Unprocessed

Lia Avellino
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

We have access to more mental health information than at any other point in history, and yet anxiety & depression rates are growing. Mental health advice is tricking us into believing that we are self-improvement projects, which ironically is creating more disconnection as we hide our flaws to avoid judgment when we can't "work" our way out of our struggles. The truth is: we experience freedom by being honest about who we are, not changing who we are. I will be a therapist who risks something--revealing my least impressive sides to you, shifting the shame, and not fixing the problem.

  1. 2 DAYS AGO

    The Joylessness of Doing the Work While Trying to Live Your Life

    In this week's episode I talk about how joyless it can feel to try to be the person you want to be. That the reward you get comes later, not in the immediate aftermath. How exhausting it can be to practice restraint when you want to scream, and how triggering restraining can be for those of us who have over functioned and done it our whole lives. This episode is a big exhale for anyone who has held more than their share and is tired, but has to keep going.  Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship. The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs. By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast. The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

    12 min

  2. 21 JAN

    Are You Getting Worse or Just Feeling More of The Truth?

    In this week's episode, I talk about how sometimes when we feel more, it can make us question our healing. I share about how when I feel more anger, I realize that feeling "worse" is actually getting me closer to my truth. Many of us confuse anxiety relief with feeling "good," but it's not emotional freedom. Listen in as I differentiate between feeling "right" versus "good," and my reflection on a culture that is telling us all pain needs to be fixed, not felt.

    16 min

  3. 14 JAN

    Say The Thing!

    We are living in the time when many people are revealing vulnerable things, but not in a vulnerable way. It's not only what we say but how we say it that is the true reveal. I talk about how I've wordsmithed, in order to share what is sort of true, but not the heart of what is true. In Lily King's book she says "The truth has nothing to do with the facts." Are you living in truth or in fact? Listen in to learn about the difference between listening with our ears versus our hearts, revealing with our words versus our bodies.

    13 min

  4. 7 JAN

    The Sex I Didn't Have (and what to do about it)

    When we have to skip certain developmental experiences as children, we may try to have that experience in adulthood. I share about the fun I didn't have and how that shows up in my present life. In this episode I explore, both the necessity of and potential parameters needed in order to get to fuck up, without fucking up our lives. I get into how questioning your life choices may be evidence, not that the choice is wrong, but that it cannot make up for what you didn't experience. This is for you if you have regret, you regress to childlike thinking "I am done", "I don't want to express my needs", "they should know", "my life was tough so now I get to be the tough one", or you fantasize about the lives you didn't choose to live.

    19 min

  5. 24/12/2025

    The Healing Is On You, Not Them

    In the final episode of 2025, I explore how there is no one size fits all method for healing--for some of us it's staying in the relationship longer, for others its leaving more quickly. I share about a pretty story I put on a pain point, so I didn't have to face it, and how this increased my suffering and my stuckness. Listen in, to begin to own the ways that you are wanting to be rescued, when really you need to rescue yourself.

    13 min

  6. 17/12/2025

    Why The Hard Truth is Soothing

    I talk about an interaction with my therapist where she anticipates something hard is going to happen between us, and how soothed I felt knowing that it will, rather than being surprised by it when it does. In this episode, I talk about how we try protecting others from the truth and protecting ourselves from it (by saying "me too," when we don't actually feel that way), and what I am learning about leaning into what's hard.

    22 min

  7. 10/12/2025

    When You Want to Do, But Need to Grieve

    You've heard me say that feeling goes against doing. When I feel grief, I want to do more. I want to tend to others grief instead of sit in my own. This week, following the death of relative, I noticed this pattern and did something different: this is called opposite action. I explore why it's so hard to say "can you help me?" and how being a "helper," hides the part of us that needs helping.

    14 min

  8. 03/12/2025

    Why We Stay Stuck

    We feel frustration when we are stuck, but in this episode, I share about my stuckness in a big life decision and what I learned about how to move through stuckness without force. It starts with getting to know the two opposing energies: stalling and forward moving, and then looking at the bigger fear under the fear you think you have about change.

    17 min
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About

We have access to more mental health information than at any other point in history, and yet anxiety & depression rates are growing. Mental health advice is tricking us into believing that we are self-improvement projects, which ironically is creating more disconnection as we hide our flaws to avoid judgment when we can't "work" our way out of our struggles. The truth is: we experience freedom by being honest about who we are, not changing who we are. I will be a therapist who risks something--revealing my least impressive sides to you, shifting the shame, and not fixing the problem.

Information

  • Creator
    Lia Avellino
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    40
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Lia Avellino
  • Show Website
    Unprocessed