Ask The Betrayed

Sharon & Rae
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The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)

  1. 2 DAYS AGO · BONUS

    SHORTS S1 - HOPE: CHOOSING TO BELIEVE THAT HEALING IS POSSIBLE

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed - Shorts, Sharon speaks directly to anyone feeling shattered, lost, or hopeless after infidelity. She explains why betrayed partners often cling to the hope that the old relationship can be restored—and why real hope comes from something deeper: rebuilding your sense of self, your worth, and your inner clarity. Sharon shares personal insight, including the moment she realized she had to live for herself, align her life with her values, and rebuild a foundation strong enough to stand on—with or without the relationship. She teaches how to shift from living in reaction to living intentionally, how to reclaim the parts of yourself you abandoned, and how to find tiny sparks of hope even in devastation. This is a message for every betrayed partner who wonders: Will I ever be okay again? The answer is yes. And it begins with turning inward, grounding in your truth, and taking one small courageous step at a time. 💛 In This Episode You'll Learn: • Why hope feels impossible after betrayal—and why it matters • The difference between hoping for the old relationship vs. hoping for your healing • How changed reality, secret lives, and grief shape the hopelessness you feel • The moment Sharon realized healing required living for herself • How to rebuild self-worth after betrayal • Why focusing inward—not on the unfaithful partner—is essential • How to shift from defense to offense in your own life • Small daily choices that awaken hope again Hope isn't naïve — it's choosing to believe healing is possible even when the path is unclear. 💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    9 min

  2. 18/12/2025

    EP 15: CAN GRATITUDE AND THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL COEXIST?

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore what gratitude really looks like in the wake of infidelity — without toxic positivity, forced silver linings, or emotional self-betrayal: • Not having to pretend you're okay • Not minimizing the trauma Learn why gratitude gets complicated during the holidays where it seems to be expected, how survivors toggle between grief and glimpses of joy, and why holding two truths at the same time is such a powerful recovery skill. You'll hear stories of those first post-betrayal holidays… the bathroom escape plan… the moment when clarity becomes a gift, even if painful… and how betrayed partners can reclaim meaningful moments instead of pretending they're "fine." 💛 In this episode, we talk about… • Why forced gratitude is retraumatizing, not healing • How the brain uses small moments of goodness like traction • The power of presence, honesty, and strategic choices during holidays (and, really, any other time) • How to reset at any moment • Why clarity — even painful clarity — is something to honor • How to find "meaningful moments of comfort and joy" • Ways the unfaithful can show appreciation that truly matters Healing isn't about plastering a smile over heartbreak — it's about making room for hope while telling the truth about the hurt. 💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    35 min

  3. 28/11/2025

    EP 14: SECRET WEAPONS AGAINST BEING MISUNDERSTOOD

    In this vulnerable and transformative episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae dive into one of the most universal pain points for betrayed partners: being misunderstood. Whether it's feeling dismissed, judged, minimized, or simply unseen, betrayal trauma magnifies how deeply we need to be understood — and how hard it can be to communicate our truth. Drawing from decades of clinical experience and lived wisdom, Sharon and Rae unpack why so many betrayed partners struggle to express themselves, why partners often misread our emotional signals, and how childhood conditioning, nervous system responses, and relational trauma shape the ways we share (or silence) our truths. This episode gives you practical tools, compassionate insight, and scripts you can use today to help you be understood — without shrinking, apologizing, or losing yourself.   🎧 In This Episode You'll Learn: • Why BEING misunderstood is different from FEELING misunderstood • How childhood messages ("You're too much," "Don't be a burden") teach us to hide our true selves • How societal norms silence betrayed partners  • Why your nervous system's "big energy" can unintentionally trigger defensiveness • How partners filter your vulnerability through their own wounds • Why many betrayed partners stop sharing after receiving dismissive or hurtful responses • How to make "bids for connection" that actually work • Tools for self-regulation before hard conversations • How to prepare for a vulnerable conversation so you can speak clearly and be heard • Questions to ask yourself to understand why something is hurting so much • How trauma, history, and old wounds intensify your reactions   💬 Key Takeaways: • You deserve to be seen, heard, and understood — not judged or minimized. • Self-regulation is the first step in being understood; clarity starts inside you. • The power of "I" statements  • Your partner's reaction is not a measure of your worth or clarity. • Vulnerability requires preparation, boundaries, and compassion for yourself. • Healthy relationships start with healthy self-connection   💡 You'll Also Hear About: • How neurodiversity (ADHD/ADD) impacts communication • How to set the emotional stage so your partner can truly hear you • How to avoid common traps   💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    39 min

  4. 14/11/2025

    EP13: MYTH BUSTERS - Exposing Blocks to Betrayal Recovery

    In this practical episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae tackle some of the most common and destructive myths that keep betrayed partners trapped in confusion, guilt, and fear after infidelity. From "This pain will last forever" to "If I can keep them from acting out, I'll be safe" they dismantle the cultural and emotional myths that block healing—and replace them with compassionate, reality-based truths. In This Episode You'll Learn that: ✅ Healing from betrayal requires truth, not perfection. ✅ Repair happens through consistency, not control. ✅ You can love your family and protect your peace. ✅ Hope isn't naïve—it's a survival skill. ✅ How to parent through betrayal trauma recovery ✅ When to seek help ✅ How to recognize the lies that keep you stuck in fear and self-blame. Whether you're early in your healing or well into your rebuilding journey, this conversation offers hope, insight, and practical strategies for moving forward with clarity and strength. 💬 Please comment below: Which of these myths have come up for you in your recovery?  👍 If this episode resonates, like and subscribe for more support on your healing journey. 🔔 Turn on notifications so you never miss an episode! Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    39 min

  5. 30/10/2025

    EP 12: Big Fat Lies We Tell Ourselves in Betrayal Recovery

    In this powerful episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae expose the Big Fat Lies that keep betrayed partners trapped in pain and confusion after infidelity. From the cultural myths of "Good things happen to good people" to the heartbreaking belief that "Once a cheater, always a cheater," this conversation dismantles the false stories that sabotage healing. Together, they share real-life examples and clinical insights on: ✅ Why we cling to lies like "If I were better, this wouldn't have happened." ✅ How shame, denial, and comparison keep you emotionally stuck. ✅ Why believing "People can't change" blocks recovery for both partners. ✅ How endurance and "being strong" can actually become a trauma response. ✅ What genuine healing looks like when truth replaces self-blame. You'll also hear deeply personal reflections—from Sharon's story of objectification and "CEO-style" relationships to Rae's raw honesty about the panic, comparison, and self-loss that betrayal creates. This episode is a compassionate reminder that your pain matters, your boundaries are sacred, and your healing is possible. 💬 Key Takeaways: • Betrayal trauma thrives on false narratives—healing begins when you stop believing them. • You didn't cause the betrayal. • Strength isn't pretending you're fine—it's choosing truth over survival mode. • You can believe in change without abandoning your safety. 💡 Listen if you're ready to: ✔ Break free from self-blame ✔ Challenge the myths that keep you small ✔ Reclaim your voice and your truth after infidelity 💬 Please comment below if any of these 7 traps have appeared in your recovery - let the community know which ones, how they affected your recovery and if & how you have been able to move forward from them. 🔔 Please subscribe for more episodes of Ask the Betrayed and Ask the Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) for weekly conversations that bring truth, guidance, and hope to couples navigating betrayal recovery. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    32 min

  6. 15/10/2025

    EP 11: Spot the 7 Traps That Stop Infidelity Recovery In Its Tracks

    When infidelity shatters a relationship, recovery doesn't fail because of one event—it stops because of the traps that keep couples' relational recovery stuck. In this powerful episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae expose the seven relational pitfalls that derail healing after betrayal. They share raw personal stories, real client examples, and the emotional truth behind why so many couples can't move forward—even when they want to.  Whether you're the betrayed partner trying to make sense of the chaos, or the unfaithful partner trying to rebuild trust, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a roadmap to relational recovery. 💬 You'll Learn: ✅ Why blame and resentment destroy recovery after infidelity ✅ How unfaithful partners unknowingly prolong their betrayed partner's trauma ✅ The truth about shame, defensiveness, and emotional abandonment ✅ How to recognize when you're sabotaging your own healing ✅ Practical steps for rebuilding relational trust and accountability If you're ready to stop the cycle of pain and finally start healing—together—this episode will change how you see recovery after betrayal. 💬 Please comment below if any of these 7 traps have appeared in your recovery - let the community know which ones, how they affected your recovery and if & how you have been able to move forward from them. 🔔 Please subscribe for more episodes of Ask the Betrayed and Ask the Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) for weekly conversations that bring truth, guidance, and hope to couples navigating betrayal recovery. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    49 min

  7. 02/10/2025

    EP 10: FROM SILENCE TO STRENGTH: FINDING YOUR VOICE AFTER INFIDELITY

    Have you ever felt like no matter how loudly you speak, your unfaithful partner still doesn't hear you? In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore what it means for betrayed partners to find their voice after infidelity. 👉 Betrayal trauma often silences partners. Years of being dismissed, gaslit, or ignored leave many questioning whether their truth even matters. Healing begins when you learn to reclaim your voice, set boundaries, and trust your own reality again. In this episode, you'll learn: ✅ Why betrayed partners often feel silenced or talked out of their truth ✅ The difference between just "being heard" and actually being understood ✅ How to use your voice in healthy, empowering ways during recovery ✅ Common pitfalls (like overexplaining, begging, or shutting down) ✅ Tools to build confidence, self-trust, and effective boundaries Whether you're early in your healing or rebuilding long after discovery, this conversation offers hope, insight, and practical strategies for speaking your truth with strength and clarity. 💬 What about you? Have you struggled to be heard after betrayal? Comment below—we'd love to hear your story. 🔔 Subscribe for more episodes of Ask the Betrayed and Ask the Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) for weekly conversations that bring truth, guidance, and hope to couples navigating betrayal recovery. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    38 min

  8. 18/09/2025 · VIDEO

    EP 9: Is The Unfaithful Really Sorry of Just Sorry They Got Caught

    Are they truly sorry—or just sorry they got caught? In this powerful episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae unpack one of the most pressing questions betrayed partners ask after infidelity. Together, they explore how to recognize genuine remorse versus surface-level regret and why that distinction matters for recovery. You'll learn: ✅ The difference between remorse (healing-focused) and regret (self-focused resentment). ✅ How betrayed partners can sense the difference between "I'm sorry for what I did to you" and "I'm sorry I feel bad." ✅ Why understanding betrayal trauma is essential for the unfaithful to rebuild trust. ✅ The role of transparency and living amends in proving change over time. ✅ Practical examples of what real accountability and empathy look like in daily life. This episode blends professional insights, real client stories, and lived experience to give both betrayed and unfaithful partners a roadmap toward clarity, safety, and lasting repair. 💡 Key takeaway: Saying "I'm sorry" is not enough. True remorse is shown in action—through transparency, empathy, and a long-term commitment to healing both yourself and your relationship. 👇 We'd love to hear what resonated most for you - or you can ask your question for a future episode. Please press the Like button and Leave Your Comment below! 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    38 min
See All (16)

About

The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)

Information

  • Creator
    Sharon & Rae
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    16
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Show Website
    Ask The Betrayed

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