The 40 Portal

Catherine Zack
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The night before my 40th birthday, I did something kind of wild. I invited the fabulous, inspiring, real-life women I knew to join me at a wine bar and asked them to "sign my yearbook." Not happy birthdays, not well wishes. I wanted wisdom. What they wrote was so raw and honest that I couldn't stop asking. The 40 Portal is a coming of aging story told by 40 real women about the portal that is midlife. Each episode, I sit down with a different woman to explore the threshold she's walking through — the portals we all face between who we were and who we're becoming. I believe a woman in her 40s is one of the most interesting, creative, powerful, and inspiring creatures in the universe. And as more and more of us step into our power, claim our own voices, our bodies, our good work in the world, this world is going to be a kinder, more beautiful, more emboldened, and more just place for all of us. Portals can be big and specific—turning 40, battling cancer, losing a loved one, divorce, becoming a mother, leaving a career. Or they can be less specific but still all-encompassing—the "everything looks fine but I'm dying inside" feeling, the army crawl, the resentment. We talk about it all. Each episode is anchored by handwritten wisdom submitted by listeners. Because typing is fast — it's what we're DOING all day. Handwriting is slow. Handwriting reveals our BEING. When you slow down, truth slips through. This isn't a podcast about experts or influencers. This is a podcast about real women telling the truth about their real lives. Because when women tell the truth (not the polished Instagram version, but the actual truth) it sets us all free. New episodes weekly starting January 25, 2026. Submit your handwritten wisdom at the40portal.com. Hosted by Catherine Zack, former Big Law attorney turned meditation teacher, executive coach, speaker, writer, and collector of women’s wisdom.

  1. 2 DAYS AGO

    Stop Pushing. What Your Body, the Seasons, and Your Ancestors Are Telling You: Callia Hargrove

    What happens when the job title you worked years for stops fitting — and you realize you've become the label, not the person? Callia Hargrove is a brand strategist, marketer, educator, and passionate advocate for change, and the founder of Backstory, the inclusive brand strategy consultancy she launched in 2020. Before that, she spent years developing inclusive marketing and impact initiatives at Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, and Teen Vogue. But when it was time to leave that world behind, she faced something no resume could prepare her for: a full identity reckoning. Callia is a textbook Capricorn, a 1/3 projector in human design, and someone who — without a resume in sight — describes herself as a seer. Someone always seeking to understand. Her journey from hustle culture burnout to seasonal living, energy management, and trusting her own body's wisdom is one that will feel deeply familiar to any woman approaching 40 who is done pushing and ready to feel genuinely aligned. In this conversation, Cath and Callia explore what it truly means to stop forcing and start trusting, the intelligence of the body when a path stops fitting, and why no community — not even women approaching 40 — is a monolith. What we explore in this episode: The difference between forcing connection and trusting flow — and what human design (specifically being a 1/3 projector) taught Callia about when to push and when to pauseLeaving "Callia from Teen Vogue" behind — and the identity reckoning that came with itThe seasonal map: how Callia uses the rhythms of Chinese medicine, astrology, and her own body to structure her work and her lifeThe points system — an alternative to hustle culture's productivity myth that will change how you think about your energy (stay till the end)Being a participant, not a passenger, in the building of your own lifeWhy there is no monolith of women at any age — and why that's exactly the point of this podcastWhat her grandmother's mural in St. Albans, Queens has to do with all of itThe healing balm of storytelling — especially now Books mentioned: When Things Fall Apart — Pema Chödrön (ThriftBooks)You Can Heal Your Life — Louise Hay (ThriftBooks)Meditations for the People of Color — Myo-Un La Van Zane (ThriftBooks)Connect with Callia: calliahargrove.com Mentioned in this episode: Episode 5 with Alison — https://the40portal.substack.com/p/and-now-its-like-this-on-the-grief?r=6l5p5w Episode 6 with Francesca Choy-Kee Damico — https://the40portal.substack.com/p/were-not-late-were-right-on-time?r=6l5p5w The June 17–19 Women's Retreat — https://www.the40portal.com/retreat

    1hr 4min

  2. 29 MAR

    We're Not Late. We're Right On Time: On Motherhood & Identity with Francesca Choy-Kee Damico

    "We're not late. We're right on time." That's where this conversation ends. How we get there is a rich, tender journey through motherhood and identity, the long hallway of your 30s, the ancestral weight of women who never learned to tend to themselves, what labor actually teaches you about staying, and the particular urgency of finally claiming your own story in your 40s. Francesca Choy-Kee Damico is a former Broadway actor, INELDA-trained Death Doula, a threshold designer and founder of Studio Homecoming. She is 41, a Hudson Valley neighbor, a mother, and women walking boldly through her portal. This episode sits right next to last week's conversation with Alison Matheny about being childless by circumstance. Two completely different stories. The same throughline: motherhood — the having of it, the missing of it, the becoming through it — is a 40 portal thing. If you're a woman in midlife asking who you are underneath the roles — this episode is for you. We explore: The grace we all need right now — and how motherhood dismantles perfectionism in ways nothing else can.The polarity of it all — the light on your child's eyelashes, the singular preciousness of this moment, and being so tired you've eaten nothing but cheddar bunnies. This is how we actually live.The sandwich generation — aging parents, young children, mortgages, identity — all held at once.The ancestral untying — a long maternal lineage of women who were the emotional center of everything and never learned to rest, ask for help, or stop when their body said stop.What labor actually taught her about learning to stay — finding a room inside herself she didn't know existed.Why 40 is the beginning — "I feel like I am just getting started with the tools I have to sculpt the vision." About Francesca: After 13 years as a Broadway actor with ribbons of design work woven through — most notably at AD100 firm Workstead — Francesca is now a mother, INELDA-trained Death Doula, and a threshold designer and founder of Studio Homecoming. She accompanies people through major life transitions using home environment, beauty, and ritual. Find her: studiohomecoming.com | @whenfrankiewakesup Want to go deeper? Join me June 17-19 in the Hudson Valley for the Portal Retreat — a small gathering of women exploring and sharing their midlife stories in community together. I've planned lots of rest, care, space and grace. 3 spots left --> https://www.catherinezack.com/june2026retreat Submit your wisdom — your voice belongs in this podcast. If you're over 40: what have you learned, earned, and burned? If you're under 40: what's the open question you're living? Add your voice: the40portal.com/submit New episodes drop every Sunday. Subscribe, rate, review — it genuinely helps more women find this show. Substack: substack.com/@the40portal Website: the40portal.com | catherinezack.com Instagram: @the40portal Hosted by Catherine Zack | Guest: Francesca Choy-Kee Damico | Edited by Ruwantha Gunasinghe © 2026 The 40 Portal. All rights reserved.

    1hr 17min

  3. 28 FEB

    On Fawning No Longer, the Village, & Refusing to Disappear After 40 with Becca Piastrelli

    Becca and I spent last summer voice-memo-ing each other deep questions and raw answers in the weeks before we each turned 40, two days apart from each other. Somewhere in those exchanges I felt it — a collective quickening. Real women standing at the threshold, telling their stories. Worthy not because of what they’d accomplished or achieved or could put on a resume. Worthy simply by virtue of being here. That’s what became The 40 Portal Podcast. This episode is foundational. If you want to understand what the portal actually is — what liminality means, why this threshold matters, what’s on the other side — this is the episode to send your friends. In this episode, we talk about: → What the portal actually is — liminality, the birth canal, the hallway, the messy middle — and why 40 is not a day, it’s a journey → Fawning, conflict avoidance, and outsourcing your worthiness to what others think — and what it actually takes to stop → Learning to give less f*cks about being misunderstood, judged, or unliked — and how to practice that in real life → Decoupling “feeling younger” from “feeling vibrant” — there are other words than young → Smutty romantasy, Dipsea, All Fours, and so forth ;) → The fear about disappearing as we get older and wisdom from The 40 Portal that BLOWS that fear wide open (you don’t want to miss this convo at the end!) TW: we mention death of an animal during birth and Epstein & pedophilia re: the beauty standards we’re done with. ABOUT BECCA: Becca Piastrelli is a land steward, storyteller, and gatherer of community living in the Hudson Valley. She dreams of a world where we eat slower, respond to emails slower, sleep on decisions, and create space for the full spectrum of emotions to be felt. She’s a mother and a daughter, a deep and present listener, and the host of the podcast Belonging: Conversations about rites of passage, meaningful community, and seasonal living.  Find her: @beccapiastrelli | beccapiastrelli.com THE 40 PORTAL NOTEBOOK: The call-and-response you'll hear in this episode came from the handwritten notebook I passed around my 40th birthday party. Women wrote their questions, their fears, their wisdom — and sometimes they wrote back to each other without knowing it. You can add your voice to the Portal right now: the40portal.com/submit SHARE THIS EPISODE: If this conversation moved you, share it with another woman who needs to hear it. The more of us who refuse to disappear, the braver and more beautiful this world becomes. JOIN THE 40 PORTAL RETREAT: A gathering of women in the Hudson Valley, June 17-19. ALMOST SOLD OUT! CREDITS: Hosted by Catherine Zack | Guest: Becca Piastrelli | Edited by Ruwantha Gunasinghe © 2026 The 40 Portal. All rights reserved.

    56 min

  4. 25 JAN

    Welcome to The 40 Portal Podcast.

    Welcome to the trailer episode of The 40 Portal podcast, a coming of aging story, told by 40 real women. Host Catherine Zack shares the origin story: how a sketchbook at her 40th birthday party turned into something bigger. She asked inspiring women to write their wisdom in her notebook instead of signing a card. What she got back was raw, honest, beautiful — the kind of truth that doesn't show up through the algorithms. That notebook became the catalyst for this podcast. Over 40 episodes, Catherine sits down with 40 different women (ages 20s-80s) to explore the portals they're walking through — divorce, turning 40, career changes, loss, or the well-known "everything looks fine but I'm dying inside" feeling. These are threshold moments. These are the portals real women are walking through. This podcast is about what happens when women tell the truth — not the polished version, but the REAL stories. Because when women's real voices get heard, it sets us all free. Life is cyclical. Portals are natural. And a woman who knows herself is one of the most powerful, magical, and creatures on earth. Welcome to The 40 Portal, babe. Learn more and submit your wisdom and questions to The 40 Portal Podcast at the40portal.com Substack: https://substack.com/@the40portal Instagram: @the40portal Keywords: 40 Portal Podcast, women's stories, portals, threshold moments, midlife transitions, turning 40, Catherine Zack, personal transformation, women's wisdom, handwritten wisdom, authenticity, coming of age, real stories, women in their 40s, portal stories, life transitions, becoming, conscious aging, women's voices, storytelling podcast, portal work, self-knowledge, real talk, vulnerability, women over 40, midlife transformation, feminist podcast

    11 min
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About

The night before my 40th birthday, I did something kind of wild. I invited the fabulous, inspiring, real-life women I knew to join me at a wine bar and asked them to "sign my yearbook." Not happy birthdays, not well wishes. I wanted wisdom. What they wrote was so raw and honest that I couldn't stop asking. The 40 Portal is a coming of aging story told by 40 real women about the portal that is midlife. Each episode, I sit down with a different woman to explore the threshold she's walking through — the portals we all face between who we were and who we're becoming. I believe a woman in her 40s is one of the most interesting, creative, powerful, and inspiring creatures in the universe. And as more and more of us step into our power, claim our own voices, our bodies, our good work in the world, this world is going to be a kinder, more beautiful, more emboldened, and more just place for all of us. Portals can be big and specific—turning 40, battling cancer, losing a loved one, divorce, becoming a mother, leaving a career. Or they can be less specific but still all-encompassing—the "everything looks fine but I'm dying inside" feeling, the army crawl, the resentment. We talk about it all. Each episode is anchored by handwritten wisdom submitted by listeners. Because typing is fast — it's what we're DOING all day. Handwriting is slow. Handwriting reveals our BEING. When you slow down, truth slips through. This isn't a podcast about experts or influencers. This is a podcast about real women telling the truth about their real lives. Because when women tell the truth (not the polished Instagram version, but the actual truth) it sets us all free. New episodes weekly starting January 25, 2026. Submit your handwritten wisdom at the40portal.com. Hosted by Catherine Zack, former Big Law attorney turned meditation teacher, executive coach, speaker, writer, and collector of women’s wisdom.

Information

  • Creator
    Catherine Zack
  • Years Active
    2k
  • Episodes
    11
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Catherine Zack

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