Leading Ain't Easy

Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley
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Leadership looks shiny on social media. But the reality is it’s messy, isolating, and full of self-doubt. Leading Ain’t Easy pulls back the curtain on the side of leadership nobody puts on their résumé. Hosted by Ryan Calkins (Marine Corps veteran, career/leadership coach, and founder of Reframe & Rise) and Erny Epley (public-sector leader and founder of Bus Pro Network), this show dives into the raw, unfiltered truths of leading others; whether it’s in the military, the public sector, or the private world of business. We’re not here with corporate buzzwords or textbook definitions. Instead, you’ll hear: Honest stories about the challenges and failures that shaped us.Real conversations about the doubts and decisions leaders wrestle with every day.Lessons, frameworks, and laughs that remind you you’re not alone in the struggle. Episodes run 45-60 minutes (long enough to go deep, short enough for a commute) and drop weekly. Some weeks it’s just us, other weeks we’ll bring in guests (current and aspiring leaders) to share their own unfiltered journeys. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out for this role, questioned yourself after making a hard call, or felt like a fraud even with the title… this podcast is for you. Because leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

  1. 5 DAYS AGO

    "Soft Skills" Aren't Soft — They're the Hardest Part of Leading

    Most leadership development focuses on the technical side: how to run a meeting, how to build a plan, how to hit a number. Emotional intelligence doesn't fit neatly on a training checklist. And that gap, Ryan Calkins and John Moore argue, is costing leaders more than they know. In this episode, they get into why EQ and empathy keep getting dismissed as optional, and what actually happens when leaders don't develop them. Ryan talks honestly about his own struggle with emotional regulation early in his career (including a callback to a past episode on "Fix Your Face"). John shares what he saw coaching managers who defaulted to combative responses because nobody ever prepared them for the moment things got hard. They cover: Why great technical performers often struggle when they move into leadership, and the specific pattern that plays outThe burnout manager problem: what happens when someone was never taught to delegate or invest in their teamHow to stay consistent in your approach without it feeling scripted, and the real difference between consistency and rigidityThe salary and promotion question: should someone be penalized for not wanting a leadership role?What Ryan and John each believe empathy actually is, and whether it can be taught or only livedThe episode closes with a question worth sitting with: which of these skills are you avoiding because they're uncomfortable? And are you using technical ability to paper over the relational gaps? "Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    52 min

  2. 7 APR

    Why "We're Like a Family" Can Backfire

    The "we're like a family here" pitch is everywhere... and for a lot of people, it sounds like exactly what they want. Belonging. Loyalty. People who have your back. But Ryan Calkins and John Moore have both lived the other side of that story; as leaders who genuinely wanted to build real team culture, and as people who eventually had to confront what it cost them. In this episode, they get into: Why the family framing puts invisible pressure on employees and the sense of obligation that builds quietly and often goes unexamined until something breaksRyan's decision to split his paternity leave across four quarters to protect the team, and the moment he realized the company wasn't holding the same loyalty in returnJohn's experience being told by HR that he was too invested in his staff and why that was genuinely hard to hearWhat happens when "we're family" triggers something different for every person walking through the door, and why leaders need to account for thatThe difference between building a culture of genuine care versus over-investing in people who aren't asking for it, or in a company that doesn't share your visionWhat a healthier version actually looks like: community over family language, measured investment, and separating personal worth from workplace performanceThis isn't a conversation about how to build a better culture program. It's two people talking through what they got wrong, what it cost them, and what they'd do differently. "Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    55 min

  3. 31 MAR

    The Generation Gap: Managing Boomers, Millennials, and Gen Z on the Same Team

    Ryan Calkins and John Moore get into one of the most frustrating realities of modern management: you're not leading one kind of person, you're leading four generations at once, each shaped by different economics, different work cultures, and wildly different ideas about what work is even supposed to feel like. What they explored in this conversation: The loyalty question: why older workers stayed seven or eight years and newer workers leave in three, and whether that's really about character or just doing the math differentlyWhat it actually felt like to manage experienced drivers twice your age with no authority to fall back on, and what Ryan did instead of pretending to be the expertWhy John spent years giving more to companies than they gave back, and what finally made him stopThe cross-training habit John built after watching teams get held hostage by the one person who knew how everything workedHow economics (housing, healthcare, dual-income households,etc.) shape the expectations of the people you're managing right nowThe best piece of leadership advice John ever received, and why two words have held up for 30 years"Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    54 min

  4. 24 MAR

    When Management Won't Do Anything About a Problem Employee (feat. John Moore)

    Every team has had one; the person everyone's complained about, more than once, and nothing visibly changes. Before you write off your leadership, Ryan Calkins, John Moore, and ErnyEpley get into what you might not be seeing, and what it actually feels like to be on the other side of that silence. They cover the full picture: what's actually happening behind the scenes when HR is involved and managers can't say so, why the top producer who's also a problem creates a genuine strategic dilemma for leaders, and what happens to a team's culture and accountability when that dilemma goes unresolved for too long. Key topics from this episode: What's actually happening on the other side of the silence — building a case takes time, and leaders often can't tell you any of it.The producer-problem tradeoff — When the person driving results is also the person creating conflict, leaders face a genuinely hard call. This episode doesn't pretend otherwise.Managerial ethics and the friendship problem — What happens when that employee is also someone you went on vacation with last month.The domino effect of doing nothing — Standards don't just erode quietly. They collapse fast, and they take your best people with them.Inheriting a broken culture — What it looks like to walk into a team where problems have been ignored for years, and how to start rebuilding without losing everyone in the process.What to actually say — When you can't share details, there's still something honest and useful you can tell your team.Leading ain't easy — but you don't have to do it alone. Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    41 min

  5. 17 MAR

    Respect vs Likability (feat. Rene Guerrero)

    Do you need to be liked to be an effective leader? In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan and Erny sit down with Rene Guerrero, Assistant Public Works Director for the City of Ontario, to talk through one of the most common tensions leaders face: the balance between being respected and being liked. Rene brings nearly 30 years of experience in engineering and public works leadership and shares what he has learned about credibility, trust, transparency, and tough decisions. Together, they explore how leaders can build real respect without becoming cold, rigid, or disconnected from their teams. The conversation covers: the difference between wanting to be liked and needing to be likedwhy respect is built through consistency and integrityhow transparency helps people understand hard decisionswhy authenticity matters when stepping into leadershipand how to avoid drifting into fear-based or approval-based leadershipThey also share personal stories about being the face of difficult decisions, navigating leadership transitions, and learning that it is okay if not everyone likes you. If you have ever struggled with trying to be a “good” leader without becoming a people pleaser, this episode will hit home. Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    49 min

  6. 10 MAR

    PIPs Aren't the End of the World

    A Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) can feel like a career death sentence. For a lot of people, getting put on a PIP feels deeply personal. It can hit your confidence, make you question your future, and leave you wondering whether you are already halfway out the door. In this episode, Ryan and Erny talk about PIPs from both sides. Ryan shares what it was like to be put on a PIP himself, including how hard it hit when it felt personal instead of productive. Erny talks about how leaders should approach performance issues before they ever get to that point, and why no employee should be blindsided by critical feedback at evaluation time. They also get into: when a PIP is being used the right waywhen it starts to feel weaponizedwhy accountability mattershow leaders can communicate clearly and empatheticallyand why a PIP does not automatically mean your career is overThis episode is for leaders who want to handle performance issues better, and for employees who need the reminder that one hard moment does not define the rest of their career. A PIP may be a setback, but it does not have to be the end. Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    45 min

  7. 3 MAR

    Leading When You Don’t Like Someone

    You’re a leader. You’re not supposed to say it out loud. But let’s be real: you’re not going to like everyone you lead. In this episode, Ryan and Erny talk about what to do when someone on your team gets under your skin, without letting it turn into bias, favoritism, avoidance, or over-correction.  We get into staying objective, using data and clear expectations, managing your ego, and keeping the main thing the main thing: results, culture, and consistency. You don’t have to be their friend. But you do have to lead them well. "Leading Ain't Easy, but you don't have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    51 min

  8. 24 FEB

    Executive Presence (feat. Frank Hopkins)

    A lot of people think “executive presence” means being polished, charismatic, or loud. It doesn’t. In this episode, we’re joined by executive coach Frank Hopkins, who works with CEOs and executive teams (primarily community banks across the Southeast). Together, we break down what executive presence actually is: carrying authority before you speak; and reinforcing it through judgment, composure, clarity, and behavior under pressure. We get into the difference between authority and credibility, why “confidence theater” fails, and why the leaders people trust most are the ones who stay regulated when the stakes go up. Frank also explains a hard truth middle managers live every day: you’re accountable up and you’re responsible down — and if you complain down, you’ll lose trust fast. And then we land on the line that should be taped to every leader’s wall: “If you’re in charge, you’re responsible for everything.” What we cover: What executive presence is (and what it is not)“Authority without force” and getting people to follow you even when they don’t have toComposure under pressure: calm isn’t passive, it’s containmentClear decisions without hedging and over-explainingWhy consistency is the hardest part (especially when you’re tired)Middle management reality: translating top-down changes without losing trustTaking responsibility and shielding your team (and why it builds loyalty fast)If you’re trying to lead at a higher level (or you’re already there and feel the weight of it) this one’s for you. "Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." Leading Ain't Easy was created by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley, and is hosted by Ryan and John Moore. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, where he works with veterans who transitioned successfully but still feel something's off; helping them find alignment, not just a better job title.John is a certified life and career coach with 20+ years of experience helping people navigate transitions, find purpose, and lead with intention — drawing on backgrounds in corporate leadership, counseling, and entrepreneurship.Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development, and joins the show as an occasional guest.Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates.  If this episode resonated, please leave a review as it helps more leaders find us.

    44 min
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About

Leadership looks shiny on social media. But the reality is it’s messy, isolating, and full of self-doubt. Leading Ain’t Easy pulls back the curtain on the side of leadership nobody puts on their résumé. Hosted by Ryan Calkins (Marine Corps veteran, career/leadership coach, and founder of Reframe & Rise) and Erny Epley (public-sector leader and founder of Bus Pro Network), this show dives into the raw, unfiltered truths of leading others; whether it’s in the military, the public sector, or the private world of business. We’re not here with corporate buzzwords or textbook definitions. Instead, you’ll hear: Honest stories about the challenges and failures that shaped us.Real conversations about the doubts and decisions leaders wrestle with every day.Lessons, frameworks, and laughs that remind you you’re not alone in the struggle. Episodes run 45-60 minutes (long enough to go deep, short enough for a commute) and drop weekly. Some weeks it’s just us, other weeks we’ll bring in guests (current and aspiring leaders) to share their own unfiltered journeys. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out for this role, questioned yourself after making a hard call, or felt like a fraud even with the title… this podcast is for you. Because leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    24
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Leading Ain't Easy
  • Show Website
    Leading Ain't Easy
  • Provider