Leading Ain't Easy

Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley
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Leadership looks shiny on social media. But the reality is it’s messy, isolating, and full of self-doubt. Leading Ain’t Easy pulls back the curtain on the side of leadership nobody puts on their résumé. Hosted by Ryan Calkins (Marine Corps veteran, career/leadership coach, and founder of Reframe & Rise) and Erny Epley (public-sector leader and founder of Bus Pro Network), this show dives into the raw, unfiltered truths of leading others; whether it’s in the military, the public sector, or the private world of business. We’re not here with corporate buzzwords or textbook definitions. Instead, you’ll hear: Honest stories about the challenges and failures that shaped us.Real conversations about the doubts and decisions leaders wrestle with every day.Lessons, frameworks, and laughs that remind you you’re not alone in the struggle. Episodes run 45-60 minutes (long enough to go deep, short enough for a commute) and drop weekly. Some weeks it’s just us, other weeks we’ll bring in guests (current and aspiring leaders) to share their own unfiltered journeys. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out for this role, questioned yourself after making a hard call, or felt like a fraud even with the title… this podcast is for you. Because leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    Episode 16 - Executive Presence (feat. Frank Hopkins)

    A lot of people think “executive presence” means being polished, charismatic, or loud. It doesn’t. In this episode, we’re joined by executive coach Frank Hopkins, who works with CEOs and executive teams (primarily community banks across the Southeast). Together, we break down what executive presence actually is: carrying authority before you speak; and reinforcing it through judgment, composure, clarity, and behavior under pressure. We get into the difference between authority and credibility, why “confidence theater” fails, and why the leaders people trust most are the ones who stay regulated when the stakes go up. Frank also explains a hard truth middle managers live every day: you’re accountable up and you’re responsible down — and if you complain down, you’ll lose trust fast. And then we land on the line that should be taped to every leader’s wall: “If you’re in charge, you’re responsible for everything.” What we cover: What executive presence is (and what it is not)“Authority without force” and getting people to follow you even when they don’t have toComposure under pressure: calm isn’t passive, it’s containmentClear decisions without hedging and over-explainingWhy consistency is the hardest part (especially when you’re tired)Middle management reality: translating top-down changes without losing trustTaking responsibility and shielding your team (and why it builds loyalty fast)If you’re trying to lead at a higher level (or you’re already there and feel the weight of it) this one’s for you. "Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    44 min

  2. 17 FEB

    Episode 15 - Leadership Mistakes That Can Negatively Impact Culture

    If we're being real, workplace culture doesn’t live in mission statements or speeches, it lives in what happens every day. In Episode 15, Ryan and Erny break down the leadership mistakes that can erode culture over time: preaching standards but tolerating contradictions, avoiding tough conversations, playing favorites, and overvaluing performance while ignoring behavior. They also talk through two real-world culture scenarios: the “impossible situation” where morale is already in the toilet, and the “good culture on paper” situation where a lack of accountability eventually creates serious problems. A big theme throughout this one: culture is what you allow... and if you want it to improve, you can’t ignore it. In this episode: Why culture starts at the top (and how inconsistency kills trust)The danger of chasing numbers while ignoring behaviorWhy accountability protects your high performers (and your team’s morale)How to hold standards without becoming a micromanagerWhy recognition matters more than people think (kudos/shoutouts)The burnout trap: trying to change what you can’t controlIf you’ve ever stepped into a messy team, inherited a culture problem, or felt yourself burning out trying to fight upstream, this one’s for you. "Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    46 min

  3. 10 FEB

    Episode 14 - Leading When You're the Youngest on the Team

    What do you do when you’re the newest leader… and everyone you’re leading is older than you? In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, we get real about what it feels like to lead without seniority, including the anxiety, the imposter thoughts, the pressure to prove yourself, and the temptation to overplay authority just to feel “legit.” Ryan shares what it was like being the youngest in the Marine Corps and then again in the workplace, including an early-career mistake that created an instant credibility problem. Erny breaks down what it means to be “new to power,” why “because I said so” backfires, and how humility and ownership are often the fastest path to real respect. If you’re the youngest manager in the room right now, this one’s for you. Key takeaways: How to earn respect without demanding itWhy proving yourself through posturing kills credibilityThe role of listening, consistency, and authenticityHow to introduce change without triggering resistanceWhy “I was wrong” is one of the hardest (and most powerful) sentences in leadership"Leading Ain’t Easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    48 min

  4. 3 FEB

    Episode 13 - Being the FNG (F’ing New Guy): Earning Trust From the Start

    Being the "new guy" is hard. Being the new leader is harder. In this episode, Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley sit down with special guest, Matt Quinn, to talk about what it really takes to earn trust when you walk into a new job with zero social capital; especially when the people around you have been doing the work longer than you’ve been alive. They cover what to do (and more importantly, what NOT to do) in your first stretch, how to listen without getting played, why “past practice” can be a trap, and the surprisingly powerful leadership habit Matt tells every new manager: clean the bathroom. In this episode: Why leaders should listen first before changing anythingHow to avoid walking into a job and “moving pieces” you don’t understandThe difference between proving yourself and performing for approvalWhy the best trust-builder is often: “I don’t know, can you teach me?”“Past practice” vs best practice (and why that distinction matters)The leadership lesson that sticks: clean the bathroom (AKA: do the job nobody wants)"Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." This episode does contain some explicit language Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    47 min

  5. 27 JAN

    Episode 12 - Setting Boundaries w/ Your Boss

    Setting boundaries with your boss is about doing what matters without burning yourself out. Ryan and Erny break down how to set boundaries respectfully, stay consistent, and protect your time without damaging trust or credibility. In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, we talk about one of the most common leadership traps: being so responsive and available that you accidentally teach people your time doesn’t matter. We unpack: How to set boundaries without sounding lazy or “bare minimum”Why consistency matters (and why moving your boundary teaches people it isn’t real)The difference between your boundary being the problem vs your environment being the problemTools that help: scheduled send, clear framing (“something else has to give”), and simple expectation-settingThe hidden issue for high performers: getting punished with more workWhat happens when boundaries collide with real deadlines (and why you need backup systems)Listener question: What’s one boundary you know you need, but haven’t set yet? “Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.” Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    45 min

  6. 20 JAN

    Episode 11 - Managing Up: How to Lead Without Authority

    Managing up is one of the most important leadership skills and one of the least taught. In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley talk about what it really looks like to lead when you don’t have authority over the people who influence your success: your boss, senior leaders, and cross-functional departments that control the data, budget, timelines, and decisions you’re expected to execute. If you’ve ever been told “figure it out” without support… if you’ve been burned by a surprise that climbed the chain… or if you’ve struggled to communicate your vision clearly under pressure... then this episode is for you. In this episode, we cover: Why leadership hates surprises (and how to avoid blindsiding your boss)How to tailor your communication to how your boss receives informationHow to challenge leadership without being seen as “difficult”Why documentation matters (and how to protect yourself with clarity)The mindset shift: clarity beats competenceQuestion for listeners: Where do you struggle most with managing up; clarity, timing, politics, or trust? Key takeaways Don’t let your boss get blindsided; give heads up early.Communicate to be understood, not just heard.Lead with the solution, then support with context.Use data to paint a clear picture fast.Document agreements and decisions (protects everyone).Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    49 min

  7. 13 JAN

    Episode 10 - Coaching in Leadership (feat. Alicia Sanders)

    Most leaders are coaching whether they realize it or not. The question is whether they’re doing it intentionally… or accidentally. In this episode of Leading Ain’t Easy, Ryan and Erny are joined by Alicia Sanders, a Director of Supply Chain Management in hospital logistics, to break down coaching as a practical leadership skill; especially in high-pressure environments where deadlines don’t stop so “development” can happen. We talk about the difference between managing vs coaching, why coaching creates real capability (not just compliance), and the hard reality leaders face when someone refuses accountability, including when coaching ends and performance management begins. If you’re tired of doing the job for your team, this episode is your reminder: coaching is slower in the moment… but faster over time. What we cover Managing vs coaching: directing tasks vs developing thinkingWhy coaching isn’t one-size-fits-allCoaching through strengths (and why EQ matters)Mentorship vs coaching, and when leaders must do bothDaily huddles/check-ins as a simple, repeatable coaching practiceThe “cut your losses” question: accountability, engagement, and realityPDCA (Plan–Do–Check–Act) as a coaching frameworkThe coaching pitfall: focusing only on the squeaky wheel and burning out high performersKey takeaway Coaching doesn't mean being “nice” or “helpful.” It’ means being effective and creating clarity, building capability, and holding standards without rescuing people. Connect with us YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCLoVJP2UfHuJzOyNx4fHpg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reframerise/ or https://www.instagram.com/buspro_network/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/leading-ain-t-easy-podcast/ Call to action If this episode hit home, drop a comment or message us: What’s the hardest part of coaching people in your environment? "Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone." Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    48 min

  8. 6 JAN

    Episode 9 - Leadership 101: What We Wish We Knew Before Leading Others

    If you’re stepping into leadership for the first time (or thinking about it) this episode is your warning label and your playbook. Ryan and Erny break down what they wish they knew before they ever had direct reports: why leadership is more about people than technical skill, why your motivation matters more than your title, how to handle accountability for things you didn’t personally do, and what happens when you get promoted over your friends. We also talk about the stuff nobody puts in the leadership books: The invisible mental loadThe emotional whiplash of “good days and bad days”Taking feedback when it comes in an ugly packageThe difference between “buy-in” and manipulationWhy moving too fast as a new leader can backfireIf leadership has felt heavier than you expected, this one’s for you. Leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Leading Ain’t Easy is hosted by Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley. Ryan is the founder of Reframe & Rise, a career and leadership coaching practice helping veterans and other professionals realign their work and lead with purpose. Erny runs Bus Pro Network, supporting school transportation leaders across California with training and development. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram for clips, prompts, and behind-the-scenes updates. If this episode resonated, please leave a review, as it helps more leaders find us.

    51 min
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About

Leadership looks shiny on social media. But the reality is it’s messy, isolating, and full of self-doubt. Leading Ain’t Easy pulls back the curtain on the side of leadership nobody puts on their résumé. Hosted by Ryan Calkins (Marine Corps veteran, career/leadership coach, and founder of Reframe & Rise) and Erny Epley (public-sector leader and founder of Bus Pro Network), this show dives into the raw, unfiltered truths of leading others; whether it’s in the military, the public sector, or the private world of business. We’re not here with corporate buzzwords or textbook definitions. Instead, you’ll hear: Honest stories about the challenges and failures that shaped us.Real conversations about the doubts and decisions leaders wrestle with every day.Lessons, frameworks, and laughs that remind you you’re not alone in the struggle. Episodes run 45-60 minutes (long enough to go deep, short enough for a commute) and drop weekly. Some weeks it’s just us, other weeks we’ll bring in guests (current and aspiring leaders) to share their own unfiltered journeys. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out for this role, questioned yourself after making a hard call, or felt like a fraud even with the title… this podcast is for you. Because leading ain’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan Calkins and Erny Epley
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Leading Ain't Easy
  • Show Website
    Leading Ain't Easy
  • Provider