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  • The Covert Narcissism Podcast
    The Covert Narcissism Podcast

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    The Covert Narcissism Podcast

    Renee Swanson, Bleav

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  • Why We Clash (and Still Make It Work)

    22 HR AGO

    1

    Why We Clash (and Still Make It Work)

    This week we’re recording on the eve of our long-awaited trip - and let’s just Louise and Ryan approach holidays VERY differently... We chat honestly about how travelling as parents hits differently, the mental load of planning, and why even a dream getaway can come with nightmares (literally). Louise opens up about adjusting to life with a stoma bag and how it’s impacted confidence around things like swimwear and holidays, while Ryan shares what it’s been like supporting from the sidelines.  We also finally dive into love languages and how those differences can affect us. Add in our  Type A vs Type B approach and… yes, there are clashes. One thing we do agree on - the online storm surrounding the Bonnie Blue viral pregnancy story and what it says about the world our children are growing up.  We also share where our heads are at when it comes to future family planning and the difficult decisions that come with it during uncertain times. 🗓 New episodes every Wednesday 📩 We’ve got a NEW email! Want to get involved? Email HSSS@srproductions.co.uk or slide straight into our DMs @hesaid.shesaid.podcast. We want it all. Your dilemmas, questions, voice notes, stories and opinions. If it’s pod-related, we’re listening. 🩵 Follow us everywhere  Instagram | TikTok | Youtube @hesaid.shesaid.podcast And of course… don’t forget to subscribe, follow, rate and review. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    22 hr ago

    •
    57 min
  • The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist with Debbie Mirza

    28/03/2025

    2

    The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist with Debbie Mirza

    What a privilege it is to introduce to you Debbie Mirza! She is best-selling author of the book "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist," one of the first books I ever read that opened my eyes to the nightmare that I was living. This book is an amazing resource for gaining awareness and understanding of covert narcissism. Her second book "Worthy of Love' presents a gentle and restorative path to healing after narcissistic abuse. Debbie is a beautiful testimony that healing is possible and thriving is obtainable. Debbie has such a gentle and tender heart for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Her gentle spirit and empowering strength are so encouraging and inspiring. She shows us all that it is possible to stand up for and protect yourself and yet maintain that kind and compassionate self that we all desire to be. To learn more about Debbie's work, visit www.debbiemirza.com June 1 is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. In honor of that day, for the entire month of June, I am offering all individual sessions with at a discounted rate of $99 per hour. We can meet once or we can meet as many times as you want. If you would like to take advantage of this offer, shoot me an email at renee@cnglifecoaching.com I also want to take a quick moment and remind you that my next round of group sessions is beginning on May 31. I only have a few spots left in these groups. You can choose between Tuesday mornings or Saturday mornings. Each group runs for 6 weeks. We meet for 2 hours on Zoom each week. You receive handouts and worksheets each week. Each group consists of 10 group members, who just like you are struggling through a relationship with a covert narcissist. It is incredibly empowering to work in a group setting where you receive so much validation for the pain, confusion and doubt that you are experiencing. If you want one of these few spots remaining, please do not hesitate to contact me. These groups will fill up.

    28/03/2025

    •
    32 min
  • When Your Adult Child is a Covert Narcissist: A Parent’s Dilemma with Dr. Mazzella

    13/03/2025

    3

    When Your Adult Child is a Covert Narcissist: A Parent’s Dilemma with Dr. Mazzella

    In this powerful Part Two of the two-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella and Renee Swanson, we shift perspectives. In part one, we discussed the adult child uncovering a covert narcissistic parent, and this is featured on The Narcissism Decoder. Now we shift to the parent who realizes their adult child exhibits covert narcissistic behaviors. Dr. Mazzella, a seasoned psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, brings his expertise in to explore the emotional turmoil, self-doubt, and painful realities parents face when confronted with this harsh truth. Together, we unpack the deep-seated psychological mechanisms that drive covert narcissism, the role of early relationship failures, and how unresolved emotional wounds shape an insatiable need for validation. This episode offers a compassionate yet realistic discussion on: 🔹 The emotional toll on parents who recognize covert narcissistic traits in their adult children 🔹 How early relational patterns influence a child’s ability to give and receive care 🔹 The internal struggles of a covert narcissist and their unrelenting need for external validation 🔹 Strategies for parents navigating this painful dynamic—when to help, when to set boundaries, and when to step back If you’ve struggled with feelings of guilt, confusion, or helplessness in your relationship with an emotionally manipulative adult child, this episode provides the clarity and support you need. You can find part one on The Narcissism Decoder - https://www.drmazzella.com/the-narcissism-decoder-podcast/

    13/03/2025

    •
    35 min
  • Took Son Out After He Punched Bully! 🥊+ Walked Out on Boyfriend's Family😳 (Reddit Stories) Ep.222

    10 FEB

    4

    Took Son Out After He Punched Bully! 🥊+ Walked Out on Boyfriend's Family😳 (Reddit Stories) Ep.222

    Go to https://zocdoc.com/CLP to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Text CLP to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.-Episode 222 w/ Yvonne, Madi, Brandon, and Sam-0:00 Yvonne (Love Doctor) is Baccck!4:13 AITA For Walking Out When My Boyfriend Turned My "Boundaries" Into a Family Group Activity7:53 Response16:31 Top Comment and Response22:56 AITAH For Taking My Son Out To Celebrate After He Got Suspended For Punching a Bully24:41 Response32:23 AITA For Telling My Daughter We Won't Have a Relationship If She Goes To Live With Her Biological Father/family33:58 Response38:26 Top Comment and Response43:59 AITA For Telling My Husband He Can't Take Out Son To His "Group" and That I'll Leave If He Tries47:02 Response56:52 Top Comment and Response1:06:02 AITA For Ending a Date After a "Harmless" Question1:07:27 Response1:09:32 Top Comment and Response-#redditstories #aita #sponsored -Find Us HereMerch: store.comfortlevelpodcast.comPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=80209941&utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator Email *For Business Purposes* | ComfortLevelBiz@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/comfortlevelpodcast/ TikTok | https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdm5aQta/ Reddit | https://www.reddit.com/r/ComfortLevelPod/

    10 Feb

    •
    1h 13m
  • Conversations I Wish I Had with My Covert Narcissist

    13/04/2025

    5

    Conversations I Wish I Had with My Covert Narcissist

    In this episode, we’re diving into the conversations I wish I could have had with the covert narcissist in my life. The words I rehearsed but never said. The truths I buried for the sake of “keeping the peace.” The sarcasm I bit back. The boundaries I swallowed. All of it. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness that is covert narcissistic abuse is to talk it out—even if it’s only in your own head. We’re pulling back the curtain on: The emotional minefield of everyday life with a covert narcissist The way gaslighting turns simple moments into emotional warfare The mental gymnastics of the “circular conversation” The rage that gets disguised as “just a rough day” The slow erosion of your voice when you’re always managing their emotions You’ll hear my real thoughts—the ones I kept silent because saying them out loud would’ve meant inviting more chaos, more blame, more confusion. But here? We say them. We say them all. This isn’t just about venting. It’s about reclaiming the space to name what happened, to validate the version of reality you know you experienced, and to remind you that you’re not crazy. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not imagining it. You’re waking up. So grab your tea, your journal, or just a quiet moment in your car, and let’s process together. Because your voice matters. Even if it’s shaking. Even if it’s only just starting to come back. ✨ Leave this episode knowing: You don’t have to keep tapdancing around someone else’s dysfunction to be worthy of love, safety, or peace. You get to stop shrinking. You get to stop rehearsing. You get to heal. — 🔗 Want support on your healing journey? Your story matters, and you deserve to be heard without judgment. If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com. And don’t forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one. #covertnarcissism #gaslighting #emotionalabuse #covertnarcissist #healingjourney #narcissisticabuserecovery #reclaimyourvoice #podcastforsurvivors

    13/04/2025

    •
    19 min
  • When Grey Rocking Backfires: How to Protect Your Peace with a Covert Narcissist

    23/03/2025

    6

    When Grey Rocking Backfires: How to Protect Your Peace with a Covert Narcissist

    Have you ever tried to Grey Rock a covert narcissist—only to watch it completely blow up in your face? You stayed neutral, kept your answers short, and avoided reacting… but somehow, things escalated anyway. In this episode, we dive deep into why Grey Rocking often backfires with a covert narcissist, and how to use it in a smarter, safer, and more strategic way. You'll learn how covert narcissists twist neutrality into rejection, how they bait you into reacting, and how to avoid giving them emotional fuel—without triggering more manipulation. We’ll break down: Why covert narcissists hate emotional detachment The difference between effective Grey Rocking and silent stonewalling How to use “disguised disengagement” to shut down manipulation When NOT to Grey Rock—and what to do instead If you’re trying to break free from covert narcissistic abuse and protect your emotional energy, this episode is for you. Tune in now and learn how to outsmart the manipulation—without losing your peace.

    23/03/2025

    •
    24 min
  • Divorcing a Covert Narcissist: Is a Healthy Split Possible?

    21/03/2025

    7

    Divorcing a Covert Narcissist: Is a Healthy Split Possible?

    Is a peaceful divorce possible when dealing with a covert narcissist? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with high-conflict divorce coach Eleanor Marks to unpack the complexities of separation from a covert narcissist. We dive into the concept of radical acceptance—understanding the reality of your situation and adjusting your expectations accordingly. If you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or struggling to co-parent with a covert narcissist, this conversation will provide clarity, validation, and practical steps to regain your power. 🔹 Can a divorce ever be “healthy” with a covert narcissist? 🔹 How radical acceptance can shift your approach 🔹 Strategies to protect yourself emotionally and legally Your freedom starts with knowledge—tune in now! I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

    21/03/2025

    •
    23 min
  • Reactive Abuse: When Survivors Get Blamed for Their Pain

    16/03/2025

    8

    Reactive Abuse: When Survivors Get Blamed for Their Pain

    Imagine being pushed, prodded, and ignored—until you finally snap. Then suddenly, you’re the problem. Sound familiar? In this episode, we’re diving deep into reactive abuse—one of the most insidious tactics covert narcissists use to flip the script and make survivors question their reality. I’ll share real-life stories—both from childhood and marriage—illustrating how this pattern plays out, how narcissists provoke reactions only to play the victim, and why your reaction does not make you the abuser. If you’ve ever been told, “Wow, you’re the crazy one,” or “You really have anger issues,” after finally standing up for yourself—this episode is for you. Let’s dismantle the shame and reclaim your truth. You are not alone. Your reactions don’t define you. And you deserve to heal. Subscribe now and don’t miss next week’s deep dive on the Grey Rock method!   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? Are you searching for people who get it? Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

    16/03/2025

    •
    24 min
  • When They Won’t Let You Walk Away—Breaking Free from Circular Conversations

    09/03/2025

    9

    When They Won’t Let You Walk Away—Breaking Free from Circular Conversations

    In this episode, Renee Swanson discusses the challenges of dealing with circular conversations with covert narcissists. She explains how these conversations can trap individuals in a cycle of emotional manipulation and coercive control. Renee provides strategies for disengaging from these conversations, setting boundaries, and reclaiming personal space and power. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics and encourages listeners to seek help and support for their healing journey. Takeaways You deserve to be heard and have space. Covert narcissists use circular conversations to manipulate. Resolution is not the goal for covert narcissists. Stopping a circular conversation requires awareness and boundaries. The gray rock method can backfire with narcissists. Use neutral but not cold responses to avoid escalation. Blocking your exit is a form of coercive control. You have the right to feel safe in your own home. Documenting your experiences can help in seeking support. Use calm times to strategize and find resources. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Circular Conversations with Covert Narcissists 04:12 The Manipulative Nature of Covert Narcissism 10:56 Recognizing Coercive Control and Setting Boundaries 16:19 Taking Action: Documenting and Seeking Help   #CovertNarcissism #EmotionalAbuse #BreakingFree #ToxicRelationships #HealingJourney Keywords   covert narcissism, circular conversations, emotional manipulation, coercive control, relationship advice, self-protection, boundaries, healing, emotional health, narcissistic abuse

    09/03/2025

    •
    22 min
  • Are You Nicer to Strangers Than Your Partner ft. DeWanda Wise

    11 MAR

    10

    Are You Nicer to Strangers Than Your Partner ft. DeWanda Wise

    Thank you to Evvy for sponsoring today’s video! Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp and use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 to get 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). ________________________ In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with actor DeWanda Wise to talk about what makes her marriage to actor Alano Miller genuinely healthy, not perfect, not performative, but well-matched. DeWanda and Alano have been married since 2009 after dating for only three months. Now more than 15 years in, they frequently appear together at industry events and continue to build a partnership rooted in intentionality rather than assumption. Alano Miller, known for his roles in Underground and Jane the Virgin, shares a dynamic with DeWanda that is grounded in accountability and mutual respect. One of the most impactful amendments in their marriage came from Christian counseling: don’t treat strangers better than you treat me. They hold each other accountable to extend the same kindness, patience, and curiosity at home that they offer the outside world. When one of them falls short, the response is not immediate condemnation but curiosity and course correction. We explore the delicate balance between accepting your partner and enabling harmful patterns, and what it truly means to be well-suited to love someone as they are. DeWanda challenges the idea that being “too much” is always a flaw, suggesting instead that compatibility determines whether intensity feels overwhelming or perfectly matched. We also draw parallels to parenting, where the tension between letting someone be themselves and shaping them into who we think they should become is ever-present. This conversation ultimately centers on discernment, kindness, and the courage to build a relationship where both partners feel deeply seen and responsibly loved. This episode also features a clip of my upcoming interview with legendary relationship therapists John and Julie Gottman! You can preview this episode inside the LOVERS community only Thanks to our sponsor of this episode Evvy Find out what’s happening with your vaginal health so you can build a care guide based on knowledge vs guess work!Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 for 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). Follow DeWanda Wise  → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dewandawise/→ Keep up with her movies and TV appearances: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1986622/Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    11 Mar

    •
    53 min

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