A friend said something to me a few months ago (while I was complaining) that stopped me in my tracks: “Everyone wants a village — but nobody wants to be a villager.” And once I heard it, I couldn’t un-know it. So many of us (AKA, me!) say we want deeper friendships, stronger community, people who show up for us… yet we’re participating in a culture that prioritizes convenience, hyper-independence, comfort, and productivity over closeness. We’ve optimized ourselves out of connection. We interact with services, not people. We protect our peace so hard, we don’t even consider the needs of others. We complain about loneliness and how hard it is to make friends as adults, but most people opt out of the effort and inconvenience that comes with community and togetherness. So today, we’re unpacking the loneliness epidemic, the friendship recession, and what modern society is getting wrong about community-building. Most importantly, we cover how to actually be a villager, even when you’re busy, burnt out, uncomfortable, or socially awkward. We weren’t meant to do life alone. And the village you’re looking for might start with you. If you’ve been craving deeper friendships, more support and belonging, and being a part of something bigger than yourself, this episode is your reminder that community is built through effort, presence, generosity, and a willingness to be inconvenienced for the sake of care and connection. Tune in to hear: What it really means to “be a villager” (and why closeness comes at a cost)The role convenience culture plays in loneliness and isolationThe mental and physical health benefits of strong social tiesWhy self-care is overrated, because healing isn’t a solo sportHow to start building your village through consistent micro-connectionsReciprocity, generosity, and why community is about equity, not equalitySaying yes more, and becoming a supportive attendeeHow to avoid social burnout and people-pleasingHow to show up as a village leader (the art of hosting and building what doesn’t exist)Taking social risks and dealing with rejectionLetting yourself show up imperfectly — messy house, bad mood, and all Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter: teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram: @teachmehowtoadultmedia @gillian.berner Follow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadult Subscribe on YouTube
