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14 de set.

What Percent Gay Are You?

Check out Hoop and Huddle, YMH Studios' new comedy sports show, hosted by comedians Luke Touma & Nate Marshall. Two friends talking basketball, football, and whatever ruined their weekend. Less "analysts breaks down the tape," more "your boys yelling at the TV." https://www.youtube.com/@UCdaQbXFKAuvKcZcwieo8A6A SPONSORS: Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! The DraftKings Sports app is now live in all 50 states! Head to https://dkng.co/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Welcome back to the cave! Hunter Biden says he's 48% gay, which raises the only question that matters: what percent are you? Bert and Tom build the math from zero, clothes, dicks, physiques, saunas, eye patches, a $5,000 face laser, and Bert climbs a lot higher than he expected to. Along the way: why Bert can't watch Sophie Cunningham highlights, the uncomfortable truth about loving Jason Williams, John Stockton's total lack of pizzazz, the hunt for a white DB in the NFL, Bert calling his dad mid-episode to check the family for slave owners (Tom's family does not come out clean), Bert's sister telling him to grow up about his sleep anxiety, Ila volunteering to fight Tom's ten-year-old in the Octagon, the 2:30am Dodger Stadium aftermath, a device that grades your poop, and Bert's full-throated defense of the Philadelphia Eagles' male cheerleader. Plus: this week's Mountain Dew summer sizzle submissions, including one that requires $2.6 million of CGI and one that just shuts Bert up. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 339 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com In Partnership with DraftKings. The Crown Is Yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get $50 in Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year, issued every 7 days via click to claim for 21 days. 1 non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends July 19th. Terms at https://dkng.co/audio. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Hunter Biden Says He's 48% Gay 00:06:23 - Clip Farms, Sophie Cunningham, & Jason Williams 00:15:32 - John Stockton, White Boxers & Tim Dwight 00:29:23 - California's Slavery Bill & Bert Calls His Dad 00:34:41 - The Girlfriend, The Sister, & The Fight Challenge 00:42:34 - The Dodgers Game Aftermath & A Whoop For Your Toilet 00:46:11 - Male Cheerleaders, Female Urologists, & Checking Out Men 00:52:38 - Hiding From Lightning With A Grindr Meetup 00:59:05 - Comedian OnlyFans & Ohtani's $17 Million Translator 01:05:44 - Mountain Dew Summer Sizzle Submissions 01:11:34 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
9 de set.

Cool Guys, Slick Guys, Neat Guys w/Caitlin Peluffo

See Caitlin on tour by going to https://www.caitlinpeluffo.com for tickets and check out her special Prosciutto Rose on YouTube SPONSORS: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code MOM spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code YMH. https://bluechew.com Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/ymh Tom's holding down the Mommy Dome this week with comedian Caitlin Peluffo, fresh off the Funny AF finals and out on the road with a brand new hour. She explains why a comedy competition full of fifteen-year veterans hit harder than any late night set, why stand up is infinitely harder than making a movie, and how the whole thing got her out of debt. Then Tom finds out she's single and decides to fix it, spending the rest of the episode presenting her with some eligible bachelors pulled straight from the cool guy pile: a man doing bathroom talk about Pepsi, a suitor who will beat up anyone who interrupts a conversation with a laptop, a Vancouver man out of smokes, an apple pie enthusiast, a flat earther explaining how GPS works, and a devoted gentleman leaving Julia good morning voicemails. Along the way Caitlin admits she bit a wart off her own finger, Tom delivers a passionate PSA about going into credit card debt for teeth and getting your skin tags removed for the rest of us, and the two of them dissect M. Night Shyamalan's cringe YouTube launch on his sad little bench and how it's not that dissimilar from the all-time original, Garth Brooks joining Facebook. Plus: Horrible or Hilarious with an old man scooting into a pool, a lightning strike survivor apologizing on a stranger's porch, and an arm snapping in a pub. We also get a long overdue cool guy update on Tony Johns, who is making history from the Cayuga County jailhouse. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 876 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as $50 click-to-claims every seven days for 21 days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:15 - Caitlin Peluffo Killed At The Funny AF Finals 00:08:56 - Opening Clip: Why Do You Feel Better On A Friday? 00:14:46 - Go Into Debt For Teeth & A Skin Tag PSA 00:21:41 - Wild Girls: The Double Felony Hit And Run 00:27:24 - More Cool Suitors 00:31:43 - Bengals, 49ers & Josh Allen's Wholesome Smile 00:35:36 - M. Night Shyamalan Joins YouTube 00:43:47 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:55:53 - Horse On Desk & GPS Guy 00:59:39 - Oh I'll Make Ya Come 01:01:36 - Looking For Girls 01:02:35 - Unk Shine 01:04:52 - Good Morning Julia 01:07:18 - A Message From Tony Johns 01:10:24 - Caitlin Picks A Suitor 01:14:24 - Wrap Up 01:15:09 - Closing Song - "Good Morning Julia" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
há 5 dias

They're Deleting The Middle Class

Check out Hoop and Huddle, YMH Studios' new comedy sports show, hosted by comedians Luke Touma & Nate Marshall. Two friends talking basketball, football, and whatever ruined their weekend. Less "analysts breaks down the tape," more "your boys yelling at the TV." https://www.youtube.com/@HoopandHuddle SPONSORS: If you or someone you know experienced serious mental health struggles as a result of social media use, you may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. Visit https://morganmorganpa.sjv.io/c/7729588/3841482/23429?sharedid=vile-horrendous to submit a claim now. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code VILE spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Welcome back to Vile And Horrendous. This week, the PSA segment has a new dimension, from now on we're rendering a verdict: good advice or bad advice? Today's subject tells you that you are perfect, you should never ask for permission, and it's never too late to dream. My verdict is bad advice across the board, and I will explain why "never ask for permission" is specifically the defense Diddy and Weinstein should have used. I just got back from two weeks in Saint Louis shooting a movie, and I need to say something: the people there are incredible. Mannerly, warm, courteous, hell a man even stopped his truck at a green light just to wave me across the street. We Salute You, Saint Louis. That said, there were two women, not Saint Louis residents, hotel guests from elsewhere, I want to be clear, who nearly broke me. The first one said nothing when I said hello in the elevator. Nothing. Not a nod, not a smile. Just stared at me. I see this constantly in Austin and I am done with it. The second incident involves me being turned away from the hotel lobby in my socks, only to watch a dog walk through on its bare disgusting paws thirty seconds later. And then the dog's owner had the nerve to give me a condescending "uh, yeah" in the elevator. She is banned from elevators for life. Her husband gets a half-life ban because at least he reached forward and pressed the button himself.Then What A World, and it's a big one. A man stood in front of the LA city council and proposed publicly funded sexual relief clinics for the homeless. One person clapped and it wasn't me. But, I have a theory about why nobody's proposing the obvious solution, and it has to do with who benefits from keeping the homeless exactly where they are. Both parties are involved. The middle class is the target. I'll explain. Vile & Horrendous Ep. 20 Here's my other places: Tour dates: https://www.joederosa.com/calendar IG: https://www.instagram.com/joederosacomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@joederosacomedian All of the things: https://www.joederosa.com/ YMH: https://www.instagram.com/ymhstudios Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY RESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as $50 click-to-claims every seven days for twenty-one days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:48 - Is This Good Advice Or Bad Advice? 00:07:06 - The Rudest Woman In St. Louis 00:15:00 - Neighbors Used To Be Neighborly 00:17:02 - My Socks Are Dirtier Than A Dog 00:19:56 - Press Your Own Elevator Button 00:27:10 - Whatta World: Homeless Sex Huts In LA 00:31:41 - They Want The Middle Class Gone 00:36:26 - See Joe Live 00:37:40 - White Wimenz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
7 de set.

Jelly Roll Called The President A Fat Pig

SPONSORS: Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com Visit https://ethos.com/BEARS Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/bears Sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with Acorns. New customers get a $20 bonus investment just for signing up. Head to https://acorns.com/bears to claim your $20 bonus today. Limited time offer. Terms and conditions apply. See https://acorns.com/terms for details. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Welcome back to 2 Bears 1 Cave! This week Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer dive right in with Jelly Roll's headline-grabbing Kimmel monologue where he addressed the president as "from one fat pig to another." Bert then takes full credit for Jelly Roll's weight loss and the entire genesis of the Two Bears 5K, because technically he was in the room when that casually became a thing. They also have exciting news, a new 5K is coming in April and it's going to be bigger than ever. From there, Bert opens up about the panic attacks he's been having, severe, physical, and rooted in something he now understands: a complete lack of childhood bedtime structure. Tom grew up getting nightly Catholic prayers, a sign of the cross from mom, and the full rosary in the car for any trip over ten minutes. Bert grew up watching Letterman alone at nine years old at 3am while his dad slept off a ten mile run. The bears compare notes on childhood bedtime routines, how they each put their own kids down now, and what sleep anxiety looks like when it hits a grown adult, including Bert's most recent 36-hour panic attack that started when a friend told him he yawns too much and he forgot how to do it. He couldn't yawn for a day and a half. He finally yawned in couples therapy. That's where we are. They also get into Mel Gibson getting lightly canceled for mocking a sign language interpreter (on the scale of Mel Gibson incidents, this doesn't even register), a game of complimenting Salma Hayek on the one thing she's never heard in her 60 years on earth, Tom Hardy's new rap album, Jonah Hill's white belt jiu jitsu bravado and whether he'd actually beat Jason Bateman's ass, the Eddie Bravo black eye that made Bert walk out of a jiu jitsu class without ever taking his jeans off, and the Times Square Stabber whose fat padding made every taser completely ineffective and whose stabbing motion made this incident appear beyond ridiculous at first. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 338 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as Fifty dollar click-to-claims every seven days for twenty-one days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:18 - Jelly Roll Called Trump A Fat Pig on Kimmel 00:15:49 - Mel Gibson's Sign Language Incident & Cancel Culture 00:22:32 - Childhood Bedtimes & Panic Attacks 00:33:38 - Putting Kids to Bed & Bert's Sleep Anxiety Deep Dive 00:41:44 - Bert Forgot How to Yawn and Had a 36-Hour Panic Attack 00:51:25 - Salma Hayek At 60 00:55:47 - Tom Hardy's Album, Shapeshifters & Jonah Hill's White Belt Energy 01:05:56 - The Times Square Waddling Stabber Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 de jul.

Creditmaxxing A Decade Of Debt w/ Caleb Hammer

Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com. Go to https://quince.com/mom for free shipping and 365-day returns Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. Sup, chomos! This week, Caleb Hammer, host of Financial Audit joins the Mommy Dome to talk money, mayhem, and the chaos of his own show. Caleb grew up broke and clawed his way out of massive debt, all while interviewing some of the internet's most financially unhinged people on Financial Audit. The conversation covers the actual hard math behind why most Americans can't survive an $800 rent payment, the case for buying a house even when renting is cheaper, and how nearly 40 states now require a personal finance class in high school, which means "nobody told me" will officially stop working as an excuse. Caleb also breaks down the wildest things his guests have said on camera, including unprompted racism, casual tax evasion confessions, and one woman who's never filed a return in her life with zero consequences. They also run through Horrible or Hilarious clips, debate whether financial domination clients just need to "drop the N-word" more, and dive deep into Mike Fedele, the only tax man offering both IRS advice and detailed sexual positioning tips in the same breath. Caleb also opens up about a serious flying phobia that led him to charter a tiny private jet just to feel in control, and gets talked into a future helicopter ride by Tom. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 866 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:26 - Delusions, Maxed Credit Cards, & Decades of Debt 00:05:14 - Building Financial Audit From Scratch 00:17:28 - Opening Clip: Hey Retard 00:18:53 - The "Blackie" Cruise Couple & Hard R Drops 00:27:35 - YMH Staff Financial Questions & Confessions 00:34:16 - 50/30/20 Budgeting, Diverse Portfolios, & Success Stories 00:41:37 - Mike The Tax Guy 00:46:37 - Cool Sales Pitches 00:47:58 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:50:17 - General Advice & Fear Of Flying 00:56:26 - Clip: Leaky Rump 00:57:32 - Clip: Fancy Chef Wants To Meet The Mayor 00:59:11 - Austin Property Taxes & Niagara Falls 01:03:51 - More YMH Staff Confessions 01:08:41 - Food Stamps, Roommates & The Best Head Debate 01:15:51 - Closing Song - "Brass Tax" by The Onibaka Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
10 de set.

Texas Hold'em Ruined Poker

SPONSORS:-New DraftKings customers, sign up with code VILE spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Welcome back to Vile And Horrendous. We open with a PSA from a motivational leader who informed his team that there are three U's in shut the fuck up. I don't fully understand it but I support it and I want it on a t-shirt. From there, I need to address my avocado salad. I posted it on Instagram, just a nice refreshing lunch, a little slow motion, very innocent, and the comments were a war crime. I'm going to read them to you and respond to each person individually. "Looks like hobo shit" is the one that really got me. Then You're Wrong, and today's theme is: one sliver of a thing taking over the entire thing. Two examples. First, poker — specifically the fact that nobody on this earth will play any version of poker other than Texas Hold'em, and it's all Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo's fault. I want five card draw back. I want seven card stud back. And while we're at it, I want a craps show. Second, overly acidic coffee. Every independent coffee shop in America is now serving something that tastes like it came out of a xenomorph. I have been forced to go to Starbucks. This is who we are now. Then Flight Log, and it's a big one. I was looking up Austin to New York flights and the prices are genuinely obscene. But more importantly, I found out why your carry-on isn't fitting on the plane anymore. It turns out an obscene amount of the belly hold space on commercial passenger flights in 2026 is being used for cargo, not your bags. On one Delta flight, cargo revenue was $254,000, almost 40% of the total revenue for that flight. The passengers are officially the loss leaders. We are being phased out. I keep telling you. Vile & Horrendous Ep. 19 Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY RESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every 7 days via click to claim for 21 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer . Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:00:53 - PSA: There Are Three You's In Shut Up00:02:19 - The Avocado Salad Massacre00:10:31 - You're Wrong: Texas Hold'em Ate Poker00:25:04 - Flight Log: An Arm & Leg To Fly To New York00:30:30 - Passengers Are The Loss Leader00:36:45 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
5 de ago.

People Changes w/ Duncan Trussell

I want to talk about divorce. Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome with Duncan Trussell for the heaviest episode in show history, the divorce episode. Christina addresses it head-on: yes, she and Tom are divorcing after 20 years, no, you don't need to pick teams, and yes, Mommy is ripping darts, drinking wine, and surviving on one Domino's thin crust a day. From there she and Duncan spiral through cancer, TMZ breaking the story while she was in a London pub with Ari Shaffir, and Duncan's own jaw-dropping family divorce story involving a priest and a jammed shotgun. Then they unpack the International Dick Alert and open some DMs: the guy sending "hey" with one extra Y each time, a Puerto Rican gentleman with a generous offer, the PetSmart employee confusing ferrets and flashlights, aquarium romantic Yung Tang Tang, a Brit promising to beat her vaginal fluid into firm egg whites, and a poly couple charging a $250,000 application fee. A suitor hotline is also officially in the works. They also hit Burning Man hygiene, spray tan confessions, and a trip down memory lane through an 80s divorce boom including latchkey summers, dads' apartment complexes, frozen hot dogs, dancing with sailors at the Beef and Barrel, and the porn tapes that raised them. Too late for you, too late for the lamb. Your Mom’s House Ep. 871 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Emotional Intro00:04:55 - Opening Clip: Bobby Lee Swoops In00:13:52 - The TMZ International Dick Alert00:19:31 - The Shadow Of Divorce Trauma00:30:05 - Duncan's Parents, the Priest & the Shotgun00:42:38 - What's Real: Grief, Friends & Love00:59:07 - Single Gal Questions, Horny Hotline, & Reading DM's01:15:48 - Pet Smart Ferret Guy & More Suitors01:39:06 - Christina's Curations02:03:10 - Self Pleasure In Spray Tan Booth02:07:11 - Old School Porn At Dad's Place02:17:57 - Latchkey Kids02:27:37 - Trauma Bonding02:33:51 - Final Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
10/12/2025

Is It Gay To Drink Matcha?

SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Mens at https://SKIMS.com. #skimspartner - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P are firing on all cylinders as chaos reigns from start to finish. Christine boldly reclaims her glasses identity (sparking a surprisingly heated household debate), questionable gift choices come under scrutiny, and the internet once again proves it was the greatest mistake. From rage-filled rants about fake followers and bots, to disturbingly confident accountants, fetish podcasters breaking down their very specific preferences, and viral videos featuring hornets, skateboarding trauma, and shower-time courting rituals, this episode will make you cry m, my baby! Tim and Christine also check out more content from their new favorite survivalist, chime in on a Italian man's scam with his dead mother, and go off about people walking among us who aren't as sane as they seem. Add in fart economics, tactical vests for children, holiday gifting advice, and a deep dive into what really makes something “gay,” and you’ve got a classic YMH rollercoaster. Buckle up, Mommy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 839 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Opening Clip: Fireside Chat 00:07:19 - Clowning Around A Pazsitzky Effect 00:17:00 - Prepared Not Paranoid 00:28:40 - Lipstick Plug 00:30:16 - Bitches Love A Strong Jawline 00:34:39 - Clip: Fart Fetish Confession 00:39:20 - Clip: Domino's Fart Pizza 00:43:18 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:34 - MMA Domination 00:51:43 - Hitler Won An Election 00:58:19 - Italian Mom Scam + Plain Clothes Psycho 01:05:38 - Meghan Markle's Salmonella Thanksgiving 01:08:35 - Crack Is Whack 01:14:40 - A Really Cool Story 01:19:38 - TikToks 01:33:49 - Closing Song - "SooWoo" by Josh Del Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24 de ago.

Stavvy Called Us Out

SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com! Start your free trial at https://SHOPIFY.COM/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears for your free online visit. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. https://babbel.com/BEARS for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer celebrate Bert officially entering the Guinness Book of World Records for The Machine, possibly the most performed signature story in comedy history, and immediately spiral into the comedy record arms race: Shane Gillis' 77,000-person show, Nate Bargatze's 2 million tickets, the Dane Cook vs. Dave Chappelle longest-set war, and Bert's plan to lock 75,000 paid "hostages" inside Raymond James Stadium and perform for ten straight hours. Then the Bears respond to Stavros Halkias calling out comics who fly private, and explain why he's absolutely right: nobody gets funnier on a private jet. From there, Bert declares Busboys, the new Theo Von and David Spade movie, the greatest piece of art he's ever seen, and Tom finally watches The Odyssey, only for Bert to officially turn on it over the Travis Scott cameo. Plus: Gaddafi's all-female Amazonian Guard, plane-crash hypotheticals, Chimp Empire is the best reality show ever made, Mick Jagger on fame, and why the Bears are grateful they got famous late. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 336 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:18 - Comedians Getting Guinness Records 00:07:24 - The Attendance Record Arms Race 00:18:09 - Stavvy Says Private Jets Don't Make You Funnier 00:24:25 - Lunch Pail Phonies & Staying Honest 00:35:39 - Busboys Is A Secret Masterpiece 00:41:55 - Tom Finally Saw The Odyssey 01:03:45 - Por Osos At Frenchies & MacDill 01:07:29 - The Sexiest Military & Plane Crash Hypotheticals 01:12:08 - Chimp Empire 01:15:26 - Leanne's Birthday & The Black Crowes 01:20:28 - Mick Jagger On Fame 01:24:18 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
22 de jul.

Airtight Poker Night w/ Steph Tolev

Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates SPONSORS: For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/YMH That's https://hims.com/YMH for your free online visit. Head to https://factormeals.com/ymh50off and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details). Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/YMH. Sup, chomos! This week, Tom Segura holds down the Mommy Dome with Steph Tolev, host of Steph Infection, produced right here at YMH Studios, and the proud owner of a brand new American citizenship. They open with a man being lowered off a New York City bus screaming "fuck your family," which spirals into roid-rage belchers on airplanes and a "NOT GUILTY!" TikTok attorney whose very satisfied client was charged with luring a minor into his vehicle. Then a listener letter from a self-described 30-year slut recounts the guys' card night that went airtight, and Tom and Steph break down the hygiene logistics nobody at that poker table considered. From there, Tom explains how a chance run-in with his old helicopter instructor ended his flying lessons for good, and Steph talks about her white fuzzy dog, and her daily walking schedule. Along the way they get into Pastor Manning's problem with blacks, a Thailand massage confession, plus Tom and Steph's combined résumé of ugly castings: Steph booking Skittles' "Ugly Princess," not fitting into the Spanx at a Bud Light fitting, and Tom's thumbs landing a Sony commercial. Plus: a homeless man shoots his shot, a man with a solid wall of 45 identical teeth, Steph's fiancé Jefferson s***s the couch, the Tickle Monster nearly gets an old man killed, and Bulgaria fails to qualify for the World Cup. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 869 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:00 - 2 Bears 5K, B*****b Knees, & Big Noses 00:09:25 - Opening Clip: Disabled Traffic Jam 00:13:16 - Not Guilty! The Pervert's Attorney 00:18:39 - Airtight Poker Night 00:23:37 - Helicopter Crashes 00:32:14 - Pastor Manning 00:37:04 - Spa & Casting Stories 00:45:58 - Kinky Unc 00:50:21 - Great Wall Of Teeth 00:53:26 - Elevator Fart Prank 00:55:54 - Sabertooth Singles & Monster Mouth 01:00:49 - Public Pranks 01:07:39 - Closing Song - "Planes Trains and Dad Boners" by Jayzeus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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