ManTalks Podcast Connor Beaton

Talking points: transitioning, parents, resistance

Sometimes in life, we feel stuck, and that can happen even after you've done "the work" and developed a deeper understanding of how your past shaped your present. My anon guest this week (like many of us) has trouble feeling feelings. Together, we dig a little into where that comes from and why.

(00:00:00) - Intro and what it was like growing up
(00:09:23) - “It’s hard for me to feel the hurt”
(00:14:21) - What transitioning was like, and how we can honor both our parents and ourselves
(00:23:55) - Connecting with grief
(00:32:25) - It’s sometimes more about claiming what it was we wanted

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Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: truth, social media, relationships, men, culture

Phew! Mark and I covered about a million things this episode, but that's what happens when you've been friends for over a decade. There's an overarching theme though: getting caught up in narratives, and how that actually fractures our ability to stay relational and kind to people. Dig in for this very wide-ranging conversation.

Editor's note: while Adderall (dextroamphetamine) has some molecular similarity with methamphetamine, they are not the same. The attached methyl group—the "meth" part—lets the compound cross the blood-brain barrier very easily, last longer, and amps up how addictive it is. The "dextro" means the compound is arranged in a specific way so much lower doses can be used.

(00:00:00) - Why men a seen as the problem in our current society, and how social media plays into that narrative
(00:14:42) - Balancing our perception of what men and women each bring to the table
(00:27:59) - How Mark approaches charged topics and binary thinking
(00:43:07) - Dehumanizing is easier thanks to social media, and how to stay relational
(00:58:06) - Acknowledging complexity, and intersubjective reality

Mark Groves is the founder of Create The Love. His own rock bottom – a relationship ending – sparked his lifelong journey to turn his mess into his message. Today, Mark is a human connection specialist, speaker, writer, motivator, creator, connector and collaborator. All. The. Things. As a bridge between the academic and the human, Mark invites people to explore the good, bad, downright ugly, and beautiful sides of connection.

Connect with Mark
-New book: Liberated Love: https://markgroves.com/elementor-landing-page-1696/
-Website: https://markgroves.com/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove/

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This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate, whether you’re looking for one or not. Visit BetterHelp.com/ManTalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: mindset, social media, sex

Out of everything I've done, this is one of the simplest and most effective. To be clear, it's not about going abstinence-only or becoming a prude. It's about freeing mental bandwidth and take, taking ownership of my desires, and creating direction in my life. Dig in.

(00:00:00) - Intro, and why this isn’t about being a prude
(00:02:14) - The DBC: Digital Brain Cleanse. Step one, content
(00:06:17) - Step two: contacts
(00:08:06) - Last step: consciousness

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Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: trauma

This was an honor. The word trauma gets thrown around a lot these days, so it's important to get back to basics and really sink into what's going on and why. After all, this is humanity we're talking about, and we're nothing if not complex. Peter is a legend in therapy circles for his groundbreaking work in somatic education and trauma work, so we dug into many of the different (and unusual) things something like trauma brings to the table. Both Peter and I encourage you to listen WITH someone!

(00:00:00) - Peter’s definition of trauma and how it affects the body
(00:07:27) - Peter demonstrates a somatic exercise to help release trauma
(00:13:14) - Do men and women experience and handle trauma differently?
(00:21:40) - On how trauma needs witnessing to heal, and Peter’s experience with active imagination 
(00:34:14) - Navigating the almost mystical side of healing
(00:39:45) - Why the tiger?
(00:43:27) - How can men work in a healthy way with anger, and how betrayal can impact how someone expresses themselves
(00:49:08) - The main tool to help process trauma

Peter A Levine, Ph.D., is the developer of Somatic Experiencing®, a naturalistic and neurobiological approach to healing trauma, which he has developed over the past 50 years. He holds a doctorate in Biophysics from UC Berkeley and a doctorate in Psychology from International University. He is the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education, dedicated to Community Outreach and Post-Advanced Somatic Experiencing® Training, and the Founder and Advisor for Somatic Experiencing International. He has taught at the University of California, Berkeley; Mills College; Antioch University; the California Institute of Integral Studies; and the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. His work has been taught to over 30,000 therapists in over 42 countries.
Dr. Levine is the author of several best-selling books on trauma, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma (published in over 29 languages); In an Unspoken Voice, How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness; and Trauma and Memory, Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past.

Connect with Peter
-Website: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/
-New book: An Autobiography of Trauma: https://books.innertraditions.com/autobiography-of-trauma/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drpeteralevine/
-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/peteralevinephd/

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This episode is brought to you by Henson Shaving. Genuinely love these guys and their product because they've made my shaving experience actually enjoyable! Go to https://hensonshaving.com/mantalks to get two years worth of free blades with your new razor.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: mindset, relationships, sex, culture

Mildly spicy title, serious thoughts within. All joking aside, there are a number of things that most of us men do that undercut or diminish our sense of inner leadership, authority, and trust. These are the top 10 that I've seen in my work and in myself.

(00:00:00) - Intro
(00:02:28) - Stop making excuses for not working out regularly, and stop giving women free attention on social media
(00:09:46) - Stop comparing yourself to other men
(00:15:41) - Cut back on time wasters, or let go completely
(00:19:07) - Learn how to stop pursuing short-term gratification, and kill the lottery mindset
(00:24:17) - Stop believing you’re fundamentally broken
(00:29:38) - Stop thinking you need to do it alone, and stop thinking that peace comes after some monumental achievement

***
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate, whether you’re looking for one or not. Visit BetterHelp.com/ManTalks today to get 10% off your first month.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: relationships, sex

I've worked with a LOT of men and a TON of couples in relationships, situation-ships, and what have you. When it comes to what YOU as a man can do to craft a thriving partnership, there are 3 sort of "rules" that have come up again and again. They're also what changed the game for me and led to the wildly wonderful marriage I have now. Listen in.

(00:00:00) - Intro and rule #1: stop worshipping sex
(00:05:24) - Develop the self-esteem and willingness to walk away
(00:09:08) - Get into the right place in your life, THEN find a woman

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Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices