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2025-05-15
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27 août

Worth Repeating: Why Some People Go Zero to Sixty with Anger (And Others Don't)

One of our favorite deep dives, revisited: why do some people go from calm to enraged in seconds flat, while others barely flinch? Bill and Megan dig into the science — and it might change how you think about jogging off your anger. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, dive deep into the complex relationship between anger and high conflict personalities. This illuminating episode explores why some people experience instant rage while others maintain better emotional control, particularly in challenging interpersonal situations. The Science Behind Anger ManagementRecent research from Ohio State University challenges common beliefs about anger management techniques. Contrary to popular advice, activities like venting or intense physical exercise may not effectively reduce anger. Instead, the key lies in lowering physiological arousal through specific calming techniques. Bill and Megan explore these findings while discussing the brain's role in emotional regulation, particularly focusing on the relationship between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Different Personalities, Different Anger PatternsThe episode provides valuable insights into how various personality types experience and express anger differently. Bill explains how people with different personality traits may process and display anger in distinct ways, from calculated responses to uncontrolled emotional outbursts. This understanding is crucial for developing effective interaction strategies. Connection and Anger ManagementBill and Megan discuss the surprising effectiveness of human connection in managing anger. Whether through eye contact, using someone's name, or engaging in group activities, the power of connection emerges as a key factor in de-escalating high conflict situations. Questions we answer in this episode: Why do some people go from calm to enraged so quickly?How do different personality types experience and express anger?What anger management techniques actually work?How does early childhood development affect adult anger patterns?What role does human connection play in managing anger?Key Takeaways: Not all traditional anger management techniques are effectiveDifferent personality types express anger in distinct waysHuman connection can be a powerful tool for de-escalating angerEarly childhood experiences significantly impact adult anger patternsUnderstanding anger triggers is crucial for better managementThis episode provides essential insights for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities or seeking to better understand anger management. Through research-backed discussion and practical examples, Bill and Megan offer valuable strategies for managing anger in both personal and professional contexts. Links & Other Notes: BOOKS Our New World of Adult BulliesThe Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human EmotionsARTICLES A meta-analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage?Breathe, don't vent: Turning down the heat is key to managing angerOUR NEWSLETTER Get our updates.SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS Invite us to speak.OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:42) - Catching Up (02:48) - Anger and Ways to Get Rid of It (06:16) - HCP Types and Anger (11:28) - Conscious vs. Unconscious (12:38) - Anger and the Brain (17:24) - Learning Self Restraint (18:59) - Study Highlights (20:27) - Difficult for HCPs (22:14) - More Research (30:03) - Archaelogy of the Mind (37:46) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Being Assertive
13 août

Worth Repeating: A Retired Judge's Playbook for Family Court Success

In this classic episode from the archives, Bill and Megan sit down with retired Judge Bruce R. Cohen, who spent 24 years as a family law attorney and nearly 20 years on the bench in Arizona's Superior Court, for a rare look at family court from both sides. Judge Cohen pulls back the curtain on how judges actually weigh a case, why the old assumptions about gender bias no longer hold up, and what separates a parent who gets heard from one who doesn't. Judge Cohen unpacks how the "best interests of the child" standard actually gets applied in the courtroom, sharing personal stories — including the memorable "Bonnie story" — that show how presence and genuine humanity shape better outcomes for families. The conversation turns practical: rather than laying out a chronological case history or trying to prove who's "right," Judge Cohen explains that success in family court comes down to demonstrating your ability to meet your children's needs. Bill and Megan dig into how understanding your jurisdiction's specific factors — and letting go of assumptions about judicial bias — can make or break a case. Judicial Insights Addressed: How judges actually determine a child's best interestsWhy gender bias in family court looks different today than it used toWhat separates a "high conflict" case from a routine oneHow jurisdiction-specific factors shape a judge's decisionsCourtroom Strategies That Work: Focus on your children's needs and your ability to meet them, not a blow-by-blow of the pastShow up authentically rather than playing to assumed biasKnow your jurisdiction's specific best-interest factors before you walk inCredibility grows when you acknowledge your own weaknesses, not just the other side'sAim your case at future solutions, not past grievancesDrawing on decades on both sides of the bench, Judge Cohen offers a rare, practical look at what actually works in family court — insight you won't get from most legal advice. Combined with Bill and Megan's expertise, this is a conversation worth revisiting anytime you're preparing to walk into a courtroom. Additional Resources Books & Expert Publications: Managing High Conflict People in CourtThe Future of Family CourtMeet the Judge: Judge Bruce R. Cohen (ret.) bioClasses & Consultations: New Ways for Families® online class for parentsConflict Influencer™ online group for parents or anyone1:1 Consultation with Bill Eddy/Megan HunterStay Connected: Sign up for our newsletterVisit High Conflict InstituteSubmit a question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal or therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:02) - Welcome Judge Bruce R. Cohen (Ret.) (01:29) - Judge Cohen’s Background (06:01) - Connecting (08:28) - The Bonnie Story (13:18) - Time in Court (14:20) - Bill’s Time in Court (16:59) - Communicate Simply (27:29) - Best Interest Factors (29:50) - Gender Issues (35:31) - Control What You Can Control (37:07) - Identify Needs of Child (39:22) - High Conflict Cases (43:55) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Answering Listener Questions
2023-02-23

Divorce Radio and Celebrity Divorce with Guest Ilyssa Panitz

Divorce is hard and often confusing with bits of information online, in books and other sources, which can be helpful but also confusing. Journalist and radio host Ilyssa Panitz, THE Divorce Journalist, joins Bill and Megan in this episode to discuss her divorce radio show, how it began and why it is so helpful to both people experiencing divorce first-hand and for professionals too. She also has unique insight into celebrity divorce They will discuss: Her radio show The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitzincrease of high conflict divorce during and since the pandemicwhat she’s hearing from her listenerssimilarities and differences between celebrity divorces and everyone elsethe most important things she has learned about divorce by doing the radio showLinks & Other Notes ILYSSA’S WEBSITEILYSSA’S RADIO SHOWOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:26) - Meet Ilyssa Panitz (06:40) - Ilyssa's Background (08:40) - Radio Show (12:49) - Finding Experts (15:34) - High Conflict Divorce (17:55) - Affects of Pandemic (20:38) - Listener Feedback (24:01) - Lessons Learned (27:12) - Celebrity Divorces (33:15) - Biggest Lessons Learned (36:34) - Wrapping Up (39:40) - Coming Next Week: Listener Questions
11 juin

Why Workplace Conflict Is Surging: High Conflict at Work, Part 1 of 4

Workplace conflict is costing US businesses $359 billion a year—and behind a disproportionate share of that damage is high conflict behavior: the kind that ignores limits, escalates faster than most leaders expect, and doesn't respond to the usual playbook. This is part one of a four-part series on high conflict in the workplace, with Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, Megan Hunter, MBA, and Michael Lomax, JD—lawyer, mediator, and senior speaker and trainer with the High Conflict Institute since 2011. Bill, Megan, and Michael unpack why conflict is surging right now—generational shifts, pandemic fallout, social media polarization, and AI giving people who demonstrate high conflict behavior entirely new tools—and make the case for why prevention has to come before the crisis, not after. If your organization is still treating conflict as something HR handles case by case, this episode is the place to start. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit a Question | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:29) - Why Workplace Conflict Is Rising (02:57) - Trends Driving Workplace Conflict (04:50) - Employees Changing Job Expectations (07:15) - Affects of Social Media (08:59) - Organizational Design and Friction (11:57) - Make Work About Work (14:32) - Divisive vs. Unifying Issues (17:16) - When an HCP Is Involved (20:29) - When the Organization Isn’t Aware (23:55) - Leaders Avoid Conflict (27:42) - Role Playing (29:00) - Growing Comfortable (31:25) - One Thing to Say (32:55) - Wrap Up
-6 j

You Don’t Need More Leads — You Need to Stop Losing the Patients You Already Have

Your ad budget went up again this quarter and the schedule still has holes in it. Somebody in the Monday meeting says you need more leads. Meanwhile there are people in your database who walked in once, handed over a credit card, and were never seen again, and nobody in the building can tell you how many of them there are. The Profit Queen has a different question: what are you doing with the patients you already have? The industry moved while most practices were looking the other way. Median revenue grew 19.2% in the first half while new patient growth crawled along at 1.2%, and roughly seventy percent of revenue is now coming from patients practices already paid to acquire. Leisa's read is that retention is now a financial strategy, and that most owners are sitting on more recoverable money than any campaign will bring them this year. When half your new patients never come back, the leak is in your consultations and your checkout, and more ad spend doesn't patch it. She also thinks your rebooking rate should be a number you can say out loud, and that "my girls usually do that" is not a number. This one is a working session with homework attached. Leisa lays out how to find the money already inside your practice, what to fix at the front desk before you spend another dollar acquiring anybody, and how to go get back the patients you already paid for. Listen with your team, because almost everything she assigns has to be owned by somebody other than you. Inner Circle members get the whole thing as a 30-day Retention Workbook!Not a member yet? No worries! Just head over to ScalpelOfTruth.com and sign up today! Get the full episodes in your own private, personal podcast feed all while ensuring this show continues to grow and thrive! Thank you! ScalpelOfTruth.com • Join Club Bitchacho for full episodes today!Check out our MedSpa Workshops and Trainings and schedule a discovery call today
28 mai

How to Leave a High Conflict Relationship Without Escalating

Fear of retaliation keeps many people trapped in high conflict relationships long after they know they need to leave. Emotional explosions, smear campaigns, threats involving children, financial punishment, legal warfare — the threat of what might happen when you finally say the words can feel more paralyzing than staying. The Betty Broderick case is an extreme example, but the dynamic it illustrates — unmanaged emotions, all-or-nothing thinking, and escalating revenge — shows up in milder forms in relationships every day. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, walk through what a safer, stepwise exit actually looks like — and why an abrupt in-person announcement is the most dangerous approach. They cover the biggest mistakes people make when leaving, how to document behavior and prepare for false allegations before they happen, and what courts and police actually respond to when you present your situation. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:26) - Betty Broderick Case (11:01) - Why People Are Afraid to Leave Relationships with HCPs (14:04) - Mistakes When Trying to Leave (17:06) - Creating Escalations (20:11) - When It’s Not a Marriage (21:48) - Getting Prepared (28:04) - Giving Warning (28:47) - If on the Fence (30:17) - Wrap Up
25 juin

From Reacting to Responding: High Conflict at Work, Part 3 of 4

High conflict behavior doesn't just disrupt your team—it follows leaders home, costs organizations hundreds of thousands of dollars, and gets worse when managers react without a plan. The question Part 3 of this four-part workplace series answers is the one every leader eventually faces: once you know conflict is in the room, what do you actually do? Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, are joined again by Michael Lomax, JD, lawyer, mediator, and HCI speaker and trainer. Together they walk through the BIFF response for hostile emails and verbal exchanges, EAR statements for de-escalating in the moment, the CARS method—Connect, Analyze, Respond, Set Limits—for structuring any high conflict conversation, and New Ways for Work® coaching as a measurable alternative to suspension. Whether you're managing a difficult employee, caught between HR and your team, or working under a difficult boss, these are the tools that shift the dynamic without making things worse. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:02) - Why Smart People Get Drawn Into These Conflicts (08:00) - BIFF Method (12:46) - Other Ways It’s Applied (17:20) - CARS Method (25:50) - What If It's the Boss? (29:11) - Solutions and Methods of Application (39:37) - Wrap Up
30 juill.

Worth Repeating: Parental Alienation, False Abuse Claims, and When to Stop Fighting in Family Court

One of our most-asked-about topics, revisited: two listeners write in about parental alienation and when to stop fighting in family court. Bill and Megan's answers hold up just as well today. Tackling Listener Questions on High Conflict Personalities in Family Law In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter address questions from two listeners about high conflict personalities in family law. They dive into the complexities of parental alienation, domestic violence allegations, and when to stop fighting in court. Listener Question 1: Understanding Parental Alienation and Estrangement The first listener asks about the confusion surrounding parental alienation. Bill defines key terms: "refuse and resist," parental alienation, and realistic estrangement. He explains the differences between alienation caused by one parent's behavior and estrangement resulting from a parent's own actions, such as domestic violence or child abuse. Listener Question 2: When to Stop Fighting in Court The second listener, from Australia, asks when to give up the fight with a high conflict ex-partner who continues to violate court orders. Bill and Megan address the issue of "legal abuse" and the limitations of the court system in handling these situations effectively. Questions We Answer in This Episode: What is the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement?How common are false allegations of abuse in family court?When should you stop fighting in court with a high conflict ex-partner?Key Takeaways: Consider all possibilities in each case without presumptions.Parental alienation and domestic violence both exist and require careful assessment.Fighting in court for more than two years may be counterproductive.Obtain transcripts of court hearings to address false statements or bad decisions.This episode provides valuable insights for anyone navigating high conflict personalities in family law. Bill and Megan offer a balanced perspective, emphasizing the need for an open mind and case-by-case analysis. Links & Other Notes BOOKSDon’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict DivorceThe High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival GuideCOURSESNew Ways for Families Course + Coaching for Co-ParentsConflict Influencer ClassOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:36) - Listener Questions (01:18) - Question 1: Parental Alienation (21:54) - Question 2: When to Give In (30:37) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More Listener Questions
18 juin

What HR Keeps Missing: High Conflict at Work, Part 2 of 4

High conflict at work rarely announces itself. By the time it becomes a formal HR complaint or a leadership crisis, the patterns were visible much earlier—and the tools most organizations rely on to stay fair often make things worse, not better. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, are joined by Michael Lomax, JD, HCI speaker, trainer, and attorney, for Part 2 of a four-part workplace series. They break down the WEB method for early conflict assessment—Words, Emotions, Behavior—and explain why HR's focus on neutrality and incident-by-incident handling can inadvertently protect the person driving the conflict while penalizing the target. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:48) - Assessing Workplace Conflict Early and Accurately (04:53) - Potential Costs of Getting It Wrong (09:13) - Patterns of Behavior (18:56) - Documenting Impact (20:38) - Personality Disorders (21:57) - Reactivity Drives Response (25:29) - Managing Difficult HCPs (31:02) - What to Assess First (35:30) - Wrap Up
2 juill.

From Case-by-Case to Conflict-Smart: High Conflict at Work, Part 4 of 4

High conflict behavior at work rarely stays contained to one person or one incident — it spreads across teams, drains HR's time, and quietly drives turnover and burnout long before anyone names it as a pattern. The real question for most organizations isn't how to handle the next individual case. It's whether the organization itself is actually ready to prevent, assess, and respond to conflict at all. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, close out this four-part workplace series — and the show's current season — with returning High Conflict Institute trainer Michael Lomax, JD. Together, they walk through the policies, training, and leadership role modeling it takes to move from case-by-case conflict response to a truly conflict-ready, conflict-smart, or even conflict-proof culture, including the real financial cost of leaving conflict unaddressed. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. A new season starts later this fall. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:02) - Becoming Conflict-Proof (03:14) - Becoming an Organizational Problem (12:38) - Developing New Practices (17:29) - Role Modeling (20:34) - Training (25:05) - Helping Organizations (26:19) - Is It Possible? (31:32) - Wrap Up

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