Aliveness: Technology, love, money, sex, soul, governance

Alison Crosthwait

The Aliveness Podcast explores how we live, love, and think in a changing world. Every weekday brings Session Notes from The World’s Therapist - a fictional series about the inner life of our time. Each week I share an essay and a conversation with someone else who is thoughtfully exploring how we live. Dry humour lives here. Marion Woodman coded. The problems of our time are complex. Developing the inner capacity to withstand confusion and conflict in service of connection and growth is central to our collective thriving. More than one thing can be true at once. www.alisoncrosthwait.com

  1. FEB 2

    Kelly Stonelake on Power, Child Safety, and Telling the Truth at Meta

    I am so excited to share my conversation with Kelly Stonelake! Kelly Stonelake is a business operator and technologist with nearly 15 years of experience at Meta, where she held senior roles in product marketing and organizational leadership. During her tenure, she raised concerns about child safety and internal misconduct and faced retaliation after senior leadership chose to conceal risks rather than address them. The gap between Meta’s stated values and her lived experience led to a severe loss of functioning and a fight for her life. Following her departure, Kelly became a whistleblower and advocate for stronger protections for children online, greater tech accountability, awareness of autistic burnout and suicide risk, and safer workplaces for marginalized people. Her work focuses on challenging the concentration of power in technology and advancing equity, accountability, and systemic reform. Kelly recently testified before the Washington State Senate in support of SB 5708 on addictive feeds and SB 5784 on AI companions, sharing first-hand accounts of child exposure, data collection without parental consent, and corporate retaliation against those who spoke up. Please visit Kelly Stonelake on Substack at Overturned by Kelly Stonelake . 02:16 – 10:40 | From early idealism to the inside of Facebook Kelly traces her early interests in journalism, constitutional debate, and technology, leading to nearly 15 years at Facebook. She describes the early years before the algorithmic feed, when the mission felt real and principled. She reflects on Cambridge Analytica, internal decision-making, and how loyalty, good faith, and “doing the right thing” slowly became tools for accumulating power. 10:41 – 29:24 | Horizon Worlds, retaliation, and the open secret about kids Kelly recounts her time as the only woman on the senior leadership team for Horizon Worlds. She describes discovering that children were already using the product through adult accounts, being exposed to adults without parental consent, while Meta collected vast amounts of data in violation of federal law. She speaks plainly about misogyny, silencing women, attorney-client privilege used to avoid accountability, and the moment the rollout was paused for “quality” reasons while the truth stayed buried. 29:25 – 1:02:00 | The harms parents, therapists, and social workers need to understand Kelly lays out, in clear and specific terms, the dangers children face across social platforms: • Sextortion pipelines that move from shame to suicide in hours or days • Relentless bullying amplified by anonymity and disappearing messages • Algorithmic feeds that escalate vulnerability into self-harm content • Drug acquisition through social apps leading to fentanyl deaths • Viral challenges that kill curious kids She explains how “teen accounts” and parental controls function as sugar pills. They reassure parents without protecting children. 1:02:01 – 1:11:30 | A chapter for parents Kelly speaks directly to parents. Delay smartphones as long as possible. She recommends no social media. Give yourself permission to reevaluate decisions with new information and self-compassion. She shares how technology can exist in a home without extractive platforms, from family computers to creative and educational tools. She names the economic manipulation at play and explains why neurodivergent children face disproportionate risk. This is not a parenting failure. It is a systemic one. 1:11:31 – 1:21:53 | Moral injury, refusing blood money, and choosing truth Kelly shares her mental health collapse, autistic burnout, and the moment...

    1h 23m
  2. 2025-10-07

    Platform by Platform: A soul-based tech audit. How I decided where to speak and what to leave behind

    This episode asks: how do we stay human inside each of the social media platforms? I trace the ways some of the platforms undermine my values: from Meta and its documented harms, to TikTok’s dopamine machine, to Substack’s conflicted role in the attention economy. I bring in Shoshana Zuboff’s theory of surveillance capitalism, the story of Cambridge Analytica, teen suicides linked to Instagram, and a chilling case of a man’s fatal entanglement with a Meta AI. This is an episode about radical ethics. It’s about what we consent to, what we refuse, and how we choose to connect in ways that don’t hollow us out. Mostly it's about responsibility. I walk through my decisions platform by platform, and why podcasting has become my chosen container. What you will hearWhat “surveillance capitalism” means, and why it threatens democracyThe blurred line between influence, manipulation, and consent onlineMeta’s record: Cambridge Analytica, teen mental health, and AI experiments gone wrongWhy TikTok and reels destroy our dopamine balanceWhy Substack works for me—and where it fails on anti-censorshipThe lure and limits of LinkedIn, BlueSky, and YouTubeWhy podcasting is my chosen space: no ads, no algo, no intrusionWeb3: I forgot to mention this in the podcast! Web3 social is an area of active research for me and while I’m not sharing my work on Forecaster or Base it’s in the works. This is where we own our work. Timestamps02:00 Why the container matters as much as the content04:30 Surveillance capitalism (Shoshana Zuboff)06:00 Not all data use is surveillance, but the line blurs09:20 The escalation: clicks → biometrics → behaviour shaping11:00 Substack as a model, but also its flaws13:40 Meta’s record: misinformation, Cambridge Analytica, teen suicides15:17 Meta AI harms: the New Jersey stroke patient case19:00 X as cesspool, TikTok as dopamine hijack25:00 Why feeds are different from algorithms28:00 LinkedIn, Blue Sky, YouTube—different shadows35:00 Substack’s anti-censorship stance and my conflict42:00 Why podcasting: intimacy without intrusion46:00 Closing: real life is local Links mentionedShoshana Zuboff, The Age of Surveillance Capitalism: Book linkCambridge Analytica scandal (Facebook fined $5B, 2019): WikipediaResearch on Instagram and teen mental health / suicide risk: Wall Street Journal coverageMeta AI and the New Jersey man’s death (stroke patient case): ReutersGenAI Content Risk Standards leak (Meta, 2025): ReutersOn TikTok’s dopamine effects and algorithm design: Brown UniversityRobert Reich’s Substack (“Coffee Klatch”): a href="https://robertreich.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

    32 min
5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

The Aliveness Podcast explores how we live, love, and think in a changing world. Every weekday brings Session Notes from The World’s Therapist - a fictional series about the inner life of our time. Each week I share an essay and a conversation with someone else who is thoughtfully exploring how we live. Dry humour lives here. Marion Woodman coded. The problems of our time are complex. Developing the inner capacity to withstand confusion and conflict in service of connection and growth is central to our collective thriving. More than one thing can be true at once. www.alisoncrosthwait.com