Coffee and Conversations for MEN

Jay and Brian
  • 5.0 (6)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
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Welcome to Coffee and Conversations for MEN, the podcast where two men, Jay Guy and Brian Jones, sit down to share their stories—of struggles, successes, and everything in between—as they navigate the ups and downs of life. Each episode, we will dive into the topics men are curious about, as it relates to their fitness, nutrition, relationships, mental health, and being a lifelong learner. If you’re looking for real talk, honest discussions, and practical advice, you’re in the right place. So grab your coffee, sit back, and join us for some candid conversations.

  1. FEB 1

    #18 MEN'S HEALTH: Topics We Avoid Talking to our Doctors About

    ☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN 🎙 #18 Episode Title: Men’s Health – Topics We Avoid Talking to Our Doctors About🎯 Theme: Breaking the Silence on Men’s Health 🎧 Episode Overview Men often avoid talking about health issues until something forces the conversation. In this episode, Jay and Brian explore the topics men commonly skip with their doctors—from sleep, heart health, and sexual health to stress, nutrition, and preventive care. With honesty and vulnerability, they highlighthow avoidance affects fitness, nutrition, mental health, relationships, and lifelong learning—and how awareness and advocacy can change your life. 💡 Key Messages -Men often normalize symptoms until it’s too late—listening to your body matters. -Fitness, nutrition, and stress are interconnected; ignoring one affects the others. -Mental health is part of overall health—therapy and self-advocacy are strength, not weakness. -Relationships and sexual health matter—shame and stigma should not prevent care. -Lifelong learning includes understanding your health, asking questions, and taking action. ☕️ 0:48 Overview ☕️ 2:10 What’s in Your Coffee Cup? Jay – Café Cabrera Cuba☕️ 3:24 The Why??? 💪 5:27 Fitness & Men’s Health: Listening to Your Body -Recognizing warning signs in sleep, heart rhythm, and overtraining -Fitness as empowerment vs. masking underlying issues 🥦 20:15 Nutrition & Men’s Health: Fuelling for Life -Weight, blood sugar, and metabolic health impacts -Overcoming denial and embracing small, sustainable changes 🧠 27:09 Mental Health & Men’s Health: Naming the Unspoken -Stress, anxiety, and depression in men -Therapy, self-advocacy, and addressing symptoms beyond the physical ❤️ 35:24  Relationships & Men’s Health: Sexual and Emotional Well-being -Prostate health, sexual function, vasectomies, and STI awareness -Recognizing partner violence and seeking support without shame 📘 50:45  Lifelong Learning: Advocating for Yourself -Asking questions, tracking your health, and taking informed action -Turning avoidance into awareness and creating a proactive health plan 📚 Referenced Resources Support for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse: 1-866-887-0015 (toll free) Addis,M. E., & Mahalik, J. R. (2003).Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American Psychologist, 58(1),5–14.https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.58.1.5Courtenay, W. H. (2000)Constructions of masculinity and their influence on men’s well-being: A theory of gender and health. Social Science & Medicine, 50(10), 1385–1401.https://doi.org/10.1016/S0277-9536(99)00390-1 Galdas, P. M., Cheater, F., & Marshall, P. (2005).Men and health help-seeking behaviour: Literature review. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 49(6), 616–623.https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2648.2004.03331.x Mahalik, J. R., Burns, S. M., & Syzdek, M. (2007).Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men’s health behaviors. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), 2201–2209.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2007.02.035 World Health Organization. (2018).The health and well-being of men in the WHO European Region: Better health through a gender approach. 💬 Final Reflection “Taking care of your health doesn’t make you weak, it keeps you presentfor your partner, friends, family, your future, and yourself.”“Silence doesn’t protect you; it can cost you. Awareness and action arestrength.”“Men’s health is more than physical, it’s fitness, nutrition, mental health,relationships, and lifelong learning combined.” 👥 Join the Conversation DM us or email to share your experience with men’s health. This podcastis a space for men to grow, learn, and be real together. Jay and Brian 📲 Connect with UsInstagram: @coffeeandconversations4menYouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMENEmail: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.comFacebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN

    1h 1m

  2. JAN 9

    #17 BONUS interview with Coach Lee Hayward: Building Muscle After 40, Losing the Gut, and Escaping the All-or-Nothing Trap

    ☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN Episode Title: Building Muscle After 40, Losing the Gut, and Escaping the All-or-Nothing Trap Hosts: Jay & Brian Guest: Coach Lee Hayward In this episode of Coffee and Conversations for MEN, Jay and Brian sit down with Coach Lee Hayward from Newfoundland, Canada — a former competitive bodybuilder and one of the true pioneers of online fitness coaching. Lee launched his Total Fitness Bodybuilding website way back in 1997, began creating YouTube content in 2006, and in 2011 was selected as the top bodybuilding coach in YouTube’s Next Trainer Program. Today, Lee’s mission is clear: helping men over 40 build muscle, lose fat, and reclaim their confidence through his Muscle After 40 Blueprint Coaching Program. We dive deep into Lee’s popular “Lose Your Gut Challenge” and connect it to our Five Pillars: Fitness, Nutrition, Relationships, Mental Health, and Lifelong Learning. ⏱ Episode Timeline & Topics 0:54 – Episode Overview 2:00 – What’s In Your Cup? ☕️ Jay's coffee: https://49thcoffee.com/?srsltid=AfmBOop5f2h7i7nQ2oxr34xdEdZDnNm7sXbr1QZkHT4jbYBUOq0ws-iX Brian's coffee: https://balzacs.com/?srsltid=AfmBOooSK6zkv8Y7FZZcq2NsyVvFXHmyuN7RWIEx24G2QtPHT0a5Qdpj 💪 FITNESS 3:46 – Feeling intimidated returning to the gym? Lee shares practical advice for men starting over without embarrassment. 5:22 – Escaping the all-or-nothing trap: what realistic, sustainable training looks like for busy men. 9:16 – How Lee’s training philosophy changed after stepping away from competitive bodybuilding and becoming a father. 🥗 NUTRITION 10:37 – “No starving, no cutting carbs, no crash diets”: the core philosophy behind Lee’s sustainable nutrition approach. 12:27 – Moving beyond chicken-and-broccoli diets to enjoyable, realistic eating habits. 16:26 – Learning to recognize emotional eating vs. convenience eating vs. true hunger. 🤝 RELATIONSHIPS 18:40 – Balancing family responsibilities with fitness goals—without guilt. 22:29 – Why community and accountability are game-changers for long-term success. 26:06 – How to avoid the comparison trap and stay focused on your own journey. 🧠 MENTAL HEALTH 31:26 – The “yo-yo trap”: how much of it is mental—and how men can finally break the cycle. 35:20 – Fitness as therapy: how consistent movement and nutrition build mental resilience. 29:08 – From competitive bodybuilding to sustainable fitness coaching: the biggest lessons Lee had to unlearn. 📚 LIFELONG LEARNING 38:10 – Essential mindset shifts for staying strong, lean, and healthy after 40. 43:09 – The one skill every man should learn to support lifelong health. 46:12 – Advice Lee would give his younger self. 47:53 – What’s next for Coach Lee? 50:40 – Wrap-Up & Final Thoughts How to Contact LEE HAYWARD 🌐 Blog: https://leehayward.com/blog/ 🔥 Lose Your Gut Challenge: https://leehayward.com/blog/lose-your-gut-challenge-2025/ 📧 Email: LeeHayward.com@gmail.com 📱 Instagram: @leemhayward A space for real men, real talk, and real growth. — Jay & Brian 📸 Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men ▶️ YouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMEN 📘 Facebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN 📧 Email: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com

    55 min

  3. JAN 1

    #16 Q & A: EVERYTHING FROM MENTAL HEALTH, MASCULINITY, MINDFULNESS & THE MODERN MAN. You asked. We answered

    ☕ Coffee and Conversations for Men Episode #16 – Q&AEverything from Mental Health, Masculinity, Mindfulness & the Modern ManYou asked. We answered. In this Q&A episode, Jay & Brian dive into powerful listener questions from around the world, exploring what it means to be a modern man navigating strength, vulnerability, mental health, relationships, and self-growth. Honest conversations, practical insights, and grounded wisdom,over a great cup of coffee. 0:45 – Episode OverviewJay & Brian set the tone for the episode, sharing what inspired this Q&A and why these conversations matter for men today. 1:40 – What’s In Your Cup?This month's coffee feature: Ground Kopi Luwak Coffee from wallaceacoffee.com ☕A brief conversation about flavour, ritual, from CAT SHIT Coffee 6:02 – How do I balance being strong and being vulnerable?(Mark – Australia)True strength isn’t emotional suppression, it’s courage. The guys discuss redefining strength as honesty, emotional ownership, and intentional vulnerability. Learn how “selective vulnerability” helps men stay grounded while being authentic. 11:05 – Why do men see anxiety, depression, and burnout as weakness, especially with other men?(James – Manitoba, Canada)Cultural expectations around masculinity have taught men to equate emotional struggle with failure. This segment explores stigma, silent competition among men, and why breaking the pattern requires someone willing to go first. 16:55 – Why do men struggle to connect with and express their emotions?(Francois – Toronto, Canada)Many men were never taught emotional language. Jay & Brian unpack emotional illiteracy, conditioning from childhood, and why emotional expression is a learnable skill, not a personality trait. 22:44 – Why do men have difficulty talking about their feelings?(João Carlos – São Paulo, Brazil)Talking about emotions feels risky when men are trained to fix problems rather than feel them. This discussion explores fear of judgment, lack of emotional roadmaps, and why discomfort doesn’t mean inability. 27:24 – How do I open up without feeling like a burden to the people I care about?(Anu – New Zealand)Sharing struggles is an act of trust, not weakness. Learn how structured vulnerability, clear communication, and asking for consent to share can deepen connection instead of overwhelming loved ones. 38:15 – How can I practice better self-talk without suppressing my inner demons?(Chris – Ontario, Canada)Healthy self-talk isn’t denial, it’s relationship. Jay & Brian explore self-distancing, naming emotions, and how to acknowledge difficult thoughts without letting them take control. 43:49 – What questions can I ask my partner to show vulnerability?(Pat – Elora, Ontario, Canada)Practical, relationship-building questions that invite emotional intimacy, safety, and connection, without forcing or oversharing. 66:00 – What if I’m not where I thought I’d be in life?(Ben – Ontario, Canada)Feeling “behind” is common, especially when success is measured by timelines. This conversation reframes progress through growth, self-compassion, and letting go of unrealistic expectations. Resources Justin Baldoni – Man Enough Brené Brown – Daring Greatly David Deida – The Way of the Superior Man Lewis Howes – The Mask of Masculinity Dr. Sue Johnson – Hold Me Tight Ethan Kross – Chatter Amir Levine & Rachel Heller – Attached Mark Manson – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* Have a question you want answered on the show?DM us and we’ll include it in an upcoming episode. This is a space for real men, real talk, and real growth.— Jay & Brian Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men YouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMEN Facebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN Email: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com

    57 min

  4. 2025-12-28

    #15 RECAPPING SEASON 1: Real Talk, Real Growth

    ☕ Coffee & Conversations for Men 2025 Season 1  Recap: Real Talk, Real Growth In this special episode, Jay and Brian sit down to reflect onSeason 1 of Coffee & Conversations for Men, the wins, the hardconversations, and the moments that stretched us as men. This season wasn’t about having all the answers. It was about asking better questions. From men’s health and discipline to identity, grief, finances, andaddiction, Season 1 challenged the idea that strength is just muscle or money, and replaced it with balance, self-awareness, and community. Grab a coffee and join us as we revisit the conversations that shaped the foundation of this podcast. 🔁 Season 1 Episode Recap 3:48  #1 – More Than Muscle: The Missing Piece of Men’s Health Why physical fitness alone isn’t enough and how mental, emotional, and relational health complete the picture. 5:26  #2 – From Stuck to Unstoppable: The DISCIPLINE Blueprint for Men Breaking through procrastination and excuses by redefining discipline as daily alignment, not punishment. 7:58  #3 – Behind the Mask: Tackling Insecurities in Fitness, Relationships & Beyond An honest look at what men hide and how vulnerability becomes real strength. 10:15  #4 – Permission to Say NO: People Pleasing & Setting Boundaries Why boundaries aren’t selfish and how saying “no” protects your purpose. 12:57  #5 – Men Behaviour: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly Examining learned behaviours, accountability, and how men can choose growth over reaction. 16:30  #6 – Father Figures: Real Role Models for Real Life The impact of fatherhood, mentorship, and becoming the example you may never have had. 17:19  #7 BONUS – Interview with Justin Brothers Healthy at HOME to YOUR HOME Discovering real food freedom andsustainable health. 17:40  #8 – Beyond Blood: FindingYour Tribe & Allies Why brotherhood matters and how strong communities change men’s lives. 20:14  #9 BONUS – Interview with Mark Sparvell Author of Good Brain, Bad Brain Understanding how your brain works for (or against) you. 21:02  #10 – Turning Failure into Fuel & Rejection into Resets Reframing setbacks as tools for growth, not proof you should quit. 23:13  #11 – If the Purpose Isn’t the Paycheque, Where Do You Find Your Identity? Unpacking identity beyond work, titles, and external validation. 25:25  #12 – From Breakdown to Breakthrough: A Real Talk About Grief An honest conversation about loss, healing, and giving men permission to grieve. 27:28  #13 – The Financial Fight No One Trained You For Money, stress, responsibility, and why financial literacy is emotional literacy. 29:27   #14 – Four Addictions, One Truth: Rock Bottom Looks Different for Everyone Understanding addiction, shame, and the universal need for help and honesty. 32:00.  Wrap Up: What does season #2 look like? 🎯 What Season 1 Was Really About * Growth over perfection * Awareness before action * Strength through connection * Becoming intentional men in a distracted world 👊 What’s Next * Season #1 laid the groundwork. Season 2 builds the house. * If you’ve been walking this journey with us — thank you. If you’re just joining, start anywhere and stay awhile. Because better men build better lives. This is a space for real men, real talk, and real growth.— Jay & Brian Instagram:@coffeeandconversations4men YouTube:@CoffeeandConversationsforMEN Facebook:Coffee and Conversations for MEN Email: ⁠CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com⁠

    36 min

  5. 2025-12-01

    #14 FOUR ADDICTIONS - ONE TRUTH: Rock bottom looks different for everyone.

    ☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN 💡 Podcast Theme: Four Addictions-One Truth: Rockbottom looks different for everyone.Subtitle idea: Exploring Addiction Through four different lives: Justin, Ben, Zac and Colin. In this deeply honest and unfiltered episode, we explore addiction through the lived experiences of four men—Justin, Ben, Zac, and Colin—each fought a different battle, but all confronted the same truth: addiction is a war most men were never taught how to fight. From alcohol to cocaine to the grief of losing family members to addiction, we unpack how substance use impacts every dimension of a man’s life—the body, the mind, relationships, and long-term growth. Through these stories, we challenge the stigma surrounding men and addiction, and highlight the resilience, community, and emotional literacy needed to heal.This episode is for any man who feels alone in the struggle, any family trying to understand addiction, and anyone ready to break generational cycles. 🧭 Key Takeaways 🧩 Overarching Messages Addiction is not a character flaw — it’s a complex, often silent,struggle. Men are conditioned to suppress, hide, and self-medicate pain rather thanexpress it. Recovery requires community, vulnerability, and a willingness to rebuild. You can’t fight addiction alone, and you shouldn’t have to. 00:44  Introduction 01:55. What’s In Your Cup?             Jay: https://silverscootercoffee.com/             Brian: https://www.streetsaheadcoffeeroasters.ca/ 🏋️ FITNESS 4:08 Justin’s Story – Alcohol Addiction Key Message: Addiction slowly breaks down the body, but discipline and movement can help rebuild it. 💡 Takeaways: Alcohol addiction often leads to physical decline: reduced strength, inflammation, exhaustion, and long-term health complications. Fitness becomes a framework for recovery, discipline in the gymtranslates into discipline in managing cravings. 🧠 MENTAL HEALTH 19:54 Ben’s Story – Cocaine Addiction Key Message: Addiction and mental health are inseparable; one always affects the other. 💡 Takeaways: Cocaine addiction often co-exists with anxiety, depression, trauma, or emotional avoidance. Addiction masks emotional pain temporarily, but worsens it long-term. ❤️ RELATIONSHIPS 35:30 Zac’s Story – Alcohol Addiction Key Message: Addiction doesn’t destroy relationships overnight—it's a slow erosion of trust, connection, and communication. 💡 Takeaways: Alcohol addiction deeply impacts spouse/partners, children, friends, and extended family. Family support and groups like AA can accelerate healing for everyone involved. 📚 LIFE-LONG LEARNING 49:49 Colin’s Story – Family Loss toAddiction Key Message: Recovery only happens when the addict wants to change. 💡 Takeaways: Colin lost both his brother and brother-in-law to addiction, turning his grief into advocacy and learning. Knowledge allows families to support loved ones without enabling destructive patterns. 🎧 Listen Now If You… Are battling addiction or supporting someone who is Want to better understand the emotional, relational, and physical impacts of substance use Feel stuck, ashamed, or overwhelmed by cravings, triggers, or past mistakes 📌 Resources Mentioned A 7 Step Handbook for Ending Any Addiction — Lance M. Dodes Freedom from Our Addictions — Russell Brand A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction — David Sheff How Science and Kindness Help People Change — Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, Nicole Kosanke & Stephanie Higgs 🎙️ Hosted by Jay and Brian If this episode moved you, please subscribe, rate, and share.No man should fight addiction alone, and after today, you don’t have to. Forward this link to a friend. 📲 Connect with UsInstagram: @coffeeandconversations4menYouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMENEmail: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.comFacebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN

    1h 9m

  6. 2025-11-01

    #13 THE FINANCIAL FIGHT NO ONE TRAINED US FOR

    ☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN🎙 #13 Episode Title: The Financial Fight No One TrainedYou For🎯 Theme: Mastering Health and Wealth Through Discipline &Intention 🎧 Episode OverviewIn this rich and revealing episode, Jay and Brian dive into the deep connection between financial wellness and their five pillars (fitness, nutrition, relationships, mental health, & lifelong learning. From gym routines to grocery budgets, from investing in your health to managing money in marriage, they explore how the choices men make daily affect both their energy and their equity. Through personal stories, hard-earned lessons, and powerful mindsetshifts, this episode will challenge you to rethink the way you move, eat, spend, and save. 💡 Key Messages Financial stress is a silent killer—and it shows up in your body. Discipline in your fitness mirrors discipline in your finances. Your grocery list is a budget—and your plate is an investment. Your relationship with money gets passed on—whether you talk about it or not. Small, consistent habits build a strong body and a secure future. ☕️ 0:48 – Overview☕️ 2:05 – What’s in Your Coffee Cup? Streets Ahead Coffee Roasters   streetsaheadcoffeeroasters@gmail.com https://www.facebook.com/Streetsaheadcoffeeroasters/ ☕️ 3:40 – The WHY? 💪 5:17 ~ Fitness & Finances: Why Discipline in One Shapes the Other Home gyms built on a budget Fitness expenses as long-term investments Tracking workouts + tracking expensesQuote: “You don’t skip leg day—don’t skip financial planning either.”Research Highlight: Kiyosaki (2000) reminds us to “build assets, not liabilities.” For many men, fitness is an asset. 🥦 15:32 Nutrition & Finances: Pay the Farmer or the Pharmacist CSA shares as proactive meal planning The power of meal prep Fast food = fast debtQuote: “Healthy eating isn’t expensive—it’s planned.”Research Highlight: Tyson (2021) explains how budget leaks—like takeout—can sabotage long-term goals. 🧠 26:26 Mental Health & Finances: Breaking the Silence The stress of unspoken financial anxiety Emotional spending and retail therapy One-car families, delayed gratification, and financial peaceQuote: “Understanding money is the first step to controlling your life.”Research Highlight: Ontario’s 2020 curriculum now includes financial literacy—a game-changer for the next generation. ❤️ 37:17 Relationships & Finances: Marriage, Money & Mentorship Allowances, jars, and teaching kids about money Surprise vacations, secret savings, and collaboration Financial check-ins and shared decision-makingQuote: “Your relationship with money is passed down—whether you talk about it or not.”Research Highlight: Tyson (2020) emphasizes clarity, communication, and shared planning in successful financial relationships. 📘 47:27 Lifelong Learning: Financial Fitness Is a Journey Living below your means—even when income increases Emergency funds, bad debt, and learning to invest Will, power of attorney, insurance—your financial foundationQuote: “The best time to start learning was yesterday. The second-best is today.”Research Highlight: Chilton (2006) and Hill (1937) both stresspersistence, clarity, and long-term mindset in building wealth and success. 📚 Referenced Research & Resources Chilton, D. (2006). The Wealthy Barber. Hill, N. (1937). Think and Grow Rich. Kiyosaki, R. (2000). Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Tyson, E. (2021). Personal Finance for Dummies. 👥 Join the ConversationDM us or email to share how you’re growing—financially, physically, or both. What habits have helped? What lessons have you learned the hard way? This is a space for real men, real talk, and real growth. Jay & Brian 📲 Connect with UsInstagram: @coffeeandconversations4menYouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMENEmail: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.comFacebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN

    1h 2m

  7. 2025-10-01

    #12 FROM BREAKDOWN TO BREAKTHROUGH: A REAL TALK ABOUT GRIEF.

    Show Notes ☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN🎙 #12 Episode Title: From Breakdown to Breakthrough: A Real Talk About GRIEF🎯 Theme: Grief, Loss & the Hidden Stories Men Carry 🎧 Episode OverviewIn this powerful and revealing episode, Jay and Brian open the door to one of the most unspoken and misunderstood experiences for men: grief. But not just the grief of losing someone—this is a conversation about the many formsof loss that go unnamed. From lost careers to death of loved ones, from injuries and aging bodies to broken friendships, this episode explores how men experience grief in silence—and how that silence shapes our fitness, food, emotions, and identity.With honesty and vulnerability, Jay and Brian share personal stories and insights that help listeners recognize and release the grief they didn’t even know they were carrying. 💡 Key Messages -Grief isn’t just death—it’s the loss of identity, dreams, relationships, and time. -If you don’t process grief, it processes you—through your habits, health, and hidden pain. -Movement and food can be healing—but they can also be a mask for what hurts. -Giving grief a name is the first step toward healing. -You don’t need a funeral to grieve. And you don’t need to suffer insilence. ☕️ 0:47 Overview ☕️ 2:08 The Why??? ☕️ 4:21 What’s in Your Coffee Cup?Jay – https://www.receivercoffee.com/collections/coffeeBrian – https://estatescoffee.com/ 🔍 Featured Topics & Segments 💪 6:16 Fitness & Grief: When Movement Masks the Pain -Grieving the body, career, and routine post-retirement -Obsessive fitness as control and coping -Numbness hidden behind wellness 🥦 15:23 Nutrition & Grief: When Regret Shows Up on Your Plate -Emotional eating as silent grief -The gut-brain-grief connection -Comfort foods as coping, not nourishment 🧠 23:38 Mental Health & Grief: Naming the Unspoken Loss -Grief isn’t always sadness—it can be anger, addiction, anxiety -Trauma stored in the body, triggered decades later -Midlife crisis… or midlife grief? ❤️ 35:30 Relationships & Grief: When Friendships Fade -The invisible pain of broken brotherhoods -Making peace with endings that don’t have closure -Missing people who are still alive 📘 47:00 Lifelong Learning: What Loss Leaves Behind -Grief as a teacher, not just a taker -From journaling to storytelling—healing through meaning -Finding growth in the cracks left by grief 📚 Referenced Research & Resources Anderson, E. & Stell, A. (2020). Masculinity and Social Loss.Psychology of Men & Masculinities. Cryan, J. F., et al. (2019). The Gut-Brain Axis in Grief and Emotion.Neurobiology of Stress. Harper, F. G. (2022). Unfck your grief:Using science to heal yourself and support others (E. Bennett, Narr.) [Audiobook]. Blackstone Publishing. Levine, P. (2021). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. NorthAtlantic Books. McAdams, D. (2015). The Art and Science of Narrative Identity. APA Psychology. Prigerson, H., et al. (2021). Prolonged Grief Disorder. WorldPsychiatry. 💬 Final Reflection“Grief doesn’t always look like mourning—it can look like running, numbing,overeating, overworking.”“You don’t have to lose someone to feel loss. And you don’t need permission togrieve.”“Grief, named and voiced, becomes wisdom. Silence only gives it power.”“You’re not broken. You’re grieving.” 👥 Join the ConversationDM us or email to share your own experience with grief—whether it's a relationship, identity, body, or time you lost.This podcast is a space for men to heal, grow, and be real—together. Jay and Brian 📲 Connect with UsInstagram: @coffeeandconversations4menYouTube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMENEmail: CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.comFacebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN

    57 min

  8. 2025-09-01

    #11 IF YOUR PURPOSE ISN'T YOUR PAYCHEQUE, WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR IDENTITY?

    Show Notes ☕️ Coffee and Conversations for MEN 🎙 #11 Episode Title: If your purpose isn’t your paycheque, where do you find your IDENTITY🎯 Theme: Men’s Identity in the Workforce & Life After the Title 🎧 Episode Overview In this deep and personal episode, Jay and Brian explore the silent crisis many men face when their career ends, shifts, or no longer defines them. From job loss to retirement, from burnout to body image—this episode dives into how identity gets tangled in performance, status, and validation. Through personal stories, powerful research, and the Five Pillars of Wellness, the conversation invites men to redefine who they are—not by what they do, but by how they live, love, feel, and grow. 💡 Key Messages *You are not your title. Your work is what you do—not who you are. Identity rooted only in roles is fragile. Build purpose beyond performance. *Masculinity evolves. Real strength lies in expression, not suppression. *Growth doesn’t end with a job—it begins again. 3:12     What’s in your Coffee Cup?             Jay- Shell Shock by 8 Bite https://www.8bitbeans.com/product-page/shell-shocked-chocolate-caramel-and-butter-pecan              Brian- Ridge Blend by Grey Ridge https://greyridgecoffee.ca/products/ridge-blend?variant=43073480949918 💪 4:02 Fitness & Identity: When the Body Becomes the Brand -From emotional collapse to obsessive control -Using strength as a shield, muscles as a mask -The illusion of control through workouts -Reclaiming fitness as self-expression, not validation 🥦 13:56 Nutrition & Identity: When Eating Becomes Ego -When “clean eating” becomes a performance -The shame spiral after indulgence -Biohacking and discipline as status signals -Returning to flexible, intuitive eating for well-being 🧠 23:54 Mental Health & Identity: “I’m Not My Job” -Why career transitions hit men harder than expected -Masculine identity traps: The Fixer, The Stoic, The Provider -High-functioning on the outside, quietly breaking inside -Tools for emotional expression & support ❤️ 37:44 Relationships & Identity: When Being Needed = Being Worthy -The invisible burden of “being the provider” -Reconnecting with partners and kids beyond your paycheck -Common identity traps: emotional suppression, performative reliability -Loving and being loved beyond usefulness 📘 50:11 Lifelong Learning: Redefining Life After the Title -The disorientation of retirement or career endings -How new routines, hobbies, and roles restore purpose -Rediscovering self-outside of productivity -Who are you when no one’s watching?” 📚 Referenced Research & Resources Boettcher, N., et al. (2019). Men’s Work-Related Stress and Mental Health. American Journal of Men's Health, 13(2). Roberts, K., et al. (2023). Athletic Identity & Mental Health inRetirement. Journal of Sport Rehabilitation, 32(5), 630–634. Tribole, E., & Resch, E. (2020). Intuitive Eating (4th ed.). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Lee, J., & Lee, S. (2016). Caring is Masculine: Stay-at-HomeFathers and Masculine Identity. Psychology of Men & Masculinity. Newton, N. J. (2022). Older Canadians' Identity and Well-Being in Retirement. International Journal of Aging & Human Development, 95(1), 91–109. 💬 Final Reflection “Your work is not your worth. Your title is not your truth.”“Your body is your home—not your brand.”“Your value is in how you show up, not just what you do.” 👥 Join the Conversation DM us or email to share your story, reflect on your own identityevolution, or connect with a men’s support group. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to carry it all in silence. Jay and Brian Connect with Us: Instagram: @coffeeandconversations4men You Tube: @CoffeeandConversationsforMEN Email:CoffeeandConversationsforMEN@gmail.com Facebook: Coffee and Conversations for MEN

    1h 4m
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About

Welcome to Coffee and Conversations for MEN, the podcast where two men, Jay Guy and Brian Jones, sit down to share their stories—of struggles, successes, and everything in between—as they navigate the ups and downs of life. Each episode, we will dive into the topics men are curious about, as it relates to their fitness, nutrition, relationships, mental health, and being a lifelong learner. If you’re looking for real talk, honest discussions, and practical advice, you’re in the right place. So grab your coffee, sit back, and join us for some candid conversations.

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