Welcome to Week Three of The Marriage Refresh, an eight-week journey designed to help you reset your marriage God’s way—practically, biblically, and with real hope. In this episode, Lucy Martin dives into one of the most transformative (and often invisible) marriage skills: relinquishing control. This teaching is foundational for restoring intimacy, respect, faith, and spiritual leadership in marriage. The Marriage Refresh is happening across the Easy Biblical Marriage podcast, emails, social media, and inside Lucy’s free Facebook group, Easy Biblical Marriage. You can jump in at any point—no need to listen in order. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why control—not doubt—is the opposite of faith How “helpful suggestions,” I-statements, and even curiosity can unintentionally communicate control Why many husbands withdraw, shut down, or become defensive when they feel corrected or managed How relinquishing control creates space for intimacy, safety, and respect to grow What it really means to stay on your own paper How fear drives the urge to control—and how to identify the fear underneath it Why control and intimacy cannot coexist in marriage How relinquishing control strengthens your faith and deepens your walk with God Lucy’s Personal Story Includes: Trying to force family Bible time while secretly resenting her husband Using “good communication” and I-statements that actually pushed him further away Explaining spiritual leadership instead of honoring the leader he already was Recognizing how control kept her stuck in fear Choosing intimacy over outcomes—even when it felt costly Watching her husband organically step into spiritual leadership when she stepped back Experiencing deeper emotional safety, connection, and unity over time Coaching & Group Discussion Highlights: Control vs. curiosity: how to discern what’s actually motivating your questions Why taking a temporary break from asking questions can restore respect How people-pleasing, walking on eggshells, and managing emotions can also be forms of control What to do when your husband invites you back into the old “nagging” dynamic Why neediness (even when rooted in love) can feel controlling to a husband How self-care, delight, and fixing your eyes on Jesus changes the entire dynamic Why healthy change feels uncomfortable—and why that’s often a sign it’s working Key Biblical Themes Explored: Trusting God instead of grabbing the steering wheel Submission as freedom—not oppression Letting God do the convicting Counting the cost: fear vs. intimacy Faith as a lived, daily practice inside marriage Honoring your husband without making him God—or comparing him to an imaginary man You’re in the Right Place If: Your marriage feels distant or strained You long for your husband to be a spiritual leader You’ve been accused of being controlling (and don’t understand why) Your husband feels angry, withdrawn, or checked out Intimacy or fun has faded Things are “fine,” but you want deeper growth with God This episode offers clarity, conviction, and hope—without force, fixing, or fear. Join the Marriage Refresh & Connect: Free Marriage Refresh inside the Easy Biblical Marriage Facebook group Email Lucy: hello@easybiblicalmarrage.com Free 1-Hour Marriage Clarity CallA no-pressure conversation to gain vision, hope, and a clear path forward→ Email or message Lucy with three times that work for you Be sure to subscribe and come back for the rest of The Marriage Refresh as we continue restoring marriage one skill at a time—and join the conversation inside the Facebook group.
