Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-Being

Kyla Schnellert & Kelsey Bowyer
  • 4.9 (56)
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A podcast to help you sift through the bullsh*t around work, well-being, and relationships. We‘re passionate about taking care of our mental health so that we can show up in the world feeling as good as possible. We ask questions, seek answers, and share our own experiences – to help you navigate the messier parts of life. Because trial and error is a lot easier when we do it for you. We’re a couple of deeply introspective gals with a lot of feelings, over a decade of friendship under our belts, and a few too many self-help books on our shelves. We’ve always been fans of a good, long, life chat and we wanted to create a space where we could explore the Big Questions, Big Ideas, and Big Feelings that were on our minds as women navigating our late 20’s. We lean into curiosity, vulnerability, and research-backed learning to help each other grow; we’re strong believers that being able to show up for ourselves and each other through gritty times is one of the most beautiful and important things we can do in this life. Our hope is that in sharing and unpacking our own stories and experiences we might help others feel less alone in their own messy, wonderful lives too.

  1. Asking Rachel Kaplan (Psychotherapist): How Do We Feel Our Feelings?

    2022-05-10

    Asking Rachel Kaplan (Psychotherapist): How Do We Feel Our Feelings?

    Rachel Kaplan is a licensed psychotherapist and the creator and host of iTunes acclaimed New and Noteworthy podcast The Healing Feeling Sh*t Show. Rachel has spent the last 25+ years studying healing and teaching folks how to collectively reclaim their natural ability to feel their feelings and to develop emotional resilience. Rachel joins Educated Messes to share her personal story of loss that led her down this path, and to walk us through the different steps involved in moving our emotions. Rachel shares the importance of creating safe containers to access and process our unresolved feelings. We talk about society’s blossoming acceptance of sadness versus its flat-out rejection of anger and healthy ways to approach and experience anger so that it doesn’t build up in our bodies. Doing the work of addressing and processing our feelings is no easy feat, but what’s the cost of continuing to turn away from ourselves? We think it’s too high. Find Rachel’s work: TikTok: @thefeelingsmovement Website: http://healingfeelingshitshow.com/ Instagram: @healingfeelingshitshow Core Wound Quiz ✺ Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.

    1h 22m
  2. How Can We Become More Authentic?

    2022-04-06

    How Can We Become More Authentic?

    In part two of our authenticity series, we get real passionate as we explore tools to embrace vulnerability and live a more authentically aligned life. We share that we are done pursuing contentment and are instead moving into our ~big feelings era~. We talk about how choosing authenticity is an act of mini-revolution against the conforms of society and the patriarchy (such light and fun topics). We remember that while channeling our truest selves might bug some folks, we don’t owe anyone previous versions of ourselves. Ultimately, we decide that given how we’re all just floating around in different realities, worrying about other people's perceptions of us is a waste of our precious time. In part two of our authenticity series, we get real passionate as we explore tools to embrace vulnerability and live a more authentically aligned life. We share that we are done pursuing contentment and are instead moving into our ~big feelings era~. We talk about how choosing authenticity is an act of mini-revolution against the conforms of society and the patriarchy (such light and fun topics). We remember that while channeling our truest selves might bug some folks, we don’t owe anyone previous versions of ourselves. Ultimately, we decide that given how we’re all just floating around in different realities, worrying about other people's perceptions of us is a waste of our precious time. ✺ Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand. ✺ Other EM episodes we mention Episode 21: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? (Self Compassion Pt. I) Episode 22: How Do I Treat Myself Better (Self Compassion Pt. II) Episode 01: Why Is It So Hard To Try New Things? We also mention Podcast: “Embrace Your Authentic Self” - Reset with Liz Tran Book: “Daring Greatly” - Brene Brown Podcast: Radical Acceptance - Gateway to Love, Wisdom, and Peace - Tara Brach Website: Courage, Vulnerability, & Shame Researcher Brené Brown Definition: Authenticity - Psychology Today Article: “The Study of Authenticity” - Elizabeth Hopper, PhD Sources Book: “Daring Greatly” - Brene Brown Wikipedia: Self-Objectification

    1h 8m
  3. What Keeps Us From Being Authentic?

    2022-03-14

    What Keeps Us From Being Authentic?

    In part one of our authenticity series, we define what authenticity means to us (“striving to align our actions with our core values and beliefs with the hope of discovering, and then acting in sync with, our true selves.”) and discuss three big barriers that might be preventing us from being our most authentic selves. We learn how complex of a topic authenticity really is and explore how difficult it can be act in alignment with our values in a society that repeatedly tells us not to love and listen to ourselves. We share some of our personal experiences with authenticity, discuss the importance of being clear on our values and how mindfulness can help us behave more authentically. ✺ Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand. ✺ Other EM episodes we mention   Episode 21: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? (Self Compassion Pt. I) Episode 22: How Do I Treat Myself Better (Self Compassion Pt. II) Episode 11: How Can I Tell If I'm A People Pleaser Episode 01: Why Is It So Hard To Try New Things? We also mention Podcast Episode: “Embrace Your Authentic Self” - Reset with Liz Tran Courage, Vulnerability, & Shame Researcher Brené Brown Podcast Episode: Radical Acceptance - Gateway to Love, Wisdom, and Peace -Tara Brach Definition of Authenticity from Psychology Today Authenticity studies discussed in this Healthy Psych article

    47 min
  4. How Do I Treat Myself Better? (Self-Compassion Pt. II)

    2022-02-28

    How Do I Treat Myself Better? (Self-Compassion Pt. II)

    In part two of our self compassion series, we learn from the queen of self compassion herself (Dr. Kristen Neff) how we might become more loving, caring, and nurturing towards ourselves as we navigate Big Things in life.  We explore our personal experiences with self esteem, discuss how mindfulness and self compassion are both important parts of meeting difficult experiences with less resistance, and share some tools that can help us strengthen our individual self compassion practices. Also, Kelsey says “flagellating” and we have a good long laugh in the fact check about Kyla discovering her “”inner baby””.   ✺   Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand. ✺ Other EM episodes we mention   Episode 21: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? (Self Compassion Pt. I) We also mention Workbook: “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” Kristen Neff Kristen Neff: Website Video: School of Life - How To Simplify Your Life (Kyla mentions putting your inner baby down for a nap lol) Worksheet Download: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Thought Recording (similar to one Kyla uses) Problem-Solving Tool: The Five Whys Tik Tok: “If It’s Coming Up, It’s Coming Up To Go” Series: Maid

    48 min
  5. Why Am I So Hard on Myself? (Self Compassion Pt. I)

    2022-02-14

    Why Am I So Hard on Myself? (Self Compassion Pt. I)

    It’s the season of love, so what better time to learn how to treat ourselves a bit more lovingly? In part one of our Self-Compassion Series, we dig into the challenges we personally face in being compassionate towards ourselves. We discuss prompts from Dr. Kristen Neff’s self compassion workbook, examine our own patterns, and start to discuss areas where we could treat ourselves a bit more kindly. We open up about the struggle of wanting to evolve without rejecting who we are right now and noodle on how we might find balance between loving ourselves while also recognizing that there is always room to grow. This isn’t our first attempt at recording an episode on this topic (the first one ended up being scrapped and replaced by our burnout episode…and then we disappeared for nine months…) but this time around we’re feeling renewed and a little bit more equipped to explore this very important topic. TLDR; Self-compassion is hard, y’all. Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to join the community and be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.   ✺   Other EM episodes we mention   Episode 01: Why is it so Hard to Try New Things? Episode 17: When Does Positivity Become Toxic? We also mention Workbook: “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” Kristen Neff Book: “Trick Mirror” by Jia Tolentino Article: “Athleisure, barre and kale: the tyranny of the ideal woman” Jia Tolentino Kristen Neff: Website

    33 min
  6. Crying in a Good Way

    2022-01-31

    Crying in a Good Way

    In our first episode back after our 9 month hiatus, we touch on why we left and how we’ve been sorting through what was a pretty intense and difficult time in both of our lives. We reflect on the past year including what we’re proud of, what we learned, and how we think we’ve changed. We’re excited to be back and can’t wait to reconnect with the Educated Messes community. Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.   Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify     Other EM episodes we mention   Episode 14: New Year, Same Us (But Growing) Episode 15: Why is it So Hard to Make New Friends Episode 17: When Does Positivity Become Toxic? We also mention Podcast: The Healing Feeling Shit Show Podcast: Andrew Huberman - Armchair Expert Youtube Course: Therapy in a Nutshell Article: “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing” by Adam Grant Book: “24/6 The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week” by Tiffany Shlain Movie: Inside Out Sources Dialectic Behavior Therapy: Learn More Podcast: Andrew Huberman - Armchair Expert Courage, Neurobiology and EMDR Therapy

    43 min
  7. How Can I Tell If I'm Burnt Out?

    2021-04-08

    How Can I Tell If I'm Burnt Out?

    In this episode, we talk about burnout — a big, scary topic that’s been very front of mind for us lately. It feels like we’ve hit a collective wall, and we thought better understanding burnout might help us start to move past it. We get clear on what burnout looks like, how it shows up, and how to identify when we’re feeling it. We talk about the different types of burnout; pandemic-related, professional, or personal and cover some mechanisms to deal with them. We get real honest (and heated) about advocating for ourselves at work in a capitalist system that hinges our worth on our output. We talk about tools to avoid burnout and discuss the issues facing millennials (aka: the generational obsession with optimizing ourselves). Finally, we talk about how self-care has been co-opted into an industry that pressures us to constantly look to improve ourselves. Essentially, you’ll be listening in on an honest conversation about a difficult period in our lives. Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand.   Other EM episodes we mention Ep 09: How Do We Become More Resilient? We also mention Burnout Book By Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski Sources Millennial Burnout - Buzzfeed Smartphone Study - UTexas

    1h 8m
  8. Asking Keighty Gallagher: How Do We Find The Courage To Do Big Things?

    2021-03-04

    Asking Keighty Gallagher: How Do We Find The Courage To Do Big Things?

    In this episode, we talk to our very first guest— Tight Club founder Keighty Gallagher— about her work, her life, and the story of Tight Club. Keighty was a lifelong athlete, but when her relationship with movement turned toxic it fuelled a passion to help rewrite the language of fitness in a way that centred joy and positivity. Keighty built a business based on community and has remained true to her values and vision through all the different forms Tight Club has taken throughout the years. We talk to Keighty about leading with vulnerability and humility, and ask her how we can do big things (even without having all of the answers). We learn about the Karate Kid mentality of dealing with ~feedback~ and discuss how we can lean into curiosity and kindness — both with ourselves and with others. We dig into the idea of community, including how it feels to be part of one and why it’s important (otherwise we’re just ants running around without pants). KG champions inclusivity and living boldly, and has worked incredibly hard to redefine the fitness industry in a way that feel safe for all. We hope you’re as inspired as we were by this conversation! If you want to try out TCTV (Tight Club’s movement platform), you can use the code TIGHTMESS to receive 15% off your first month on the platform after your free 7-day trial.   ----   Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes! Find Keighty and Tight Club on Instagram @keightythousand + @tightclub Note: Our offer to include free ad reads for BIPOC-owned businesses still stands and will continue to stand   ---   Other EM episodes we mention   Ep 06: Do Our Emotions Affect Our Health? Ep 17: When Does Positivity Become Toxic? We also mention Book: Dare to Lead by Brene Brown Brené Brown Non-violent Communication Book   Sources What is tapping? More Info Here Humble Leadership - Forbes Article

    1h 2m
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About

A podcast to help you sift through the bullsh*t around work, well-being, and relationships. We‘re passionate about taking care of our mental health so that we can show up in the world feeling as good as possible. We ask questions, seek answers, and share our own experiences – to help you navigate the messier parts of life. Because trial and error is a lot easier when we do it for you. We’re a couple of deeply introspective gals with a lot of feelings, over a decade of friendship under our belts, and a few too many self-help books on our shelves. We’ve always been fans of a good, long, life chat and we wanted to create a space where we could explore the Big Questions, Big Ideas, and Big Feelings that were on our minds as women navigating our late 20’s. We lean into curiosity, vulnerability, and research-backed learning to help each other grow; we’re strong believers that being able to show up for ourselves and each other through gritty times is one of the most beautiful and important things we can do in this life. Our hope is that in sharing and unpacking our own stories and experiences we might help others feel less alone in their own messy, wonderful lives too.

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