The Luella Jonk Show

Dr. Luella Jonk, PhD

From the therapy room of a registered psychotherapist, dating coach and solopreneur who has tirelessly attempted a 'healthy' work-life balance for 25 years, it rarely existed for me and likely does not for most business owners, entrepreneurs and executives. The truth is relationships can really suffer. I will be interviewing expert guests who are doing things right so we can all learn to mix business with pleasure. Topics will range from building better relationships, connection, dating, and how to spread more kindness and compassion towards others while doing so. Listeners, you have the right to have passion surrounding your work while maintaining passionate relationships. You can have your cake and eat it too. New episodes premiere every Tuesday.

  1. Episode #88: Dr. James Kinross on Why Your Gut Holds the Secret to Your Mental Health (And Most Doctors Miss It)

    5D AGO

    Episode #88: Dr. James Kinross on Why Your Gut Holds the Secret to Your Mental Health (And Most Doctors Miss It)

    In this episode, Dr. James Kinross, consultant surgeon and microbiome scientist at Imperial College London, reveals why the trillions of microbes living inside us hold the key to our physical and mental health—and why we're facing an "internal climate crisis" that's changing everything. From IBS to obesity to mental health struggles, Dr. Kinross explains how our relationship with these invisible organisms determines our wellbeing far more than we realize. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why your microbiome is like an orchestra playing a symphony to your body—and what happens when it goes silent ✅ The shocking truth about antibiotics: how childhood exposure shapes lifelong health (and what to do if you need them now) ✅ Why IBS isn't actually about your bowel—it's a gut-brain problem that starts in childhood ✅ The fiber rule that reduces your risk of nearly every chronic disease (and why carnivore diets are terrible for your gut) ✅ How travel, stress, and sleep deprivation completely shift your microbiome—and why some people's IBS vanishes on vacation ✅ The real problem with microbiome testing and how to know if yours is actually useful ✅ Why extreme diets and quick fixes fail—and what actually works for long-term gut health Whether you're struggling with digestive issues, trying to understand the mind-body connection in your practice, or simply want to optimize your health, Dr. Kinross offers clear, science-backed insights that cut through the "wild west" of wellness trends. His message is urgent yet hopeful: we can become conservationists of our own internal ecosystem. 🔔 Remember: You are as microbial as you are human. A diverse diet equals a diverse microbiome equals a longer, healthier life. There are no hacks—only understanding. ======================================================== Dr. James Kinross's relevant links: Website: https://www.jameskinross.com Instagram: @DrJamesKinross Book: Dark Matter: The New Science of the Microbiome (Penguin, 2023)

    1h 15m
  2. Episode #87: We're Choosing a Machine Over the People Right in Front of Us. And It's Ruining Us.

    FEB 3

    Episode #87: We're Choosing a Machine Over the People Right in Front of Us. And It's Ruining Us.

    I'm recording this one without makeup—not because I forgot, but because I need to practice what I'm about to preach: authentic vulnerability over comfortable validation. And what I'm seeing in my therapy practice lately has me genuinely concerned. Couples are now bringing printed transcripts of their spouse's ChatGPT conversations to sessions. People are outsourcing their moral compass, their conflict resolution, and even their emotional intimacy to large language models. And here's what terrifies me: these tools are designed to always agree with you, to validate you, to keep you comfortable and coming back for more. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why ChatGPT's constant validation is training us to be weaker, not wiser—and what virtues we're losing in the process ✅ The four-letter word (ending in K) that Dr. Anna Lembke says is essential for relationships, and why AI is replacing it ✅ How couples are choosing the comfort of a machine over the necessary discomfort of real conversation ✅ Why feelings have been promoted to the highest authority—and how that's destroying our ability to live morally ✅ The difference between being affirmed and being guided, between feeling understood and being told the truth ✅ What patience, perseverance, repentance, and humility have to do with your marriage's survival (and why AI will never ask these of you) I'm not anti-technology—I use ChatGPT myself for grocery store calculations and meal planning. But when it comes to relationships, moral discernment, and the formation of your character, we need to understand what we're surrendering when we choose algorithmic comfort over human connection. Featuring insights from psychiatrist Dr. Anna Lembke's conversation on The Diary of a CEO about the "drugification of human connection" and addiction to digital validation. 🔔 Remember: A machine that always agrees with you is not your friend. It's not a guide. And it can never replace your conscience. Real love—the kind that sustains a marriage and builds a family—requires the very things AI will never demand from you: patience, sacrifice, humility, and the willingness to be wrong. The danger isn't that machines will become too powerful. It's that we'll become too passive—handing over our agency, our judgment, and our conscience, not because we're forced to, but because it feels easy. ======================================================== Dr. Anna Lembke reference: Psychiatrist and author of "Dopamine Nation" Featured on: The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett Topic discussed: Addiction, dopamine, and the drugification of human connection through AI

    50 min
  3. Episode #86: Eric Zeitler (Part 2) on Why Your Husband Won't Lead—And What's Really Stopping Him

    JAN 27

    Episode #86: Eric Zeitler (Part 2) on Why Your Husband Won't Lead—And What's Really Stopping Him

    In this second conversation with Licensed Professional Counselor Eric Zeitler, we tackle one of the most frustrating dynamics in modern Catholic marriages: leadership. Or more accurately, the lack of it. Women tell me constantly that their husbands won't step up. Men tell Eric they don't know how—or worse, that they've tried and been shut down. Eric doesn't sugarcoat it: leadership in marriage requires two things. First, a willingness to sacrifice—to fall on the sword first, to put your comfort second. Second, the ability to make a final decision and commit to it. But here's what most people miss: good leadership isn't authoritarian. It requires curiosity, communication, and humility. It means listening to your wife, understanding what's happening in your home, and making decisions together even when you're the one who has to take final responsibility. We also dig into why so many men resort to sending their wives Instagram reels or YouTube videos instead of actually talking. Spoiler: it's not because they're trying to be hurtful. It's because they don't know how to ask for what they need. They're comparing themselves to other men, feeling powerless, and searching for a script that will finally make them feel heard. I'll walk you through: ✅ What leadership actually means for a husband—and why it's not about being a tyrant ✅ Why fear (not laziness or apathy) is the real reason men won't step up ✅ How women unknowingly shut down their husband's authority—and what to do instead ✅ The role of recognition and appreciation in helping men feel seen (and why it matters more than you think) ✅ Why social media is poisoning marriages with unrealistic expectations on both sides ✅ How Eric and his wife navigated major career risks during pregnancy—and why trust mattered more than stability ✅ The discipline dilemma: why consistency between spouses is more important than being "the tough parent" Whether your husband feels paralyzed by fear, you're frustrated by his silence, or you're both stuck in a pattern of criticism and withdrawal, this conversation offers real, practical insight into what's breaking down—and how to rebuild with humility, curiosity, and faith. 🔔 Remember: Marriage is risk. Leadership is risk. But stability doesn't come from avoiding risk—it comes from trusting each other enough to take it together. ======================================================== Eric's relevant links: Website: https://imagodeihealinginstitute.com Instagram: @imagodeihealinginstitute

    59 min
  4. Episode #85: Eric Zeitler (Part 1) on Why Trauma Isn't Just "In Your Head" - And How Faith Helps Heal It

    JAN 20

    Episode #85: Eric Zeitler (Part 1) on Why Trauma Isn't Just "In Your Head" - And How Faith Helps Heal It

    In this first part of a two-part conversation, Licensed Professional Counselor Eric Zeitler opens up about his innovative approach to therapy that honors both psychological science and Catholic faith. As founder of the Imago Dei Healing Institute, Eric has dedicated his practice to helping clients heal deep wounds while respecting their deeply held values—a balance many Catholics struggle to find in traditional therapy settings. Eric shares the powerful story that launched his mission: watching someone close to him refuse therapy after a counselor dismissed their faith during grief work. This experience shaped his commitment to creating a space where faith and healing work together, not against each other. His approach goes far beyond just being "faith-friendly"—it actively integrates Catholic anthropology with cutting-edge trauma therapies. I'll walk you through: ✅ What Image Transformation Therapy is and how micro-exposure techniques can heal addiction and trauma at the root ✅ Why processing the feeling behind addictive behaviors is more effective than willpower alone ✅ How childhood trauma blocks our ability to receive God's love (and what to do about it) ✅ The surprising connection between masculine "toughness" and deep vulnerability—and why real strength requires both ✅ Why anger is often a man's default communication style and how to help him find alternatives ✅ The critical role of breathing and self-regulation in breaking destructive patterns ✅ How Catholic values shape therapeutic goals without turning therapy into spiritual direction Whether you're searching for a therapist who respects your faith, struggling with unresolved trauma, or trying to understand why you can't seem to "just trust God" despite wanting to, Eric offers compassionate insight into the healing journey. His work reminds us that acknowledging our wounds isn't weakness—it's the pathway to authentic strength and deeper relationship with God and others. 🔔 Remember: Healing isn't about toughing it out alone. True courage means acknowledging where you need help, doing the hard work to understand your patterns, and trusting the process—even when it feels uncomfortable. ======================================================== Eric's relevant links: Website: https://imagodeihealinginstitute.com Instagram: @imagodeihealinginstitute Note: This is Part 1 of 2. In Part 2, we'll dive deeper into how to practically integrate Catholic faith into the healing process.

    56 min
  5. Episode #84: Stop Blaming Men. Stop Blaming Women. Start Telling the Truth.

    JAN 13

    Episode #84: Stop Blaming Men. Stop Blaming Women. Start Telling the Truth.

    In this solo episode, I'm addressing something that's been showing up constantly in my therapy room—and frankly, it's been irritating me more and more. Husbands are sending their wives viral videos that essentially say: "This is why I'm losing attraction to you. This is what you're doing wrong." And I need to talk about why this isn't helping anyone. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why sending your wife a video that blames her destroys communication before it even starts ✅ The dangerous message behind "men pull away because women lose their softness" ✅ Why understanding someone's unhappiness doesn't justify abandoning your marriage vows ✅ The truth about men being "visual" and why boundaries aren't insecurity ✅ How shaming women for having emotions won't lead to better conversations ✅ What my husband and sons actually said when I showed them these videos ✅ Why performative femininity designed to impress men doesn't help women at all ✅ How to respond when your husband sends you one of these videos (without starting World War III) Here's what I want you to hear: Yes, women have blind spots. Yes, we can be defensive, overly emotional, and struggle with accountability. But so can men. And videos that frame everything as the wife's fault aren't designed to help marriages—they're designed to get views. If you've been sent one of these videos, you're not crazy for feeling hurt. If you've sent one, I hope you'll understand why it landed the way it did. And if you're creating content about marriage, please—stop performing for one gender at the expense of the other. Real growth happens when both people feel safe enough to be honest. Not when one person gets handed ammunition disguised as "truth." 🔔 Remember: Marriage isn't about winning. It's about coming back to the table over and over again, even when things get hard. Choose voices that help you speak honestly inside your relationship—not retreat from it.

    42 min
  6. Episode #83: Brenda Prato on Beyond Romance: What the Church Really Asks Before You Say "I Do"

    JAN 6

    Episode #83: Brenda Prato on Beyond Romance: What the Church Really Asks Before You Say "I Do"

    In this episode, I sit down with Brenda Prato, a canon lawyer from Malta who serves as Defender of the Bond in the Archdiocese of Liverpool and as a collegial judge in the Archdiocese of Armagh. As a married mother of two pursuing her doctorate in canon law at KU Leuven, Brenda brings both professional expertise and deeply personal insight to one of the Church's most misunderstood processes: marriage annulments. I'll walk you through: ✅ What consent actually means in marriage—and why it's so much more than romance ✅ The difference between covenant and contract in Catholic marriage theology ✅ How canon lawyers examine everything from childhood to the wedding day to understand validity ✅ Why "I got an annulment, so you will too" is a dangerous misconception ✅ What marriage consummation really means (and why most people get it wrong) ✅ The unique perspective women canon lawyers bring to tribunal work ✅ When the Church can dissolve a valid marriage (it's rare, but it happens) ✅ How pregnancy before marriage, doubts on the wedding day, and even being late to the ceremony reveal deeper truths Whether you're navigating a difficult marriage, considering an annulment, or simply curious about what the Church actually teaches, Brenda offers clarity on a process shrouded in misconception. Her approach beautifully balances legal precision with pastoral compassion—she prays over every case, seeking moral certitude while honoring the human stories behind the paperwork. 🔔 Remember: The point of annulment isn't to punish or judge—it's to uncover truth. And truth, even when painful, is always rooted in love. ======================================================== Brenda's relevant links: Website: https://brendaprato.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brenda-prato/

    1h 1m
  7. Episode #82: Faith Deepened This Year— Not Because Life Got Easier.  Here's Why

    2025-12-30

    Episode #82: Faith Deepened This Year— Not Because Life Got Easier. Here's Why

    As I record this on December 30th, I'm not in the space of big resolutions or grand declarations for 2025. Instead, I'm sitting with what I've been noticing—about aging, about faith, about what actually sustains us when life shifts beneath our feet. At 57 (turning 58 in February), I'm discovering something unexpected: the less I try to control, the freer I feel. It's not that life has gotten easier—it hasn't. But I'm learning to trust more and grip less, and that shift has changed everything. In this New Year's reflection, I share what's been on my heart: ✅ Why the 40s might be the hardest decade, but post-55 brings a different kind of freedom ✅ The quiet loneliness I'm witnessing in widowed parents—and what it's teaching me about companionship ✅ How my faith has deepened not despite suffering, but through learning to surrender it ✅ Why material things matter less and lasting relationships matter infinitely more ✅ The beauty hiding in ordinary moments—if we slow down enough to see them ✅ What's changing with this podcast in 2025 (hint: fewer topics, more life) I'm also opening up about the realities of aging—the one-week vacation that now takes six days to recover from, the back pain that humbles me, the friend who just became a grandparent and made me realize that season isn't far off. These aren't complaints; they're invitations to pay attention to what we have while we have it. This episode isn't about answers or advice. It's about reflection, gratitude, and the shift that happens when you stop trying to have everything figured out. Consider this less like a lesson and more like sitting down for coffee together on a cold Sunday morning. 🔔 Remember: Your life can change in seconds through a phone call, a text, an accident. What we have is precious. The question isn't whether we'll face suffering—it's whether we'll learn to surrender it and find meaning in the ordinary days we're given. Thank you for listening, for being here, and for walking into this new year with me. I'll meet you back here in January.

    40 min
  8. Episode #81: Dani Spies on How Your Nervous System And Diet Work Together

    2025-12-23

    Episode #81: Dani Spies on How Your Nervous System And Diet Work Together

    In this episode, health and eating psychology coach Dani Spies shares her transformative journey from chronic dieting to food freedom. As the founder and host of Clean and Delicious, Dani helps women build healthier relationships with food, body, and weight—without restriction or rigid meal plans. Her turning point? Becoming pregnant and finally giving herself permission to stop trying to "fix" her body. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why dieting from a young age created the very problems Dani was trying to solve ✅ How pregnancy became her pivotal transformation moment when she stopped fighting her body ✅ The surprising eight pounds Dani lost in Italy eating pasta and pesto (and what that taught her about stress and eating) ✅ Why chronic restriction creates a pendulum effect that leads to binge eating and food addiction ✅ How our nervous system state affects digestion, metabolism, and our ability to feel satisfied ✅ The overlooked power of sitting down, slowing down, and breathing before meals ✅ Why naturally sweet whole foods like sweet potatoes reduce sugar cravings more than restriction ever could ✅ How calorie counting and food tracking can disconnect you from your body's wisdom ✅ Why focusing on "what to eat" is actually the easiest part—it's the how and why that matter most Whether you're exhausted from diet culture, struggling with emotional eating, or simply want to enjoy food without guilt, Dani offers a refreshingly practical approach to nourishment. Her story reminds us that our bodies aren't problems to be solved but allies seeking balance, and that true food freedom comes from kindness, not control. 🔔 Remember: Your body craves homeostasis. The tighter you grip, the harder it swings back. Peace with food begins when you stop fighting yourself and start listening. ======================================================== Dani's relevant links: Website: https://cleananddelicious.com Instagram: @clean_and_delicious YouTube: @CleanandDeliciousDani Facebook: @CleanAndDeliciousWithDaniSpies

    48 min
5
out of 5
23 Ratings

About

From the therapy room of a registered psychotherapist, dating coach and solopreneur who has tirelessly attempted a 'healthy' work-life balance for 25 years, it rarely existed for me and likely does not for most business owners, entrepreneurs and executives. The truth is relationships can really suffer. I will be interviewing expert guests who are doing things right so we can all learn to mix business with pleasure. Topics will range from building better relationships, connection, dating, and how to spread more kindness and compassion towards others while doing so. Listeners, you have the right to have passion surrounding your work while maintaining passionate relationships. You can have your cake and eat it too. New episodes premiere every Tuesday.