SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google and make money from your website with practical SEO tips

Nikki Pilkington
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This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO b******s currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking b******s about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete b******s. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh b******t faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.

  1. Why Websites Built With AI Are Fu*king Up Your SEO

    17 HRS AGO

    Why Websites Built With AI Are Fu*king Up Your SEO

    "AI can build your whole website in 10 minutes," they said. "Save a fortune," they said. And now you're wondering why nobody can find you on Google. Yeah. About that. Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO Fking What", I'm kicking off a three-part series on AI-built websites — why people are doing it, why I completely get it, and why I still think it's a fking bad idea if you don't understand what you're getting yourself into. I also give you a quick homework task — a 30-second H1 check you can do right now that might reveal the single biggest SEO problem on your website. This is part one of three. If you know someone about to launch an AI-built site without a second thought, send them this first. It might save them months of invisible damage. Get found. Make money. Know AI's limitations. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    11 min
  2. Stop Buying Backlinks FFS! Here are your REAL link building tactics.

    MAY 3

    Stop Buying Backlinks FFS! Here are your REAL link building tactics.

    "Someone sitting in your LinkedIn DMs right now is offering you backlinks for 99. Someone else wants to charge you five a month for a robust link building campaign. And I'm here to tell you that for most small B2B service websites, both of them can fuck right off." Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, I'm calling out one of the most expensive myths in SEO — that spending money on backlinks is something small B2B service businesses need to do. It isn't. And I've got 30 years of evidence to prove it. Here’s what I’m covering: Why Google’s original algorithm got gamed almost immediately — and how the link building industry was born from exploiting itThe Penguin update of 2012: why thousands of legitimate businesses lost their rankings overnight, while the agencies who sold them manipulative links quietly updated their service pages and moved onWhat Google actually confirmed in 2024 about how much links matter now (their words: “we’ve made links less important”)Why the link building industry is still thriving — despite selling something worth a fraction of what it once wasThe free, legitimate links you’re probably already entitled to through professional memberships and directories — and not usingWhy on-page SEO, quality content, and a well-structured website will do more for your rankings than any link package sold by someone who DMed you 15 minutes after following you on LinkedIn I also give you a proper piece of homework this week. Three things to do right now. None of them cost a penny. If you’re currently paying for a link building package — or you’ve ever been tempted — listen to this first. It might save you a lot of money and a lot of future headaches. Get found. Make money. Stop buying fucking backlinks. Links mentionedNon-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com Google Search Console (backlink report — Legacy Tools, bottom of left-hand menu): https://search.google.com/search-console/ Ahrefs Free Backlink Checker: https://ahrefs.com/backlink-checker Follow Nikki LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    14 min
  3. Your Meta descriptions are fu*ked! I'll help you fix 'em.

    APR 26

    Your Meta descriptions are fu*ked! I'll help you fix 'em.

    Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm talking about the one bit of SEO that isn't a ranking factor but is absolutely the thing that decides whether anyone actually clicks on your listing — your meta descriptions. You've probably never written one, duplicated the same one across your whole site, or let Yoast bully you into stuffing it with keywords. All three are f****d. Here's what I'm covering: — Why your meta description isn't a ranking factor — but still decides whether anyone clicks — What a good meta description actually does (and the 155-character rule) — Why Google bolds search terms, and why that matters for getting clicks — The parade of horrors: missing descriptions, duplicate descriptions, and corporate waffle — Why the Yoast green light isn't the goal — writing for a human is — A proper before-and-after for an HR consultant that shows you exactly what to write — The Mark Williams-Cook argument for not writing them at all — and why I still say you should, for small B2B sites I also give you proper homework. Three things to do this week that will sort out your meta descriptions without taking all day. If you know someone whose search result description reads like it was written by a committee, send them this. It might be the reason they're not getting the clicks they deserve. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Write it for a human. Links mentioned:Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com SearchPilot meta description research: https://www.searchpilot.com Follow Nikki:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    15 min
  4. Your H1 and Meta Titles Are Killing Your Rankings FFS!

    APR 19

    Your H1 and Meta Titles Are Killing Your Rankings FFS!

    Your homepage H1 says “Welcome.” Your meta title says “Home.” And you’re wondering why Google won’t rank you. In this episode, Nikki Pilkington explains why H1s and meta titles are two different jobs, why making them identical is a missed opportunity, and why making them disconnected is actively killing your SEO. You’ll learn how to think of your meta title as the promise and your H1 as the delivery, why “Helping your people thrive” is not a heading, why your company name almost certainly doesn’t belong in your H1, and why Yoast’s green smiley face is not a ranking factor. There’s homework at the end — a proper site audit you can do this week without spending a penny. Chapters0:00 Why Titles Kill Rankings 1:57 What Meta Titles & H1s Actually Are 4:09 Making Them Match the Search 6:05 Your Homepage H1 Needs Work 7:20 Why Your Company Name Isn’t Your H1 7:49 Yoast Isn’t Your Brain 9:00 Your Homework This Week 10:50 Non-Wanky On-Page SEO Course Course mentionedNon-Wanky On-Page SEO — £200 or £20/month: https://nonwankyseo.com Tools mentionedGoogle Search Console: https://search.google.com/search-console Previous episodes referenced— Episode 13 — Stop Blogging Like It's a Diary— Episode 14 — Your Competitors SEO Geniuses?...— Episode 19 — Google Search Console... Follow Nikki Website: https://nikki-pilkington.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    14 min
  5. SEO Conference Organisers; Where The F__k Are The Women?

    APR 5

    SEO Conference Organisers; Where The F__k Are The Women?

    This week I've gone off script. Someone posted about an SEO conference billing itself as the UK's most advanced -- sixteen speakers, all male, not one woman on the bill. I said something about it. The response was, essentially, "we had women last year." And here we are. This episode isn't about quotas or ticking boxes. It's about the fact that brilliant women in SEO exist, they're not hiding, and if your speaker lineup is sixteen mainly white men, the question you need to be asking is whether anyone actually went looking. In this episode: Why "we had women last year" is the laziest defence in the industryThe women in SEO who should be on every conference organiser's radarWhy the "we book who applies" argument falls apart when you think it throughWhat conference organisers actually need to do differentlyAnd a word for the women in SEO who keep talking themselves out of putting their hand up Women I mention in this episode: Lily Ray, Helen Pollitt, Areej AbuAli, Carrie Rose, Lidia Infante, Jo Furnival, Alice Rowan. Want to find more women in SEO? Start with Women in Tech SEO at womenintechseo.com and WTSFest. Want me to speak at your event? I'm an SEO speaker, I'm a woman, and I'm available. No waffle, no jargon, no death by slide deck. Hit me up at nikki@nikki-pilkington.com Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    9 min
  6. Google Search Console, Because SEO Ranking Starts With Proper Website Structure

    MAR 29

    Google Search Console, Because SEO Ranking Starts With Proper Website Structure

    Your website could be full of brilliant content and still not rank. Why? Because Google can't figure out how your pages connect. That's what we're fixing today. Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm tackling one of the most overlooked parts of SEO — website structure. Not the sexy stuff. The stuff that actually makes your site work. How your pages connect, how Google moves around your site, and why getting this wrong means even your best content struggles to rank. Here's what I'm covering: — Why your website is like a building, and what happens when Google can't follow the corridors — What a clear hierarchy looks like and why your most important pages need to be close to the top — Orphan pages: what they are, why they're costing you, and how to find and fix them in an afternoon — Internal linking — the most underused free tool in SEO — and how to actually use it properly — Why your link text matters more than you realise (and why "click here" is doing absolutely nothing for you) — URLs, 301 redirects, XML sitemaps, and why submitting to Google Search Console is non-negotiable I also give you proper homework. Four things to do this week. None of them cost money. All of them will make a difference. If you've done your content audit and now you're ready to sort out your structure, this is the episode you need. And if you know someone whose website is a complete jumble with no logic to how it's connected, send them this. It might save them months of confusion. Get found. Make money. Link properly. Useful links: Non Wanky On-Page SEO Toolkit: https://nonwankyseo.com Google Search Console: https://search.google.com/search-console Screaming Frog: https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/ Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    14 min
  7. You Haven't Read Your Own Website, Have You? Time For a Content Audit!

    MAR 22

    You Haven't Read Your Own Website, Have You? Time For a Content Audit!

    When did you last actually read every page of your website? Not edit it, not skim it — read it like a visitor would. If the answer is “I can’t remember” or “never” — this episode is for you. Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, I’m walking you through one of the most unglamorous but genuinely useful things you can do for your SEO — a content audit. Not to make your life miserable, but because Google crawls every single page on your website, and right now some of those pages are actively working against you. Here’s what I’m covering: Why most website owners have no idea how many pages they actually have (and why that’s a problem)How to build a simple URL spreadsheet without needing any fancy toolsThe intent column — and why filling it in manually is the bit that actually mattersThe four questions to ask about every single page: Is it helpful? Is it current? Did AI write it (properly)? Does it have a call to action?Why re-dating old posts doesn’t fool Google — and what to actually do insteadWhy unedited AI content is probably hurting your rankings more than helping themThe Keep / Fix / Kill framework — and the priority order for tackling each categoryWhy a smaller, tighter website often outperforms a sprawling one full of filler I also give you a proper piece of homework. Not the “I’ll do it someday” kind. The start-your-spreadsheet-this-week kind. If you know someone who hasn’t properly looked at their website in years, send them this. It might save them from a very unpleasant surprise. Get found. Make money. Go look at your content. Links mentioned: Screaming Frog SEO Spider: https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/seo-spider/ Crawly: https://crawly.diffbot.com/ Non-Wanky SEO Course: https://nonwankyseo.com Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Chapters: 00:00 — When did you last actually read your website? 00:15 — Welcome to SEO F**king What 00:26 — Why today builds on the last episode 00:38 — Why a content audit sounds boring but isn’t 00:58 — How many pages does your website actually have? 01:22 — Why Google crawls everything 01:40 — The content that actively hurts your rankings 02:20 — What a content audit reveals 02:32 — Step 1: The spreadsheet 03:13 — Step 2: The intent column 03:42 — Tools for bigger sites: Screaming Frog and Crawley 04:34 — Question 1: Is it helpful? 05:34 — Question 2: Is it current? 06:10 — Question 3: Did AI write it? 07:15 — Question 4: Does it have a call to action? 08:31 — You’ve got your spreadsheet. Now what? 09:04 — The Non-Wanky SEO course 09:27 — Keep / Fix / Kill: what to do with each page 09:36 — Leave your working pages alone 09:56 — Update helpful-but-outdated pages 10:28 — Rewrite pages with potential (keep the URL) 10:54 — Deal with unedited AI content properly 11:13 — Consider deleting purposeless pages 11:48 — Your homework 12:27 — Next episode: website structure and internal linking Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    15 min
  8. Ranking Number 1 on Google is Useless, FFS. Let me explain...

    MAR 15

    Ranking Number 1 on Google is Useless, FFS. Let me explain...

    I'm going to say something that's going to upset a lot of people who've been bragging about their rankings: being number one for a single word is fucking useless. There. I said it. Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm calling out one of the most persistent and damaging myths in SEO — that keywords are either dead entirely, or that you should be obsessing over ranking for the shortest, broadest, most competitive terms possible. Both of these positions are b******s, and I'm going to explain why. Here's what I'm covering: — Why old-school keyword stuffing is dead (but keywords absolutely aren't) — Why every search is a real person with a real need, and why that changes everything — The four types of search intent and why matching them is the difference between traffic and clients — Why "zero search volume" phrases might be your most valuable SEO real estate — Why ranking number one for "copywriter" or "accountant" will bring you exactly the wrong people — How to think in topic journeys instead of keyword lists, and why that builds the kind of trust that converts I also give you a proper piece of homework. Not the "might do that one day" kind. The actual do-it-this-week kind. If you know someone obsessing over ranking for a single broad keyword and wondering why they're not getting enquiries, send them this. It might save them months of wasted effort. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Start giving a shit about your readers. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.comGoogle's People Also Ask: Just search for anything on Google and look for the expandable questionsAlso Asked: https://alsoasked.com/?via=nikki-pilkington (aff link) Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social

    14 min
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About

This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO b******s currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking b******s about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete b******s. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh b******t faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.

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