In Between Them

Shannon Darrow
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Personal Journals

Divorce shapes childhood in ways parents often can't see—especially when they're in the middle of an emotional fog, fear, or in survival mode. In Between Them is a parenting podcast that brings forward the voices we rarely hear: the children of divorce, now grown, reflecting on the experiences that shaped them. Hosted by an entrepreneur and mother who navigated her own divorce with a newborn, this family dynamics podcast offers personal understanding and professional insight in every conversation. Raised in a traditional nuclear family but later thrust into a co-parenting reality, the host believes every story matters—because children don't choose divorce, yet they feel its ripples the most. Each episode features honest, vulnerable storytelling from people who lived through their parents' divorce. Some stories are painful. Some are healing and inspiring. All of them reveal what truly impacts a child when a family changes—and what helps them thrive. Unlike most parenting podcasts focused on legal advice or therapy perspectives, this show centers the lived experience of the children themselves, providing clarity for parents who want to make better, more thoughtful, child-centered decisions. Whether you're a parent, professional, or someone who lived it yourself, you'll find wisdom, compassion, and guidance in these conversations. Because understanding the child's perspective might just be the key to doing divorce better. If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce, or in the midst of it, these stories can change a child's life forever. To contribute your own story, please contact sdarrow@onward-mc.com directly. New episodes weekly.

  1. 1d ago

    45. The Coparent Collective - Hallie & Kate Talk About How People Can Do Divorce Better

    In this expert episode, I sit down with Hallie and Kate — the two women behind The Coparent Collective, a mission-aligned partnership built on a simple, powerful idea: catch divorcing families earlier, before the damage, distrust, and negativity have a chance to take root. Hallie and Kate have each spent years supporting families through divorce in their own practices. What they've seen — again and again — is that by the time most families seek help, a lot of harm has already been done. Not because anyone wanted to hurt their kids. Because no one told them, early enough, what was possible. That's what The Coparent Collective is here to change. A few of the frames and phrases from this conversation that will stick with you long after the episode ends: "Spouse mind vs. parent mind." Divorcing adults operate from two very different headspaces — and knowing which one you're in when you make a decision can change the outcome entirely. "Voice, not choice." A simple reframe that gives kids a seat at the table without putting them in the middle. "Validate, don't commiserate." The difference between supporting a child's feelings and accidentally cementing a child's narrative about the other parent. Small shift. Huge consequences. The reminder that most "divorce issues" are actually parenting issues — divorce just acts as a magnifying glass on the parenting that was already there. The sad parts of their work, the big wins, and the parts that still move them after years of doing this. These moments are some of the most honest you'll hear on this show. If you are divorcing, newly divorced, or supporting someone who is — this is one of the most quietly important conversations I've recorded. Hallie and Kate are doing exactly the kind of upstream, child-centered work that I hope every divorcing family finds their way to. Every episode I release is one more chance that a parent may hear what's possible, do divorce better, and change a child's life. The Coparent Collective and In Between Them are aligned in our dreams for kids — one story, one family at a time. Find The Coparent Collective: Website: thecoparentcollective.com Instagram: @thecoparentcollective In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

  2. Nov 2

    44. Mike - 7 years old - He Asked To Live With Dad at 12 and That Changed His Life Forever

    Mike was 7 years old when his parents divorced. Nearly 50 years later, the memory is still vivid. He had an older brother, and when the news came, he was genuinely shocked — he hadn't seen it coming. It was the late 1970s, and Mike brings a thoughtful lens to this conversation on how the cultural moment itself — the rise of feminism, women entering the workforce, and the broader shift toward female independence — may have been one of the invisible forces reshaping families like his. His father worked for IBM, and after the brief unraveling of home life, Dad moved about three hours away. What followed was years of steady monthly visits — Mike's dad made the drive, showed up for sporting events, stayed present even at distance. The parents never attended the same events at the same time, but they both kept showing up in their own ways. Holidays were split between the two homes, but no matter which parent was technically "on" for Thanksgiving, every Thanksgiving was spent at Mike's maternal grandparents' house. Those grandparents were a quietly powerful stabilizing force throughout his childhood — another echo of a theme that runs through so many of my episodes. Life at his mother's home was less steady. There were multiple husbands over the years and two additional half-siblings, which created a different kind of chaos than the quiet absence of his father. And so at 12 years old, Mike did something that would alter the trajectory of his entire life: he asked his dad if he could come live with him. His dad shocked him by saying yes. Mike speaks about that single decision as one of the most pivotal moments of his life. He lived out his high school years with his father, and to this day he carries an enormous amount of gratitude — for his dad, and for his stepmother, who opened their home and made that transition possible. He is quick to say they allowed him to thrive in ways he isn't sure he would have otherwise. The cost, which Mike speaks about openly, was his relationship with his mother. That move forever changed it, and it is still affected today. He has tried, as an adult, to communicate his perspective on his childhood to her, and their views of what happened and what he needed remain very different. He speaks with care and with compassion about both parents. But he is also honest: his dad was the one who allowed him to thrive. This is a story about the long tail of divorce — about decades of showing up, about the moments that quietly change everything, about how one yes from a parent can rewrite a child's entire adult life. And it is a story about the quiet, decades-long cost of a child asking for something that one parent couldn't quite give. Mike's book recommendation: Princes and Thieves. In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

  3. Oct 26

    43. Vivienne - 10 years old - Her Parents Did Divorce Well. She Called It a Happy Thing.

    Vivienne was in 5th grade — about 10 years old — when her parents told her and her brother they were getting divorced. In this episode, we get something rarely told on In Between Them: a story of a divorce done well. Not frictionless. Not perfect. But handled, in every way that mattered, with the children at the center. What stands out immediately is how Vivienne frames the news itself. She describes the divorce as a "happy thing" — because her parents weren't happy — and even at 10, she wasn't surprised. Her parents had been intentional about how they told them, what words they used, and the frame they offered: this is a good thing, for everyone. The kids believed it. Then they watched that belief get validated in how the family actually moved forward. That alone — the care around the words at the beginning — set the shape of everything that followed. A few of the things that made Vivienne's experience so different: She went through it alongside her brother, and their family pet traveled back and forth with them. Both of those details, she says, mattered more than people realize. Her parents started with a 2-2-3 schedule, but it proved to be too much. When Mom and Dad later moved to new places, the schedule needed to change — and here is where the real difference showed up. There was no resentment. No fighting. No demanding. The parenting time evolved based on what made sense for the kids, not on what was fair between the adults. Flexibility, Vivienne says, is what kept the conflict and tension and animosity from ever taking root. She saw a divorce therapist as a kid, and she is grateful for that in a way that she wishes more adult children of divorce had access to. The therapist helped her navigate her dad's remarriage — one of the harder beats of any divorce for a child — without the alone-ness that so many kids carry through that transition. As a young adult, Vivienne gained the clarity so many of my guests have described. She was able to get answers to questions she'd carried, and even voice some resentment that had quietly accumulated. The conversations opened space for healing. And she arrived at an insight that is becoming a quiet refrain across my episodes: "my parents were doing this for the first time too." That reframe changed her expectations and softened the edges of a story that could easily have hardened. For Vivienne, divorce is simply something she expects to see in families. When she meets a friend whose parents have been together for decades, she finds it a little strange — a telling marker of how normalized this experience is for her generation. If you are a parent going through a divorce right now, this episode is worth sitting with. It's a real-world example of what's possible when parents keep their kids out of the middle, choose flexibility over rigidity, and start with words that give their children a frame of permission to be okay with what's happening. The words at the beginning matter. The flexibility along the way matters. And a child who is thriving on the other side of a divorce is possible. In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

  4. Oct 19

    42. Shannon - Solo - 10 Things Parents Can Do To Do Divorce Better For The Kids

    Over 40 episodes of In Between Them, I've sat across from adults who were kids when their parents divorced — different ages, different cultures, different kinds of families. And when I ask each of them at the end of their episodes what their parents could have done differently, the answers overlap more than you'd ever expect. So today, I'm giving you a list. Ten things — not from me, not from a textbook, but from the mouths of the kids themselves, now grown up. Ten things that, if parents going through divorce would actually do them, would meaningfully change what their children carry for the rest of their lives. If you're divorcing, newly divorced, or deep into co-parenting right now — this is the one to bookmark. Share it. Come back to it. These are not opinions. They are patterns I've heard again and again. Some of what I pull from the kids themselves: The surprising thing almost every guest said about stepparents — and why welcoming them in may be one of the most protective choices you can make. What the kids who were pulled into their parents' court cases wish you knew. The one sentence Amanda wishes someone had just said to her, plainly, out loud, when her parents divorced. (Spoiler: it's free. It takes four seconds. Most parents never say it.) Why Kelly — now the mother of an estranged son — sends him a text every week knowing it won't be answered. And why that's the model for how to show up when a child pulls away. The clinical reason Carol Barkes gave for why a single zinger between adults, in front of a kid, undoes everything else you've tried to build. And the number one thing, cited by nearly every single guest, that parents could do to meaningfully change the shape of their children's lives. It will not surprise you. It is free. It is entirely in your control. And almost no divorcing parent manages to actually do it consistently. Tune in for the full list, with the specific stories, the specific guests, and the specific tools behind each one. This episode is designed to be the one you share with the divorcing friend, the client, the family member — anyone who is in the middle of this right now and needs a clear, practical, kid-centered guide. Share this episode. Save this episode. Come back to it when things feel hard. In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

  5. Oct 12

    41. Shannon - Solo - 40 Stories In. Here’s What They Have Taught Me.

    40 episodes in. For the first time on In Between Them, it's just me. I started this show thinking I was starting a podcast. 40 guests later, I've realized I was really starting a listening practice — and the patterns that have come up, from people with wildly different ages, backgrounds, cultures, and family stories, have stopped surprising me and started teaching me. In this solo episode, I pull together the common threads that run through almost every single conversation I've had on this show. Among them: The "I'm fine" myth that so many adult children of divorce live inside — sometimes for decades — until adulthood or parenthood quietly unpacks it. The surprising role of stepparents, who turned out to be the unsung heroes of so many of my guests' childhoods. The parentified kids — the ones who were asked, implicitly or explicitly, to carry adult-sized things on children's shoulders. The grandparent anchor — and why extended family may be the single most protective factor when a divorce fractures a nuclear one. The triangulation and disparagement pattern that nearly every guest named as the most damaging dynamic of all — and what my experts, like neuroscience-of-conflict specialist Carol Barkes and matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman, have taught us about why it hurts kids so profoundly. The hard truth almost every guest arrived at eventually: the pain of divorce doesn't end when the papers are signed. For the children, especially, it is often only the beginning. And finally, the redemption that gives this show its purpose: the gift of this pain, when it's processed and named, is a changed generation. Nearly every guest I've had has become the parent they didn't get. I also pull together the standout insights from the experts who've joined me — Carol Barkes on the neuroscience of conflict, Lisa Zeiderman on the legal and financial realities of modern divorce, Sol Kennedy on the AI co-parenting tool he built from his own experience of "dreading the ding," Ashley Noelle on intentional conversation inside blended families, and therapist Veronica on what a lifetime of family dynamics looks like all the way through to the nursing home years. If you're new to the show, this is a great place to start. If you've been here for all 40 — this one is for you. Thank you for listening, for sharing, and for every message you've sent that made me believe this work matters. In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

  6. Oct 5

    40. Craig - 7 years old - Two Homes, But No Home. The Father He Had, The Father He Became.

    I feel honored to have heard this difficult story from a man who has made a beautiful life for himself and his family, much different than the way he was raised. Craig was seven years old when the divorce hit. What followed was a childhood spent between two homes that were hard in very different ways — and often left him feeling like he had no real home in either. His father was mean, angry, quick to temper, and often behaved in ways that weren't appropriate for a young boy. And yet: at Dad's house, Craig could ride dirt bikes, fish, do the "boy stuff" his soul was hungry for. So he wanted to be there. And he wanted to leave. Both, at the same time. His mother remarried a man Craig could never quite relate to — and his mother herself was difficult at times. There was, in short, no consistent father figure in either home. Over the years, Craig's coaches became the closest thing he had to one, and he had no real-life model for what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. He describes his sisters and mother as loud; he describes himself as quiet. He often felt like an outcast in his own home. The pull between wanting his dad and needing to protect himself from his dad is the ache that shaped everything. It was manageable-ish while everyone was in the same region. Then his father moved to Northern California, and Craig had to give up his summers to see him — until he no longer wanted to. The relationship narrowed to phone calls, and his father was skilled at guilt-tripping across the line. When Craig finally stood up for himself as a senior in high school, it created a real rift. His father missed his high school graduation. There was a brief attempt at reconnection when Craig was in college up north; it didn't last. His father wasn't at his wedding. His father doesn't really know Craig's wife or their children. Craig speaks openly about the confusing mix that so many adult children carry: wanting a parent to be the parent, while confronting the hard truth that the person cannot safely be that. He and his father have had constant ups and downs, and it has never become anything more substantial than that. What this episode is really about, though — and what makes it worth every minute — is the gift Craig has made from all of it: he has become an extraordinarily loving, present, and involved father to his two sons. He communicates. He shows up. He is, in every measurable way, the father he needed and didn't get. That is the resolution — not with his own dad, but with the boys who now call him Dad. Craig's book recommendation: A Short Stay in Hell by Steven L. Peck. In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

  7. Sep 28

    39. Veronica - From Russia at 17. Alcoholic Dad. Critical Mom. Two Divorces. Breaking Every Cycle.

    Veronica isn't a child of divorce — but she is, in a very real sense, the perfect adult voice for the In Between Them mission. She grew up in Russia inside a deeply dysfunctional home, with an alcoholic father and a highly critical mother. At 17, she came to the United States. Since then, she has navigated two marriages, two divorces, and the raising of three children — with an unwavering commitment to not replicate any of what she experienced as a kid for the next generation. Veronica is also a therapist, which means she brings both lived experience and clinical insight to this conversation. Her insights on putting kids first — on what actually needs to happen at the adult level so children come out of divorce whole — are exactly the kind of practical, compassionate guidance this show exists to amplify. One thread we pull on that you'll want to hear in her own words: her time working in nursing homes and what she observed about elderly parents and their adult children. The dynamic that plays out in senior care is often the direct downstream of how families communicated (or didn't) decades earlier. The way a parent shows up in a child's life reverberates for the rest of both of their lives — not just in the kid years, not just in the divorce years, but literally into how kids show up for their parents at the end. Veronica has seen it firsthand, and it changes how you think about the choices you're making now. Whether you're navigating divorce, parenting through the aftermath, doing your own generational healing work, or all three at once, this conversation is one to sit with. Veronica is trying to shine a light on how parents, families, and — most importantly — kids can come out of hard family experiences whole. She was a pleasure to speak with. Veronica does not have a book recommendation this episode, but she is currently working on one of her own. When it drops, I'll be first in line. About Veronica: Veronica is a therapist, mother of three, and two-time divorced woman on a mission to help families do better, parents do better, and people divorce better. She creates content across YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook to help others break generational cycles and prioritize their children through the hardest chapters of family life. Find Veronica: YouTube: @thrivewithveronica Instagram: @thrivewithveronica Facebook: @thrivewithveronica In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

  8. Sep 21

    38. Bella - 18 years old - When Your Parents Divorce at 18, It's Not Any Easier. It Still Sucks.

    Bella was a child of divorce — but not a young one. She was 18 or 19 when her parents' marriage ended, and in this episode she articulates beautifully something that gets almost no airtime in the divorce conversation: what happens when parents treat their adult children like confidants. The divorce came as a shock. Almost immediately, Bella was put in the middle. She became a bridge — the shuttle diplomat, the message-carrier, the one who knew things she shouldn't have known and had to hold them anyway. She quickly learned to suppress her own feelings and to stay "transparent" as a strategy for avoiding conflict — because either parent could react negatively to her plans, her opinions, or her ongoing relationship with the other. The boundaries she eventually tried to set were not well received. The cost was concrete: she didn't go to college. She went to work to help out. Her responsibilities shifted overnight, and the path she thought she was walking into as a new adult was replaced by one nobody had asked her to walk. Being "old enough" did not protect her from any of it — in some ways it made things harder, because everyone around her, including her parents, assumed she was fine. Even now, in her own adulthood with her own child, she is still managing the logistics of which grandparent gets to come to which birthday party. The middle didn't dissolve when she grew up. Bella also opens up about her own divorce and the ways her upbringing has shaped how she parents her daughter today — including her hard, conscious commitment to never put her daughter between adults or use her as a bridge, the way she once was. Toward the end, we touch briefly on the support group she co-founded with two friends called My Two Homes — a resource we'll explore in much more depth in a future episode with all three co-founders. What Bella and her friends are building is exactly the thing so many adult children of divorce wish had existed for them. Bella's book recommendation: Signs by Tara Swart. Find Bella and her co-founders: Instagram: @mytwohomes In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach and mediator, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to share, or interested in being a guest? Reach Shannon directly at sdarrow@onward-mc.com. Follow the show on Instagram @inbetweenthempod, and if this episode resonated, please rate and review In Between Them on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it's the single most helpful thing you can do to help other adult children of divorce find the show.

See All (45)

About

Divorce shapes childhood in ways parents often can't see—especially when they're in the middle of an emotional fog, fear, or in survival mode. In Between Them is a parenting podcast that brings forward the voices we rarely hear: the children of divorce, now grown, reflecting on the experiences that shaped them. Hosted by an entrepreneur and mother who navigated her own divorce with a newborn, this family dynamics podcast offers personal understanding and professional insight in every conversation. Raised in a traditional nuclear family but later thrust into a co-parenting reality, the host believes every story matters—because children don't choose divorce, yet they feel its ripples the most. Each episode features honest, vulnerable storytelling from people who lived through their parents' divorce. Some stories are painful. Some are healing and inspiring. All of them reveal what truly impacts a child when a family changes—and what helps them thrive. Unlike most parenting podcasts focused on legal advice or therapy perspectives, this show centers the lived experience of the children themselves, providing clarity for parents who want to make better, more thoughtful, child-centered decisions. Whether you're a parent, professional, or someone who lived it yourself, you'll find wisdom, compassion, and guidance in these conversations. Because understanding the child's perspective might just be the key to doing divorce better. If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce, or in the midst of it, these stories can change a child's life forever. To contribute your own story, please contact sdarrow@onward-mc.com directly. New episodes weekly.

Information

  • Creator
    Shannon Darrow
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    45
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Shannon Darrow
  • Show Website
    In Between Them