Every Friday I make sure to gather my friends and family around my iPhone to listen to this podcast. We one time had a speaker that we could use in order to hear it better; but unfortunately, that speaker eventually wore out after we listened to the notorious “What’s Poppin’” theme song for ten hours. Dear reader, please wait! For I will come back and discuss this theme song later.
In order to improve our listening quality, Cousin Jeremy has the wonderful idea of cupping his hands around the phone to increase the volume of the podcast, so the room full of people could hear. Cousin Jeremy is a wonderful boy and easily the most handsome of my cousins.
We were giddily enjoying the podcast and anxiously awaiting our favourite segment “What’s Poppin’” (as promised eager reader, I will now discuss the aforementioned point). Brian Wecht, renowned musician, boasted of the high quality of the theme song. As regular listeners, my family and I were of course obliged to agree, for fear of being seen as tasteless fools. Frothing at the mouth, we hung on Brian’s every word, until he finally played the theme song. As is tradition, we began the family dance, with Gertrude (easily the most homely of my cousins) began aggressively gyrating her midsection.
Once the furor had abated, we were stunned when the guest exclaimed that they had not heard the theme song. I was the first to angrily hoot at my phone, raising my fist in fear and rage.
“THEY’RE LYING!” shrieked mother. Her bones rattled, her form ravaged by hard winters. “WE ALL HEARD IT!” She began to openly weep.
How dare the wicked Brian, force the radiant Leighton deliver such awful news to the audience. He had played a trick on all of us. He had not played any theme song! He had forced the guest to sit in silence, while making us, the listeners at home, be complicit in his lies.
Thank you Leighton, for being a stalwart guard of truth and integrity on this podcast. While I will continue to listen, my family has turned their collective back on the podcast.
I can only hope that your collective conduct improves. I can only be deceived so many times before I too will have to destroy my phone, so as to be rid of Wecht’s horrific games.
