As a woman, I find Dr. NerdLove’s suggestions often rely on problematic ideologies, and even rape rhetoric (even for questions ironically interested in AVOIDING patriarchal aggressions). So far the podcast and the written column have been a perfect combination of gross, disturbing, and problematic that I hope to never repeat :(
As proof, here’s an excerpt from his last written column, which suggested men evaluate women’s willingness to hook up based on their outfits — that’s right, the typical “she was asking for it — just look at her cleavage” line! (Dr. NerdLove’s credentials are questionable, at best, and reductive at worst, because the “she was asking for it” line is implicitly problematized with NerdLove’s other contradictory belief that women are too shy to actually ask for what they want, never mind go for it themselves): “While women may not be doing the approaching as often as men do, that doesn’t mean that they’re standing around doing nothing. As I told Shy Guy last time, women who are interested in being approached put quite a bit of effort into being approachable. From the way they dress to the way they signal to people they’re interested in that they’d appreciate someone coming to say hi, women are as active in the ol’ mating dance as men. [...] And then there’s the fact that may [sic] women are painfully shy. They may well be dying for someone to come talk to them but are absolutely terrified to make the first move. Being the person to come up to that wallflower and start a conversation would be a net positive, while leaving them to quietly kick themselves would be increasing the amount of distress in the world.” Gee thanks for the patronizing condescension regarding all females/femme-presenting/femme-feeling folks out there — if it wasn’t for your pick up lines, we’d just have so much distress. Please, I’m going to go #askcam
