Reading the Comments Podcast

Amanda Montei & Veronica Wong

Welcome to Reading the Comments 👀, a feminist podcast that digs into the comments sections of buzzy articles, essays, and social posts to figure out what the hell is going on— so you don’t have to. readingthecomments.substack.com

Episodes

  1. 2024-12-19

    "What grown up wants to live with someone who's mentally a child just because they're hot?"

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit readingthecomments.substack.com It’s officially the holiday season— and the end of our official season! Look out for updates from us in the new year, including a request for your suggestions for more bonus episodes. In the meantime, you can subscribe now to listen to the full season, including episodes on the Wicked press tour, parental (but really maternal) burnout, what happens women women write earnestly about male loneliness, and what we discovered about the gender divide when it comes to marital sex. We’d love to hang out in your ear as you escape from the holiday chaos. This week we’re doing a deep dive into one the many so-called “horny” romantic comedies we’ve been gifted this month, Netflix’s Hot Frosty, which is about a snowman who comes to life— with abs. It took us about ten minutes to get through the introduction to this episode because the title made us laugh so hard. But we edited most of that out and in this episode, we discuss in depth how chaste this film really is, the strange mother-son relationship that develops between a widow and a snow-man-turned-man-child, and why we love bad movies like this anyway. We also dig into how this movie—like others before it—taps into what women want, or what people think women want, post-election. And we ask all the burning questions that this movie alone could raise, such as: Are snowmen really genderless? Why is Lacey Chabert so cold? Is a woman paying for things and a man being nice but dumb really feminist progress? Do women just want a man who isn’t socialized as a man— but also, then, is kind of a baby—or is this actually a dark conservative view of female desire? Or has this strange (kinda hot but definitely not horny?) movie given us yet another narrative that demonstrates how heterosexual romantic love is built on the idea that women are expected to put themselves second and raise boys into men? You will never look at a snowman the same again. Happy holidays! ⛄ Subscribe to Reading the Comments 👀 now to listen to the full episode. Show notes: * “Hot Frosty’s Portrait of a Perfect Man,” Rebecca Onion, Slate * “Horny for the holidays (and the nuclear family),” Tracy Clark-Flory * “Just How Formulaic Are Hallmark and Lifetime Holiday Movies? We (Over)analyzed 424 of Them,” Alicia Parlapiano. New York Times.

    3 min
  2. 2024-11-22

    The push to blame “identity politics”

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit readingthecomments.substack.com This week, we look at a brilliant post-election conversation between Tressie McMillan Cottom & Lydia Polgreen. Both conservative and liberal commenters dropped by to spill their own post-election analysis in the comments. Many had big feels about so-called “identity politics.” We dig into what this term even means, how it’s used as an insult, and why American politics have always been based on identity. We also consider whether there is indeed some mythological neutral apparatus out there called “the economy” that works the same for everyone. (Spoiler: nope!) Most importantly, we discuss the question of how we building a better political narrative on the left moving forward—without trading away people’s rights or compromising on progressive values. Subscribe to Reading the Comments 👀 now to listen to the full episode. Show notes: “Democrats Had a Theory of the Election. They Were Wrong," by Lydia Polgreen and Tressie McMillan Cottom If you have not yet upgraded your subscription, you’ll see a free preview of the episode until you upgrade. It’s just $15 for the whole season or $5/month. Paid subscribers get access to all six episodes, plus every bonus episode, threads, a subscriber chat, and the ability to suggest topics for future shows. **Huge thanks to our new founding members! You are making this work possible.

    2 min
  3. 2024-10-29

    “Galsplaining”

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit readingthecomments.substack.com In this week’s episode, we’re unpacking the comments section of a popular article on male loneliness that was—gasp!—written by a woman. Spooky! 👻 Read the article, titled “Is the Cure to Male Loneliness Out on the Pickleball Court?”, and peruse the comments if you dare. Or, just listen to us break it all down for you—no prior reading required. As you can imagine, men had thoughts about this piece. Not all positive! But we still found a way to turn this cranky comments section into a fun, thoughtful, and timely conversation on play dates, “women’s issues”, community, gender relations, and of course… pickleball. We recorded this episode a few weeks ago, and lo and behold, male loneliness is back in the discourse again, just in time for the election. Next week is sure to be a wild one for democracy and discourse, but we’ll see you on the other side of Nov. 5 for better or for worse. We’re pretty sure we’ll all need the community and conversation no matter what happens. Subscribe to Reading the Comments 👀 now to listen to the full episode. Show notes: * The Surgeon General’s advisory on loneliness and isolation in the US * Loneliness is, however, a global epidemic * Male loneliness and masculinity have remained center stage as we try to elect the first woman president *sigh* * Clara says enough is enough and “white men are inching closer to losing their run of the place, and panic is thus ensuing” * We were thrilled to see this and very disappointed to see this * We shared a bunch of voting resources in the show notes of our last episode * Don’t forget to listen to our previous episodes on parental burnout and marital sex For those who have not yet upgraded their subscriptions: you’ll see a free preview of the episode until you upgrade your subscription below. It’s just $15 for the whole season or $5/month. You’ll get access to all six episodes, plus every bonus episode, threads, a subscriber chat, and the ability to suggest topics for future shows. If you’re already a paid subscriber to Mad Woman, you can become a paid subscriber to Reading the Comments 👀 at a discount. Info here. And here’s info on how to get every episode on your favorite podcast app once you’ve subscribed.

    3 min
  4. 2024-10-22

    "Just divorce her"

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit readingthecomments.substack.com We often start episodes off with a big sigh, but this one really is a doozy. On this week’s episode of Reading the Comments 👀 we look at the comments section of a viral TikTok. In the video, a dating expert dares to suggest that when married women feel emotionally disconnected from their husbands, they lose interest in sex. As you can imagine, the video attracted a lot of casual misogyny from men. Meanwhile, women popped into the comments to nod their heads in the yes direction and to share how they are being harmed by domestic inequality. But as we dug deeper into the comments, we also found some pretty revealing conversations about marital sex and divorce— and discussed yet another reason why it’s so important to vote. Show notes and further reading: “Don’t Be So Attached to Attachment Theory” | Danielle Carr, Gawker “Women Are Happier without Children or a Spouse” | The Guardian IFS brief on how marriage “confers enormous benefits for men’s wallets, their sex lives, and their physical and mental health.” (links to a download of the report) “Conservative US lawmakers are pushing for an end to no-fault divorce” | The Guardian “The Right Aims to Turn Back the Clock on American Divorce Law” | Alison Lefkovitz in Time Magazine “Conservatives in red states turn their attention to ending no-fault divorce laws” | Ayesha Rascoe, NPR “Louisiana Republican Party considers backing elimination of no-fault divorce” | Julie O'Donoghue (Louisiana Illuminator), WWNO - New Orleans Public Radio “New Oklahoma senator files bill that would end no-fault divorces in the state” | Barbara Hoberock, Oklahoma Voice Nebraska GOP Party Platform Voting Resources: vote.gov vote.org Ballotpedia 2024 Voter Kit | Ballotpedia Know Your Voting Rights | ACLU 2024 Abortion State Ballot Measures | The Center for Reproductive Rights New York State Equal Rights Amendment | Planned Parenthood Action Fund

    4 min
  5. 2024-10-08

    "All of us should have access to the supports we need"

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit readingthecomments.substack.com A couple of weeks ago, the US Surgeon General revealed something surprising: “Parents Are at Their Wits’ End. We Can Do Better.” JK. We already knew that! But it was meaningful, we guess, to have this reality affirmed by a major public health official and as a legitimate public health crisis. This week, however, Amanda & Veronica dig into the comments section underneath the Surgeon General’s op-ed for The New York Times. Obviously we agree that we can and should do better for all parents, of every gender. But some of the commenters on the op-ed were skeptical. In the episode, we discuss how both the essay and the over 1200 comments lurking underneath it reveal the anxieties that come up when we discuss the need for social supports that would make parenting in this country easier. While some commenters did acknowledge the need for a more comprehensive social safety net, a pretty clear generational divide presented itself in the comments section. Some people felt that parents just needed to simplify their lives, be kinder to themselves, or… get over it? We also discuss why it matters when warnings like these fail to acknowledge things like feminism and gender inequality, why therapy won’t put food on the table, what the culture of self-help says about our failure of political imagination, and what tensions arise in the workplace between people who are childfree and parents. * To listen to this week’s full episode, upgrade your subscription at the show page for just $15 for the whole season (or $5/month). You’ll get access to all six full episodes, plus every bonus episode we create, threads, a subscriber chat, and the ability to suggest topics for future shows. If you are already a paid subscriber to Mad Woman, you can become a paid subscriber to Reading the Comments 👀 at a discount. Info here. And here’s info on how to get the episodes on your favorite podcast app, once you’ve subscribed. * Show notes: -The US Dept of Health & Human Services parental mental health and well-being advisory page

    10 min
  6. 2024-10-03

    Introducing: Reading the Comments 👀

    Reading the Comments is a podcast that digs into the comment sections of buzzy articles, essays, and posts to figure what the hell is going on. Hosted by Amanda Montei & Veronica Wong. We're like your group chat— but we try to wrangle our rage, eyerolls, and irritation in an attempt to salvage some thoughtful conversations from a forum that can at times feel like the antithesis of… thoughtful. This season: What stories are we telling about motherhood, feminism, gender, family, and community today? Is it possible to read a little closer 👀 in order to hear each other a bit better 👂🏼? We’re not sure, but we hope so? Some of the subjects we’ll cover this season include: * women’s “choices” * male loneliness * parental burnout * marriage and desire * more! Every other week, we will also open up threads to paid subscribers on our Substack show page so you can help us further explore what’s missing from the conversations in the comments. You can find the Reading the Comments Podcast wherever you get your podcasts — and you can also listen to the episodes on our Substack page. Paid subscribers get access to full episodes and to our devoted community of close-readers/eye-rollers and: * You’ll be directly supporting 1) the many hours of work we put into this podcast AND 2) the many hours of work we have yet to do on bonus episodes. * Speaking of bonus episodes, you’ll get access to a subscribers-only Google form you can use to share any juicy comments sections you want to see us pull apart on those bonus episodes, or right here on the show page. * You’ll also get access to those biweekly discussion threads for each episode, where you can help us unpack comments, topics, and issues featured on the pod. * Access to our subscribers-only chat in the Substack app, where we will drop timely comments sections for you to discuss on the fly, as well as send info about the future episodes we're planning, so you can help guide the conversation. Sound fun? Ready to support our work? * If you just want to subscribe to the Reading the Comments Podcast, it’s just $5 a month or $15 for the whole season. Subscribe on Substack and then listen wherever you get your podcasts. We can’t wait to wade into the comments with you— strap in! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit readingthecomments.substack.com

    5 min

About

Welcome to Reading the Comments 👀, a feminist podcast that digs into the comments sections of buzzy articles, essays, and social posts to figure out what the hell is going on— so you don’t have to. readingthecomments.substack.com