248 episodes

Neil Sattin interviews John Gottman, Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Peter Levine, Stan Tatkin, Dick Schwartz, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Diana Richardson, Terry Real, Wendy Maltz - and many others - in his quest to dig deep into all the factors that keep a Relationship Alive and Thriving! Each week Neil brings you an in-depth interview with a relationship expert. Neil is an author and relationship coach who is enthusiastic and passionate about relationships and the nuts and bolts of what makes them last. You can find out more about Neil Sattin and the Relationship Alive podcast at http://www.neilsattin.com

Relationship Alive‪!‬ Neil Sattin

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.8 • 70 Ratings

Neil Sattin interviews John Gottman, Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Peter Levine, Stan Tatkin, Dick Schwartz, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Diana Richardson, Terry Real, Wendy Maltz - and many others - in his quest to dig deep into all the factors that keep a Relationship Alive and Thriving! Each week Neil brings you an in-depth interview with a relationship expert. Neil is an author and relationship coach who is enthusiastic and passionate about relationships and the nuts and bolts of what makes them last. You can find out more about Neil Sattin and the Relationship Alive podcast at http://www.neilsattin.com

    How to Be Courageous (especially when it's hard)

    How to Be Courageous (especially when it's hard)

    It's easy to talk about being courageous - but how do you actually take action when it feels like a huge risk? Whether it's the decision to enter a relationship, or to leave a relationship, or all of the moments within a relationship when you might have to make a choice that feels a little edgy or scary - today's episode is going to focus on the practical steps to taking action...courageously. Don't just "feel the fear and do it anyway" - learn how to prepare yourself so that you stand the best chance of succeeding in a moment that requires your courage.
    As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it!
    Sponsors:
    GreenChef.com is a USDA certified organic company, with a wide variety of meal plans to make having healthier food easy and convenient for you. And they’re offering you $125 off plus free shipping- just to give them a try! Just visit GreenChef.com/alive125 and use the coupon code “alive125” at checkout for $125 off, and enjoy the delicious recipes and fresh ingredients that GreenChef sends your way.
    Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you.
    Want something new to entertain you? Acorn TV is a commercial-free streaming service that’s rooted in British television. It’s home to sophisticated and artful storytelling with top-rated mysteries, dramas that pull you in, heart-felt comedies and so much more. So - Escape to Britain and beyond without leaving your seat. Try Acorn TV free for 30 days, by going to acorn.tv and using the promo code “alive” (all lowercase) at checkout.
    Resources:
    Check out my Secrets of Relationship Communication COURSE for a masterclass in how to improve the communication and connection in your relationship.
    I want to know you better! Take the quick, anonymous, Relationship Alive survey
    FREE Guide to Neil’s Top 3 Relationship Communication Secrets
    Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner’s Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE)
    Support the podcast
    Amazing intro and outro music provided courtesy of The Railsplitters
    Transcript:
    Neil Sattin: So let's get on with this conversation about courage and how to actually be courageous. Now, the way I see it, courage is required before you get into a relationship, while you're in a relationship, and if you decide that you're going to leave the relationship, that requires courage too. Courage is required all the way through when you are, let's say, meeting people going out on dates, it may require courage for you to ask someone out and it may require courage for you to follow up with a the person, it might require courage for you to ask for what you want.
    Neil Sattin: There was recently a conversation happening in the Relationship Alive Facebook community, where someone was talking about how it's challenging to them, they've been going out with people who are spending all their time talking about themselves instead of asking any questions. So how do you show up in a situation like that? You might need to get courageous and be vulnerable or put the other person on the spot in order to ask for what you need, or conversely, it might take courage for you, even though someone else seems really into you, if you're not really into them, to put an end to your dating before it gets too serious, before it gets even more challenging to extricate yourself from a difficult and not entirely fulfilling situation. Now, when you're in a relationship, there are all kinds of places where courage is required, it might be required to set a boundary with another person, or again, to ask for what you want if you're not getting it, or to initiate a hard conversation.
    Neil Sattin: Like for instanc

    • 1 hr 1 min
    From a "Fair" Relationship to Radical Generosity - the 80/80 Marriage with Kaley and Nate Klemp

    From a "Fair" Relationship to Radical Generosity - the 80/80 Marriage with Kaley and Nate Klemp

    It's easy to talk about being generous in your relationship - but how do you actually put it into practice - especially when things feel unfair or out of balance? If you're stuck in fighting for fairness in your relationship, it's time to learn a new way of being together where shared success becomes the rule - not the exception. Today we're talking with Kaley and Nate Klemp, authors of "The 80/80 Marriage - A New Model for a Healthier, Stronger Relationship." You'll get practical steps to foster radical generosity in your relationship.
    As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Also, see below for links to our other episodes with Stan Tatkin.
    Sponsors:
    GreenChef.com is a USDA certified organic company, with a wide variety of meal plans to make having healthier food easy and convenient for you. And they’re offering you $125 off plus free shipping- just to give them a try! Just visit GreenChef.com/alive125 and use the coupon code “alive125” at checkout for $125 off, and enjoy the delicious recipes and fresh ingredients that GreenChef sends your way.
    Want something new to entertain you? Acorn TV is a commercial-free streaming service that’s rooted in British television. It’s home to sophisticated and artful storytelling with top-rated mysteries, dramas that pull you in, heart-felt comedies and so much more. So - Escape to Britain and beyond without leaving your seat. Try Acorn TV free for 30 days, by going to acorn.tv and using the promo code “alive” (lowercase) at checkout.
    Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you.
    Resources:
    Check out "The 80/80 Marriage" on Amazon
    Take a quiz, get more information about Nate and Kaley Klemp and their book, the 80/80 Marriage - by clicking here.
    FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship
    Or...check out the Secrets of Relationship Communication complete course!
    Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE)
    Visit www.neilsattin.com/8080 to download the transcript to this episode with Nate and Kaley Klemp.
    Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out
    Transcript of this episode:
    Neil Sattin: Let's just start maybe with you're revealing a little bit of your personal journey, if you don't mind, getting a little vulnerable with, how did 8080 come to be for the two of you?
    Nate Klemp: Yeah, well, I guess it starts in high school actually, so Kaley and I grew up in the same town, and we met our senior year of high school, we were in chemistry class together, and we actually dated a little bit in high school, and then we both went to the same college, but broke up pragmatically and got back together seven years later, and it was almost like a fairy tale, Instagram-worthy story where we got back together in our early 20s, we got married, and we went into marriage thinking that the momentum of that perfect story, that fairy tale was just going to effortlessly continue and it didn't... Not at all. In fact, a couple of years in the marriage, I had a serious bike accident, which left me in a position of both having very little energy to work and complete Life's tasks, but also in a pretty serious depression, experiencing a lot of anxiety, and all of a sudden we were thrust into this conversation really more of a conflict over What is or isn't fair, and we started to see that for us and for most couples, we saw eventually that the fundamental thing we were grappling with is how can we be equals and in love, and that seemed to be a

    • 1 hr 17 min
    How to Keep Children from Wrecking Your Relationship - The Baby Bomb with Kara Hoppe and Stan Tatkin

    How to Keep Children from Wrecking Your Relationship - The Baby Bomb with Kara Hoppe and Stan Tatkin

    How do you keep your relationship strong despite the pressures that child-rearing can create? And how can you leverage your attachment styles in how you show up for each other to improve your relationship along the way?  Our guests are Kara Hoppe and Stan Tatkin, co-authors of the new book "Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents" - one of the few books that tackles the impact that raising a child can have on your connection. Whether you're expecting a new baby, or already have children in the mix, today's episode will give you the tools you need so that you can weather the storms of parenting while celebrating its joys.
    As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Also, see below for links to our other episodes with Stan Tatkin.
    Sponsors:
    Want something new to entertain you? Acorn TV is a commercial-free streaming service that’s rooted in British television. It’s home to sophisticated and artful storytelling with top-rated mysteries, dramas that pull you in, heart-felt comedies and so much more. So - Escape to Britain and beyond without leaving your seat. Try Acorn TV free for 30 days, by going to acorn.tv and using the promo code “alive” (lowercase) at checkout.
    Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you.
    Resources:
    Check out "Baby Bomb" on Amazon
    Get more information about Kara Hoppe and her offerings
    To learn about his trainings and retreats, visit Stan Tatkin's website
    Here are links to our other episodes with Stan Tatkin (prior to this one):
    Episode 19: Recipe for a Secure, Healthy Relationship
    Episode 50: Wired for Dating and Love - Psychobiology
    Episode 150: Attachment Styles and Relationship Repair
    FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship
    Or...check out the Secrets of Relationship Communication complete course!
    Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE)
    Visit www.neilsattin.com/baby to download the transcript to this episode with Kara Hoppe and Stan Tatkin.
    Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out
    Transcript of this episode:
    Neil Sattin:  I think we've either seen it happen or maybe even experienced it ourselves, that the addition of a new life, a new being to a family can create big changes, and some of those changes are amazing and wonderful and life-enhancing, and some of those changes can feel almost cataclysmic. And so we are here today to talk about how to navigate a new edition to a family, whether it be a baby or adopting an older child, or even if you've had children in your life for a while and experienced the impact of children on your relationship. We're going to talk about how to steer your couple-ship in a way so that you can strengthen your relationship and strengthen with each other and with your children, and hopefully have a little bit more joy and a little less cataclysm. To have today's conversation, we have two very special guests: one is Kara Hoppe, who is a marriage and family therapist. And the other is Stan Tatkin who you may be familiar with from being on the show before, the author of, Wired in love and Wired for Dating among other books.
    Neil Sattin: And together they have written the book, Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents. Because as we were chatting about before this interview started, there aren't many resources to help people not just navigate what's going on with a new baby, but actually navigate how that impacts their relationship and how to have a strong r

    • 1 hr 12 min
    How and Why to Get Better at Conflict - Getting to Zero with Jayson Gaddis

    How and Why to Get Better at Conflict - Getting to Zero with Jayson Gaddis

    When you can't be yourself in your relationship and avoid the tough conversations that you might need to have, it erodes your relationship AND your sense of self. Today we're going to focus on how to lean into conflict in ways most likely to lead to deeper connection with others as well as inner alignment within yourself. Our guest is Jayson Gaddis, and his new book "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships" is a masterpiece to level up your conflict-resolution skills.
    If you’re curious to hear our first episode together, check out Episode 129 - Unlocking the Secrets of the Smart Couple.
    And as always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it!
    Sponsors:
    Want something new to entertain you? Acorn TV is a commercial-free streaming service that’s rooted in British television. It’s home to sophisticated and artful storytelling with top-rated mysteries, dramas that pull you in, heart-felt comedies and so much more. So - Escape to Britain and beyond without leaving your seat. Try Acorn TV free for 30 days, by going to acorn.tv and using the promo code “alive” (lowercase) at checkout.
    Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you.
    Resources:
    Find out more about Jayson Gaddis's new book, Getting to Zero.
    Visit The Relationship School website for more information about Jayson, his podcast, and the courses and trainings that he offers.
    FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship
    Or...check out the Secrets of Relationship Communication complete course!
    Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE)
    Visit www.neilsattin.com/zero to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Jayson Gaddis.
    Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out
    Transcript:
    Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. When it comes to the relationships in our lives that matter the most, I want you to sit there and think for a moment about whether or not you're willing to really get into it with those people. Are you willing to have conflict when you don't see eye to eye, when you have a disagreement, when you have a values conflict, when you're not sure who should be doing the dishes and who should be balancing a checkbook, whatever it is, are you actually willing to go toe to toe as equals with the other people in your life? And if so, how well does it go? And if not, why do you avoid it? These are important questions to be asking because the quality of our relationships is often not only determined by the quality of our connection with those people, but it's also determined by our ability to come back from challenging moments, the resilience of a relationship.
    Neil Sattin: And so for today's episode, I wanted to focus on that very thing. How do you work through conflict and create resilience, not only in yourself, not only fostering it in the other important people in your life, but how do you create a resilient relationship where you are able to be true to who you are, and where the person or people that you're in relationship with are also free to be true to who they are. And where somehow you manage to get through all of that, better for it, instead of in tatters because of your fights and inability to resolve them. So in order to have today's conversation, I wanted to feature Jayson Gaddis, who is the founder of The Re

    • 1 hr 7 min
    Rebuilding Trust During a Crisis - with Pete Pearson

    Rebuilding Trust During a Crisis - with Pete Pearson

    Are there ways to build trust in your relationship - even if you're in the middle of a crisis? How do you identify your relationship strengths - and use them in these most challenging moments? Today we have a return visit from Dr. Peter Pearson, co-founder of the Couple's Institute (along with his wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader), and one of today's leading trainers of couples therapists. Whether you're in a relationship, or a couples therapist, or both - today's episode is full of practical wisdom to help navigate the hardest moments that a couple can face.
    Visit neilsattin.com/institute to join Pete Pearson’s and Ellyn Bader’s free webinars on how to use Confrontation in therapy!
    And as always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it!
    Sponsors:
    Want something new to entertain you? Acorn TV is a commercial-free streaming service that’s rooted in British television. It’s home to sophisticated and artful storytelling with top-rated mysteries, dramas that pull you in, heart-felt comedies and so much more. So - Escape to Britain and beyond without leaving your seat. Try Acorn TV free for 30 days, by going to acorn.tv and using the promo code “alive” (lowercase) at checkout.
    Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you.
    Resources:
    To join Ellyn and Pete’s free webinar series on "What do you say when..." - to handle tough situations in couples therapy, follow this link here.
    Visit The Couples Institute website to learn more about Ellyn and Pete’s work with couples, and with helping therapists help couples.
    FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship
    Or...check out the Secrets of Relationship Communication complete course!
    Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE)
    Visit www.neilsattin.com/251 to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Peter Pearson.
    Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out
    If you’re curious to hear our first episode together, about shaping a culture of honesty in your relationship, you can also check out Episode 24 of Relationship Alive - Why We Lie and How to Get Back to the Truth
    And you can listen to our second episode together, which was about Relationship Development and getting unstuck in your relationship, if you click here.
    And here’s our third episode together - Communication that Grows Your Relationship.
    And here's our fourth episode together on how to work with Unmotivated Partners.
    Transcript:
    Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Today I want to cover how to handle crisis and conflict in your relationship, and for that conversation, we have a very special guest, a return visit from Dr. Pete Pearson. Along with his wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader, Pete is co-founder of The Couples Institute, one of the leading trainers of couples therapists. They are the co-authors of "Tell Me No Lies," a book about the dynamics of honesty and lying in relationships, and also the book, "In Quest of the Mythical Mate," which is a book that outlines their developmental approach to working with couples in therapy.
    Neil Sattin: It feels a bit like coming home, having Pete here on the show, because he and Ellyn have been on Relationship Alive a bunch of times...
    Peter Pearson: Hey, Neil, all I can say is it's good to be home again.
    [chuckle]
    Neil Sattin: Nice, nice. Well, we're going to try and keep th

    • 1 hr 9 min
    Start You Day with Being OK

    Start You Day with Being OK

    How do you find the place within you that's "ok" no matter what? And how do you use that place as a resource to help you handle the things that aren't ok? In today's episode I'm going to give you a quick-and-easy way to start your day on the right foot - while at the same time getting a clear look at what just might need to change in your life...without being paralyzed by it. No bypasses here! Just a clear path forward that acknowledges your strengths - while you're empowered to work on the things that are challenging. 
    As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it!
    Sponsors:
    Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you.
    Want something new to entertain you? Acorn TV is a commercial-free streaming service that’s rooted in British television. It’s home to sophisticated and artful storytelling with top-rated mysteries, dramas that pull you in, heart-felt comedies and so much more. So - Escape to Britain and beyond without leaving your seat. Try Acorn TV free for 30 days, by going to acorn.tv and using the promo code “alive” (all lowercase) at checkout.
    Resources:
    Check out my Secrets of Relationship Communication COURSE for a masterclass in how to improve the communication and connection in your relationship.
    I want to know you better! Take the quick, anonymous, Relationship Alive survey
    FREE Guide to Neil’s Top 3 Relationship Communication Secrets
    Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner’s Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE)
    Support the podcast (or text “SUPPORT” to 33444)
    Amazing intro and outro music provided courtesy of The Railsplitters
    Transcript:
    Neil Sattin: Okay. Let's get started. I'm going to give you a little gift for being here on episode 250. And the way the gift works is something like this, I've been thinking a lot lately about how much easier life is when people are kind and friendly to each other. Perhaps you've noticed how much easier your life is when you're moving through it and someone does something that's super nice for you, an unsolicited kindness, or a random act of kindness, or when someone's just super friendly to you or they ask you how your day is or they ask you if they can help you out in a way that you can tell is sincere. Well, unfortunately, I can't wave a magic wand and transform everyone into your life, into a friendly person. But what I can tell you is this, that if you, yourself, work on being kind and friendly, in general, in your life, then that will have a ripple effect. And there are definitely other people around you who are also listening to Relationship Alive and who are also hopefully going to be putting extra effort into being kind and friendly and nice and gracious. And if all of us who are here together are doing that, it will certainly percolate out into the world around us.
    Neil Sattin: Now, I'm not saying that you have to be nice to the a******s in your life, or that you have to put up with b******t that's going on. In fact, we are going to have an upcoming episode that's exclusively about how to deal with the a******s in your life. So stay tuned for that. And it's important when you're being nice to have boundaries. You don't necessarily want to be completely kind and open-hearted with everyone who crosses your path, unless they show you that they're capable of receiving that in a way that is, if nothing else, appreciative or reciprocal, or maybe it's even more than reciprocal, maybe they are super nice to you and generous and kind in return. I suppose that is what reciprocal means. But I mean, like, to the extreme where it gets amplified back at you. Now, that's great.
    Neil Sattin: If i

    • 52 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
70 Ratings

70 Ratings

JaninaCostaRica ,

Amazing relationship advice whether being single or in a couple

Hi Neil, you’re really interesting to listen to. I have been listening to your podcast for quite some time, and also went through a breakup while listening to your podcast. It was so moving and yet interesting to hear you going through your own breakup while doing the podcast. It taught me that breakups don’t have to be bad and that not all relationships can be healed. Thanks for what you do. Please keep the podcast coming :) !

watterwoman ,

Relationship Alive with Neil Sattin

Beyond relationship ideas... this podcast will have you laughing, crying, smiling, connecting, and wishing you could reach out and thank its wonderful host!!
He’s the perfect combination of knowledge and humility. He’s vulnerable when needed and able to share his own thoughts and feelings when appropriate. He is a gallant host, always providing his guests with the utmost respect and appreciation.
He’s just got it all, seemingly. Yet, He also shares just the right amount of personal details to allow you to see him in a connecting way.
What i love the most is what shines through in his voice: care, compassion, and kindness. He seems to have it all!

Not Techy Tchr ,

Something for Everyone

A variety of guests and topics. Top experts in the field, questions we all want to know. He engages well with the guests and does some research prior to the interview so it is informative and easy to follow! Thank you!!

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