Relationship Dish

Iona Monk / Pam Stewert
  • 5.0 (25)
  • Arts
  • Updated Weekly

​Ever wonder what your therapist's own romantic relationship is like? Well wonder no more because Relationship Dish is the podcast where two therapists dish about their own relationships. Hey, relationships are hard for EVERYONE, even therapists! In this podcast we practice "walking our own talk" as we journey through the ups and downs of our love relationships and our own humble learning to be better partners. Our wish is that our learning becomes your learning as you reach to be the best partner you can be. We are Iona Monk and Pam Stewart. Join us and let's dish.

  1. ep 142 / Judgment, Vulnerability, and the Stories We Tell About Each Other

    Jun 3

    ep 142 / Judgment, Vulnerability, and the Stories We Tell About Each Other

    *]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-690a925a-37b0-8332-95ab-05e40420c614-0" data-turn-id-container= "request-690a925a-37b0-8332-95ab-05e40420c614-0" data-testid= "conversation-turn-26" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn= "assistant"> How quickly do you turn someone into a one-dimensional version of themselves? In this deeply personal episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack a real interaction between the two of them—one where judgment, assumptions, and anxiety quietly shaped the way they saw each other, until vulnerability changed everything. They explore why we often flatten people into simple stories when mixed feelings feel too uncomfortable, and why learning to hold contradictory emotions—love and anger, closeness and disappointment—is essential for healthy relationships. Pam and Iona discuss how easily we can begin assigning the least generous interpretation to someone's behavior, how anxiety often disguises feelings we're afraid to express, and why vulnerability may be much simpler than we think. Sometimes, it's just naming the feeling. Along the way, Pam opens up about how these patterns played out in her marriage, uncovering—in real time—the complicated mix of sadness, love, resentment, and grief that still exists. Real intimacy begins when we stop telling stories about people—and start telling the truth to them.

    56 min
  2. ep 141 / Intimacy Is Not What You Think It Is

    May 20

    ep 141 / Intimacy Is Not What You Think It Is

    When you hear the word intimacy, do you automatically think of sex? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona challenge the narrow way most of us define intimacy and explore the many other ways we truly connect with other people. They unpack the six different types of intimacy—sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—and why great relationships need more than just chemistry to survive. In fact, they argue, the other forms of intimacy are what actually fuel good sex in the first place. Pam reflects on the deep emotional intimacy she's shared with close friends over the years—the crying, arguing, laughing, and vulnerability that create real closeness—and admits that she still struggles at times to fully let people in. Together, she and Iona explore the importance of reciprocity, shared interests, emotional openness, and feeling genuinely connected in everyday life. Intimacy isn't just about being physically close; it's about being truly known. Thoughts? Questions? Topic ideas for an episode? Email us at: dishers@relationshipdish.com

    57 min
  3. ep 140 / Attachment vs. Authenticity: Unlocking Your True Self

    May 6

    ep 140 / Attachment vs. Authenticity: Unlocking Your True Self

    After years behind the mic, Pam and Iona reflect on how Relationship Dish has evolved from research-heavy conversations to something more lived-in, intuitive, and real. And in this episode, they take that evolution even deeper with a powerful question: Who are you, underneath it all? Many people come to therapy focused on symptoms like anxiety, depression, and conflict, but beneath those layers lies something quieter and more essential: the true self. Pam and Iona explore how core feelings act as a gateway to that authentic place where your curiosity, joy, and aliveness are. Pam shares the moments when she feels most like herself—fully present, playful, and free—whether she's with her grandkids or walking through the stillness of her family farm. Iona opens up about how anxiety once felt safer than authenticity in her family system, and how daily practices like gratitude have helped her reconnect with the hopeful, vibrant parts of who she really is. Together, they unpack the tension between attachment and authenticity—how the need to belong or make a relationship work can sometimes override the need to be real—and what it takes to reclaim your voice, your desires, and your sense of self. The goal isn't just to feel better; it's to come alive. For Listener Reference: Unlocking Your True Self from Dr. Matthew Jarvinen's EmotionFit YouTube Channel

    49 min
  4. ep 139 / Risking Conflict for Intimacy: Why Avoiding Fights Keeps You Stuck

    Apr 22

    ep 139 / Risking Conflict for Intimacy: Why Avoiding Fights Keeps You Stuck

    Think avoiding conflict is the key to a happy relationship? Think again. In this powerful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack why real intimacy isn't built by keeping the peace—it's built by risking it. They explore how sexual intimacy alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship, and why deeper connection requires emotional vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to rock the boat. Pam shares how conflict avoidance shaped her marriage—including a moment she literally checked into a hotel to escape a fight—while Iona opens up about the risks she's taken in her own relationship that ultimately led to more trust and passion. Together, they dive into how to fight well: why losing your cool costs you credibility, how repair creates deeper bonding, and how to invite your partner into hard conversations without triggering defensiveness. They also challenge the myth that "if it's right, it should be easy"—and why that belief keeps so many couples disconnected. If you want real intimacy, you don't have a choice: You have to risk conflict to get there.

    56 min
  5. ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships

    Mar 25

    ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships

    Where do our expectations in relationships actually come from—and when do they start working against us? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the difference between healthy needs and unrealistic expectations—and how unmet (or even met) childhood experiences can quietly shape both. They explore how what we didn't receive growing up can turn into deep longings—or even angry demands—in our adult relationships. Pam shares how mismatched expectations around time, energy, and reciprocity have led her to pull back from friendships, while Iona reflects on how differing needs for connection and space showed up early in their own relationship—and how naming those needs created something surprisingly healing between them. Together, they dive into expectations around affection, communication, and roles in partnership, and why every relationship needs its own "rules of engagement" to thrive. Because the goal isn't to have no expectations—it's to have the right ones, clearly expressed and rooted in reality.

    54 min
  6. ep 137 / Can People Really Change? Boundaries, Acceptance, and Being "Good Enough"

    Feb 18

    ep 137 / Can People Really Change? Boundaries, Acceptance, and Being "Good Enough"

    Can people actually change, or do we eventually have to learn how to live with what is? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona let listeners in on their behind-the-scenes process of choosing a topic—then land on one that hits close to home. Pam opens up about her ongoing struggle to set boundaries with people she loves, and how making slow, incremental changes feels essential before she can fully open herself to a new relationship. Iona, on the other hand, explores a different kind of growth: accepting long-standing patterns in her marriage—like her husband's lack of initiative and tendency to get distracted—and learning how to tolerate those realities without losing herself. What follows is an intimate mini-therapy session, as Pam gently guides Iona through what happens in her body when she feels triggered, and they unpack the difference between "won't" and "can't," why appreciating the 90% matters, and how grieving unmet hopes can lead to real peace. Sometimes change isn't about fixing everything—and sometimes, being good enough is enough.

    54 min
  7. ep 136 / When Therapy Works: Trust, Accountability, and Showing Up for Each Other (with Dr. Rotem Regev)

    Feb 4

    ep 136 / When Therapy Works: Trust, Accountability, and Showing Up for Each Other (with Dr. Rotem Regev)

    What does it look like when couples therapy actually works? In this special episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona are joined by Dr. Rotem Regev, a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist, to share real stories of couples who did the work—and found their way back to trust, connection, and understanding. Together, they explore the deeper question underneath most relationship conflicts. Whether couples come in fighting about money, parenting, or in-laws, the core issue is almost always the same: Are you there for me? Can I trust you? Are you emotionally accessible when I need you? Dr. Regev breaks down why personal accountability is essential to change, how even small shifts in one partner can transform the entire relationship system, and why curiosity and flexibility matter more than being "right." They also discuss why couples who avoid conflict often drift apart—and why fighting, when done with care, can actually bring people closer. Relationships heal not through perfection, but through compassion, movement, and the courage to show up for each other again and again.

    58 min
  8. ep 135 / Narcissism in Relationships: The Traits, the Patterns, and the Trap of "Passion"

    Jan 21

    ep 135 / Narcissism in Relationships: The Traits, the Patterns, and the Trap of "Passion"

    "Narcissist" has become a buzzword—and that can get messy fast. In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona aren't diagnosing anyone… but they are digging into narcissistic traits and how they show up in real relationships, from subtle emotional neglect to full-blown "nothing is ever my fault" dynamics. Iona shares from personal experience—and her graduate school research—about growing up in a covertly narcissistic family system, where self-absorption, emotional abuse, and unmet needs shaped the blueprint for love. Pam opens up about her first relationship with someone who was thin-skinned, validation-hungry, and unable to take responsibility—someone who needed to be right, admired, and centered at all costs. Together, they explore how people raised in narcissistic family systems often try to fulfill the unmet needs of their childhoods through a partner—and sometimes end up treating that partner exactly the way they were treated growing up. They also unpack the "passion trap": how the intensity of a narcissistic relationship can trick your brain into confusing stress, instability, and emotional chasing with real love. Healing isn't about finding the perfect person to fill the hole from your past—it's about finally naming the pain, working through it, and learning what healthy intimacy actually feels like.

    55 min
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5
out of 5
25 Ratings

About

​Ever wonder what your therapist's own romantic relationship is like? Well wonder no more because Relationship Dish is the podcast where two therapists dish about their own relationships. Hey, relationships are hard for EVERYONE, even therapists! In this podcast we practice "walking our own talk" as we journey through the ups and downs of our love relationships and our own humble learning to be better partners. Our wish is that our learning becomes your learning as you reach to be the best partner you can be. We are Iona Monk and Pam Stewart. Join us and let's dish.

Information

  • Creator
    Iona Monk / Pam Stewert
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    Relationship Dish

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