Relationship Dish

Iona Monk / Pam Stewert
  • 5.0 (25)
  • Arts
  • Updated Weekly

​Ever wonder what your therapist's own romantic relationship is like? Well wonder no more because Relationship Dish is the podcast where two therapists dish about their own relationships. Hey, relationships are hard for EVERYONE, even therapists! In this podcast we practice "walking our own talk" as we journey through the ups and downs of our love relationships and our own humble learning to be better partners. Our wish is that our learning becomes your learning as you reach to be the best partner you can be. We are Iona Monk and Pam Stewart. Join us and let's dish.

  1. ep 144 / Narcissists, Manipulators, and the Myth of the Buzzword with Carla Litto, LMFT

    Jul 1

    ep 144 / Narcissists, Manipulators, and the Myth of the Buzzword with Carla Litto, LMFT

    Is everyone who hurts you a narcissist? In this fascinating episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome licensed therapist and author Carla Litto—whom Iona affectionately calls "the anti-narcissist extraordinaire"—to separate internet myths from clinical reality. (CLICK HERE to order her book, Outsmarting Egomaniacs!) Carla explains the difference between everyday narcissistic traits and true narcissistic personality disorder, why the term narcissist has exploded in popular culture, and how labeling someone can sometimes distract us from examining our own patterns in relationships. Drawing on decades of experience working with survivors of narcissistic abuse, Carla shares why she focuses her practice on empowering the victim—not changing the narcissist. She discusses how learning to set firm, non-combative boundaries often transforms not only the relationship, but also how clients see themselves and their partners. In many cases, once people find their voice, they discover they no longer want to stay. Together, they also explore whether narcissism is nature or nurture, why children raised by narcissistic parents don't all follow the same path, the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist, and why narcissists are often quick to accuse others of being narcissistic themselves. The goal isn't to become better at diagnosing people—it's to become better at recognizing unhealthy dynamics, protecting yourself, and building relationships rooted in respect.

    40 min
  2. ep 143 / Boundaries Aren't Selfish: Listening to Your Body Before It Shouts

    Jun 18

    ep 143 / Boundaries Aren't Selfish: Listening to Your Body Before It Shouts

    What if your feelings weren't a problem to solve, but a signal to pay attention to? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore boundary-setting through a lens that many people miss: your body's own warning system. They discuss how anxiety, irritability, sadness, overwhelm, numbness, and even physical sensations can be clues that you're moving outside your window of tolerance—and that a boundary may be needed. Pam shares how years of suppressing her feelings in marriage eventually led to eruptions of anger, while Iona tells the story of a man who spent so long ignoring his own needs that his body finally shut down altogether. Together, they unpack why so many of us—especially women—have been taught that setting boundaries is selfish, controlling, or unkind, when in reality the opposite is often true. They also explore the importance of "clean boundaries": holding firm when others push back, recognizing that boundaries can be both kind and direct, and learning to respect your own limits as much as you respect everyone else's. Boundaries aren't walls. They're acts of self-respect, honesty, and intimacy. And the sooner you learn to hear the music when it's quiet, the less likely you'll be forced to listen when it's blaring.

    54 min
  3. ep 142 / Judgment, Vulnerability, and the Stories We Tell About Each Other

    Jun 3

    ep 142 / Judgment, Vulnerability, and the Stories We Tell About Each Other

    *]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-690a925a-37b0-8332-95ab-05e40420c614-0" data-turn-id-container= "request-690a925a-37b0-8332-95ab-05e40420c614-0" data-testid= "conversation-turn-26" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn= "assistant"> How quickly do you turn someone into a one-dimensional version of themselves? In this deeply personal episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack a real interaction between the two of them—one where judgment, assumptions, and anxiety quietly shaped the way they saw each other, until vulnerability changed everything. They explore why we often flatten people into simple stories when mixed feelings feel too uncomfortable, and why learning to hold contradictory emotions—love and anger, closeness and disappointment—is essential for healthy relationships. Pam and Iona discuss how easily we can begin assigning the least generous interpretation to someone's behavior, how anxiety often disguises feelings we're afraid to express, and why vulnerability may be much simpler than we think. Sometimes, it's just naming the feeling. Along the way, Pam opens up about how these patterns played out in her marriage, uncovering—in real time—the complicated mix of sadness, love, resentment, and grief that still exists. Real intimacy begins when we stop telling stories about people—and start telling the truth to them.

    56 min
  4. ep 141 / Intimacy Is Not What You Think It Is

    May 20

    ep 141 / Intimacy Is Not What You Think It Is

    When you hear the word intimacy, do you automatically think of sex? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona challenge the narrow way most of us define intimacy and explore the many other ways we truly connect with other people. They unpack the six different types of intimacy—sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—and why great relationships need more than just chemistry to survive. In fact, they argue, the other forms of intimacy are what actually fuel good sex in the first place. Pam reflects on the deep emotional intimacy she's shared with close friends over the years—the crying, arguing, laughing, and vulnerability that create real closeness—and admits that she still struggles at times to fully let people in. Together, she and Iona explore the importance of reciprocity, shared interests, emotional openness, and feeling genuinely connected in everyday life. Intimacy isn't just about being physically close; it's about being truly known. Thoughts? Questions? Topic ideas for an episode? Email us at: dishers@relationshipdish.com

    57 min
  5. ep 140 / Attachment vs. Authenticity: Unlocking Your True Self

    May 6

    ep 140 / Attachment vs. Authenticity: Unlocking Your True Self

    After years behind the mic, Pam and Iona reflect on how Relationship Dish has evolved from research-heavy conversations to something more lived-in, intuitive, and real. And in this episode, they take that evolution even deeper with a powerful question: Who are you, underneath it all? Many people come to therapy focused on symptoms like anxiety, depression, and conflict, but beneath those layers lies something quieter and more essential: the true self. Pam and Iona explore how core feelings act as a gateway to that authentic place where your curiosity, joy, and aliveness are. Pam shares the moments when she feels most like herself—fully present, playful, and free—whether she's with her grandkids or walking through the stillness of her family farm. Iona opens up about how anxiety once felt safer than authenticity in her family system, and how daily practices like gratitude have helped her reconnect with the hopeful, vibrant parts of who she really is. Together, they unpack the tension between attachment and authenticity—how the need to belong or make a relationship work can sometimes override the need to be real—and what it takes to reclaim your voice, your desires, and your sense of self. The goal isn't just to feel better; it's to come alive. For Listener Reference: Unlocking Your True Self from Dr. Matthew Jarvinen's EmotionFit YouTube Channel

    49 min
  6. ep 139 / Risking Conflict for Intimacy: Why Avoiding Fights Keeps You Stuck

    Apr 22

    ep 139 / Risking Conflict for Intimacy: Why Avoiding Fights Keeps You Stuck

    Think avoiding conflict is the key to a happy relationship? Think again. In this powerful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack why real intimacy isn't built by keeping the peace—it's built by risking it. They explore how sexual intimacy alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship, and why deeper connection requires emotional vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to rock the boat. Pam shares how conflict avoidance shaped her marriage—including a moment she literally checked into a hotel to escape a fight—while Iona opens up about the risks she's taken in her own relationship that ultimately led to more trust and passion. Together, they dive into how to fight well: why losing your cool costs you credibility, how repair creates deeper bonding, and how to invite your partner into hard conversations without triggering defensiveness. They also challenge the myth that "if it's right, it should be easy"—and why that belief keeps so many couples disconnected. If you want real intimacy, you don't have a choice: You have to risk conflict to get there.

    56 min
  7. ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships

    Mar 25

    ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships

    Where do our expectations in relationships actually come from—and when do they start working against us? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the difference between healthy needs and unrealistic expectations—and how unmet (or even met) childhood experiences can quietly shape both. They explore how what we didn't receive growing up can turn into deep longings—or even angry demands—in our adult relationships. Pam shares how mismatched expectations around time, energy, and reciprocity have led her to pull back from friendships, while Iona reflects on how differing needs for connection and space showed up early in their own relationship—and how naming those needs created something surprisingly healing between them. Together, they dive into expectations around affection, communication, and roles in partnership, and why every relationship needs its own "rules of engagement" to thrive. Because the goal isn't to have no expectations—it's to have the right ones, clearly expressed and rooted in reality.

    54 min
  8. ep 137 / Can People Really Change? Boundaries, Acceptance, and Being "Good Enough"

    Feb 18

    ep 137 / Can People Really Change? Boundaries, Acceptance, and Being "Good Enough"

    Can people actually change, or do we eventually have to learn how to live with what is? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona let listeners in on their behind-the-scenes process of choosing a topic—then land on one that hits close to home. Pam opens up about her ongoing struggle to set boundaries with people she loves, and how making slow, incremental changes feels essential before she can fully open herself to a new relationship. Iona, on the other hand, explores a different kind of growth: accepting long-standing patterns in her marriage—like her husband's lack of initiative and tendency to get distracted—and learning how to tolerate those realities without losing herself. What follows is an intimate mini-therapy session, as Pam gently guides Iona through what happens in her body when she feels triggered, and they unpack the difference between "won't" and "can't," why appreciating the 90% matters, and how grieving unmet hopes can lead to real peace. Sometimes change isn't about fixing everything—and sometimes, being good enough is enough.

    54 min
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Trailers

5
out of 5
25 Ratings

About

​Ever wonder what your therapist's own romantic relationship is like? Well wonder no more because Relationship Dish is the podcast where two therapists dish about their own relationships. Hey, relationships are hard for EVERYONE, even therapists! In this podcast we practice "walking our own talk" as we journey through the ups and downs of our love relationships and our own humble learning to be better partners. Our wish is that our learning becomes your learning as you reach to be the best partner you can be. We are Iona Monk and Pam Stewart. Join us and let's dish.

Information

  • Creator
    Iona Monk / Pam Stewert
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    Relationship Dish

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