Sweet Valley Hive

Sweet Valley Hive
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  • UPDATED WEEKLY
Sweet Valley Hive

Sweet Valley Hive is the hottest new book club to hit the school! Join us (Robert Marx, newbie and Rebecca Pardo, superfan) as we neurotically parse the text, subtext, and outfits of Sweet Valley High, the beloved soapy series of the 80s. From school dances to amnesia to hysterical paralysis, we’ll cover the trials and tribulations of America’s most troubled and triumphant twins.

  1. 3D AGO

    “The Rabbit and The Hare“ (Sweet Valley High Super Star #2, Bruce’s Story)

    This week, it’s Succession meets Flea Market Flip when grandfather Patman announces a cutthroat competition between Bruce and Roger, and the stakes couldn’t be higher: the keys to the Patman estate. Along the way, we discuss embarrassing moments (coulda been Alanis!), heterosocial friendships, and slow-flushing toilets in “The Rabbit and The Hare“ (Sweet Valley High Super Star #2, Bruce’s Story).

    1h 23m

  2. APR 16

    “The World is Imploding; Pass the Salad Tongs” (Sweet Valley High #65, Trouble at Home)

    *** updated *** This week, we look into the void and come face-to-face with our own obsolescence. Pardo has made the fatal error of prompting ChatGPT to write an episode script in our voices, and when we do a live table read, the results are terrifyingly accurate. Meanwhile in Sweet Valley, marital tensions are escalating at the Wakefield home, so Jess escapes to a happier place—a teen party line that charges a dollar a minute! When she starts getting to know the mysterious “Charlie,” we wonder whether he’ll turn out to be a child, a 43-year-old line cook named Dwayne, or (most terrifying of all) just plain ugly! Join us as everything we hold dear is shaken to its core in “The World is Imploding; Pass the Salad Tongs” (Sweet Valley High #65, Trouble at Home).

    1h 5m

  3. APR 8

    “The Most Chilling Chef’s Salad in History” (Sweet Valley High #64, The Ghost of Tricia Martin)

    There’s a new girl in town, and—wouldn’t you know it—she looks just like Steven’s dead girlfriend, Tricia Martin! This throws Steven into a state of delusion and psychosis, setting the stage for a horror film that would make Hitchcock herself jealous. Meanwhile, Jess embraces green juice and recycling as she sets her sights on a new boy with an eco-friendly lifestyle. Underneath his “No Nukes” T-shirt is, after all, a lean physique. Join us as we explore manic pixie dream ghosts, discuss pathologized grief, and pray for Steven’s untimely death, in “The Most Chilling Chef’s Salad in History” (Sweet Valley High #64, The Ghost of Tricia Martin).

    1h 10m

  4. APR 1

    “I Noticed the Surfboard Gave You a Pretty Good Spanking” (Sweet Valley High #63, The New Elizabeth)

    Note: Readers are advised to read this book with a pair of scissors in hand. Sick of being pigeonholed as predictable and boring, Liz decides to surprise everyone by secretly taking surfing lessons. To her (and our) delight, she turns out to be quite the little surfer girl, inadvertently referencing the song Robert’s parents danced to at their bar mitzvah! As Liz leans in and hangs ten, the hearts of little Becky, adult Becky, and adult Robert begin to soar with the promise of (completely developmentally appropriate) adolescent identity experimentation. Meanwhile, Jess engages in “boutique terrorism” (hey, we’ve all been to the Gap–we know what the fitting room can look like) to get back at Caroline Pearce for… something? Join us as we discuss the finer points of surfing, learn why you should never Google your heroes, and do some crucial inner child work, in “I Noticed the Surfboard Gave You a Pretty Good Spanking” (Sweet Valley High #63, The New Elizabeth).

    1h 25m

  5. MAR 25

    “But the Ginger Chicken Just Arrived!” (Sweet Valley High #62, Who’s Who?)

    This week is an absolute barn burner of a book, as we meet two of the most memorable characters in all of literature: cool rocker chick Magenta Galaxy and upper crust society darling Daniella Fromage. Jessica has cultivated these alter egos in a scheme to enhance her dating prospects, but–wouldn’t you know– Magenta and Daniella get double booked for the same night, and Liz has to step in and assume one of the roles. What ensues is a madcap farce of epic proportions that has left an indelible mark on popular culture, and on us. Join us as we explore “the most excellent piece of literature one could imagine” (Marx, 2025), in “But the Ginger Chicken Just Arrived!” (Sweet Valley High #62, Who’s Who?).

    1h 33m

  6. MAR 18

    “It Forks No Lightning” (Sweet Valley High #61, Boy Trouble)

    This week’s book, as Dylan Thomas (as quoted by Robert) says, “forks no lightning.” The A-plot’s central conflict revolves around Patty’s boyfriend coming home the same weekend as her sister (?). And in the B-plot, Jess is painting T-shirts… again. It’s boring. It’s nothing. It’s a piece of water. Whatever! Luckily this utterly blank canvas provides an abundance of space for us to paint freely on such topics as Jerry Seinfeld, human evolution, the Y2K boy band 2gether, and more. Join us as we trudge through this nothing of a book (#Justice4Patty!) in “It Forks No Lightning” (Sweet Valley High #61, Boy Trouble).

    59 min

  7. MAR 11

    “Electra Who: For the Love of DILFs” (Sweet Valley High Super Star #1, Lila’s Story)

    What this week’s book lacks in cover and title interest, it more than makes up for in fun, froth, and flirtation. It’s our first Super Star Edition, and we’re learning that resident rich bitch Lila Fowler is more than just a gorgeous heiress: she’s a master manipulator, a timely eavesdropper, and…an AV maven? When her computer chip magnate father brings home a new fiancee, Lila senses something treacherous afoot. For someone so rich, she thinks, this woman seems “not exactly solvent.” Will Lila be able to convince her father that he’s being fooled by a grifter, or will she be doomed to life with an evil stepmother? Join us for a discussion of thoughtful maids, German reunification (which is–sorry–cringe), and Robert’s subscription to something called DaddyTV, in “Electra Who: For the Love of DILFs” (Sweet Valley High Super Star #1, Lila’s Story).

    1h 12m

  8. FEB 11

    “A Crumpled Toyota…” (Sweet Valley High #60, That Fatal Night)

    Join us under the covers this week for some quiet sobbing (it should feel wrong!) as we follow star quarterback Jason Street–oops, we mean Ken Matthews–dealing with the ramifications of a “fatal” (was it?) night. Petite brunette Terri admires Ken from afar, pondering the question every teen girl in history has asked: “Will he ever notice me, not just as the Assistant Statistician to the Sweet Valley High football team, but as someone special?” Along the way, Liz gets a glowing performance review and Jessica dates a boy who doesn’t impress-ah her much in “A Crumpled Toyota…” (Sweet Valley High #60, That Fatal Night).

    1h 26m
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    Ratings & Reviews

    5
    out of 5
    10 Ratings

    About

    Sweet Valley Hive is the hottest new book club to hit the school! Join us (Robert Marx, newbie and Rebecca Pardo, superfan) as we neurotically parse the text, subtext, and outfits of Sweet Valley High, the beloved soapy series of the 80s. From school dances to amnesia to hysterical paralysis, we’ll cover the trials and tribulations of America’s most troubled and triumphant twins.

    Information

    • Creator
      Sweet Valley Hive
    • Years Active
      2023 - 2025
    • Episodes
      80
    • Rating
      Explicit
    • Copyright
      © Sweet Valley Hive
    • Show Website
      Sweet Valley Hive

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