The Deep C Snack Labs

Oncology parents instantly connect on so many levels because our experience is so nuanced and unique, but it's especially familiar and comfortable talking to a parent whose child has the exact same diagnosis as yours. Under the absolute worst circumstances, it turns out that it IS possible to find people who can make you feel seen and supported.
In this episode, we share our experience with our kids Embryonal Rhabdomyosarcoma - through diagnosis, treatment and scans, we relate on every single level. It was like talking to an old friend, Ebony was so easy and willing to share.
We go deep into hope, support and Ebony's faith in God to carry her through her son's treatment.

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Today we speak with Jasmine Miller, a Child Life Specialist at the UF Proton Therapy Institute in Jacksonville, Florida. Jasmine gives parents her strategies on working with kids to face the really big scary feelings that come with a cancer diagnosis, and she shares some vulnerable truths of what children confess to her about their treatment when their parents aren’t in the room.
Jasmine has her bachelor's degree in music therapy and has a masters degree in child development. She has been working with children with chronic illness in the hospice world since she was 18 yrs old, and she is the child of a stage 4 lung cancer survivor.
Jasmine talks about the importance of the mental and emotional health of a child during their cancer treatment, and ways she can support the entire family to find joy and connection during a dark and scary time.
https://www.floridaproton.org/

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When I first met Julie, I felt this deep enduring strength inside of her. The kind of an embattled solider who had seen war many, many times. I knew she was the perfect person to talk about the roller coaster of this disease, how totally unpredictable and out of control it can be, and how difficult (I actually think we use the word impossible in our conversation) it is to ride it. How do you get comfortable knowing your world could be thrown upside-down in an instant? How do you do life, how do you function, how do you buy your child shoes for the next season when you’re not even sure they’ll be alive to wear them? And that’s what I loved and appreciated so much about Julie, she didn’t shy away from these questions and instead spoke honestly and candidly about her struggles, her anger, and what it feels like to take knock after knock and just keep going against the fiercest storm.
Julie’s 6 yr old son Carson was diagnosed with Leukaemia when he was two, with a rare genetic mutation called the Philadelphia Chromosome that makes his treatment more complex. He relapsed during maintenance, received a bone marrow transplant with his big brother Reid as his donor, and it worked - for over 2 years Carson was cancer free. This past Christmas, literally on Christmas Day, Julie received the devastating news that Carson had relapsed for a second time, catapulting them back into the world they thought was behind them. So behind them in fact, that Carson barely remembered his first treatment and was now reentering the cancer world as a very alert, aware and reluctant 6 year old who wanted none of this.
Julie and I talk about the armour we wear during our kids' treatment and if it ever feels safe to take it off. If you’re in a relapse or if you feel like everywhere you turn there’s just another blow, another complication, another setback, take a listen because Julie is proof that we can survive in uncertainty, and that we have more to give than we sometimes believe.

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My conversation with Erin was special from the second she opened her mouth. She is the most gentle, warm and beautiful soul, and so willing to share and get vulnerable about what life was like after her daughter Arden passed 4 years ago.
At Arden’s 12 month check up, Erin mentioned to her paediatrician that Arden had a small bump on her chest, and her doctor brushed it off as a lipoma. But Erin knew that Arden hadn't been herself, she was pale, bruising and, as we ALL know, something just didn’t feel right. After many more trips to the doctor, Erin finally brought Arden to the ER with the firm intention of not leaving until she had answers.
After ultrasounds and scans, Erin was brought back into a very sterile ER hospital room, I know you know the room, and with her baby in her lap, the doctors said they found a grapefruit sized tumour in Arden’s abdomen and tests would later indicate she had Neuroblastoma.
I don’t take conversations about our kids lightly. When a parent is opening up and sharing the details of their child’s life, I consider it an honour to be trusted, and I do everything to create a space that feels safe to do that. In my conversation with Erin, we do talk about Arden’s EXTENSIVE treatment that involved surgeries, chemo, a tandem bone marrow transplant, radiation and relapse.
I don’t include these details in the episode you’ll hear today because Erin’s gift to us is how she describes walking through the time after Arden passed, the signs she's received, what’s brought her comfort, what she believes, and the ways she’s tried to process Arden’s loss.
I’ll also add for context that Erin found out she was pregnant towards the end of Arden’s life, and she graciously and openly shares how she mothered Arden as well as the baby growing inside her.
I’m telling you, Erin will enter your heart and never leave.
This episode is for Arden, and Griff 💛

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Kevin’s son Asher was diagnosed at 3 months old with LCH when it was still a very rare cancer diagnosis with minimal research and a trial and error treatment plan. Kevin’s wife Katy became the “medical” parent while he was the parent who kept life running. Kevin speaks candidly about their division of roles and how they kept an open and consistent line of communication with each other throughout Asher’s treatment as a way to stay connected and make sure the other was feeling supported and cared for.
Kevin shares his eternally optimistic attitude about Asher’s diagnosis, and how committed he and his wife Katy were to getting to the other side of treatment. Kevin also opens up about his feelings about their daughter who was 5 years old when Asher was diagnosed. He shares how painful it is to remember how his daughter felt during that time, and how she was the “forgotten sibling”, a pain so many parents with multiple children feel when one child has medical needs. Kevin is so gracious with his open and vulnerable feelings around his regrets, and by sharing his honest account of Asher's treatment, he connects us all because we know these exact feelings.
This conversation is both heartbreaking and also heart affirming, Kevin is an incredible dad to both his kids, and the way he describes the impenetrable bond he and Katy have on the other side of Asher’s treatment is absolutely beautiful.
This episode covers parenting dynamics through a cancer diagnosis, the roles we adopt, how we parent multiple children, and what it feels like to go back to normal too fast after treatment is done.

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My husband and I are VERY different, like we're about as opposite as it gets, but somehow we’ve found a way to intersect where it matters the most to us. We have our outside life where people at parties would think we're strangers, and our inside life where our roots grow so far and widespread you will never find where they end. 
When our daughter was diagnosed, our differences for some reason worked in our favour. He became our pillar of strength and I became our pillar of action. While he was holding her hand, I was holding our life. Both equally important. 
Our conversation in this episode exposes our differences in a way I think a lot of partnerships will relate. My husband, an internal processor, was head down, steady strokes, with a firm as hell resolve that we would make it to shore. I, on the other hand, the external processor, had to feel and experience everything - the drowning, the gasping, the sinking, and the darkness. Lots of darkness (still some darkness). But also the blinding light that inevitably follows - light like I've never, ever known. 
The different ways parents move through their child's diagnosis can be so complex and unique, both as individuals and partners, but the one common unwavering thread is the love we have for our children. 
There are no differences among us when it comes to that. 
McNabb family blog fromlandtoc.com
Email and reach out at thedeepcpodcast@gmail.com

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