The Kink Consultant

Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant

Welcome to The Kink Consultant podcast, where we’re turning up the heat on all things kink in dating, relationships, and pop culture! Join Amanda each week as she dishes out the juiciest stories, expert advice, and shares a sneak peek behind the bedroom door—with some amazing guests along for the ride. Whether you're just a little kink-curious, ready to spice things up, or a seasoned pro, there's something here for you! Expect fun, laughter, and a whole lot of eye-opening conversations as we explore the wild world of intimacy, kink, and those oh-so-intriguing D/s dynamics.

  1. 3D AGO

    Why Obsession Happens and Why Fighting It Makes It Worse with Kirsten Aut

    Being obsessed with someone can be so embarrassing. Frankly, you barely even know this person but somehow your brain has decided that this person is now the main character of your life. Been there, done that.  In this episode, I sit down with my coach, Kirsten Aut to talk about obsession in a way that feels honest, relatable, and way less shameful. We unpack why obsession happens, why trying to “just stop thinking about it” never works, and how desire, fantasy, and attachment get all tangled together when someone lights up your nervous system just enough to throw you off balance. If you have ever thought, “Why am I like this?” or caught yourself spiraling over someone you barely dated, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and a lot less alone. Episode Highlights:  00:00 Understanding Obsession and Attachment 12:01 Realizations and Reflections on Obsession 27:20 Growth Mindset in Relationships 29:37 Navigating Modern Dating 35:01 Trusting Your Intuition 38:51 Manifestation and Personal Growth Connect with Kristen Aut https://www.newbadassyou.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thekristenaut/ https://www.tiktok.com/@thekristenaut Join the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreat Get your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist Connect with Me:  ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

    52 min

  2. 2025-12-25

    5 BDSM Scene Ideas You’ll Want To Try Tonight with Alesandra of Dom Sub Living

    Who says you need a dungeon or hours of planning for a night you’ll never forget? In this episode we're sharing 5 simple and powerful BDSM scene ideas you can use tonight—no fancy gear or prep required. From voice-only command scenes and sensory deprivation with household items, to secret service rituals, playful punishment games, and emotional restraint with praise, you’ll find inspiration for any dynamic. Plus, don’t miss the 5-minute scene challenge! Ready to make your night unforgettable? Check out our “Scene Creation Mastery” (only $9!) at https://domsubliving.com/scene-creation-mastery/ Connect with Alessandra https://domsubliving.com/ https://www.instagram.com/domsubliving/ https://www.tiktok.com/@domsubliving https://www.facebook.com/domsubliving https://www.youtube.com/@DomSubLiving?sub_confirmation=1 Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Get your FREE BDSM Checklist HEREhttps://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist Connect with Me:  ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

    33 min

  3. 2025-12-18

    Great Sex Start with a Good Conversation with Dr. Tara

    Talking about sex should not be this hard, and yet for so many people, it still is. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Tara, tenured professor of relational sexual communication, host of the Luvbites podcast, and author of How Do You Like It?, to talk about what actually makes a sex life and a relationship work. We cover everything from why emotional safety is the real prerequisite for good communication, to how shame shows up in our relationships long before we ever talk about kink. Dr. Tara shares what she teaches her university students about sexual communication across the lifespan, from sexual debut to long-term partnership, aging, and everything in between. We talk about why most people were never taught how to talk about sex, money, or desire, and how that lack of language quietly impacts intimacy. If you have ever struggled to ask for what you want, felt disconnected from a partner, or wished there was a guidebook for navigating intimacy, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a lot to reflect on. Episode Highlights:  00:00 Sexual Communication and Education 08:43 Emotional Safety in Relationships 17:50 Personal Divorce Stories and Lessons Learned 18:42 Communicating About Money and Sex in Relationships 22:30 Essential Communication in Relationships 25:22 Understanding Sexual Preferences and Polyamory Grab a copy of her book: How Do You Like It?: A Guide for Getting What You Want (in Bed) https://amzn.to/4iWt60a Connect with Dr. Tara  https://www.luvbites.co/ https://www.instagram.com/luvbites.co/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrbW6PCKjgcxkq3dTvjjeyQ https://open.spotify.com/show/2SZ60RxLOyQ900l4PgJAlT Join the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreat Get your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist Connect with Me:  ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

    36 min

  4. 2025-12-11

    The Only Dating App That Understands Kink with Pieter of BeeDee App

    One thing about kinky dating: it should not be this hard to find your people. Thankfully, BeeDee App exists and yes, I brought Pieter back on the podcast because a lot has happened since the first time he was here. In this episode, Pieter and I get into compatibility percentages, brat detection failures, monogamy filters, and why BeeDee is miles better than scrolling through FetLife hoping someone in your city is actually compatible. We also talk about BeeDee’s new features like incognito mode and travel mode, and the wild stats behind how many messages, matches, and relationships are happening because of this app.  If you’ve ever wished kinky dating felt easier, more intentional, and way less chaotic, this episode is your permission slip to finally download the app, take the test, and meet people who actually match you inside and outside the bedroom. Episode Highlights:  00:00 Personal Experiences with BeeDee App 13:24 The Origin Story of BeeDee App 20:29 New Features and Updates on BeeDee App 29:47 Upcoming Features on BeeDee App Download the BeeDee App  https://web.beedee.app/ Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Sign-Up For the TCK Couples Retreat: https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist Connect with Me:  ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

    34 min

  5. 2025-12-04

    Q&A With My Dom Part 2: What Makes a Good Dom?

    "The number one thing about being a Dom is you need to have the best interest of the other person in mind.You cannot take advantage of the other person because of their submissive role." In this episode, we're continuing the conversation about finding Doms, and what actually makes a good one. Spoiler: it's not about being the strictest or the loudest, it's about showing up consistently, knowing when to admit you're wrong, and understanding that feelings can (and will) change how you play. We dive into what he's actually looking for in a submissive, how he deals with performance anxiety without spiraling, and why sometimes the best thing a Dom can do is pause the whole D/S dynamic. If you've been wondering what separates a good Dom from someone who just talks a big game, or you're trying to level up your own leadership without losing your mind, you'll definitely enjoy this episode. Episode Highlights:  00:00 Understanding the Dom-Sub Dynamic 06:28 Educating Your Dom 11:09 Consistency in Dom-Sub Relationships 20:59 Support and Consistency in D/s Dynamics 27:29 Spotting Submissive Tendencies 38:42 Exploring New Dynamics Together Sign-up for the Couples Retreat! For couples and curious duos ready to explore kink, deepen trust, and turn communication into connection. ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist⁠ Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at ⁠https://www.kinkycruise.com⁠ and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: ⁠https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/⁠ Connect with Me:  ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠

    38 min

  6. 2025-11-27

    Q&A With My Dom Part 1: Where Can I Find A Dom?

    One of the questions I get constantly is, “Where can I find a Dom?” So in this episode, I sit down with my Dom to talk honestly about where real Doms come from, how he found the kink community, and what he actually looks for when choosing a submissive. In this episode, he shares how he found the kink community, what shaped the way he leads, and how our dynamic started long before either of us named it. We talk about emotional steadiness, consistency, red flags, green flags, and the difference between a man performing dominance and someone who can genuinely hold you.  If you’ve ever wondered where to meet a Dom, how to choose one, or what a grounded power exchange feels like from the inside, this conversation gives you a clear, real-world look behind the scenes. Episode Highlights:  00:00 Discovering FetLife and Online Communities 05:33 Learning and Growing as a Dom 24:11 How We Actualy Me 25:48 Advice for Subs and Doms in the Dating World 33:59 The Importance of Communication and Flexibility 36:16 Handling Emotional Regulation and Vulnerability 40:06 Respecting Boundaries and Insecurities How to Tell Your Partner Your Kink Join this 1-hr workshop and learn how to talk to your partner about your kink without shame, panic, or awkward silence https://www.amandadames.com/offers/GvipoKWe/checkout Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Connect with Me:  ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

    44 min

  7. 2025-11-20

    Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Behind the Secret Sex Stories with Kathy Kay

    Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay  In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way. Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame. If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure. Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Episode Highlights:  (00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born (09:00) The Stories Behind the Book (18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure (23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships (35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and Confession Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠ Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Connect with Me:  ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Check Out My Friday Vibe Series:  https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/ Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

    42 min

  8. 2025-11-13

    When Your ADHD Brain Meets Your Kinky Side with Cate Osborn

    What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think. In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure. We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare. If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood. Episode Highlights:  00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap 12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink 19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy 21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence 24:41 Personal Kink Journeys 28:54 Normalizing Kink and Communication Pre-Order her book here:  ​​https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guide Connect with Cate:  https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/ https://catieosaurus.com Connect with Me:  ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Let’s take kink to the high seas!  Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person. Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure. https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

    32 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Welcome to The Kink Consultant podcast, where we’re turning up the heat on all things kink in dating, relationships, and pop culture! Join Amanda each week as she dishes out the juiciest stories, expert advice, and shares a sneak peek behind the bedroom door—with some amazing guests along for the ride. Whether you're just a little kink-curious, ready to spice things up, or a seasoned pro, there's something here for you! Expect fun, laughter, and a whole lot of eye-opening conversations as we explore the wild world of intimacy, kink, and those oh-so-intriguing D/s dynamics.

Information

  • Creator
    Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    66
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant
  • Show Website
    The Kink Consultant

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