Two decades ago, I graduated university. I took a job writing copy for a small online business that rented holiday properties, and my role was to add content for the search engines to bring in traffic. It was a 9-to-5 kind of thing. I liked my employer and coworkers. And the job itself, I voraciously learned as much as I could and pumped out all the work that was assigned to me. Pretty soon, I was able to finish my output by lunchtime. And when I asked for more, my employer offered it. And this went on for a few months. Eventually, there came a time when my employer told me, “we don’t have more to assign today.” My response was, “Okay… well can I go home?” which seemed reasonable enough. I wasn’t even asking to be paid for the hours. Her response: “No, you can’t go home. You have to remain at your desk.” I couldn’t believe it. A part of me rebelled. I couldn’t imagine sitting at a desk for hours every afternoon, needing to ‘make up work’ that was unncessary, rather than having the freedom to do my own thing. A quiet voice spoke to me. This isn’t for you. You are meant for more. I tried to stuff it down, reminding myself of the practical, real-world responsibilities I had at the time. Paying rent. Buying groceries. Saving for a mortgage. But still, the quiet voice wouldn’t relent. A fire burned deeper than my practical fears. This was the First Fire of my soul. And I couldn’t put it out. Well, I didn’t last much longer at the job before striking out on my own. I began publishing an online magazine called Brave New Traveler, which featured my own writings alongside guest authors, that spoke to the magic and mystery of travelling off the beaten path. From there, I was noticed and invited to join a larger travel publishing network with a global reach. Somewhere in there, I also became a documentary filmmaker - recognizing the power of the medium to change the world and shift consciousness en masse in a short period of time. And so I followed the calling of my soul. I produced films like Sacred Economics and Occupy Love. I loved the collaboration, the storytelling, and the impact. But behind the scenes, there was heartbreak. In the middle of that momentum, after a decade together, my marriage crumbled. It wasn’t just a legal separation - it was the total dismantling of the world I had known for my entire adulthood. I was cast out of the home and the life we had shared, once again adrift. The stability I had built, the shared vision of our future had turned to ash. I was awash in the wreckage of a life I thought was certain, navigating a depth of grief I wasn’t prepared for. In the wake of that collapse, I threw myself even deeper into the craft. I produced films like Amplify Her, Lost Nation Road, and The Village of Lovers. Filmmaking became the outlet of my creative soul and my search for meaning. I met a new partner & became a father. But then, about 5 years ago… I remember feeling that small voice inside again… clear, grounded, and directive. It’s time to shift. You have achieved what you intended with your films. You have said what you wanted to say. It was the closing of this chapter, this first fire. And the beginning of the next. It was few years before this that I encountered ‘men’s work.’ At the Tamera research village in Portugal, I sat in my first intergenerational men’s circle. Young men and old men, wrestling with masculinity and how to show up powerful and in service to life. A frequency I had never experienced before was transmitted. And I was changed. I returned home and attended the New Warrior Training Adventure with the Mankind Project. I was taken on a descent and return, and I rediscovered a core trust in men that I didn’t know I had lost. A few years after, I began publishing The Mythic Masculine podcast, to explore the mythopoetic lineage and the role of archetypes, ritual, and culture work in the modern world. Somewhere in there, my film career began to fall away. The Second Fire of my life was kindled, and is now ablaze. For the last two years, alongside in-person and online transformational containers, I’ve been working 1:1 with men, usually between the ages of 30 and 60. Many of them come because of a specific challenge or pattern that I find intimately familiar to my own story. What I offer them is what I’ve had to learn myself: Archetypal maps to name what’s happening beneath the surface. Somatic practices to move it through the body. Ritual practices to mark the death of the old identity and authorize the new one. Here’s what I’ve come to realize: None of these challenges are isolated. Underneath, they are all connected by a deeper shift. It would be easy to call it a “midlife crisis.” That’s what this culture tends to do. But none of that addresses the deeper stirring of the soul, which is what these breakdowns actually represent. James Hollis calls it the Midlife Passage. It’s an opportunity to ask the sometimes frightening, always liberating, question: “Who am I apart from my history and the roles I have played?” When we discover that we have been living what constitutes a “false self,” that we have been enacting a “provisional adulthood,” then we open the possibility for the second adulthood—our true personhood. Maybe you’re in your 30s, 40s, or 50s. On paper, your life is “fine.” But beneath the noise of your responsibilities, there is that voice. Maybe it’s whispering: “There has to be more than this.” Today I’m announcing a new 1:1 mentorship container for men, designed for this threshold. It’s called The Second Fire. It’s not about optimizing your productivity, or biohacking your body. It’s about apprenticing yourself to your soul. Men, if you’re stirred by this invitation, and feel at the beginning (or in the midst) of this passage, then this invitation is for you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit themythicmasculine.substack.com/subscribe
