Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Esther’s Office Hours

Esther speaks to a man struggling to live a life he can enjoy. He feels wracked with guilt over a troubled history with his birth mother and her life of suffering. She was unable to raise him, but now she needs him to be there for her. He questions what he owes her for the life she gave him.

Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A couple with two small children are at physical and emotional odds in their relationship. One has given herself over entirely to the children, while the other struggles to find her place within the family dynamic. She yearns for the physical closeness she once had with her wife, while the other is, as she puts it, “all touched out.” Esther encourages them to see their different roles as mutually beneficial and stresses the importance of “feeding the relationship” away from the children.
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When couples come to Esther, she works to help them find a path forward if they so choose it. But when one partner refuses to walk the path, there is profound sadness and grief there. In this Behind the Scenes, Esther sits down with her producer Jesse to debrief after a session that left her feeling like the couple's story didn't need to end that way.

After 20 years together, they wonder if their marriage has run its course? She is too unhappy to stay together and doubts if she ever felt true passion for him. He is holding onto the relationship for the both of them and refusing to truly hear her. Esther explores his desire for hope and her desire for change.
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This episode was recorded before October 7th and before the escalation of the intractable conflict in the Middle East.

Conflict and disagreement are unavoidable in any relationship. So when Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne came to Esther with a question, she was ready for them. They wanted to talk about the divide in the world (politically and socially) and how that divide can turn families, friends, and loved ones against each other. Esther believes that while people can hold contradictions and multiples, and may even think radically differently from you, they can still care for and love you. And what we lack often are the tools to deal with these conflicts and differences in values or political opinions. Listen in on this Apple Subscriber bonus as Tig and Stephanie talk to Esther about how we can learn to stay in hard conversations when we disagree with the people we love.

For even more from Esther on the topic of conflict go to https://www.estherperel.com/courses/turning-conflict-into-connection.

To listen to Tig Notaro's podcast "Handsome" go to https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/handsome/id1702258458.

How do you begin to define a new identity for yourself when you've left the comforts of the world you've known in search of a bigger life? This is what Esther helps a new mom of two figure out as she navigates a new country, new friendships and a new approach to big changes. How to not put the pressure of everything on your partner and try to build a community to support YOU.

Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
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