In this episode of Compost the Empire, Ethos and Logina are joined by Black queer ethical non-monogamy coach, speaker, and author Evita “LaVita Loca” Sawyers to explore what it actually means to decolonize identity, attachment, and love in real life, not just in theory. We move from big language about “decolonization” down into the body: nervous systems shaped by empire, internal surveillance, and the schisms we create to survive. Together, we ask what it means to be indigenous to ourselves and how polyamory can act like an “operating system update” for how we do connection, community, and care. Evita shares from her lived experience as a polyamory educator, parent, and survivor, weaving in how race, class, disability, and housing insecurity shape access to love, village, and long-term support — and why we need to stop treating romantic partnership as the only place where “doing life together” is allowed. In this episode, we explore: Compassion as a core decolonial practice when none of us were taught how to do this wellPolyamory as an “OS update” from monogamy, and why it’s really just complex human relating on steroidsIntersectionality and why every layer of identity informs how we give and receive loveRomantic relationships as sites of literal survival (housing, money, care) under capitalismReimagining village, queer kinship networks, and “people to do life with” beyond couplesConflict, rupture, and repair without carceral logics or sitcom timelinesTrauma, somatics, and the questions Evita uses with clients: “Where are you right now?” and “What did you hear me say?”Making friends with the ego as a safety tool, instead of waging war on ourselvesLove as praxis: the ongoing choice to stay, pause, repair, or lovingly part waysA question from Evita to carry with you: How am I being indigenous to myself?What feels native, honest, and at home in my body and identity — beyond performance or pressure from any side? About Evita “LaVita Loca” SawyersEvita is a Black queer ethical non-monogamy coach, speaker, educator, and author known for her frank, emotionally honest approach to polyamory. She appeared in the documentary Poly Love, created the daily reflection project Today’s Polyamory Reminder, and wrote A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Non-Monogamous. Her work supports people opening up from monogamy, working with jealousy, and learning to communicate complex emotions with clarity and compassion. (Add Evita’s website / socials / book links here.) Workshop InvitationThis conversation opens the portal for our upcoming workshop with Evita and Logina: Decolonizing Identity: From Internalized Surveillance to Relational Truth📅 February 1🔗 Register: bit.ly/NeuroColonization101 Support the EcosystemIf this episode gave you language, resonance, or a place to breathe, consider supporting Compost the Empire through our Substack. Think of it less as a subscription and more as mycelial economics — small, distributed support that lets this body of work grow without being distorted. We’re also open to sponsorships from brands, collectives, and organizations rooted in care, repair, dignity, and relationship (not extraction or greenwashing). If that’s you, reach out via the contact info in the show notes.
