Should You Do a 90-Day Sex Fast? Understanding the Purpose, Pitfalls, and Path to Deeper Intimacy Episode Summary Is a 90-day sex fast the right choice for your relationship? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most frequently discussed—and often misunderstood—recommendations in betrayal recovery and unwanted sexual behavior treatment. Rather than focusing on whether couples should or shouldn't abstain from sexual activity, they examine the purpose behind a 90-day reset and why intentionality matters far more than the number of days. They discuss how a temporary pause in sexual activity can reduce pressure, create emotional safety, and help couples develop healthier patterns of connection. At the same time, they caution that without clear expectations and a shared plan, a sex fast can create frustration, distance, or unrealistic expectations rather than healing. Listeners will learn why rebuilding intimacy requires much more than simply removing sex from the relationship. True healing comes from strengthening psychological safety, emotional connection, honest communication, affection, friendship, and shared experiences. Whether you're considering a sex fast or simply looking for healthier ways to reconnect, this episode offers practical guidance for building a stronger relationship. Based on their clinical experience, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn encourage couples to view a 90-day sex fast not as a rule or punishment, but as one possible tool for resetting patterns, developing greater self-mastery, and creating deeper intimacy that extends well beyond the bedroom. Key Takeaways A 90-day sex fast is a tool—not a requirement—for healing. Couples should clearly define what a "sex fast" means before beginning. The primary goal is to reduce pressure and rebuild trust, not simply abstain from sex. Emotional, verbal, intellectual, and relational intimacy should intentionally increase during the fast. Learning sexual self-mastery and emotional regulation benefits both partners. Physical affection may still be appropriate if both partners establish healthy boundaries together. Without a thoughtful plan, a sex fast can create distance rather than connection. The healthiest outcome is a stronger overall relationship—not simply the return of sexual activity. Tools for Your Healing Journey The Intimacy Pyramid – Build your relationship on psychological safety, trust, and multiple forms of intimacy before focusing on sexual intimacy. Emotional Regulation & Sexual Self-Mastery – Learn healthier ways to regulate emotions and sexual desire without relying exclusively on sexual behavior for comfort or connection. Intentional Relationship Rituals – Daily practices such as walking together, reading together, meaningful conversations, laughter, and shared experiences strengthen connection throughout the healing process. Podcast Discussion Questions – Additional conversation questions are available in the Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course to help couples continue these conversations together. Your Next Steps Healing after betrayal doesn't happen through information alone—it happens through intentional practice, guided conversations, and consistent connection. 1. Join Our Free Podcast Companion Course Looking for additional support between episodes? Our Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course is completely free and includes discussion questions, companion resources, and practical exercises designed to help you apply the principles from each podcast episode to your own relationship. Whether you're listening on your own or together as a couple, these resources will help you deepen your conversations, strengthen your connection, and continue making meaningful progress between episodes. Enroll for free today: https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/human-intimacy-podcast 2. Ready for a Deeper Level of Healing? If you and your spouse are ready to move beyond simply surviving betrayal and begin rebuilding trust, emotional safety, and lasting intimacy, we invite you to join us for the Intimacy Repair Method Couples Intensive, September 9–13, 2026 in the beautiful mountains of Utah. This immersive five-day retreat is designed specifically for committed couples seeking lasting healing after betrayal. You'll work personally with Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, through private couples sessions, experiential exercises, and the proven Intimacy Repair Method. Together, you'll learn practical tools to strengthen communication, restore trust, deepen emotional connection, and create a roadmap for your future together. Your retreat experience includes comfortable lodging, delicious meals, and a memorable mountain adventure designed to foster connection in a peaceful, restorative setting. Because of the personalized nature of this intensive, space is intentionally limited to ensure every couple receives individualized attention. Learn more and reserve your place today: https://intimacyrepairmethod.com/irm-for-couples-intensive-1 3. Continue Learning with Human Intimacy Explore additional articles, relationship assessments, online courses, and practical resources designed to help individuals and couples build healthier, more connected relationships. Visit: https://humanintimacy.com If you have questions or would like us to discuss a future topic on the Human Intimacy Podcast, we'd love to hear from you at: info@humanintimacy.com "Healing doesn't happen by avoiding difficult conversations—it happens by learning how to have them safely. Whether you begin with our free Podcast Companion Course or join us for an immersive Couples Intensive, we're honored to be part of your journey toward deeper connection, lasting intimacy, and a stronger relationship."