The Human Intimacy Podcast

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Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

  1. vor 20 Std.

    Should You Do a 90-Day Sex Fast? Understanding the Purpose, Pitfalls, and Path to Deeper Intimacy (Episode #129)

    Should You Do a 90-Day Sex Fast? Understanding the Purpose, Pitfalls, and Path to Deeper Intimacy Episode Summary Is a 90-day sex fast the right choice for your relationship? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most frequently discussed—and often misunderstood—recommendations in betrayal recovery and unwanted sexual behavior treatment. Rather than focusing on whether couples should or shouldn't abstain from sexual activity, they examine the purpose behind a 90-day reset and why intentionality matters far more than the number of days. They discuss how a temporary pause in sexual activity can reduce pressure, create emotional safety, and help couples develop healthier patterns of connection. At the same time, they caution that without clear expectations and a shared plan, a sex fast can create frustration, distance, or unrealistic expectations rather than healing. Listeners will learn why rebuilding intimacy requires much more than simply removing sex from the relationship. True healing comes from strengthening psychological safety, emotional connection, honest communication, affection, friendship, and shared experiences. Whether you're considering a sex fast or simply looking for healthier ways to reconnect, this episode offers practical guidance for building a stronger relationship. Based on their clinical experience, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn encourage couples to view a 90-day sex fast not as a rule or punishment, but as one possible tool for resetting patterns, developing greater self-mastery, and creating deeper intimacy that extends well beyond the bedroom. Key Takeaways A 90-day sex fast is a tool—not a requirement—for healing. Couples should clearly define what a "sex fast" means before beginning. The primary goal is to reduce pressure and rebuild trust, not simply abstain from sex. Emotional, verbal, intellectual, and relational intimacy should intentionally increase during the fast. Learning sexual self-mastery and emotional regulation benefits both partners. Physical affection may still be appropriate if both partners establish healthy boundaries together. Without a thoughtful plan, a sex fast can create distance rather than connection. The healthiest outcome is a stronger overall relationship—not simply the return of sexual activity. Tools for Your Healing Journey The Intimacy Pyramid – Build your relationship on psychological safety, trust, and multiple forms of intimacy before focusing on sexual intimacy. Emotional Regulation & Sexual Self-Mastery – Learn healthier ways to regulate emotions and sexual desire without relying exclusively on sexual behavior for comfort or connection. Intentional Relationship Rituals – Daily practices such as walking together, reading together, meaningful conversations, laughter, and shared experiences strengthen connection throughout the healing process. Podcast Discussion Questions – Additional conversation questions are available in the Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course to help couples continue these conversations together. Your Next Steps Healing after betrayal doesn't happen through information alone—it happens through intentional practice, guided conversations, and consistent connection. 1. Join Our Free Podcast Companion Course Looking for additional support between episodes? Our Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course is completely free and includes discussion questions, companion resources, and practical exercises designed to help you apply the principles from each podcast episode to your own relationship. Whether you're listening on your own or together as a couple, these resources will help you deepen your conversations, strengthen your connection, and continue making meaningful progress between episodes. Enroll for free today: https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/human-intimacy-podcast 2. Ready for a Deeper Level of Healing? If you and your spouse are ready to move beyond simply surviving betrayal and begin rebuilding trust, emotional safety, and lasting intimacy, we invite you to join us for the Intimacy Repair Method Couples Intensive, September 9–13, 2026 in the beautiful mountains of Utah. This immersive five-day retreat is designed specifically for committed couples seeking lasting healing after betrayal. You'll work personally with Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, through private couples sessions, experiential exercises, and the proven Intimacy Repair Method. Together, you'll learn practical tools to strengthen communication, restore trust, deepen emotional connection, and create a roadmap for your future together. Your retreat experience includes comfortable lodging, delicious meals, and a memorable mountain adventure designed to foster connection in a peaceful, restorative setting. Because of the personalized nature of this intensive, space is intentionally limited to ensure every couple receives individualized attention. Learn more and reserve your place today: https://intimacyrepairmethod.com/irm-for-couples-intensive-1 3. Continue Learning with Human Intimacy Explore additional articles, relationship assessments, online courses, and practical resources designed to help individuals and couples build healthier, more connected relationships. Visit: https://humanintimacy.com If you have questions or would like us to discuss a future topic on the Human Intimacy Podcast, we'd love to hear from you at: info@humanintimacy.com "Healing doesn't happen by avoiding difficult conversations—it happens by learning how to have them safely. Whether you begin with our free Podcast Companion Course or join us for an immersive Couples Intensive, we're honored to be part of your journey toward deeper connection, lasting intimacy, and a stronger relationship."

  2. 22. Juli

    Guilt After Betrayal: How Remorse Can Lead to Relationship Repair (Episode #128)

    Guilt After Betrayal: How Remorse Can Lead to Relationship Repair Episode Summary What role does guilt play after betrayal? Although guilt is often viewed as something negative, it can become an important force for accountability, empathy, and healing. Unlike shame—which says, “I am a mistake”—guilt recognizes, “I made a mistake, and my actions caused harm.” In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how healthy guilt can help someone move toward the person they have hurt. When guilt remains connected to empathy, it allows us to recognize another person’s pain, tolerate the discomfort of what we have done, and respond with meaningful efforts to repair. Shame, by contrast, often turns our attention inward, leading to defensiveness, withdrawal, or emotional shutdown. The conversation also examines guilt experienced by betrayed partners. Betrayal can affect a person’s ability to parent, connect, regulate emotions, and live according to their own values. That guilt must be met with compassion and an understanding that trauma temporarily changes what a person can carry. Repair is rarely accomplished through a single apology. It develops through repeated moments of emotional presence, accountability, compassion, and changed behavior. When guilt is approached wisely, it can help us turn toward ourselves and others with greater honesty, care, and courage. Resources & Links Mentioned in the Episode Shame vs. Guilt — Brené Brown Brown explains the important distinction between shame, which focuses on identity, and guilt, which focuses on behavior. The Power of Guilt: Why We Feel It and Its Surprising Ability to Heal — Chris Moore, PhD An exploration of guilt as a relational emotion that can encourage accountability, reconciliation, and repair. The Betrayal Bind — Michelle Mays A resource for understanding the attachment injuries and complex healing process associated with sexual betrayal. Note: The title and author were spoken imprecisely in the recording; the correct reference is Michelle Mays’s The Betrayal Bind. Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner A practical guide for couples seeking to understand betrayal, rebuild safety, and develop a more intentional path toward relationship repair. What Is Self-Compassion? — Kristin Neff, PhD An introduction to mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—the three central components of self-compassion. Self-Compassion Practices — Kristin Neff, PhD Guided practices for responding to guilt, pain, and self-criticism with greater compassion. Additional Support Human Intimacy Explore additional podcasts, courses, and resources for healing from betrayal and creating healthier relationships.

  3. 15. Juli

    Why Do I Still Feel Stuck? Understanding the Hidden Barriers to Healing After Betrayal (Episode #127)

    Why Do I Still Feel Stuck? Understanding the Hidden Barriers to Healing After Betrayal Episode Summary One of the most common questions betrayed partners ask is, "Why do I still feel stuck?" Despite reading books, attending therapy, participating in support groups, and listening to countless podcasts, many people feel like they aren't making the progress they expected. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore why feeling "stuck" is often a normal part of the healing process rather than a sign of failure. They discuss how trauma symptoms, incomplete disclosure, unresolved questions, unrealistic expectations, and misplaced responsibility can all interfere with recovery. The conversation also highlights the difference between individual healing and relational healing, emphasizing that while a relationship may temporarily feel stuck, an individual does not have to remain there. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain how healthy boundaries, differentiation, trauma-informed therapy, support groups, and compassionate communication create the conditions for lasting progress. Listeners will also learn why healing is a journey rather than an event, why comparing your progress to someone else's can be harmful, and how small intentional steps toward joy, self-awareness, and personal growth often become the turning points that move people forward. Whether you are the betrayed partner, the partner seeking recovery, or a clinician walking alongside couples, this episode offers practical guidance and hope for navigating one of the most discouraging stages of betrayal recovery. Key Takeaways Feeling stuck is often a normal part of betrayal trauma recovery. Healing is a journey, not a single event or milestone. Trauma symptoms such as intrusive thoughts, triggers, nightmares, and hypervigilance often improve gradually—not immediately. Full therapeutic disclosure often becomes a major turning point in healing. You cannot control another person's recovery or prevent someone else's relapse. Healthy boundaries focus on your response rather than controlling another person's behavior. Differentiation builds confidence by helping you act consistently with your own values. Trauma-informed therapies such as EMDR, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), and Internal Family Systems (IFS) can significantly assist healing. Support groups and trusted relationships provide essential stability when a partner cannot yet respond with empathy. Recovery grows through self-awareness, compassion, patience, and small daily steps rather than perfection. Resources To learn more about betrayal trauma recovery, relationship healing, and the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM), visit: Human Intimacy: https://www.humanintimacy.com Explore courses, assessments, podcasts, and additional recovery resources designed for individuals and couples rebuilding trust after betrayal. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may benefit from this conversation. Together we can help create healthier relationships built on honesty, compassion, and lasting intimacy.

  4. 8. Juli

    Differentiation: Staying Connected Without Losing Yourself (Episode #126)

    Differentiation: Staying Connected Without Losing Yourself Episode Summary Healthy relationships require both deep connection and a strong sense of self. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the concept of differentiation—the ability to remain emotionally connected to your partner while maintaining your own identity, values, emotions, and personal responsibility. The discussion examines how betrayal trauma often leads couples toward emotional enmeshment, where one partner's emotions, behaviors, or recovery begin to consume the other person's identity. Dr. Skinner explains why healing is not about becoming emotionally detached, but about developing the capacity to remain present with a partner's pain without becoming overwhelmed by it. Listeners will learn the difference between differentiation, attunement, emotional contagion, empathy, and compassion, and why these concepts are often confused. The episode also highlights the importance of self-awareness, healthy boundaries, personal identity, and individual responsibility in creating lasting intimacy after betrayal. Rather than trying to control a partner's recovery or emotions, healing occurs when each person learns to "stay in their own lane" while intentionally nurturing the relationship they are building together. Key Topics Discussed What differentiation is—and what it is not The difference between differentiation and emotional enmeshment Attunement versus emotional contagion Why betrayal trauma often causes partners to lose themselves Developing greater self-awareness and personal identity Healthy boundaries and personal responsibility The relationship between empathy and compassion Learning to stay in your own lane while remaining emotionally connected Caring for yourself without disconnecting from your partner Building a relationship where two healthy individuals create lasting intimacy together Resources If today's conversation resonated with you, we invite you to explore the many resources available through Human Intimacy. Visit Human Intimacy to: Take relationship and recovery assessments Explore our online courses for betrayed partners, individuals in recovery, and couples Learn about our relationship intensives and workshops Access books, articles, and educational resources on betrayal trauma, intimacy, and relationship repair Stay informed about upcoming events, trainings, and new podcast episodes If you have questions or would like to connect with us, email us at info@humanintimacy.com. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share the Human Intimacy Podcast with someone who could benefit from today's conversation. Your support helps us continue providing evidence-based resources to individuals and couples seeking healthier, stronger, and more connected relationships.

  5. 1. Juli

    How to Deal with Getting Cheated On: The First Steps Toward Healing After Betrayal (Episode #125)

    How to Deal with Getting Cheated On: The First Steps Toward Healing After Betrayal Podcast Summary What do you do after discovering your partner has cheated? Where do you even begin? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis tackle one of the most painful questions a person can ask: How do I deal with getting cheated on? Rather than offering quick fixes or encouraging you to simply "move on," they explain why infidelity often creates a genuine trauma response—and why healing begins with stabilization and safety before rebuilding trust or repairing a relationship. Drawing from decades of clinical experience and current research on betrayal trauma, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss why your mind and body react the way they do after discovering infidelity and outline the first steps toward recovery. In this episode, you'll learn: Why discovering infidelity often feels like psychological trauma. How betrayal affects your nervous system, sleep, appetite, and emotions. Why hypervigilance, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts are normal trauma responses. The difference between emotional stabilization and relationship repair. Practical ways to begin caring for yourself after discovery. Why safety looks different for the betrayed partner and the partner who acted out. The importance of finding trusted support instead of trying to heal alone. How the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) provides a roadmap for healing after betrayal. Whether your discovery happened days ago or years ago, this conversation offers validation, hope, and practical guidance to help you begin moving forward. Resources Mentioned 💙 Walking Through Betrayal Trauma: 100-Day Course A comprehensive step-by-step course designed to help betrayed partners stabilize, understand betrayal trauma, and begin healing. https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/100-days-to-healing-after-sexual-betrayal 🛡️ Boundaries Course Learn how healthy boundaries create safety, reduce anxiety, and support lasting healing after betrayal. https://www.humanintimacy.com 🌱 RISE: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal A podcast series and companion course created specifically for betrayed partners, providing education, validation, and practical tools for recovery. https://www.humanintimacy.com 🔄 RECLAIM: Recovery from Unwanted Sexual Behaviors A podcast and course designed to help individuals understand the roots of unwanted sexual behaviors while developing integrity, accountability, and lasting recovery. https://www.humanintimacy.com/reclaim 📊 Participate in the Grief After Betrayal Impact Scale (GABIS) Research Help advance research on betrayal trauma by participating in the Grief After Betrayal Impact Scale (GABIS). Your anonymous participation contributes to a better understanding of the emotional and physical effects of betrayal. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/GABIS-2 🤝 Human Intimacy Support Groups & Resources Discover online support groups, courses, intensives, podcasts, assessments, and additional resources designed to help both betrayed partners and individuals seeking recovery. https://www.humanintimacy.com If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need hope today. Healing after betrayal is possible, and you don't have to walk the journey alone.

  6. 24. Juni

    We Did the Disclosure… Now What? Why Healing Still Feels Incomplete (Episode #124)

    Disclosure Is the Beginning, Not the End Summary Many couples assume that once disclosure, impact letters, and emotional restitution are complete, healing should naturally follow. Yet many still find themselves feeling disconnected and wondering why they continue to struggle. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explain why disclosure is not the finish line but the foundation for rebuilding a relationship. Recovery and trauma work address secrecy and pain, but they do not automatically teach couples how to communicate, listen deeply, regulate emotions, and reconnect. Healing requires learning relationship skills, addressing old patterns, and developing new ways of showing up for one another. The journey doesn't end with disclosure—it begins there. Resources Mentioned Human Intimacy Podcast (previous episodes on Therapeutic Disclosure, Impact Letters, and Emotional Restitution) Human Intimacy Podcast Deep Listening: A Healing Practice to Calm Your Body, Clear Your Mind, and Open Your Heart by Jillian Pransky Deep Listening by Jillian Pransky The Intimacy Repair Method (courses, intensives, and relationship skill-building resources) Intimacy Repair Method Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course (free reflections, exercises, and video lessons) Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course Human Intimacy Courses (communication, emotional connection, and relationship education) Human Intimacy Courses Couples Intensives with Dr. Kevin Skinner Human Intimacy Website These resources are discussed as ways to continue developing the relationship skills necessary for healing after disclosure.

  7. 17. Juni

    How Do We Create Safety in a Relationship? 10 Keys to Rebuilding Trust and Connection (Episode # 123)

    How Do We Create Safety in a Relationship? 10 Keys to Rebuilding Trust and Connection In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most important questions couples can ask themselves: “How do we create safety in a relationship?” Drawing from attachment theory, betrayal trauma recovery, and clinical experience, they discuss how safety is not simply a thought or belief—it is a physiological experience that occurs when the nervous system feels secure enough to relax, connect, and trust. The conversation examines how unresolved wounds, betrayal, childhood experiences, and past traumas can disrupt a person's sense of safety and create hypervigilance, fear, and emotional distance. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain why repairing safety requires more than good intentions; it requires consistent actions that help both partners feel seen, understood, and protected. The episode outlines 10 practical ways couples can create safety, including accountability, humility, recovery work, emotional openness, compassion, vulnerability, communication skills, and attunement. Listeners are invited to reflect on what safety feels like in their own bodies, identify unresolved experiences that may still be influencing their relationships, and consider the specific behaviors that help foster trust and connection. Whether rebuilding after betrayal or strengthening an existing relationship, this episode offers a framework for understanding safety as the foundation of healing, intimacy, and secure attachment. Key Takeaways Safety is experienced through the nervous system before it is experienced cognitively. Unresolved wounds often create hypervigilance and make trust more difficult. Betrayal recovery requires intentional efforts to rebuild safety through actions, not promises. Couples can strengthen safety by practicing accountability, compassion, vulnerability, and attunement. Understanding what safety feels like physically can help individuals recognize when they are moving toward or away from connection. Creating safety is a skill that both partners can learn and practice over time. Resources Mentioned Books Attached — Amir Levine The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman & Nan Silver Wired for Love — Stan Tatkin The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk The Betrayal Bond — Patrick Carnes Research and Clinical Concepts Attachment Theory Betrayal Trauma Hypervigilance and PTSD Symptoms Nervous System Regulation Attunement and Secure Connection The Zeigarnik Effect Compassion vs. Empathy in Relationship Healing Provisional Perception (Patrick Carnes) Relationship Safety and Co-Regulation Learn More About the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) The concepts discussed in this episode are foundational principles of the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM)—a structured approach to helping individuals and couples heal from betrayal, rebuild safety, restore trust, and create deeper emotional connection. The IRM focuses on seven core pillars of healing: Stabilization Safety Boundaries Transparency and Integrity Empathy Repairing Reality Connection and Intimacy Through education, practical tools, guided exercises, and relationship-building skills, the Intimacy Repair Method helps couples move from crisis and uncertainty toward healing, security, and lasting connection. Note: If you are recovering from betrayal or working to rebuild trust in your relationship, the principles discussed in this episode are explored in greater depth through the Intimacy Repair Method (IRM), a comprehensive framework designed to help couples create safety, restore trust, and strengthen emotional connection. Learn more about the Intimacy Repair Method: https://intimacyrepairmethod.com

  8. 10. Juni

    How to Strengthen Your Relationship: The Questions Every Couple Should Be Asking (Episode #122)

    How to Strengthen Your Relationship: The Questions Every Couple Should Be Asking Podcast Summary Relationships rarely fail because couples stop caring. More often, they struggle because they stop asking the questions that create understanding, connection, and growth. In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the questions every couple should be asking to strengthen their relationship, improve communication, and build deeper emotional intimacy. Rather than focusing solely on relationship advice, they discuss how meaningful self-reflection and intentional conversations can help couples gain clarity about where they are, where they want to go, and how they want to show up for one another. Topics include rebuilding trust, creating emotional safety, vulnerability, attachment, relationship expectations, annual marriage check-ins, and navigating life's unexpected challenges. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss how experiences such as betrayal, infertility, parenting stress, health concerns, and other major life transitions often force couples to reevaluate their priorities and rediscover what matters most in their relationship. Listeners will learn how thoughtful questions can uncover hidden assumptions, increase self-awareness, reduce resentment, and strengthen connection. The episode also explores the relationship between safety, trust, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy, drawing on insights from attachment theory, relationship research, and neuroscience. Whether you're recovering from betrayal, working through conflict, or simply seeking a stronger and healthier marriage, this conversation offers practical tools to help you create more meaningful and intentional relationships. What You'll Learn Why the question "What are we doing?" can transform a relationship How relationship goals evolve over time The importance of annual marriage check-ins How trust, safety, and vulnerability influence connection Why major life events often require couples to reassess their relationship The role of self-awareness in relationship success How asking better questions leads to deeper emotional intimacy Practical journaling and reflection exercises for couples How to identify and address unspoken resentments Why relationship growth requires intentional effort Key Questions from This Episode What are we doing in this relationship? Why do I want to be in this relationship? What kind of relationship do I want moving forward? How am I showing up as a partner? Am I being the person I want to be? What am I feeling right now? How often am I listening versus defending? What conversations have we been avoiding? What do I want our relationship to look like one year from now? How can I contribute more positively to our relationship? Resources Mentioned Relationship Research & Attachment John Gottman & Julie Gottman Stephen Porges Peggy Vaughan Jim Collins Recommended Reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Eight Dates Attached Secure  Learn more @ HumanIntimacy.com

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Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

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