On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg
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Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships. 

  1. #236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

    -1 J

    #236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener who says they generally feel secure in their relationship — except when their partner travels and is physically away. During those periods, they experience intense separation anxiety, spiralling thoughts, and a sudden sense of insecurity that feels confusing and disproportionate. I talk about why distance and absence can be uniquely activating for anxiously attached nervous systems, even when a relationship is otherwise healthy and secure. We explore how separation can trigger old attachment wounds around abandonment, uncertainty, and loss of felt safety, and ways that you can support yourself both individually and relationally to better handle these challenges.

    8 min
  2. #235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

    -3 J

    #235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

    Attachment theory has become a widely used framework for understanding relationship patterns — but it’s often misunderstood, overextended, or treated as a complete explanation for human behaviour. In this episode, I revisit the foundations of attachment theory to clarify what attachment is actually designed to explain, what attachment styles describe, and where the limits of the framework are. This is a back-to-basics conversation intended to bring nuance and accuracy to how we use attachment language — especially in romantic relationships. In this episode, I cover: What attachment styles are really describing: relational stress and our habitual responses to itWhy attachment styles are not fixed, mutually exclusive categories — and how spectrums work in practiceHow attachment patterns are contextually responsive and can shift across different relationshipsWhat attachment theory explains — and what it was never meant to explainHow our attachment blueprint shapes our internal working model, even beyond close relationshipsWhy attachment is best used as a tool, not a totalising explanation for yourself or othersIf you’ve ever felt confused, boxed in by attachment labels, or frustrated by how attachment theory is used online, this episode offers a clearer and more grounded way of thinking about it. Take my free attachment quiz

    16 min
  3. #234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

    19 FÉVR.

    #234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, we explore one of the most common (and understandable) questions in anxious–avoidant dynamics: what actually helps an avoidant partner feel safe enough to open up emotionally? If you tend toward anxious attachment, it can feel deeply unsettling to sense that parts of your partner’s inner world are closed off to you. That can create a strong pull to try harder, ask more questions, or push for emotional access — often with the hope that if they open up, it will mean you’re finally “enough.” In this episode, we unpack why that instinct can backfire, and what genuinely supports emotional safety instead.

    7 min
  4. #233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

    17 FÉVR.

    #233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

    Situationships can feel exciting and full of potential, but over time they often become a source of anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt. In this episode, I explore why situationships are so hard to walk away from — particularly for people with anxious attachment — and why clarity can feel more threatening than staying in something uncertain. We look at how hope, ambiguity, and emotional breadcrumbs keep people invested in connections that aren’t actually meeting their needs, and why “waiting to see what happens” is often a form of self-abandonment rather than patience. I also talk about the nervous-system dynamics at play, and how these situations can keep you stuck in a cycle of overthinking, longing, and self-doubt. This episode isn’t about forcing commitment or issuing ultimatums. It’s about building the self-trust and self-respect required to stop participating in dynamics that keep you in limbo, and learning how to choose relationships that offer consistency, clarity, and emotional safety. Links Register for my free training on How to Heal Anxious Attachment & Finally Feel Secure in Life & Love Visit my website

    14 min
  5. #232: Why Do I Miss My Ex Now That I’m Dating Someone New? (Ask Steph)

    12 FÉVR.

    #232: Why Do I Miss My Ex Now That I’m Dating Someone New? (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, I’m answering a listener question about why old feelings can resurface when you re-enter the dating world, and what to do when that catches you off guard. In this episode, we explore: Why missing your ex after a breakup can show up later, not earlierHow dating again brings up fresh comparisons — and why that’s so normalThe difference between missing your ex and missing familiarity, comfort, or routineWhy comparing a new connection to a long-term relationship is often distortedHow not to spiral or make meaning out of these feelingsWhat to do instead of panicking or second-guessing your breakupIf you’re otherwise excited about someone new and this has thrown you, this episode is a reminder to slow down, stay grounded, and trust that this experience doesn’t have to mean anything is wrong. Links Going through a break-up? Register for my free breakup training here.If you’d like to submit a question for a future Ask Steph episode, I collect them via my weekly Instagram Q&A — come find me there and drop yours in.

    7 min
  6. #231: Why You Can't Love Someone Into Changing

    10 FÉVR.

    #231: Why You Can't Love Someone Into Changing

    In this episode, we explore the belief that if someone truly loved you, they would have changed — and why this story so often keeps people stuck in self-blame, rescuing, and self-abandonment. We look at the saviour complex, how it develops, and why real change has far more to do with timing and capacity than with how lovable or devoted you are. In this episode, we cover: Why “if they loved me, they would’ve changed” is such a convincing storyHow the saviour complex shows up in relationshipsThe line between compassion and self-abandonmentWhy people change when they’re ready — not when we love harderIf this resonates, you can register for my free training on healing anxious attachment here.

    16 min
  7. #230: How Do I Know My New Partner Will Be Better Than My Last One? (Ask Steph)

    5 FÉVR.

    #230: How Do I Know My New Partner Will Be Better Than My Last One? (Ask Steph)

    In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question that will feel very familiar to anyone with anxious attachment: How can I be certain that my new partner will be better for me than my last one? On the surface, this question makes sense. After being hurt, blindsided, or disappointed in past relationships, of course we want reassurance that it won’t happen again. But underneath it, there’s often a deeper issue at play — a lack of self-trust, and an anxious belief that it’s our job to prevent pain by being hyper-vigilant, prepared, and on guard. In this episode, I unpack why this question, while understandable, can actually keep you stuck in anxiety rather than moving you towards healthier relationships. We explore the difference between discernment and hypervigilance, and why trying to “de-risk” relationships often backfires. Rather than aiming for certainty or guarantees, this conversation invites a shift towards trusting yourself — your capacity to notice, respond, self-advocate, and take care of yourself as relationships unfold.

    6 min
  8. #229: The Hallmarks of a Secure Relationship

    3 FÉVR.

    #229: The Hallmarks of a Secure Relationship

    A secure relationship isn’t one where nothing ever goes wrong — it’s one where the foundation is strong enough to hold the hard stuff. For many people (especially those with anxious attachment), insecurity doesn’t come from being “too sensitive,” but from being in dynamics that lack safety, consistency, or clarity. In this episode, I break down five key qualities that tend to be present in secure relationships, and how they actually feel on a nervous system level. I cover: What emotional safety really looks like (and what it doesn’t)Why trust is about reliability and consistency, not just honestyHow secure couples approach conflict and repair after ruptureWhat it means for a relationship to be a secure base rather than a constant projectWhy shared vision and felt commitment are essential for long-term securityWhether you’re assessing your current relationship, healing after an insecure one, or wanting to understand what you’re moving towards, this episode offers a grounded framework for what relational security is built on — and what helps it endure. Explore my couples course, Secure Together Free resources for building secure attachment

    20 min
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À propos

Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships. 

Informations

  • Création
    Stephanie Rigg
  • Années d’activité
    2022 - 2026
  • Épisodes
    236
  • Classification
    Tous publics
  • Copyright
    © Stephanie Rigg
  • Site web de l’émission
    On Attachment

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