If I Speak

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Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean sort the personal from the political, tackle listener dilemmas and air their opinions on the frustrations of modern life.

VOR 6 TAGEN

99: How do you know when it’s time to quit?

Moya has been breaking the habit of a lifetime by choosing to stick with her choices rather than quit. She asks Ash how to trust your gut when it comes to leaving or staying, whether it’s a job, friendship or romance. Plus: would you use Chat GPT to name your baby? Next week it’s our […]

1 Std. 3 Min.
27. JAN.

98: Are we obsessed with having our feelings validated?

Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on […]

57 Min.
20. JAN.

97: When will I start feeling like a grown-up?

Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious? Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ […]

43 Min.
13. JAN.

96: Why are women choosing looks instead of books?

Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations […]

1 Std. 16 Min.
6. JAN.

95: Does British culture need saving? w/ Lanre Bakare

Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare. Lanre’s book, We […]

1 Std. 36 Min.
23.12.2025

94: Resentment, hostility, scarcity… is this modern dating? w/ Jordan Stephens

Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London […]

1 Std. 28 Min.
16.12.2025

93: I’m addicted to guilt. What’s wrong with me?

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak. Send […]

1 Std.
09.12.2025

92: Should we say something about women’s shrinking bodies?

NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY. After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing […]

1 Std. 9 Min.

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TRAILER

Introducing: If I Speak

On If I Speak, Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean tackle the world’s social dilemmas (and some of yours). Every other Tuesday we lay bare the weird stuff we can’t stop obsessing over, debate our wildest notions, and invite our smartest friends to help us wrestle with life’s big questions. From dating disorders to online etiquette, […]

19.02.2024

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Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean sort the personal from the political, tackle listener dilemmas and air their opinions on the frustrations of modern life.