Professional Contestants Zach Decker, Jared Smith, and Adam Decker

Ok, we get it. Maybe we can't just climb into an aquarium and expect to automatically win a bunch of random chance games against some fish. But what if we make ourselves really tiny first? And what if one of us is scuba certified? And what if we get an octopus involved? It probably still wont work, yeah, WE KNOW. At least eating the other contestants isn't explicitly off the table this time.
Zach is tickled by the idea of a fish naming another fish, Jared reminds everyone that he is scuba certified, and Adam can't imagine Godzilla running.
Talking Points Include: All Hail The King, Godzilla Plus One, Getting Called Out Via Mail, A Televised Screen Saver, Mr. Limpet's Diplomatic Immunity, Dexterous Lips, Feeding Frenzy Friday, A Reverse Shawshank, Two Little Jareds

We love the Queer Eye guys. The things they do to change peoples' lives for the better is pretty great. But if you ask us, it's time for a change. This time, the strong man, the bearded lady, the lion tamer, the clowns, and the ring leader are coming to town. They're here to tell you that you have a gross body and shoot you out of a cannon. All things just keep getting better!
Zach is afraid of corn specifically, Jared would pay money to see Joe Biden get shot out of a cannon, and Adam is certified to operate heavy machinery.
Talking Points Include: Forklift Certification, Corn of the Corn, Fish Center, A Severe Lack of Fluff, Anti-Host, True False or Something Else, Fixing the Winter Warlock's Gross Body, The Yassification of William H Basset

Shaquille O'Neal is a man who thinks highly of himself. So much so that he created a television show dedicated to him challenging the world's best individuals in every field to competitions in their area of expertise. He rarely, if ever emerges victorious, but we still think he needs to be knocked down a peg or two. Watch out Shaq, The Professional Contestants are about to give you a taste of your own medicine.
Zach will beat Shaq in an acting competition, Jared will beat Shaq in a graduate school competetion, and Adam will beat Shaq in a DJing competition.
Talking Points Include: Inside Inside The NBA, St. Patricks Plans, Corned Beef Confusion, Tough Love, EDM Subgenres, The Crimes of Penn Jillette, An Educational Program, Channeling Shaq Energy, Roku Game Genie, A State Farm Identity Crisis

When it comes to music trivia, it's safe to say we know a thing or two, and we know more than just current pop music. For example, did you know that way back when the pop charts first started, the first song to top two charts simultaniously was the mega hit "Banging Hot Rocks?" It was number one on both Cave Man Hits and Top Iguana Tracks. The more you know, huh?
Zach has never seen a Minion, Jared knows more than one Chumbawamba song, and Adam knowingly burned a CD full of bad songs.
Talking Points Include: The Future of Young Sheldon, Gru Is The Dad, One Big Tom Sawyer, Rock Smash, Randy Jackson and The Doofuses, DJ Charles Xavier, Iguana, Beating Mario Twice, Chumbas Drink Free, Bangin Hot Rocks

We here at Professional Contestants aren't exactly what you would call entrepreneurs. We don't claim to be amazing at identifying products with potential and investing in them. But if we have learned anything from reality tv show judges like Mark Cuban, Simon Cowell, and Gordon Ramsay, it's that being mean to the person presenting to us will definitely get us somewhere. Good thing this game show is much more like a realilty show than it is like actual investing.
Zach made a globally recognised NCAA PowerPoint, Jared is your go to guy to take a dive, and Adam used to be super into infomercials.
Talking Points Include: Talking Points Include: The Big Long Most Dangerous Game, Podcast Betting, NFL Field Day, Tarzan F*** Tarzan, Our Best Risky Buys, Aspirational Eggs, Mark Cuban Tooth Necklace, It's Mean But It Works

If you had to convince someone that you were an expert in something, what would it be? Something broad like "musicians?" Maybe something very specific like "Celebrities on The Simpsons?" What about something unapproachable like "The Golden Age of The Ottoman Empire?"All good ideas, but our tastes lay more along the lines of "That Witch Who Cursed Me and Turned Me Into a Frog." Will you kiss us and make us a prince?
Zach is an expert in Magnum, P.I., Jared is an expert in The New Deal, and Adam is an expert in Spongebob Characters.
Talking Points Include: New Year Resolutions, SkyHook Revisited, Oink Yoinkers, What Are Nails, An Expert In Kicking Your Ass, Weaponized Double Entendre, What's In My Pocket, Not While I'm Pouring