Most men do not lose their marriage in one big blowup. They lose it slowly, by being in the house but not actually in the room. In this episode, Chris Anderson sits down with Thomas Edwards Jr, founder of The Professional Wingman and author of The One Up Effect: Gamify Your Life to Win and Have Fun Playing, to talk about why so many high performing men feel like a stranger in their own home, and what it takes to come back. Thomas built a career the media called the real life Hitch, with more than 400 marriages and engagements to his name, features in The Wall Street Journal and People magazine, and appearances on The Steve Harvey Show and ABC Nightline. Then he imploded. Drugs, alcohol, a business falling apart, and a marriage on the edge. He got sober on January 14, 2019, rebuilt from the ground up, and just celebrated 12 years of marriage. In this episode: Why disconnection in your marriage usually starts as disconnection from yourself The four worlds of purpose, play, passion, and performance, and why most men live in only one Emotional awareness, emotional literacy, and emotional intelligence explained in plain language Why anger is often the only word men have for sadness, and how to get more words What to share with your wife, what to take somewhere else, and how to say "I need time to process" Why having emotions is not weakness, but letting emotions drive your behavior is The thermometer principle: stop reacting to the room and start setting the temperature How to acknowledge what your wife is feeling without trying to fix it Why work life balance is a lie, and what harmony and one identity look like instead The case for play, fun, and things to look forward to, including video games without the guilt Are you playing your game of life, or running someone else's program Thomas closes with the story of the night he cried out for help, and the promise he has carried ever since. Connect with Thomas: theoneup.com and thomasedwardsjr.com. The book is The One Up Effect. If this one hits, share it with a man who needs it. Follow the show so we can keep making them. Stay upgraded. This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something. =========================== ⚡️ PODCAST: Subscribe and listen on all major platforms ⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest ⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com Our mission at The Upgraded Man is simple — help men upgrade every area of their life through real conversations, honest stories, and actionable insight from men who have done the work. The content on The Upgraded Man is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not constitute professional legal, financial, medical, or therapeutic advice. Always consult a qualified professional before making decisions based on information discussed on this podcast. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.