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3 dage siden

The Sebastian Maniscalco SiriusXM Drama | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, Aligning for the Agentic Era: How AI Is Changing Everyday Work, at https://netsuite.com/BEARS. Start your free online visit today at http://hims.com/bears for personalized care-from hair to ED to weight loss and more. Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! Sign up for your free Shopify trial at https://shopify.com/bears This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer check in from the road, with Tom in Atlanta and Bert in Philly on his Permission to Party World Tour. The Bears debate whether they'll watch the Pentagon's livestreamed firing squad execution of the Fort Hood shooter, then dig into the SiriusXM Raw Dog Radio shakeup that had comics coming after Sebastian Maniscalco, and how one video turned into Bert starting a comedians union (Leanne is handling it). From there, Bert swears he'll die with his beard, finally tells Tom about the shot in Bad Thoughts season two he can't believe made the cut, and gets fired up over hood horse racing in Mississippi. Plus: Mike Ditka's one-take steakhouse commercial, Michael Jordan finding his lost championship rings in a forgotten safe, Chamillionaire's $25,000 autograph, Barry Sanders and The Fridge, and Tom getting pitched hair transplants. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 343 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:06:15 - Should You Watch The Fort Hood Shooter's Execution? 00:12:14 - Black Horse Racing & Sprinting On A Horse 00:19:31 - Bert Will Die With This Beard & The Bad Thoughts Shot 00:24:52 - SiriusXM, Raw Dog Radio, & The Sebastian Maniscalco Backlash 00:35:19 - Bert's Comedians Union 00:41:25 - Spam Calls & Mike Ditka's One-Take Commercial 00:46:34 - Michael Jordan's Lost Championship Rings 00:56:52 - Barry Sanders, The Fridge, & Elway's Two-Minute Drill 01:03:07 - Tommy Time & Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
5. okt.

The Most Delusional Man In Comedy

SPONSORS: Head to https://BlueChew.com and buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code BEARS. Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS . Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Trustpilot rating as of 6/1/2025. This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month. Visit https://betterhelp.com/bears to explore your payment options. Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/bears Sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with Acorns. New customers get a $20 bonus investment just for signing up. Head to https://acorns.com/bears to claim your $20 bonus today. Limited time offer. Terms and conditions apply. See https://acorns.com/terms for details. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer call in from opposite ends of the map: Tom on a day off from his movie in Atlanta, Bert from Cleveland's Rocket Mortgage arena. Bert pulls up old Hollywood stars next to today's to prove Tom belongs in Cocoon, and Tom fires back that Bert looks like ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag. Then Bert drags in an arena worker to vouch for his looks, and she guesses Tom is 45. From there, the Bears lock in a bench press push-up challenge, Bert asks Claude who he should support between Israel and Palestine, before he finally admits to needing a seatbelt extender. They also get into Zach Bryan's Free Palestine shirt at Gillette Stadium, Ari Emanuel's memoir Roll the Calls, Bert's brutal gum surgery, Tom Cruise's Digger, and Tom introducing Bert to the cinematic universe of Quan Millz. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 342 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:09 - Football, The Metric System, & Catching Strays 00:09:13 - Tom Belongs In Cocoon 00:16:07 - One-Drink Bert & The Bench Press Push-Up Challenge 00:28:11 - Club Runs, Zach Bryan, & The Pillow Debate 00:33:20 - Goodwill Listening & The Gillette Stadium Beef 00:37:15 - Bert Asks Claude To Pick A Side 00:44:10 - "Do You Need Readers, Ma'am?" 00:46:58 - Pretty Privilege & Bert's Seatbelt Extender 00:50:31 - Ari Emanuel's Memoir & The Quan Millz Universe 00:58:24 - Animating Bert's Dreams & Tom Cruise's Digger 01:05:23 - Oppenheimer On A Phone & Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 dag siden

The Cops Read My Joke Notebook w/ Sam Morril

Check out Sam’s new special “Incorrect“ on Netflix! SPONSORS: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/YMH. Ready to regrow your hair? Start your free online visit today at https://hims.com/YMH for personalized care-from hair to ED to weight loss and more. https://hims.com/YMH Find pieces made for real life, and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get five percent back on every purchase. Head to https://Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Go to https://helixsleep.com/ymh for 20% Off Sitewide. Sup, chomos! Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome this week with your new stepdad, Sam Morril, whose new special Sam Morril: Incorrect is streaming now on Netflix. Before the opening clip even rolls, the two are swapping notes from their European tours: Finnish house whiskey, Budapest's Terror House museum, the world's oldest Ferris wheel from The Third Man, and post-communist roller coasters with no safety bar. From there it's reliving Garth Brooks discovering Facebook from a hotel bed, Sam's Ryan Gosling and Matthew McConaughey crushes, the rat extermination from Sam's special, and a Main Mommy breakfast of Prozac, coffee and whiskey. before they spiral into JFK, Marilyn Monroe, and Bill Clinton's jujitsu-level charm. Plus: Christina's TikTok curations include Chinese Girlfriend guy, the infinite pocket jeans, a chili dog video that would not end, hillbilly beatbox, the night New Orleans cops read Sam's joke notebook out loud, and the YMH courtship hotline remains open for business. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 881 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:04:42 - Finnish Whiskey & Budapest's Terror House00:09:30 - Dark Tourism & Post-Communist Roller Coasters00:16:28 - Opening Clip: M. Night Shyamalan's Movie Diary00:20:45 - Garth Brooks Discovers Facebook00:28:35 - Temptation On The Road & Rat Whisperer Sam00:34:20 - Rich Depressed Celebrities & Bombing On Purpose00:41:39 - Infinite Pocket Jeans & Christina's Quadruple Ds00:45:15 - Deadbeat Dads, JFK, Marilyn Monroe & Picky Eaters00:50:58 - Christina's Curations: The Chinese Girlfriend Guy00:56:56 - The Cops Read Sam's Joke Notebook01:00:59 - Grizzly Man & Why Christina Hates Nature01:04:25 - The Never-Ending Chili Dog Video01:08:07 - Hillbilly Beatbox & Degenerate DMs01:15:38 - Is It Cake?01:18:22 - Closing Song - "Mommy Fart'n In Yo Face" by DJ Boy Butter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
7. okt.

Reject The Pumpkin Lord w/ Duncan Trussell

Snag some new YMH merch: https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: Ready to regrow your hair? Start your free online visit today at https://hims.com/YMH for personalized care-from hair to ED to weight loss and more. https://hims.com/YMH Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code YMH. https://bluechew.com Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/ymh Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. It's PUMKIN season in the Mommy Dome. Christina holds it down solo with her stepdad, Duncan Trussell, who's halfway through quitting nicotine and explains in way too much detail how he used to cook down liquid ketamine on a hot plate from Amazon. From there they go deep on burning it out, daddy issues and feeling like a motherless child, before the opening clip wakes everybody up the worst possible way. Duncan brings his own TikTok curations this week: a former Satanist from Iowa who can't say "pumpkin," a Siamese-twin crooner singing his heart out in a pharmacy, a sad old man with Bela Lugosi eyebrows, and a barefoot candy rapper. Along the way, Horrible or Hilarious makes a brief return, Jason Priestley's under-eyes inspire a blepharoplasty pitch, and the crew shops for a Taser to use on Tanner. Then it gets philosophical: Is self-love a satanic virtue? Can an acorn be a message from God? Should we all reject the Pumpkin Lord? Plus: furry etiquette and Duncan's fursona, an S&M session in a Courtyard Marriott conference room, lip filler that looks like a prolapse, the Kardashian "plague look," Mother Kali, Austin's living statue, and a deep dive into M. Night Shyamalan's YouTube channel, his 800 Blu-rays and his suspiciously nice comment section. Enjoy! Also Christina, we found that guys Instagram handle: https://www.instagram.com/raja_kumar_121/ Your Mom’s House Ep. 880 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:00:20 - Stepdad Duncan Quit Smoking & Cooking Down K00:13:12 - Opening Clip: "Wake Up, My Honey Bunny"00:18:03 - YMH Merch, Sweatshop Notes, & The October Lipstick Bundle00:21:41 - Duncan's Curations: The Pumpkin Satanist From Iowa00:34:39 - The Barefoot Candy Rapper00:39:51 - Horrible Or Hilarious, Menopause Demons & Jason Priestley's Eyelids00:46:48 - The Taser Barber, Tasing Tanner, & Breakfast Martinis00:52:33 - Christina's Curations: Furry Domination & Duncan's Fursona00:58:57 - Tour Plugs, New Orleans Absinthe, & The Loneliest Man On TikTok01:04:15 - Is Self-Love A Satanic Virtue?01:08:41 - Idolatry, An Acorn From God, & Rejecting The Pumpkin Lord01:22:02 - Courtyard Marriott S&M, The Backrooms, & Billie Eilish01:26:06 - Prolapse Lips, Kardashians, & The Plague Look01:35:02 - Austin's Coolest Singer & M. Night Shyamalan's 800 Blu-Rays01:43:13 - M. Night's YouTube Channel & His Curated Comment Section01:50:55 - Staring Guy & "Tease Daddy" Tony, & Wrap01:54:13 - Closing Song - "Just Glassin' Hot Mix" by Mitchel Davis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
28. sep.

Tom Cruise Pulled His Own Tooth Out w/ Rob Lowe

Presale tickets for Toms new tour Preposterous go live September 30th at 10am. Make sure to get yours over at https://tomsegura.com/tour and use code: TOMMY SPONSORS: Head to https://superpower.com/bears for $50 off your membership. Get 150+ biomarkers tested every year plus a personalized health plan and on-demand care team. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod Start learning a new language TODAY with Babbel. Right now listeners can save up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, Aligning for the Agentic Era: How AI Is Changing Everyday Work, at https://netsuite.com/BEARS . Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://ShipStation.com, with code cave. This week, Tom is off somewhere, so Bert Kreischer is joined by the legendary Rob Lowe, back in the Cave to talk about his new movie The Musical, the Sundance comedy with a twist so audacious the big distributors were too scared to buy it, now playing in theaters. Rob breaks down the 18-day shoot, the moment that makes audiences gasp, and why a small theatrical run still beats a mystery streaming "hit." From there, the two get into learning stick on La Cienega, LeeAnn's endless story recaps, Tom Cruise pulling his own tooth for The Outsiders, and Paul Newman's legendary hangs. Bert opens up about his Free Bert season two meltdown and the night he forgot how to yawn, Rob shares what 36 years of sobriety taught him, and they pitch the ultimate Netflix show: 24 Hours with Rob & Bert, starring Mark Wahlberg as D**k Diggler. Plus: Usher's house tour, Bryson DeChambeau's eagle, and the national anthem bit. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 341 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:39 - Skinny Bert & Driving Stick On La Cienega 00:10:43 - Bert Doesn't Listen & The Cousin Who Can't Eat Anything With A Hoof 00:23:54 - Tom Cruise Pulled His Own Tooth & Butch Cassidy Cool 00:32:05 - The Musical & The Twist Nobody Would Buy 00:48:40 - The Night Bert Couldn't Yawn 00:54:54 - Measured Drinking & Rob's 36 Years Sobriety 01:00:37 - Paul Newman 01:05:43 - Rob's Headshot Composites & Growing Up Before Phones 01:11:15 - Timothée Chalamet, Press Tours, & Tom Cruise's Perfect Day 01:20:22 - Mark Wahlberg's 4AM Club & Bryson DeChambeau's Eagle 01:32:11 - Stunt Flying With Tom Cruise & & The National Anthem Bit 01:41:58 - Humble Sons & Usher's Netflix House Tour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21. sep.

Raygun Deserved The Gold Medal

SPONSORS: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS, spend five bucks to get $150 in rewards within 14 days - includes all markets. Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Let’s eat real. Head to https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. Start learning a new language TODAY with Babbel. Right now listeners can save up to 60% off at https://babbel.com/BEARS. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are on separate sides of the country, but still together in our hearts. Tom's about to film a movie and Bert's been running his takes through ChatGPT before he says them out loud, which still doesn't stop LeeAnn and his daughters from destroying him over The Pastor's Wife. Bert explains how Last Comic Standing edited him into the villain, and how much public misrepresentation a person should take before they swing back; Michael Jackson, Shane Gillis, Johnny Depp, Joe Rogan, and Bert's "how many bees until you start swatting" theory. From there, Bert delivers the two greatest analogies of his life, Tom demands the production Bible for Tenet to understand it better, and Bert turns his garage door into a guillotine. They also get into Kyle Forgeard of Nelk Boys running seven marathons in seven days, Bert's daughters hijacking his couples therapy to tell the therapist he only feels emasculated at Lowe's, and Bert's case that Raygun should have won the gold medal and that Jackson Pollock was a shill. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 340 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit http://ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year. $50 in rewards issued every 7 days via click to claim for 14 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at http://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:38 - ChatGPT Approved Takes & Death Of The Pastor's Wife 00:07:17 - How Many Bees Until You Start Swatting? + Purple Doritos 00:15:02 - Tom's Movie Beard & Revisiting Tenet 00:28:44 - 365 One-Minute Episodes & Bryson DeChambeau's Hole In One 00:34:08 - Mountain Dew Sizzle 00:38:01 - Football Segue 00:39:19 - Kyle Forgeard's Seven Marathons & Andrew Schulz's Miami Era 00:43:50 - Bert's Tom Impression & Couples Therapy With The Girls 00:51:03 - The Honey Deuce & Bert's Return To Drinking 00:56:16 - What Olympic Sport Could You Actually Get Good At? 01:02:50 - Raygun Deserved The Gold & Jackson Pollock Was A Shill 01:12:15 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
3 dage siden

Parker McCollum Goes To Switzerland

Follow Parker on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/parkermccollum/ Go see Parker on Tour here: https://www.parkermccollum.com/ On this week's episode of You Be Trippin', country star Parker McCollum takes Ari to Zermatt, Switzerland! COVID shut down the boys' snowboarding trip to Japan, so they pivoted to the Matterhorn...which Parker's mom swears she climbed. Between brutal jet lag, Subway chicken nuggets in Geneva, and a sketchy golf cart ride up the mountain, just getting there was a journey. Parker gets taken out by a little kid 30 minutes into his first run and comes clean about how he really broke his collarbone (dabs in a gondola). They get into snowboarding on Adderall, cleaning it up on the road, and why mushrooms are the only drug Parker would recommend. Turns out Parker is a big Amazing Racist fan. Uf Wiederluege! You Be Trippin' Ep. 140 https://www.instagram.com/arishaffir https://www.instagram.com/youbetrippinpod https://arishaffir.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:03 - Country or Americana? 00:06:45 - Making His Favorite Record 00:10:23 - Parker Goes to Switzerland 00:16:42 - Jet Lag & Subway Nuggets 00:21:01 - Leaving for Switzerland 00:27:20 - Where to Next? 00:34:25 - Dabs in the Gondola 00:41:05 - Snowboarding on Adderall 00:51:29 - Molly & Mushrooms 00:56:54 - Spliffs & Bumper Stickers 01:04:23 - Travel Tip 01:13:28 - Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
6 dage siden

Inside The Walled Garden

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: http://duncantrussell.com/tour🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger🦊 Buster (Tanner's Friend From School): https://instagram.com/mysterybuster666 SPONSORS: Head to https://Fabletics.com/MYSTERY for 70–80% off everything as a new VIP. Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week the boys refuse to sleep anywhere but inside their walled garden, where it's protected and the critics can't get in. Except one finally did. Comedy writer Seth Simons reviewed Mystery Boys on his Substack, and the boys are calling it a career highlight. They go through the review line by line: Kurt's old Facebook post, his Ukraine joke from his Gas Digital half hour, and the accidental title "Alex Jones Still Has Shooters." Then they offer Seth an open invitation to the show, a writing job, a custom outfit, and a full session with Duncan's new mobile grooming service, oatmeal bath included. Kurt gives a dramatic reading of Seth's poem "Poem After Collapse," and the boys ask everyone to subscribe to his Substack and only say nice things, because Mystery Boys does not harass. From there it's dopamine maxxing and the DoorDash edging app where your food never shows up, Peter Thiel, Trump naming everything America the way Musk names everything X, Kamala Harris explaining the war in Ukraine, and America's latest bomb sale to Israel. The mysteries get darker when Apple patents AirPods that read your brain activity, the boys watch the Davos brain-transparency talk, and they explain why Orwell's 1984 was simple compared to what we have now. Then they investigate whether Candace Owens is a lesbian and run the photo through an AI check (it's not her). Also: the thicc ghost Booh Booty, the physics of ectoplasm, the Tibetan yoga of dream and sleep, Kubla Khan, the rainbow bridge, scientists sending your consciousness through a wormhole, the Montauk Project and the original title of Stranger Things, the lizard brain, Kurt's favorite anime Fist of the North Star, Kurt's movie pitch for Rob Schneider, the Chris Hansen hit piece and why you shouldn't let your kids on Roblox. This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys File_021 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:55 - Seth Simons, Our Biggest Fan 00:34:27 - Dopamine Maxxing and DoorDash Edging 00:45:55 - Mystery Boys Poem Readings 00:52:31 - Trump's Ultimate Rug Pull 00:55:49 - Kamala Harris Explaining The Ukrainian War 01:02:03 - We Are Giving BOMBS to ISRAEL?!? 01:05:34 - Apple Is READING Your MIND 01:23:42 - Is Candace Owens A Lesbian? 01:29:16 - Proof Of Candace Owens Lesbian? 01:36:39 - The Thicc Ghost, Booh Booty 01:49:13 - Scientists Putting Your Consciousness Through A Wormhole 02:14:30 - Kurps Favorite Anime 02:22:52 - Hand Free Hassidic Gooning 02:25:51 - Kurts Pitch For Rob Schneider 02:30:34 - Chris Hansen Hit Piece Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
30. sep.

Prozac Princess w/ Sara Weinshenk

Presale tickets for Toms new tour Preposterous go live September 30th at 10am. Make sure to get yours over at https://tomsegura.com/tour and use code: TOMMY Salt Lake City Pootah, the Main Mommy herself will be in you on October 9th and 10th at Wiseguys Comedy Club! Make sure to get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates SPONSORS: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code MOM, spend five bucks to get $150 in rewards within 14 days - includes all markets. Visit https://www.sleep.ME/ymh and never sleep too hot again. Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/ymh Sup, chomos! Christina holds down the Mommy Dome this week with fellow San Fernando Valley girl Sara Weinshenk, and the two have officially traded lives: Christina's the single mom now, and Sara is three years into dating a single dad with two little boys and packing up for Austin. They kick off the hot-tip swap with an Opening Clip of Cardi B laying down the law on never pooping at a new man's house, which spirals into emergency dumps at Taco Bell, a guy in the room who takes 20-second shits with no phone, and whether breaking the fart seal is the real romance killer. From there it's mommy juice, Prozac princesses, the all-girls Catholic high school they both went to, exchange day at the boys' school, and Sara confesses to $200 of abundance candles, psychic Zooms, and moon manifesting in Topanga, and the two agree that playing it cold is the only way to date. Plus: celebrity news with Sandy B, M. Night Shyamalan's new YouTube channel where he flips through his leather-bound journal ("I had to fire a 13-year-old today") and reads his one-line 9/11 entry, a dental floss chili dog in a thermos, vending-machine chimichangas, Texas school shanks, a man who kisses his birds goodnight, and a couple who keeps monkeys in diapers, a buffalo, and a capybara. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 879 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as $50 click-to-claims every 7 days for 14 days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:03:37 - Opening Clip: Cardi B's Dating Rules00:14:29 - The No-Pooping Rule & Taco Bell Emergencies00:21:10 - Breaking The Fart Seal & Single Dads Who Cook00:25:58 - Playing It Cold & The Parking Lot Pisser00:31:01 - Heartbroken White Women & The Witch Doctor Store00:37:50 - Sandy B & M. Night Shyamalan's YouTube Diary00:50:20 - Christina's Curations00:56:16 - Smash Or Pass & Moving To Texas01:03:28 - Bird Kissers, Malibu Pigs, & Monkeys In Diapers01:10:11 - Fake Shower Couples, Male Model Boyfriends, & Wrap01:13:49 - Closing Song - "Cool Girl Club" by Versace Kolache Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24. aug.

Stavvy Called Us Out

SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com! Start your free trial at https://SHOPIFY.COM/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears for your free online visit. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. https://babbel.com/BEARS for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer celebrate Bert officially entering the Guinness Book of World Records for The Machine, possibly the most performed signature story in comedy history, and immediately spiral into the comedy record arms race: Shane Gillis' 77,000-person show, Nate Bargatze's 2 million tickets, the Dane Cook vs. Dave Chappelle longest-set war, and Bert's plan to lock 75,000 paid "hostages" inside Raymond James Stadium and perform for ten straight hours. Then the Bears respond to Stavros Halkias calling out comics who fly private, and explain why he's absolutely right: nobody gets funnier on a private jet. From there, Bert declares Busboys, the new Theo Von and David Spade movie, the greatest piece of art he's ever seen, and Tom finally watches The Odyssey, only for Bert to officially turn on it over the Travis Scott cameo. Plus: Gaddafi's all-female Amazonian Guard, plane-crash hypotheticals, Chimp Empire is the best reality show ever made, Mick Jagger on fame, and why the Bears are grateful they got famous late. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 336 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:18 - Comedians Getting Guinness Records 00:07:24 - The Attendance Record Arms Race 00:18:09 - Stavvy Says Private Jets Don't Make You Funnier 00:24:25 - Lunch Pail Phonies & Staying Honest 00:35:39 - Busboys Is A Secret Masterpiece 00:41:55 - Tom Finally Saw The Odyssey 01:03:45 - Por Osos At Frenchies & MacDill 01:07:29 - The Sexiest Military & Plane Crash Hypotheticals 01:12:08 - Chimp Empire 01:15:26 - Leanne's Birthday & The Black Crowes 01:20:28 - Mick Jagger On Fame 01:24:18 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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