Jiujitsu Couples Therapy

Joshua Citrak
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Therapy is in session! Susan and Joshua Citrak- Tom DeBlasse Masters 5 brown belts- discuss our journey, training together as a couple, being a martial arts family, life as an older jiujitsu athlete, keeping the proper mindset and perspective in training and so much more. (This is not a podcast about techniques, drama, dissecting matches, though we do reserve the right to do any or all of them on any given episode)

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    "Earned My Blue Belt, Now What?/ I've Lost My Passion for Jiujitsu"

    In this episode we discuss: How to find your footing as a new blue belt- what you should focus on and what realistic goals to set, how to look for opportunities within your gym to build leadership skills. Also, it’s ok to be a hobbyist, jiujitsu doesn’t have to be your whole life, how to overcome boredom in jiujitsu as so much more. 00:35 - The significance of blue belt as a milestone and common ego pitfalls 01:04 - Expectations versus reality at blue belt and differentiation from other belts 05:19 - The value of focusing on a specific technique or aspect of your game 06:41 - Managing ego, pressure from higher belts, and setting achievable goals 07:37 - The power of consistent, targeted practice and mental framing 09:06 - The role of mentors in guiding your progression 12:23 - Expanding your game beyond comfort zones 13:23 - Giving back: becoming a helper or community role to stay engaged 15:48 - Recognizing patterns and applying analytical thinking 16:18 - Managing energy and maintaining support roles 17:17 - Dealing with burnout and the importance of mental health 18:19 - Reframing jiu-jitsu as a joyful part of life 19:01 - Letting go of perfectionism and guilt around missed training 20:27 - The balance of love and passion for jiu-jitsu 22:19 - The importance of training smart and respecting your body 23:31 - Breaking the identity that jiu-jitsu is all of who you are 27:42 - Cultivating passion without pressure or expectations 28:12 - Recognizing when you're losing love for the art and how to navigate it 29:10 - The value of taking breaks and seasonal shifts in passion 30:07 - Embracing change and life’s seasons using musical metaphors 31:40 - The importance of self-awareness and gradual evolution 33:08 - The pitfalls of measuring self-worth solely through achievement 37:04 - Accepting burnout and adjusting expectations 38:31 - Moving away from unhealthy competition obsession 40:35 - Defining your own version of success in jiu-jitsu 44:36 - Embracing aging and physical limitations 45:24 - Letting go of perfectionism and self-judgment 46:17 - Supporting teammates’ competing goals 47:15 - Do jiu-jitsu for your happiness, not external validation 48:08 - Closing thoughts: balance, community, and self-compassion Resources & Links: The Jiu-Jitsu Belt System Explained (General overview; search for authoritative guides)Influential Jiu-Jitsu Mentors and CoachesRole of Mentors in Martial ArtsMental Health & Burnout in Martial ArtsThe Importance of Community in Jiu-JitsuConnect with Joshua Citrak: TwitterInstagram

    49 min

  2. 24 MAR

    Will BJJ Make My Kid A Bully?/ Afraid of Losing in Front of Your Coach?

    We discuss: whether BJJ is really good for kid’s self defense, will jiujitsu make my kid into a bully, the value of learning martial arts virtues (discipline, confidence, courage) at a young age, coaching leadership styles, I hate losing in front of my coach (and he/she probably hates watching you lose), reenforcing positive mindsets no matter the outcome and so much more. (00:00) - Introduction: Kids' self-defense vs. fighting instinct & coaching influence(03:02) - Is Jiu Jitsu beneficial for children's self-defense, or does it risk teaching children to fight?(04:33) - The importance of practical self-defense skills like escaping from pins or headlocks(05:56) - The limitations of sport-focused submissions for real-world self-defense(07:47) - The importance of age-appropriate training and realistic expectations(08:47) - Can Jiu Jitsu help kids handle situations involving multiple attackers?(10:14) - The significance of developing confidence, voice, and responsibility in children(13:33) - Does training make kids bully-proof or could it foster aggression if coached poorly?(14:43) - The internal vs. external validation: coaching for growth vs. ego(16:11) - How to evaluate a gym during trial classes: attention, behavior, environment(17:38) - The role of mentorship among older students; building leadership in kids(20:34) - How coaches and gym culture influence kids' behavior and confidence(22:01) - The inherently selfish nature of Jiu Jitsu and its impact on student mentality(23:04) - Risks of toxic competition culture: bullying, peer pressure, and unhealthy validation(25:07) - Coaches who tie their self-worth to students' results and the risks involved(26:07) - Managing expectations and the importance of leadership and team culture(28:48) - Celebrating effort and personal growth over medals and rankings(30:15) - Helping students recover from disappointment; fostering resilience(33:38) - Rethinking competitive priorities: fun, camaraderie, and community(37:02) - The most meaningful moments: supporting kids through victories and losses(40:26) - The value of losing and setbacks for personal growth(44:47) - The impact of judgment, comparison, and creating a supportive environment(49:03) - Closing thoughts: focus on individual progress and avoiding toxic competition culture Resources & Links Gracie University – for self-defense and anti-bullying programsThe Role of Confidence in Kids' Martial ArtsUnderstanding Coaching ImpactConnect with the Hosts: Joshua Citrak - LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram

    49 min

  3. 2 MAR

    Etiquette For Visiting BJJ Gym/ Essential Tips for Travelers, Coaches and Newcomers

    Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Gym Etiquette 07:27 Observing and Adapting to Different Cultures 13:57 Understanding Uniform Policies 19:14 Respecting Training Norms and Rolling Light 28:10 Creating a Welcoming Environment as a Coach 38:22 Final Thoughts on Gym Etiquette  Resources Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Etiquette Guide - https://www.bjjheroes.com/bjj-news/bjj-etiquette-guide IBJJF Rules and Policies - https://www.ibjjf.com/rules Travel Tips for BJJ Practitioners - https://www.grapplinginsider.com/travel-tips-for-bjj-practitioners/  guest links Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/JuijitsuCouplesTherapy/

    40 min

  4. 23 FEB

    "What's Happening at Atos/ Is Jiujitsu Safe?"

    In this episode we discuss: the fallout from the Atos situation and the muted response to it, how can jiujitsu clean it’s image in light of a slew of similar allegations, women in co-equal positions of power at BJJ gyms (but how that might not be silver bullet for the current situation), women defending the patriarchy when it serves them, it’s time for a real, accountable governing body for American jiujitsu, possible solutions and mitigations for unsavory gyms and we propose a few ideas of what to look for in a safe gym. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy and Current Issues 05:49 Bro Culture and Toxic Masculinity in Martial Arts 12:06 Accusations and the Need for Listening 17:56 Empowering Women in Jiu Jitsu 23:51 The Need for a Governing Body in Jiu Jitsu 30:37 The State of Jiu-Jitsu Governance 35:52 Protecting the Vulnerable: Parental Responsibility 41:31 Identifying Red Flags in Gyms 50:33 Diversity and Inclusion in Jiu-Jitsu 57:54 The Future of Jiu-Jitsu: A Call to Action Sources: Jiu Jitsu Reddit Community - https://www.reddit.com/r/bjj/ Fighting Matters Podcast - https://fightingmatters.com IBJJF Official Website - https://www.ibjjf.com Hapkido USA - https://hapkidousa.org Stefan Kesting's YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/user/StefanKesting Keenan Cornelius' Video on Safety and Culture - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=example LGBTQ+ Friendly Gym Database (Example) - https://lgbtqgyms.com

    59 min

  5. 20 JAN

    "Turn Plataeus into Peaks/ Character Over Kirmuras"

    In this episode we discuss: The 3-3-3 rule, a scientifically-backed way to improve your focus and intentionality in training and grow new skills quicker, the importance of being curious about jiu-jitsu, understanding all the ways getting into specific positional engagements, unrealistic expectations of kids, character is the most important skill and commodification and gentrification of jiu-jitsu.

    43 min

  6. 12 JAN

    What Do Stripes Mean?/ $300 Gym Membership!!!

    In this episode we discuss: Getting promoted, the significance of stripes to the human reward system, what stripes actually mean, jiujitsu is a luxury good, how gym owners can reward loyalty in trying economic times, the challenges of changing gyms once you’ve become an established grappler, what happens when real physical conflicts happen at the gym, is a testosterone problem or a culture problem? Chapters 00:00 Promotion Time! 05:26 The Significance of Stripes and Belts 11:30 The Business of Jiu Jitsu and Loyalty 17:39 The Challenges of Changing Gyms 23:37 Creating a Positive Gym Culture 29:31 Real Fights at the Gym 35:25 Cultural Mat Enforcers 38:57 When Professor Flips Out

    46 min

  7. 5 JAN

    "Dr Andy Moon P.T./ Wash Your Belt"

    In this episode we talk with Dr. Andy Moon, Physical Therapist, specializing in treating Jiujitsu athletes. We talk about protocols for training off the mat to help keep you on the mats, common injuries and how to mitigate them, advice for injured grapplers, the importance of being a specialist who understand the sport of jiujitsu, ineffective bjj warm ups, over training and so much more. Also, wash your damn belt.  Back on the Mat PT: https://www.backonthematpt.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/backonthematpt/ Chapters 00:00 Wash your belt! 06:46 Dr. Andy Moon: Building a Niche in Grappling Rehabilitation 11:41 Understanding the Grappler's Mindset 14:35 Optimizing Off-Mat Training for Jiu-Jitsu 17:35 Effective Warm-Up Strategies for Jiu-Jitsu 23:32 Creating a Supportive Training Environment 25:15 Creating a Safe Training Environment 27:36 The Importance of Tapping Out 29:51 Understanding Injury Risks in Competition 33:02 Addressing Injuries: When to Seek Help 34:41 Common Injuries in Jiu Jitsu 38:36 Overtraining and Its Consequences 40:47 Banned Moves and Safety Protocols 42:48 Training for Competition: Balancing Safety and Skill

    51 min

  8. 1 JAN ·  BONUS

    Bonus: NYE Jiu-Jitsu Resolutions

    In the bonus episode we give tips on successful New Years Resolutions for jiujitsu, reflect on our injuries of year, and provide a wishlist for the jiujitsu community in 2026. Chapters 00:00 New Year Reflections and Intentions 05:43 The Importance of Cool Down Routines 12:17 Finding Joy and Playfulness in Training 18:13 Redefining Goals and Achievements in Jiu-Jitsu 23:25 Wishes for the Jiu-Jitsu Community

    29 min
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About

Therapy is in session! Susan and Joshua Citrak- Tom DeBlasse Masters 5 brown belts- discuss our journey, training together as a couple, being a martial arts family, life as an older jiujitsu athlete, keeping the proper mindset and perspective in training and so much more. (This is not a podcast about techniques, drama, dissecting matches, though we do reserve the right to do any or all of them on any given episode)

Information

  • Creator
    Joshua Citrak
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    20
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Joshua Citrak
  • Show Website
    Jiujitsu Couples Therapy
  • Provider