Two Librans

Roman Muradov, Tom Van Deusen

A podcast about the Fall and Mark E.Smith, headed by two cartoonists of moderate renown, Roman Muradov and Tom Van Deusen. If you don't care about the Fall, most of the show is funny digressions and exemplary banter on subjects as varied as Russian Wheel of Fortune, Tom Morello's Dangerous Truths, indie comics, Slack bullying, chocolate fountains, and so much more. twolibrans.substack.com

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    17. Jingle Bell Rock

    This episode we cover such festive topics as school shootings, Zohran’s waifu (who is definitely listening to the pod), and the prison industrial complex! Since this is the first episode we recorded and edited in a timely manner, we even talked about the newest Jeffrey Epstein “drop” and other topical matters—listen now, or feel irrelevant forever. JINGLE BELL ROCK Merry Mark E. Smith-smas, boys and girls, it’s the very first Two Librans Holiday Special! This episode’s Fall song is a bizarre cover of Jingle Bell Rock from a mid 90s John Peel session, with a wild story behind its improvised lyrics. We delve into the song’s history, and its many, many cover versions, almost all of them terrible. For comparison, here is the original. We’ll go over all the missing and added lyrics, green M&S bags, Brussels sprouts, old beef, and all. We’re a little drunk on this one. So sneak off from staid and awkward family time, lock yourself in the bathroom and spend some quality time with your real family. ALSO DISCUSSED The story behind the cover From the new audiobook version of Steve Hanley’s the Big Midweek. Roman’s exceedingly thoughtful gift for Tom Gets yours here NY post headlines Prison Just friends Kurt Vonnegut farting around River City Ransom US cover art PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Tom is still cranking away furiously on his comic, and you can read the last installment with its proper formatting. Roman recently had a work trip and made some exciting drawings about office life. If you’re reading this before the end of the year, his annual subscription has a discount, and he’s pledging to put out more posts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    52 min
  2. 5 DEC

    16. British People in Hot Weather

    Howdy-ho, fellow and honorary Librans, to a brand-spankin’-new episode we recorded months ago! Now that we’ve crossed the threshold into winter, it’s a great time to release an episode that we recorded in late spring and said will “probably come out this summer.” When Tom heard that while editing the episode it made him very sad! He looked outside at the frosty gray day from his millennial gray apartment. He then looked back at Adobe Audition and started sobbing. Poor Tom. But Tom was rapidly filled with cheer as he realized this was the episode where we discuss… BRITISH PEOPLE IN HOT WEATHER Yes, what better time to share a song about summer than in the middle of the winter of our diss-content? This banging tune will certainly warm you up, whatever cold region you might be currently inhabiting. Mark brings himself to giggles singing about how poorly the British handle the heat in this weird B-Side released around the time he went through a divorce and recorded Extricate. It might be their most spite-fueled album, which is really saying something when you consider their catalogue, and it’s nice to hear Mark get a little silly in this pretty throw-away track. ALSO DISCUSSED Spending the summer with Tom Hank’s son (really.) No joke, this is Tom Hank’s son Fellow faux-Jamaican-Patoi lover, Adrian Brody Sound of the Summer. Kubrik’s scene compositions in Barry Lyndon This great interview with Robert Crumb at the 92nd St. Y (if you listen closely you can hear Tom laughing in the audience!) The intensely disturbing Claymation film The Adventures of Mark Twain Here, watch the whole f****n’ movie! Roman’s very short career in Facebook games PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman recently came back from France with some very French comics to show. And whoa! Tom is writing comics again! Holy shit, you’d better subscribe so you can READ THE WHOLE BOOK as he slowly draws it! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    54 min
  3. 31 OCT

    15. Bonkers in Phoenix

    Just in time for spooky szn, one of the more disturbing Fall songs from an album with a kind of holiday skull. More importantly, we finally fulfill the astrological premise of our podcast, and talk for an unreasonable amount of time about a certain Bushwick bar, centered around the stars and their signs. We go in deep, reading google reviews and missions statements, and, as usual, end up in the doghouse, discussing whether it’s cool or not to ruin your ex-wife’s songs. We also talk about “straight bars” where we feel safe, Roman’s amorous escapades, rejection vouchers, and many other things. Listen till the end for a bonus interview with the man Mark E.Smith and the woman Brix Smith themselves. ALSO DISCUSSED This fucking style Get Your Birthday Song from Hermeto Pascoal The Less “Doctored” Earlier Version What do you think, listener, is it better? We think it is, and Mark was a bit of a knob to dismantle this song further for no good reason. Normal Men Weigh In on Brix’s Contributions Aaaawesome Book for Real Dudes of the Manosphere The Classical The Other Great Kr*utr*ck Album Art PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman is halfway through his long depressing book, and in the next chapter the umbrella story from this episode might reappear in a slightly altered form. Roman’s 15 minutes on Substack from back when Ghibli AI was relevant. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    56 min
  4. 14 OCT

    14. Lie Dream of a Casino Soul

    Are you feeling parched? Well, it’s time for another Two Librans episode, so open your cake holes and we’ll douse you from our content firehose! Before we start to discuss The Fall, which is ostensibly the subject of this podcast, we start the episode with a new, short-lived and deeply problematic segment dubbed “The Dog House” (a.k.a. “the Meat is Back”) in which we wanted to go over the latest breakups in comics scene, for all the single minglers out there. We cut almost all of it, out of respect for our colleagues. MEIN DYKHOFF Once we get that out of our systems, we get to the real subject of today’s episode, a discussion of the classic track Lie Dream of a Casino Soul. Adorned with classic Savage Pencil art, this non-album single slaps in every possible way, from the pling-plong keyboards to the lyrics, which are discussed to no end and no point on The Annotated Fall. There’s a lot of bickering in the comments there until, on the seventy-ninth comment, someone posts the lyrics, written by Marc E. Smith himself, scanned for a Omega Auction of his estate: So there you have it, he doesn’t say “So I think I’ll cut my dick off”, he says “I think I’ll cut my Dykhoff”, which makes zero sense. NEW FACTS EMERGE Oh, but does he? When putting together these notes months after the recordings, we came across another Omega auction with the lyrics to the song, with hand-written additions by Marc. So this will remain a mystery until we use AI to resurrect Marc so we can ask him ourselves. Get on it, Zuckenberg! ALSO DISCUSSED The great Savage Pencil (who is still alive) SavX’s badass artwork for Big Black’s (middling) Headache EP … which replaced the original, truly reprehensible packaging conceived by the original edgelord, Steve Albini (do not look this up). They’re just pumpkins. It’s just a cheeseburger (squint). Okay, Gooner. How do you celebrate 3/11? Chechnya in Cars 2 Marc Bell invented The Minions, period. Jeffrey Lewis’s terrific Legend of the Fall PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has become public domain, apparently. Also, his new book is up for preorder! Don’t miss his sombre side with this one. And whoa! Tom finished his portfolio, fucking finally! Mostly professional animation work but also has some of his drawings and prints. And he’s working on a new comic, he swears! http://tvd.design He’s also going to start his blog again, he swears! https://substack.com/@tomvandeusen This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    1h 10m
  5. 17 SEPT

    13. Zoot Suit Riot

    Hey everyone! The Two Libs are back with an important new episode. We’re doing the difficult but necessary work to cool the hateful political rhetoric poisoning our country right now, so we can all see each other’s inherent human good and right to free discussion. Specifically, we’re talking about the legacy of the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies! You know, that swing revival band with a name that straddles between stupid and abhorrent? Roman indulges Tom in a full 30 minutes of “Daddycast”, and lo and behold, they’re both more problematic than you remember and impossibly worse now. So strap in for that! What was our podcast about again? SOCCER SCORES That’s right! It’s about soccer (football, for the limeys) and the week’s scores! Specifically from 20 years ago, and specifically read by the lead singer of The Fall, one Mark E. Smith. He performs a very straight-faced reading of a bunch of football results with scores like “Nil-Nil”. When he’s finished he insults the host’s looks. Not to be missed, especially if you believe the comments, since this video has everyone in hysterics for some reason. Also, Roman tells a long, confusing sex “joke” which he later says is “more of a story”. He eventually drew it into a four panel comic which you can read right here. ALSO DISCUSSED Tom Morello wankery (per usual) The Actual Zoot Suit Riots The worst anything, ever The biggest dichotomy between an album’s music and its cover Toilet paper lore Also features Roman’s manly new song “Once I was Just a Young Man, Now I’m a Slightly Older Man.” PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has been making relatable comics for your co-workers. And here’s Tom’s Substack he’s sorely neglected because he’s been working on career stuff. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    1h 18m
  6. 8 AUG

    12. Theme From Sparta F.C.

    Hello and welcome back to Two Librans, a podcast hosted by the “least empathetic cartoonists of the last 20 years”. Today marks our 12th episode, and to celebrate wee-’re introducing an exciting new segment which you won’t want to piss miss! So grab a big beverage, hold it down with your #1 favorite podcast! A GUITAR LINE WITH A “GREEK MOTIF” Roman’s pick this week is Theme From Sparta F.C., a banger track from “The Real New Fall L.P. Formerly ‘Country on the Click’”, which is a surprisingly good album despite the horrendous title. Roman, the commensurate jock of the show, insisted we not only cover a song related to his favorite sport of “footie”. Get your f****n’ bitch-ass ready for a testosterone-fueled bro down! WOOF WOOF!! ALSO DISCUSSED Mark E. Smith reads the weeks’ football results and it’s HILARIOUS!!! Fred Durst Breaks Stuff for 9/11 Our favorite Nelly tracks Bono doesn’t just suck at music This band had this name in 1998 and that was considered okay. Oh wait, they’re still a band and haven’t changed their names. Prince Vincent Gallo The back cover of Roman’s next book Now on YouTube too! Attn: Gen Z! It’s time to revisit the classic eps with YouTube video content. You won’t see us, but you can probably have a great time vegging out to the trippy video loops. PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has put out two new Terrible Father adventures, on sleep and smell. Tom’s busy working on a comic and redoing his website, but you can catch up on his Substack, which will eventually cover his agony getting back into comics This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    53 min
  7. 10 JUL

    11. Service

    Patti Smith's N-word pass, Kramer apology remix, poly book club, oh and a song by the Fall. Hello and welcome back to our eleventh episode of the Two Librans. You’re in for a special treat, because this is our first in-person episode. Recorded at Lincoln Center or some other place in New York, so please forgive the occasional cheers from our adoring fans, as well as Roman mumbling, and Tom talking much louder with his large American mouth. This time we’re talking about Service, a melancholy number from the Infotainment Scan, which is one of Roman’s favorites, and one so impactful to Tom that he can’t remember if he’s heard or not. Roman recommends the Peel session version, which you’ll hear excerpted in the episode. ALSO DISCUSSED Patti Smith says a choice word on record, repeatedly This takes up probably half of the episode, and good god, it goes places. Poly book club update Yes, big news for the locals—Roman finally enacted some real societal change in a city he no longer inhabits. We also discuss the literary value of the Ethical Slut. Jerry Seinfeld on what’s “NOT FUNNY.” Also Tom questions Roman’s self-described victimhood, and a more successful cartoonist than us says (privately) that Roman draws like a woman (we should reiterate at this point that this is absolutely fine, and we have nothing but respect and admiration for that cartoonist, and Roman does draw like a woman). Lastly, we finally connect Pizza Gate and Pizza Island. They could’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky meddling . PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Tom hasn’t updated his in a while so who gives a shit. Roman has rebooted fan-favorite Terrible Father… …and made some Resident Evil 4 fan-art. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    58 min
  8. 30 MAY

    10. No Bulbs

    Welcome to the TENTH episode of your favorite podcaster’s favorite podcast, Two Librans. We’ve spent the better part of a week together on a European holiday, and haven’t killed each other quite yet, and even managed to finally edit another episode, based on this certified banger: We both agree it’s about living in squalor, but both Roman and the weirdos at The Annotated Fall think it has something to do with Mark E. Smith expecting the previous tenant of his flat to leave a belt for him to wear when the move out (?). There are plenty of demented theories in the comments, and we ride along on their leaps of logic till they become too stupid to deal with. This week’s episode is also our new format! From here on out we’re only going to cover one topic or song. It’s shorter! This one is a 1hr! 1hr! 1hr! Enduction ep. This is also our first episode with an HR complaint, as we navigate the tricky world of slack-based workspace bullying. ALSO DISCUSSED Mark Zuckerberg’s Neck Roman brags about eating charcoal for some reason Women of the World Take Over the Pod Jeffrey Lewis’s fun “documentary” on The Fall Miami Review of Comics Drew Lerman’s proper comics podcast which has no mention of astrology or the Fall (which is why it’s not as good as ours). A recent episode of it may’ve been sampled into nonsense in this ep (the real thing is much more sober and informative than what we do here). PS. Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman recently got hospitalized (he’s fine-ish now) and improvised some demented comics about the oldest profession. And Tom is about to post pretty long travelogue series on his trip to Europe, including lots of shocking and disturbing revelations about Roman that MIGHT end our friendship! Subscribe so you don’t miss one juicy bit. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

    59 min

About

A podcast about the Fall and Mark E.Smith, headed by two cartoonists of moderate renown, Roman Muradov and Tom Van Deusen. If you don't care about the Fall, most of the show is funny digressions and exemplary banter on subjects as varied as Russian Wheel of Fortune, Tom Morello's Dangerous Truths, indie comics, Slack bullying, chocolate fountains, and so much more. twolibrans.substack.com

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