Becoming Me

Ann Yeong
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Becoming Me is your podcast companion and coach in your journey to a more integrated and authentic self. I explore the joys and challenges of the interior journey and share practical wisdom about growing in wholeness, healing from complex trauma, and navigating the existential crises of spiritual midlife deconstruction and renewal as an integrated Roman Catholic. Visit www.integroformation.com for more!

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  1. Episodio 162

    Deconstruction: A Trauma-Informed, Integrative and First-Hand Perspective

    Episode 162 Welcome to my first episode of 2026! After a six-week break, I'm returning with greater clarity and readiness to share about a topic I've been living through: deconstruction. In this episode, I'm opening up about my personal journey through deconstruction—not as an outside observer, but as someone who has walked (and is still walking) this difficult path.  What I Cover: • Why lived experience matters when discussing deconstruction—and why resources from those who haven't gone through it often fall short • The crucial connection between deconstruction and trauma that's often missing from conversations • Why deconstruction is an embodied, multidimensional experience that can't be reduced to intellectual analysis alone • The mystical dimension of deconstruction and what it means to leap into the abyss with no guarantees • How deconstruction relates to spiritual midlife and the transition into the second half of life • Why I had to be willing to let go of everything—even my identity as a "good Catholic"—to follow where Christ was leading This is the beginning of a season exploring deconstruction from multiple angles. I'll be addressing questions listeners send me and diving into the many facets of this complex, painful, and ultimately transformative journey. If you're going through deconstruction yourself, I hope this offers you some companionship and validation. If you're trying to understand what someone you love is experiencing, I hope this gives you insight into the depth and sacredness of this process. Watch this recording on YouTube. CHAPTER MARKERS 0:00 - Introduction: Why Now? 9:37 - The Importance of Lived Experience 21:01 - Deconstruction and Trauma 29:42 - Trauma-Informed Lens to Reactions Towards Deconstruction 38:01 - The Integrative Lens 44:24 - The Mystical Dimension 51:57 - No Guarantee in Deconstruction 56:45 - The Second Half of Life 1:01:25 - Closing Thoughts Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    1 h 4 min

  2. Episodio 163

    Why It's So Hard to Explain Deconstruction

    Episode 163 In this episode, I dive into one of the most challenging aspects of deconstruction: trying to explain it to others who haven't experienced it themselves. I respond to a thoughtful question from a follower about how to remain committed to the church while being honest about its limitations during deconstruction. But as I share, this question itself reveals the gap between those observing deconstruction from the outside and those living through it. What I explore in this episode: Why deconstruction can't be fully understood from an intellectual or conceptual level aloneHow trauma plays a central role in the deconstruction processWhy it's impossible to "hold onto the good" while deconstructing—and why that's okayThe difference between critiquing the church and actually deconstructing your faithWhy deconstruction feels like drowning, like having your entire container of faith fall apartHow my own journey with family trauma mirrors my faith deconstructionDeconstruction is disorganised, chaotic, and impossible to neatly explain even to ourselves. If you're going through this process, I hope you feel seen. If you're trying to understand someone who is, I hope this gives you compassion for how difficult it is to put into words. Watch this recording on YouTube. CHAPTER MARKERS 0:00 Introduction 6:22 Unpacking a Follower's Question 11:21 Reading the Question 16:25 Deconstructing the Container, Not Just the Content 18:18 Seeing the Harm in Church Structures 37:22 You Can't Hold On While Letting Go 45:13 My Family of Origin Story 55:39 God Wants Freedom for Us 57:47 External Critique vs. Interior Journey 1:02:00 Closing Thoughts Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    1 h 5 min

  3. Episodio 164

    How Moral Injury Can Lead to Deconstruction

    Episode 164 In this episode, I talk about how moral injury can be connected to or trigger deconstruction. This is a topic that has been deeply significant in my own journey of interior integration and healing. Moral injury is the damage done to one's conscience or moral compass when we perpetrate, witness, or fail to prevent acts that transgress our own moral beliefs and values. Originally studied in war veterans, this concept has helped me understand the trauma I've experienced in relation to the Catholic Church and spiritual harm. I share how moral injury doesn't just happen when we're directly involved in something wrong—it can occur when we're spectators to injustice, when institutions we trust betray their stated values, or when spiritual leaders remain silent in the face of harm. I also explore how we often defend ourselves against moral injury through rationalisation, and how the journey of interior integration requires us to become more embodied and truthful about reality. This episode is deeply personal as I reflect on my own experiences of deconstruction—not as a total loss of faith, but as a necessary dismantling of religious frameworks that could no longer hold the truth I was encountering in my relationship with God. Watch this recording on YouTube. CHAPTER MARKERS 0:00 Introduction: Moral Injury and Deconstruction 2:41 What is Moral Injury? 3:26 Origins in War Veterans Studies 5:13 Moral Injury as Spectators 7:45 Current Events and Personal Experience 10:57 Betrayal by Spiritual Leaders 22:54 Cognitive Dissonance and Defense Mechanisms 31:23 Interior Integration Journey 33:42 Naming Harm in Family Relationships 42:39 Becoming Embodied and Seeing Truth 46:09 Deconstructing the Church 51:25 Relationship with God Through Deconstruction Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    55 min

  4. Episodio 165

    Deconstructing: 'God' vs 'Christianity / Catholicism'

    Episode 165 Have you ever wondered why some people deconstruct not only their religion but also their entire faith in God, while others deconstruct aspects of organised religion yet retain a relationship with the divine or even with the Christian God? In this episode, I explore the distinction between deconstructing our notions of God and deconstructing the institutional aspects of faith like Christianity or Catholicism. Drawing from personal experience, I discuss how our individual deconstruction journeys unfold differently based on the depth of our personal encounters with God versus what we've been taught through religious tradition. In this episode I discuss • The difference between deconstructing religion vs. deconstructing God • How personal mystical experiences shape our faith journey • How conflicting imprints about God in our nervous systems can create an insecure, “disorganised” or confused attachment with God • Understanding "spiritual but not religious" in the context of deconstruction • The apophatic (mystical) tradition in Christianity Watch this recording on YouTube. RESOURCE James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation CHAPTER MARKERS 0:00 Why do some lose faith in God and some do not? 1:32 The Commenter's Argument 3:31 Deconstruction Beyond Intellect 8:13 James Finley's Story 14:01 Spiritual But Not Religious 17:42 When Personal Encounters Make God Real Beyond Doubt 21:32 Conflicting Imprints of God in the Nervous System 25:49 When Faith Depends on Constructs 41:30 Beyond the Visible Church 42:30 The Apophatic Tradition Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    48 min

  5. Contenido extra del episodio 166

    Tasting the Fruit of Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents

    Episode 166 In this bonus mini-episode,  I share what it's like to taste the fruit of a nine year long interior integration and healing process of my family of origin complex trauma. I describe in concrete terms what this feels like in my body and in the impact I see it has on the rest of my family. I hope this encourages those who are similar healing journeys! Watch on YouTube here. Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    10 min

  6. Episodio 167

    Deconstruction as Differentiation and Individuation

    Episode 167 In this episode, I'm exploring deconstruction through the lens of differentiation and individuation—two psychological concepts that have profoundly shaped my faith journey. For years, I related to Catholicism the way I related to my family of origin—with enmeshment, not healthy boundaries. I believed that closeness meant having no division, that love meant disappearing into the other. I carried this into my relationship with God, believing I had to disappear into Him rather than becoming fully myself. In this episode, I talk about: What differentiation and individuation mean in the context of faithHow enmeshment in family systems mirrors enmeshment with the ChurchWhy questioning and discernment are essential to mature faithThe difference between mystical oneness and emotionally healthy individuationLearning to trust my own desires instead of fearing themHow healing from trauma is itself an act of differentiationWatch this recording on YouTube. RESOURCE James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation CHAPTER MARKERS 0:00 Why do some lose faith in God and some do not? 1:32 The Commenter's Argument 3:31 Deconstruction Beyond Intellect 8:13 James Finley's Story 14:01 Spiritual But Not Religious 17:42 When Personal Encounters Make God Real Beyond Doubt 21:32 Conflicting Imprints of God in the Nervous System 25:49 When Faith Depends on Constructs 41:30 Beyond the Visible Church 42:30 The Apophatic Tradition Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    55 min

  7. Episodio 168

    Why Deconstruction is an Essential Part of Complex Trauma Recovery (with New Introduction)

    Episode 168 In this re-sharing of a Season 10 episode, I explore why deconstruction is a necessary part of healing from complex trauma — especially for people of faith. I define deconstruction as questioning assumptions we've never questioned before and opening up to new possibilities. I share three zones where I've experienced this: 1. Self-Identity — Differentiating between the survival "Role Self" I built to be accepted and my true "Core Self" that had been buried. 2. Familial & Cultural Values — Recognising how traditions and values handed down through my family facilitated harm and kept me silent. 3. Faith — Wrestling with the growing gap between who God revealed Himself to be in my healing journey and the God of my religious upbringing. I also discuss why healing requires more than religious or doctrinal belief — it demands a deep, existential trust that we are held by a love greater than ourselves. I close with reflection questions to help you identify where deconstruction may be showing up in your own journey. You don't need answers — just acknowledging the questions is powerful. Watch this recording on YouTube. CHAPTER MARKERS 0:00 Introduction 4:08 Defining Deconstruction 5:53 Defining Deconstruction 10:11 3 Zones of Deconstruction 12:07 1. Self-Identity Deconstruction 18:43 2. Familial and Cultural Values Deconstruction 24:07 3. Faith and Religious Deconstruction 39:01 Existential Faith vs Religious or Doctrinal Assent 46:34 Questions for Pondering and Conclusion Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    51 min

  8. Episodio 169

    An Unexpected Break: Podcast and Personal Update

    Episode 169 I've been quiet for the past month without an announced break. In this shorter episode I share with you the reason for my silence as well as an update about what's happening in the podcast.  Watch this recording on YouTube. Links to my recent Holy Week written sharings (mentioned in this episode): To My Fellow Complex Trauma Survivors Who Struggle with Holy Week A Good Friday Confession (I Don't Feel Anything) Before You Ask Catholics to “Come Home” this Easter Easter Hope for the Spiritually Traumatised Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

    13 min
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Información

Becoming Me is your podcast companion and coach in your journey to a more integrated and authentic self. I explore the joys and challenges of the interior journey and share practical wisdom about growing in wholeness, healing from complex trauma, and navigating the existential crises of spiritual midlife deconstruction and renewal as an integrated Roman Catholic. Visit www.integroformation.com for more!

Ficha técnica

  • Creado por
    Ann Yeong
  • Episodios
    170
  • Temporadas
    12
  • Clasificación
    Apto
  • Derechos de autor
    © 2026 Parrhesia | Integrō Formation
  • Sitio web del podcast
    Becoming Me