How to Lose the Wait

Holly Toscanini
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Welcome to How to Lose the ‘WAIT’—the podcast for women in midlife who are tired of living like their real life starts “later.” If you’ve been waiting for confidence, the perfect timing, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or a braver version of you to take the wheel… you’re in the right place.  Holly Toscanini is the warm, witty, and refreshingly real voice behind How to Lose the ‘Wait’ — the podcast helping women over 40 stop postponing their lives and start living fully, exactly as they are. A bestselling author, empowerment coach, and creator of The Unwaiting Method™, Holly has made it her mission to help women trade perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing for confidence, intuition, and freedom. Through candid storytelling and laugh-out-loud truth-telling, she guides listeners out of the “waiting room” of life — where everything is on hold until things are perfect — and into a life that feels bold, meaningful, and completely their own. Every episode of How to Lose the ‘Wait’ feels like coffee with a best friend who actually gets it. Holly unpacks what it really takes to rebuild confidence in midlife, draw boundaries without guilt, and reconnect with the wisdom women were taught to ignore. With each conversation, she reminds listeners that it’s not too late to reinvent themselves — it’s right on time. If you’re ready to stop waiting for permission and start living the life you were meant for, How to Lose the ‘Wait’ will show you how to do it with humor, heart, and zero apologies. Stop Waiting. Start Living. https://howtolosethewait.riverside.com/

  1. 113. Why you Keep Saying, "Someday": The Permission Problem

    HACE 4 D

    113. Why you Keep Saying, "Someday": The Permission Problem

    The someday cycle isn’t a character flaw. It’s a specific pattern — Desire + Condition — and once you see its shape, you can start to break it. Take the Free Unwaiting Audit- a short assessment that identifies exactly where in the W.A.I.T. Framework you’re currently stuck. You have something you want to do. And you’ve attached a condition to it. I’ll do it when the kids are older. When work settles down. When I feel more ready. When the timing is right. The desire is real. The condition sounds reasonable. And the thing itself stays exactly where it’s been for months — sometimes years. This is the someday cycle. And in this episode — week three of the W.A.I.T. Framework series — Holly Toscanini names the specific structure that keeps it running, explains why the condition is almost never genuinely the issue, and teaches you how to use two Unwaiting Method tools to start loosening the pattern’s hold. In this episode, Holly covers: The Desire + Condition structure — the specific shape of the someday cycle and why the condition is chosen to stay just out of reachThree versions of the pattern: the moving goalpost, the condition swap, and desire dilution — the slow erosion of a desire through repeated deferralWhat’s really underneath the condition (and why it’s almost never about readiness)How to use Micro-Moves to bypass the condition entirely and start building evidence that movement is possibleThe someday-specific flavor of the Wobble — “Who am I to want this?” — and how to hold through it without folding Next week: Episode 114 — Fear with a Planner: Is Your Careful Planning Actually Fear in Disguise? Take the Free Unwaiting Audit- a short assessment that identifies exactly where in the W.A.I.T. Framework you’re currently stuck. https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-5-minute-midlife-confidence-quiz someday cycle, why do I keep putting things off, desire and condition, how to stop waiting for the right time, permission problem, midlife women stuck, Micro-Moves, the wobble, W.A.I.T. framework, unwaiting method, how to stop deferring your life, midlife reinvention, women over 40 goals, desire dilution, I’ll do it when

    15 min
  2. 112. The Research Loop: Why More Information Is a Form of Stalling

    20 ABR

    112. The Research Loop: Why More Information Is a Form of Stalling

    You’re reading, researching, saving articles — and still not moving. You don’t have a clarity problem. You have a pattern. Here’s how to break it. You’re not doing nothing. You’re very busy, actually. Reading about it. Listening to podcasts about it. Saving articles, watching videos, taking notes, joining the free webinar. You are gathering information. You are being thorough. And the thing itself — the actual move, the actual decision, the actual change — is exactly where it was six months ago. This is the Research Loop. And it’s one of the most sophisticated ways a capable woman can keep herself exactly where she is while feeling like she’s making progress. In this episode — week two of the W.A.I.T. Framework series Take the Free Unwaiting Audit: https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-5-minute-midlife-confidence-quiz Holly Toscanini names the Research Loop precisely, explains why smart women are particularly susceptible to it, and teaches you how to apply two existing Unwaiting Method tools to break the pattern. Next week: Episode 113 — The Permission Problem: Why Your Desires Are Still on the Someday List. why am I not making progress, information hoarding, how to stop overthinking, clarity vs avoidance, midlife women stuck, W.A.I.T. framework, unwaiting method, how to trust yourself, midlife reinvention, women over 40 personal growth, stop procrastinating, how to start the thing

    15 min
  3. 111. Who Is Actually Making Your Decisions?

    13 ABR

    111. Who Is Actually Making Your Decisions?

    Think you’re making your own decisions? For most midlife women, an invisible Inner Council is running the show. Here’s how to take your seat back. Take the Free Unwaiting Audit: https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-5-minute-midlife-confidence-quiz You have a sense of what you want to do. And then, almost automatically, you start consulting everyone else before you let yourself act on it. What would my partner think? What does my doctor say? What would my mother say? What do the women I respect think about this kind of choice? By the time the consultation is over, your original instinct has been overruled, diluted, or buried — and you genuinely can’t tell anymore what you actually wanted. This isn’t just a decision-making habit. It’s a pattern called outsourcing your authority. And for most high-achieving midlife women, it runs so deep and so automatically that it doesn’t feel like a pattern at all. It just feels like being thorough. In this episode — the first in the 12-week W.A.I.T. Framework series — Holly Toscanini names this pattern precisely and gives you a framework for seeing it clearly in your own life. Chapters 00:00 Outsourcing Authority05:08 The Inner Council of Voices10:25 Reclaiming Your Authority outsourcing your authority, who is making your decisions, midlife women decision making, inner council, permission givers, self-trust for women, midlife reinvention, W.A.I.T. framework, reclaim your authority, women over 40 personal growth, stop seeking approval, how to trust yourself again, midlife identity, unwaiting method

    16 min
  4. 110. How to Start Changing Your Life in 30 Days (Without Burning Out)

    6 ABR

    110. How to Start Changing Your Life in 30 Days (Without Burning Out)

    Forget resolutions. This episode shows midlife women how to design a 30-day unwaiting experiment — low-pressure, sustainable, and built around your real life. You've probably had the experience of committing to a change, feeling genuinely motivated for about a week, and then watching it quietly dissolve back into your routine. It's not a willpower problem. It's a design problem. Most approaches to personal change ask for too much, too fast, with no built-in recovery — and for midlife women who are already carrying full lives, that model reliably leads to burnout, not breakthrough. In this episode, Holly Toscanini introduces a different approach: the 30-day unwaiting experiment. Not a resolution. Not a transformation. A deliberate, low-pressure test — with a specific focus, three types of sustainable action, and a tracking practice designed to build self-trust rather than shame. You'll learn Why 30-day experiments work better than open-ended resolutions — and why the framing of "experiment" changes everythingHow to choose your one focus area from five options: voice, body, creativity, relationships, or workThree types of actions to mix each week — micro-brave, micro-rest, and micro-pleasure — and why you need all threeHow to track your progress in a way that builds evidence of self-trust instead of feeding your inner criticWhat to do when the experiment gets disrupted (and it will) without abandoning the whole thing Unwaiting Quick Start Mini Course: https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-unwaiting-quick-start-guide Chapters 00:00 The Problem with Resolutions05:25 Choosing a Focus Area12:29 Tracking the Experiment 30-day challenge for women, how to change your life without burning out, unwaiting experiment, midlife women personal growth, self-trust building, how to start over in midlife, sustainable personal change, micro habits for women, 30-day experiment midlife, how to stop waiting to live your life, midlife reinvention, women over 40 confidence

    20 min
  5. 109. How to Move Forward after Loss : Grief, Identity, and Reinventing Yourself with Kym Coco

    30 MAR

    109. How to Move Forward after Loss : Grief, Identity, and Reinventing Yourself with Kym Coco

    There's a particular kind of “lost” that doesn't have a clean name. It's not always grief, though it can be. It's not always a crisis, though it can feel like one. It's the feeling of waking up and not quite recognizing the life you're living — or the woman living it. That's exactly what today's episode is about. Holly sits down with Kym Coco — author, yogi, kinesiology expert, and creator of Swagtail.com — to talk about what it really takes to rebuild your sense of self after a major life shift. Kym lost her husband and teaching partner, Stephen Thompson, and found herself having to figure out who she was and how to move forward when the life she'd built had changed completely. What she found — on a mountainside and in the years that followed — became her book Miracle on the Mountainside and the foundation of the tools she now teaches. In this episode, you'll hear: why feeling frozen after a big life change isn't weakness — it's your nervous system doing its job, and what to do instead. How to tell the difference between fear and intuition when you genuinely can't trust your own instincts. What rebuilding self-trust looks like before it feels possible. Simple nervous system tools that work in under three minutes on the hardest days. And the one thing Kym wants every woman in transition to hear. This one is for the woman who is done waiting to feel like herself again — and ready to find out who she's becoming. LINKS MENTIONEDWebsite  Swagtail.com   Facebook https://facebook.com/swagtailyoga Instagram https://instagram.com/swagtailyoga Pinterest https://pinterest.com/swagtail YouTube http://youtube.com/swagtailyogavideos Book Miracle on the Mountainside https://swagtail.com/miracle-on-the-mountainside-book/ Freebie: Swagtail.com/podcastbonus (a training on boosting focus and overcome fear that arises in transitions) #midlifewomen #selftrustjourney #rebuildingmyself #lifeaftergrief #midlifereinvention #howtolosethewait #womenover40 #intuitiveliving #nervousystemhealing #midlifepodcast

    47 min
  6. 108. Good Girl Rehab: 5 Rules You're Still Following That Keep You Waiting

    23 MAR

    108. Good Girl Rehab: 5 Rules You're Still Following That Keep You Waiting

    Still stuck even after doing the work? These 5 good girl conditioning rules keep midlife women waiting — and one small experiment can start to change that. You've done the work. You know your patterns. You're self-aware — and you're still waiting. Still waiting to speak up. Still waiting to make the change you've been circling. Still watching other women move while you stay exactly where you've been. If that sounds familiar, it's probably not a lack of insight. It's a set of invisible rules — absorbed early, followed automatically, and so deeply embedded they stopped feeling like rules a long time ago. They just feel like you. In this episode, Holly Toscanini names five of the most common good girl conditioning rules that keep midlife women stuck in a waiting cycle — and offers one small, honest experiment to try for each one. Not an overhaul. Just one move. In this episode, Holly covers: Why self-awareness alone doesn't break the waiting cycle — and what's actually still running in the background The five good girl rules that most commonly keep high-achieving midlife women postponing their own lives How each rule shows up in everyday situations — in your relationships, your work, and the way you talk to yourself What each rule is quietly costing you — in voice, aliveness, energy, and self-trust One small "rule reversal" experiment for each rule that you can try this week Why the guilt and discomfort after breaking a rule (the "good girl hangover") doesn't mean you did something wrong — and how to get through it without folding Holly closes with an invitation to take the Unwaiting Audit — a quick, free tool to identify which stage of the unwaiting journey you're in right now, and what your most practical next step is. Unwaiting Audit: https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-5-minute-midlife-confidence-quiz #goodgirlconditioning, #peoplepleasing, #midlife women, #self-trust #goodgirlrules, #womenover40 #personalgrowth,

    18 min
  7. 107. Pursue Your Spark with Heike Yates

    16 MAR

    107. Pursue Your Spark with Heike Yates

    Heike Yates, a midlife fitness expert, shares her journey of empowerment through fitness and the importance of taking action, self-trust, and the SPARK framework. She emphasizes the significance of starting small, consistency, and doing what doesn't hurt. Her approach focuses on building momentum and finding joy in movement. The conversation covers topics related to posture, nutrition, energy, stress, sleep, body image, and self-care for midlife women. Heike Yates shares insights on standing tall, healthy eating, protein intake, stress management, rest, and overcoming perfectionism. She emphasizes the importance of self-love and self-acceptance, offering practical tips for movement and mindset. Takeaways Empowerment through fitnessStarting small and building momentum Posture and body language impact confidence and energy.Eating protein with every meal can improve energy and reduce cravings.Rest and recovery are essential for overall well-being. Website: https://heikeyates.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pursueyourspark Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heikeyates/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heike-yates/ Substack: https://substack.com/@heikeyates YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQIeOesGLGAOD5RhI2KYjcA Podcast - Pursue Your Spark: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pursue-your-spark-midlife-fitness-nutrition-mindset/id1231586317 Book - Pursue Your Spark: https://amzn.to/4mD5xL7  Take the Unwaiting Audit- Discover your Confidence Archetype https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-5-minute-midlife-confidence-quiz Chapters 00:00 Empowerment Through Fitness09:53 The SPARK Framework15:04 Consistency and Joy in Movement24:54 Building Momentum and Finding Joy30:17 Nutrition and Energy42:09 Overcoming Perfectionism48:16 Movement and Self-Respect

    47 min
  8. 106. Stop Saying Yes When Your Body Says No: Setting Micro-Boundaries

    9 MAR

    106. Stop Saying Yes When Your Body Says No: Setting Micro-Boundaries

    We often hear that boundary-setting is an extreme act, but for many high-achieving women, there’s a middle ground that’s practical and effective.  Join me as we explore why those internal negotiations matter and how to reclaim your energy and time. By the end, you’ll know how to hold boundaries without sacrificing your peace! Click here to take The Unwaiting Audit https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-5-minute-midlife-confidence-quiz Discover 5 practical micro strategies to set healthy boundaries without sacrificing your self-trust. Perfect for women wanting to reclaim their time and energy. Setting boundaries can often feel overwhelming, especially when you’re used to being the reliable person in every situation. Have you ever found yourself saying yes to something you really didn’t want to do? If so, you’re not alone. In this post, we’ll explore how to establish healthy boundaries that honor your needs without feeling difficult or confrontational.  #SelfTrust #MicroBoundaries #WomenEmpowerment #HealthyBoundaries #PersonalGrowth

    19 min
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Información

Welcome to How to Lose the ‘WAIT’—the podcast for women in midlife who are tired of living like their real life starts “later.” If you’ve been waiting for confidence, the perfect timing, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or a braver version of you to take the wheel… you’re in the right place.  Holly Toscanini is the warm, witty, and refreshingly real voice behind How to Lose the ‘Wait’ — the podcast helping women over 40 stop postponing their lives and start living fully, exactly as they are. A bestselling author, empowerment coach, and creator of The Unwaiting Method™, Holly has made it her mission to help women trade perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing for confidence, intuition, and freedom. Through candid storytelling and laugh-out-loud truth-telling, she guides listeners out of the “waiting room” of life — where everything is on hold until things are perfect — and into a life that feels bold, meaningful, and completely their own. Every episode of How to Lose the ‘Wait’ feels like coffee with a best friend who actually gets it. Holly unpacks what it really takes to rebuild confidence in midlife, draw boundaries without guilt, and reconnect with the wisdom women were taught to ignore. With each conversation, she reminds listeners that it’s not too late to reinvent themselves — it’s right on time. If you’re ready to stop waiting for permission and start living the life you were meant for, How to Lose the ‘Wait’ will show you how to do it with humor, heart, and zero apologies. Stop Waiting. Start Living. https://howtolosethewait.riverside.com/

Ficha técnica

  • Creado por
    Holly Toscanini
  • Años en activo
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodios
    113
  • Clasificación
    Apto
  • Derechos de autor
    © 2026 Holly Toscanini
  • Sitio web del podcast
    How to Lose the Wait
  • Proveedor