What would you be willing to risk for “full aliveness”? In this episode, leadership coach Clay Stelzer unpacks radical responsibility, unconscious fear patterns, and how courageous self-awareness can transform the way you lead, work, and live. In this episode, Steve Fretzin and Clay Stelzer discuss: The meaning of “full aliveness” and positive selfishness Radical responsibility vs. victim, blame, and hero patterns Unconscious fears around security, approval, and control Feedback, delegation, and leadership blind spots Handling triggers, anger, and emotional energy as a leader Key Takeaways: You can’t create a fulfilling life or career without first getting radically honest about what you truly want and what you’re currently sacrificing to please others. Most of the outcomes people dislike in their lives are driven by reactive, fear-based decisions made without intention. Leaders are constantly influenced by three unconscious fears: threats to security, approval, and control, and these fears quietly shape decisions around feedback, delegation, and team dynamics. Taking radical responsibility means noticing your patterns, acknowledging your part in any situation, and choosing to learn rather than blame, shame, or play the hero. Emotional triggers and anger shouldn’t be buried; when you move that energy in healthy ways, you regain access to clarity, curiosity, and better leadership choices. "If you could be absolutely selfish and hurt no one's feelings, what would you want? Just understanding that is so important, because then you can get clear about what am I sacrificing or what am I compromising." — Clay Stelzer Check out my new show, Be That Lawyer Coaches Corner, and get the strategies I use with my clients to win more business and love your career again. Join the Be That Lawyer Community and connect with ambitious lawyers who are serious about growing their book of business, strengthening their brand, and becoming confident, consistent rainmakers. Ready to go from good to GOAT in your legal marketing game? Don’t miss PIMCON—where the brightest minds in professional services gather to share what really works. Lock in your spot now: https://www.pimcon.org/ Thank you to our Sponsor! LEX Reception: https://www.lexreception.com/partners/bethatlawyer Rankings.io: https://rankings.io/ Lawyer.com: https://www.lawyer.com/ Ready to grow your law practice without selling or chasing? Book your free 30-minute strategy session now—let's make this your breakout year: https://fretzin.com/ About Clay Stelzer: Clay Stelzer is an executive coach, public speaker, and founder of 15sixty, where he helps high-performing leaders, founders, and senior teams get unstuck, reclaim professional alignment, and take radical responsibility for their lives and businesses. Grounded in the principles of Conscious Leadership, Clay draws on a rich professional background that includes building a global team coaching practice at Salesforce, where he supported over 150 international teams and leaders. He pairs his extensive coaching credentials—including an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) designation, ORSC certification, and a Conscious Leadership Group certification—with a BA in Psychology from the University of Illinois and an MBA from Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business. Known for his deep presence, fierce honesty, and rare ability to challenge leaders without judgment, Clay creates the vital conditions for trust, clarity, and bold collective leadership from his home in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, where he lives with his family and their black lab. Connect with Clay Stelzer: Website: https://15sixty.com/ Connect with Steve Fretzin: LinkedIn: Steve Fretzin Twitter: @stevefretzin Instagram: @fretzinsteve Facebook: Fretzin, Inc. Website: Fretzin.com Email: Steve@Fretzin.com Book: Legal Business Development Isn't Rocket Science and more! YouTube: Steve Fretzin Call Steve directly at 847-602-6911 Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You're the expert. Your podcast will prove it.
