Immersion

Pamela Carey
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Immersion is a psychology podcast for curious people interested in how we live, what shapes us, and what we can change. We take an idea that gets repeated but rarely examined and look at what’s underneath it. That might mean discussing what contempt does to a relationship, how photographing everything affects our memory, or what Sartre and Frankl each had to say about purpose. We draw on psychology, philosophy, history, culture, and conversations with guests who know more than I do. We stay with the complicated parts instead of rushing toward a tidy answer, then bring it back to something you can actually use. Sometimes we follow one larger theme (like self-worth, choices, or community) across a series of episodes. Topics include relationships, trauma and healing, identity, decision-making, existentialist philosophy, language, and the larger systems that shape our lives. Got a question, story, or take? Send us a voicemail. We love hearing from you. https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey Let's dive - 30 minutes beneath the surface, every Sunday. This podcast is a production of Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or licensed psychologist

  1. -9 h

    The Paradox of Choice in Online Dating: An NYC Perspective (Interview – Part 2)

    This is Part 2 of our discussion on the Paradox of Choice and dating apps. In this episode, I’m joined by a friend to discuss his experiences navigating dating apps in a place like New York City, where the paradox of choice can feel particularly prevalent. Throughout this larger decision-making series, we've been using Barry Schwartz’s book, The Paradox of Choice, as a guide to explore how having more options can actually make decision-making harder. We also discuss concepts from the book including maximizers and satisficers, and how these different approaches to making choices can shape our dating experiences. A quick note on the scope of this conversation: As discussed in the episode, these experiences may be particularly relevant to people dating in larger cities and certain age groups. When we use "we," we're referring to people who have found that dating apps provide options, but haven't necessarily translated those options into the long-term relationships they're looking for. We recognize that everyone's experience with dating apps is different, and this is one perspective within a much broader conversation. Part 1 is here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/20015941 Thank you for tuning in! Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  2. 25 oct.

    What dating apps are doing to love: Why more options can make finding love harder

    If you’ve been on the apps for some time, you know that while there are more options than ever to find love presented in front of us, in many ways, it can feel harder. This is counterintuitive - so in this episode, we explore why that is the case and apply The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz to the dating context. In this episode, we cover: - An experiment I did over the summer: dating 12 men in 12 weeks, what I learned, and the deeper psychological reason behind the experiment. - Statistics and the optimal stopping theory - Counterfactual thinking and opportunity costs: is there someone better just one swipe away? - How the apps encourage a consumer-like mindset. - The famous jam study by Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper, and what it can teach us about dating. - How we find love today compared to our ancestors. - A mindset shift to help us treat each person more like the full human being they are. A note on the scope of this conversation: While I draw on my own experiences and an experiment I conducted, I'm not suggesting that everyone's experience with dating apps is the same. Our degree of optionality can vary significantly depending on factors like where we live and our individual circumstances. This conversation is particularly relevant to dating cultures in larger cities like NYC, but there's much more to explore about the different ways people experience dating apps. Chapters:  00:00 The paradox of choice in dating  01:20 The secretary problem: how long should you keep looking?  02:43 My dating experiment: 12 men in 12 weeks  07:03 Counterfactual thinking, opportunity costs, and seeing each person’s strengths  09:35 Love in the modern world compared to the past   12:24 The 37% rule: when should you stop looking?  16:07 How dating apps encourage a consumer mindset  18:24 An exercise in limiting choice  20:14 The main takeaway and what’s next? Part 2 is here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/20055178 Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  3. 18 oct.

    Why trying to make the “best” choice can make you less happy

    Would you rather feel happy with your decision or make a slightly better “objective” choice? It’s an interesting question, and in this episode, we unpack it through the lens of maximizing vs. satisficing. What does it mean to make a “good enough” choice versus the “best” choice? And what makes a choice the best one, anyway? Is it really the best choice if it leaves you filled with regret or constantly comparing yourself to others? We’ll explore research from Barry Schwartz’s book The Paradox of Choice, alongside some of my own theories about how maximizing and satisficing might interact with different personality traits and individual characteristics. In the second half of the episode, we turn to practical ways to become more comfortable with “good enough.” From CBT-informed strategies to shifting our expectations and perspectives, we’ll explore how we can make choices with greater confidence and less regret - and how our consumer culture, with its seemingly endless options, encourages us to keep maximizing in the first place. Chapters:  00:00 Would You Rather Make the Best Choice or Be Happy With Your Choice?  02:21 What Is Satisficing? Introducing Herbert Simon  03:12 Maximizing and Barry Schwartz  03:45 Quiz: Are You a Maximizer or a Satisficer?  04:54 Maximizing and Satisficing Can Vary by Area of Life  06:15 The Downsides of Maximizing  07:59 Personality, Past Experiences, and Maximizing  09:24 The Problem With Too Many Options  12:30 Fear of Regret and the Vicious Cycle of Maximizing  13:38 Social Comparison and Maximizing  16:30 How to Satisfice More Often  Resources mentioned: The Paradox of Choice - Book by Barry Schwartz Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  4. 4 oct.

    Does More Analyzing Lead to Better Decisions? | Decision Series Ep. 1

    Do you struggle making decisions? The vast amount of optionality in our modern world has improved our lives in many ways, but it has also left many of us feeling frozen - trapped under the weight of our decisions and the fear of regret. If you struggle with decisions big or small, this series on decision-making is for you. Specifically, we will ask: Do more options actually make our lives better? We will examine this in relationships, places to live, media, and more. We will also explore decision fatigue, heuristics, and research by Barry Schwartz from The Paradox of Choice.  And we'll ask: Does analyzing our choices more actually improve them? As you might guess, it depends on how we go about it. Finally, in this episode in particular, I share how much of this is centered on fear. I have often been obsessed with decision-making, but much of that was fear-based, and I am learning new ways to make choices more confidently. We are excited to embark on this series with you all! Please send in your thoughts, ideas, and questions that you think will make it even more interesting or helpful. Resources / mentioned in this episode:  The Paradox of Choice - Book by Barry Schwartz Peak-end rule by Daniel Kahneman Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  5. 20 sept.

    How Do You Know If You’re Successful? (Are You Playing the Right Game?)

    If you imagine 12 people lined up and ask each of them what it means to be successful, you may be surprised to realize that almost everyone is using a different scoreboard. Even two people who are both trying to become more intelligent could have completely different ideas of what intelligence (and success within it) actually looks like. We are all running different races or playing different games, so to speak. But what game are you playing? And did you consciously choose it? In this episode, we explore the invisible rubrics we use to measure our lives: from money, achievement, intelligence and beauty to kindness, humor, connection, freedom, creativity and dozens of others. We look at how our families, cultures and environments influence what we learn to value, how those standards can become internalized, and how to distinguish between something we simply want and something we’re actually using to measure our success. We also get practical: I share questions you can use to uncover your own rubric, a long list of the many ways people define success, and some clues hiding in where your attention, energy and idle thoughts naturally go. We’ll hear from a listener about the relationship between these "scoreboards" and self-esteem, and look at how the things we choose to optimize for ultimately shape our actions and the lives we build. Because our time is finite, we can't optimize for everything. So it may be worth asking: What are you keeping score of - and is it still the game you want to be playing? Chapters:  00:00 What game are you playing? 02:05 Micro vs. macro rubrics of success 03:24 Almost no one is playing the same game 05:05 Cultural capital & internalization 07:31 How to figure out your rubric of success 11:20 Listener voicemail: Internal vs. external measures of success 15:10 The many ways we define success 20:51 Where does your mind go when you’re doing nothing? 21:28 Your sub-rubric: How your definition of success shapes your actions 24:40 Four Thousand Weeks: Finite time & what we choose to optimize for 30:37 Choosing environments that reward what you value Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  6. 14 sept.

    How to Organize Life Into Categories When it Feels Overwhelming

    Life can feel like a lot of moving parts. Work, relationships, health, money, creativity, family, fun - when everything is swirling around at once, it can be hard to step back and see the whole picture. For more than a decade, I’ve used a simple practice to help with this: breaking my life into categories. The categories have changed as my life has changed, but I keep coming back to the framework when I want to regroup, set goals, or simply see where things stand. In this episode, I walk through my current categories, how they’ve evolved over the years, and some other ways we might think about mapping out a life. We get into: - Is life better represented as a list, a bar graph, a pie chart—or an interconnected web? - What happens when one area of life takes up more space than the others? - Diversification vs. seasons when we intentionally prioritize certain areas - Why taking stock of our lives can be especially useful during periods of transition - How you might create a framework that makes sense for your own life And we listen to a voicemail for the show about emotions and Inside Out 2! Video version here in case it helps to see some of this! https://youtu.be/ENFyTlno5bQ Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  7. 6 sept.

    The 5 character structures: How childhood wounds shape our patterns (and how we heal) | Somatic therapy interview

    Today we welcome Rebecca Stone to the podcast to talk about somatic therapy - the intersection of mind, body, and emotions. I had been wanting to speak to someone with this expertise because sometimes I feel like emotions are almost “trapped” in my body, and thinking my way out feels impossible. We hear a lot about the nervous system these days, but I wanted to speak to someone who works practically at the intersection of mind and body. Rebecca teaches us about Hakomi therapy and the bioenergetics and Core Energetics models. She shares a framework of five character structures and how they can develop in childhood based on when wounding occurs, how fragmentation can affect our core beliefs, and what healing can look like as we develop greater freedom of expression and new options for responding. We also explore how these strategies map onto other frameworks we know within psychology, such as attachment theory. Throughout the episode, we also discuss how intergenerational family trauma can impact all of this. So much can be passed down across generations, and Rebecca encourages us to expand the scope beyond looking only at our parents to consider what they may have inherited themselves - whether genetically or through learned behaviors, family patterns, and experiences. Timestamps:  00:00 Somatic therapy: mind, body, and emotions 01:30 “How did personality develop to protect pain?” - and the 5 character structures 13:45 What does healing look like? “What is the core belief that perpetuates the wound?” 16:20 “If we only talk about what we know, we are not going to get anywhere” - the body and trauma 19:31 What is healing? Expanding our window of tolerance Rebecca's practice at Brooklyn Somatic Therapy: https://www.brooklynsomatictherapy.com This episode was transformative for me, and I hope it will be for you too! Thanks for tuning in, and thank you Rebecca for coming on Immersion. Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  8. 30 août

    How Do We Actually Heal From Trauma? A Psychologist on Self-Worth, Recovery & More

    I sat down with clinical psychologist Anita, who specializes in trauma work to talk about what working through trauma actually looks like, how trauma-focused therapy works, and what healing can look like in practice. Timestamps:  00:00  Meet Anita & What we cover in this episode  01:42 When Are You Ready to Work on Trauma? 03:08  What Is Trauma-Focused Therapy? 04:08  Avoidance: How Do We Avoid Looking at Trauma? 07:18  Trauma, Self-Worth & Bridging the Gap Between Knowing and Feeling 10:57  Cognitive Processing Therapy & Incremental Improvement 12:00  How Different Forms of Therapy Work Together 16:55  Corrective Experiences & Healing in Connection 18:50  How Do We Learn Who Is Safe to Trust? 22:01  How Do We Change Our Patterns? 23:57  How “The Pendulum” Shows Up in Our Patterns 25:40  What Are the Stages of Healing From Trauma? 31:05  What Is Trauma? What Is PTSD? 34:07  Stepping Away From Comparative Suffering: “Your Pain Is Your Pain” 35:39  Integrating Fragmented Memories & Building a Narrative of Our Lives 38:36  Moving Between the Stages: Healing Isn’t Linear 41:10  The Back and Forth Between Therapy & Life 42:00  What to Expect in Therapy If You’ve Never Been 43:04  Why Is Therapy a One-Sided Relationship? Referenced in this episode: Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/cognitive-processing-therapy Anita's practice is currently full, but if anything changes, I will link more about her work here! Content note: This episode includes non-graphic discussion of trauma, PTSD, and abuse. Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

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À propos

Immersion is a psychology podcast for curious people interested in how we live, what shapes us, and what we can change. We take an idea that gets repeated but rarely examined and look at what’s underneath it. That might mean discussing what contempt does to a relationship, how photographing everything affects our memory, or what Sartre and Frankl each had to say about purpose. We draw on psychology, philosophy, history, culture, and conversations with guests who know more than I do. We stay with the complicated parts instead of rushing toward a tidy answer, then bring it back to something you can actually use. Sometimes we follow one larger theme (like self-worth, choices, or community) across a series of episodes. Topics include relationships, trauma and healing, identity, decision-making, existentialist philosophy, language, and the larger systems that shape our lives. Got a question, story, or take? Send us a voicemail. We love hearing from you. https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey Let's dive - 30 minutes beneath the surface, every Sunday. This podcast is a production of Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or licensed psychologist

Informations

  • Création
    Pamela Carey
  • Années d’activité
    2024 - 2026
  • Épisodes
    64
  • Classification
    Tous publics
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises
  • Site web de l’émission
    Immersion