Seventeen Paradiso Media

In 2002, Laura Leigh Abby’s 17th birthday party kicked off a year of freedom in which she would experience many things for the first time; she thought she was finally becoming a woman. Now, almost 20 years later, she's going back to her journals from that year and revisiting some of her own adolescent choices.

Laura recalls the time she hooked up with two guys in one night and tries to make sense of how she felt about it. She explores her own misconceptions about sex and pleasure and turns to her sister and a close friend to compare experiences. Together they talk about high school boyfriends and examine the word “slut.”

A sudden death in the family has young Laura facing tragedy for the first time. Looking back on its aftermath, adult Laura explores the communication barriers that existed between her and her parents back then. She talks with her mom about topics that have always felt off-limits: grief, loss, and of course – sex.

Laura recalls a high school relationship that never quite materialized, and reaches out to the guy to get his take on their would-be romance. He immediately denies ever having feelings for her, and Laura must navigate the rest of the interview with the possibility that her complicated feelings were one-sided.

Laura wants to know what being a teen was like for guys. Was it as easy as it looked, or did they face the same pressure she felt in high school? As she recalls her crush on “the coolest guy in school,” Laura chats with her older brother about high school popularity, how to fit in, and what it’s really like to be a teenage guy.

While going through her journals, Laura uncovers the truth about what really happened to her at a party in high school. In this episode she talks about the stigma of shame, the Me Too movement, and the gray area of sexual assault.