On today’s Sideshow-exclusive episode, Tim dives headfirst into hygiene hell, alien organ-harvesting conspiracies, whisper-sung cover songs, and a racist Cinnabon meltdown that somehow turned into a six-figure payday. The show kicks off in the darkest corner of Reddit’s Hygiene subreddit, where a 21-year-old man seeks help for chronic ass and foot stench. Despite claiming “tip-top hygiene,” the comments quickly spiral into fat-shaming, racism, bad medical advice, and the timeless Reddit classic: “ha ha, stinky.” Tim breaks down the absolute insanity of crowdsourcing personal health issues online and why anonymity guarantees brutality. From there, we flash back to the pre-Reddit era of trolling with 1990s public-access prank calls, featuring motorcycle shows hijacked by callers obsessed with masturbation, testicle vibration, and shoving handlebars where they absolutely do not belong. Next up: a classic Alexis K. Tyler update, starting with a Campbell’s Soup executive controversy and accelerating straight into an extraterrestrial conspiracy involving elite families, genies, freezer farms of Black body parts, stolen organs, melanin harvesting, and aliens who apparently want the human pineal gland. Somehow HIV, CIA agents, crack whores, and undercover basketball players are also involved. As always, Alexis delivers chaos in its purest DV-approved form. We then induct a new member into the Linda Finkel Hall of Fame: a soft-spoken man whisper-singing classic hits like Eye of the Tiger and Forever Young at what can only be described as “library volume.” Tim marvels at yet another performer who appears to have never heard the original versions of the songs they’re covering. In the news, Tim covers a viral Cinnabon incident in Wisconsin where a white employee repeatedly used racial slurs against a Black Somali Muslim couple—on camera—after a dispute over a cinnamon roll. She was immediately fired, condemned by Cinnabon corporate… and rewarded by conservative crowdfunding to the tune of over $100,000, while the victims’ fundraiser barely clears a few grand. The comments on the fundraiser reveal just how far gone some people truly are. Also in distorted tech news: “humanoid robots” unveiled at an Iranian tech expo are exposed as literal humans in bodysuits covered in binary code. Tim compares the stunt to Tesla’s infamous fake robot demos and discusses why most “AI robots” still secretly require human operators watching your house through cameras. The episode wraps with voicemails, including Unicorn Hamster proudly completing the sacred trilogy of dick pic + b******e shot, gay hookup app adventures, listener praise, autism tests for Lord Douche, and the usual DV-style chaos. Support the show: • Sideshow memberships & lifetime upgrades • Patreon access & voicemail priority • Sponsor an episode • Today’s deal: Promo code BUTT — $5 off the ARG Jolly Pirate Fleece Hoodie at shop.distortedview.com Spread the distortion. STD. 💥
