173 episodes

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

Absolutely Not Dear Media

    • Comedy
    • 4.9 • 65 Ratings

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

    Pulled Pork Party

    Pulled Pork Party

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather  hits the Absolutely Not Line and the voicemails are SHOCKING! One caller is getting fired from her job for being with child, while another is out-of-the-blue allergic to pulled pork. It's literally a game of survival. We have deep embarrassing confessions and some triggering core memories. No stone is left unturned on this insane episode! 
     
    Sponsors:
     
    Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely
     
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    Produced by Dear Media
     
    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

    • 1 hr 12 min
    Three Queens and a Mic

    Three Queens and a Mic

    On this week's episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back after way too many difficulties joined by best friend of the show, Raymond Padilla. They talk about everything from the royal family to Ray almost losing an arm after his monkey pox vaccination - and Robin joins in after being bamboozled by the MOMA.
     
    Sponsors: 
     
    Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months at Visitritual.com/ABSOLUTELY
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. 
     
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    For listeners of the show, Everlywell is offering a special discount of twenty percent off an at-home lab test at Everlywell.com/absolutely
     
    Use code “ABSOLUTELY15” for 15% off Poppi on Amazon and get sippin'. 
     
    Produced by Dear Media
     
    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

    • 1 hr 3 min
    Pest Control

    Pest Control

        On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the hotline with some wildly new and improved SCAMMMMS! After a weekend of dealing with Robin's international catfishing fiasco, Heather is on High alert to the tricks and deals y'all are trying to pull. As if we didnt have enough shit to deal with already- The hotline is filled with 1200 back cracks and a frantic 911 call from Australia!
     
    Sponsors:
     
    Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off plus free shipping on your purchase of $100
     
    Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely
     
    Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases and bags at AwayTravel.com/absolutely
     
    For listeners of this show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 19 min
    Bat in the Balenciaga

    Bat in the Balenciaga

      On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather hits the Absolutely Not Line to solve the world's problems. However, after the first voicemail she quickly realizes we need to call animal control. On this week's episode- we've got a lady with a bat in her designer bag, a lady on a cruise to nowhere, and a mom trying to navigate how to save teenagers from turning to the darkside! 
     
     
    Sponsors:
     
     
    Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely.
     
     
    Go to goodr.com/absolutely and get 15% off when you use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.
     
     
    Use code ABSOLUTELY15 for 15% off on Amazon and get sippin' Poppi soda.
     
     
    Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ at Talkspace.com
     
     
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 12 min
    TABITHA'S TAKEOVER

    TABITHA'S TAKEOVER

       On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather has business consultant and friend, Raymond Padilla come to the Absolutely Not Headquarters for a full take over. It's the Board Meeting no one wanted to sit down for, but absolutely needed to attend. We're getting our ducks in a row while simultaneously fixing the world's problems by using the 5 pillars of efficiency. Ray also asks for donations at the end because Heather is sure as hell not paying him for his time or knowledge. 
     
    Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely
     
    Head over to WooMorePlay.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off the entire site.
     
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    Get 20% off and free shipping with code ABSOLUTELY EatDeux.com
     
    Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at Article.com/ABSOLUTELY
     
    Produced by Dear Media
     
     

    • 1 hr 1 min
    Lesbian Low Country Boil

    Lesbian Low Country Boil

        On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is reporting live from the PANHANDLE of Florida, aka 30A.  She is back from Mississippi and narrowly skirted death on the highway, only to have a new lease on life. She is taking no b******t and dishing out some of the best advice she's ever given from the hotline. Like- Why heterosexual couples should never own catering companies- to what to do if your teeth are falling out. That and more! 
     
    Check Out Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
     
    Use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off and free shipping on your order of $100+ at Brooklinen.com
     
    Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today.
     
    FX’s Little Demon premieres August 25 on FXX. Stream on Hulu!
     
    Produced by Dear Media

    • 1 hr 2 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
65 Ratings

65 Ratings

Sophie EF ,

Hello from Abu Dhabi

I look forward to this podcast every week and put it on when getting ready to go for drinks every Thursday (start of the weekend in the UAE) and it never fails to put me in a good mood with its realism. I WILL make a live show one day across the pond!

FionaNora ,

😍😍😍

This podcast with Heather McMahan is the best!! It has carried me through 2020 and I can’t wait for Wednesday’s each week to hear a new episode. Guaranteed to LAUGH LOUDLY! So real, so funny, so raw ☺️

Han_______ ,

Always a laugh

I love Heather and this podcast brings me joy every week!! Always relatable, always hilarious! 💜

Would really appreciate it if whoever edits could add a little jingle or something to break up the episode from the ads, it confuses me to hear Heather change the subject so abruptly then carry on with what she was talking about when the ad is over. 🙈💜

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