Domestic and family violence does not just damage the primary relationship - it can quietly dismantle a person's entire social world. Through isolation, coercive control, and the weight of shame, friendships may fade, family connections may fracture, and survivors can emerge feeling utterly alone. In this episode of Rise and Reclaim, Jo Mason explores the real impact DFV has on social confidence and connection and why rebuilding those relationships, one small step at a time, is not only possible but deeply healing. Joined by Kris, a victim-survivor, advocate, and what Jo describes as "walking sunshine", this episode is an honest, warm, and practical conversation about how to find your people again after everything has changed. In this episode: Why isolation is one of the most common tactics of coercive control and how it happens gradually, almost invisibly Why shame keeps survivors hidden long after they leave and why that shame belongs to the person who chose to use violence, not the person who experienced it How trauma changes social confidence and why that is a nervous system response, not a personal failing Jo's own experience of emerging from DFV as a "one-woman island" and how she rebuilt her social world step by step Why rebuilding connection does not have to be a big leap and why small moments of safety, repeated over time, are where healing actually happens Why not every friendship survives trauma and why that grief is real, valid, and part of recovery How safe, healthy friendships can become part of the recovery itself Kris's story cut off quickly, isolated for a long time, and how she found her way back through DV support groups, one kind person at a time Why social awkwardness after trauma is completely normal and why confidence is usually rebuilt through reconnecting, not before it Practical tips from this episode: Start with one trusted person and keep it low pressure. A phone call, a coffee, a short visit Consider joining a support group or community activity. Meeting others with shared experience can be deeply validating and a genuine source of new friendship You do not owe anyone your story. Think in advance about what you are comfortable sharing and what you are not, and hold that boundary confidently Notice who makes you feel emotionally safe and protect your energy from those who do not Social awkwardness after trauma is normal. Confidence comes through connection, not before it Some friendships will not survive, and that's okay. Recovery creates space for healthier, more aligned relationships Know that you are worthy of friendship and connection, that has never changed Kris's tips for rebuilding socially: Know that you are a good person with good things to offer, which is still true, even if abuse tried to convince you otherwise. There are kind people out there who genuinely want to spend time with you, find one, and others tend to follow Go and find your people, even if it starts with just one A note for listeners: This podcast covers topics related to domestic and family violence. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If anything comes up for you, support is available. 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week About Verdella: Rise and Reclaim is proudly brought to you by Verdella, an online domestic violence recovery program that walks alongside people as they rebuild their lives after DFV. Available free to participants through licensed workplaces and community service organisations. Visit: verdella.com.au to find out more. Connect with WorkHaven: workhaven.com.au hello@workhaven.com.au Subscribe and follow Rise and Reclaim so you do not miss future episodes. If this podcast has resonated with you, please share it; you never know who might need to hear it.
