couples in focus

Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston
  • 4.9 (7)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Couples in Focus is a podcast for anyone wanting to improve their relationships. Hosted by Thomas and Michael, two relationship therapists from https://coupletherapy.earth/ and thesecurecouple.com, it offers expert insights, real-world advice, and answers to audience questions. They cover communication, intimacy, trust, and conflict, providing actionable tools and compassionate guidance. Each episode explores relatable challenges and offers practical strategies to help couples strengthen their connection and thrive in their relationships.

  1. 5 DAYS AGO

    Beyond Safety: What Actually Makes a Relationship Flourish?

    In this episode of Couples in Focus, we explore a question many couples never stop to ask: What actually makes a relationship flourish? A lot of relationship advice focuses on safety—reducing conflict, improving communication, and creating emotional security. And those things matter. But they’re really just the foundation. So why do some relationships feel stable… yet flat? And what’s the difference between a relationship that simply works and one that truly feels alive? In this conversation, we explore the deeper ingredients that help relationships thrive, including playfulness, admiration, curiosity, personal growth, and shared meaning. We also talk about why many couples slowly drift into “functional partnerships” and how small shifts can bring back energy, connection, and attraction. If you’ve ever wondered how couples move from secure to deeply alive, this episode dives into the subtle dynamics that make that possible. You’ll hear reflections on: Why stability alone doesn’t guarantee happiness in a relationship The surprising role of play and laughter in long-term love How curiosity can bring couples closer again Why personal growth can actually increase attraction The difference between relationships that drain us and those that energise us If you’d like to learn more about our work with couples, you can visit:https://coupletherapy.earth And if you’re interested in tools and training to better understand relationship dynamics:https://findyourmatch.academy We hope this conversation sparks some reflection about what helps relationships not just survive—but truly flourish.

    25 min

  2. 18 FEB

    Mastering Self-Regulation in Relationships

    Summary In this episode of Couples in Focus, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston delve into the critical concepts of self-regulation and co-regulation within relationships. They explore how understanding our stress responses and predictive models can enhance emotional awareness and communication between partners. The discussion emphasises the importance of recognising bodily cues, the role of meditation, and the necessity of both self-regulation and co-regulation for healthy relationships. Through practical examples and insights, the hosts offer listeners strategies to improve their emotional intelligence and relationship dynamics. To learn more, visit https://coupletherapy.earth/ for couples or if you are single https://findyourmatch.academy/ Takeaways Self-regulation is essential for effective communication in relationships. Meditation helps in developing awareness of bodily sensations. Recognising stress responses can prevent escalation in conflicts. Co-regulation involves partners supporting each other's emotional states. Predictive models shape our expectations in relationships. Ruptures in relationships can lead to opportunities for repair. Effective co-regulation requires self-regulation skills. Emotional object permanence helps in building trust between partners. Small steps in self-regulation can lead to significant changes. Understanding predictive models can change how we perceive our partner's actions. Keywords self-regulation, co-regulation, predictive models, stress response, emotional intelligence, couples therapy, communication, relationship dynamics, mindfulness, emotional awareness Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Self-Regulation 03:07 Understanding Self-Regulation and Its Importance 05:58 The Role of Body Awareness in Self-Regulation 08:54 Strategies for Self-Regulation 12:14 The Impact of Relationships on Self-Regulation 15:04 Predictive Models and Their Influence on Behavior 17:50 The Importance of Repair in Relationships 22:58 The Importance of Self-Regulation 25:57 Understanding Predictive Models in Relationships 29:01 Effective Co-Regulation and Dependence 32:10 Navigating Emotional Dysregulation 35:04 The Role of Movement in Self-Regulation 38:03 Building Emotional Object Permanence 41:00 Expanding the Window of Tolerance

    44 min

  3. 29/12/2025

    Habits for flourishing relationship

    Summary In this episode of Couples in Focus, Michael and Thomas discuss the importance of recognising overwhelm and stress in relationships, especially as the new year approaches. They explore strategies for managing stress, the role of partners in identifying each other's stress signals, and the significance of maintaining a positive presumption of intent in relationships. The conversation emphasises the need for self-awareness, communication, and mutual support to foster healthier relationships and navigate life's challenges together. To learn more, visit https://coupletherapy.earth/ or https://findyourmatch.academy/ Takeaways It's important to evaluate and make changes in relationships as the new year approaches. Recognizing personal overwhelm is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Partners can help each other identify stress signals and provide support. Having a hierarchy of priorities can help manage stress effectively. Positive presumption of intent can diffuse tension in relationships. Communication about needs is essential for resource management. Self-awareness is key to preventing overwhelm and burnout. Taking time for self-care can improve relationship dynamics. It's important to teach partners about individual needs and stress responses. Mutual support and understanding can strengthen relationships. Chapters 00:00 Navigating the New Year Together 04:00 Recognizing Overwhelm and Stress 08:34 The Importance of Resource Management 13:04 Partner Support and Communication 17:17 Building a Foundation of Trust and Understanding 21:59 Resourcing Each Other in Relationships 30:22 The Importance of Self-Responsibility and Teaching Needs 34:15 Implementing New Habits for Relationship Growth

    35 min

  4. 27/11/2025

    The Daily Habits of Thriving Relationships

    Even the strongest couples miss each other sometimes. A glance goes unnoticed, a comment gets brushed off, or one partner pulls away just when the other needs closeness. These are the moments where relationships either disconnect — or grow stronger. In this episode, we talk about bids for connection: the small signals we send every day asking for attention, affection, or understanding. You’ll learn how to spot these bids, what happens when they’re missed, and how repair builds trust and emotional safety. Because thriving couples don’t get it right all the time — they just know how to find their way back. For more, visit the couples therapy website and the online program.

    28 min

  5. 13/11/2025

    Why Some Couples Struggle — and Others Thrive

    Why do some couples seem to grow closer over time while others drift apart? In this episode, we explore the small, often unnoticed moments that make or break a relationship — the bids for connection. Every time you reach out — with a glance, a question, a joke, or a touch — you’re offering a bid. Thriving couples recognise these bids and turn toward them; struggling couples miss or dismiss them. We’ll unpack why these micro-moments matter so much, how to spot them, and what happens when they’re ignored. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting out, this episode will help you see love not as grand gestures but as the tiny daily choices that keep your bond alive. To learn more, visit my couples therapy website and the new online program

    28 min

  6. 05/11/2025

    Relating vs. Being Right — Understanding Their Map

    Why do so many conversations with people we care about spiral into arguments? Often it’s because we’re focused on being right instead of relating. In this episode of Couples in Focus, I unpack the difference between proving your point and stepping into someone else’s “map” — their inner world of experiences, feelings, and beliefs. You’ll hear real-life examples of how shifting from defensiveness to curiosity can transform conflicts into moments of connection, whether with a partner, friend, coworker, or family member. We’ll explore why relating builds trust and emotional safety, and I’ll share practical tools you can use to pause, listen, and connect without losing yourself in the process. For more on relationships and therapy, visit coupletherapy.earth.

    19 min

  7. 30/10/2025

    The Curiosity Factor in Communication

    Summary In this conversation, Michael Preston discusses the importance of giving partners the benefit of the doubt in relationships. He emphasises how this shift in perspective can transform negative interactions into positive ones by fostering curiosity and understanding. Instead of reacting defensively to perceived slights, partners can approach each other with empathy and a desire to understand the other's experiences, leading to healthier communication and conflict resolution. Takeaways Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt can change dynamics. Curiosity can replace defensiveness in relationships. Understanding your partner's day can foster empathy. Transforming negative cycles into positive interactions is crucial. Effective communication is rooted in emotional intelligence. Empathy leads to better conflict resolution. Positive interactions can enhance personal growth. Relationships thrive on understanding and curiosity. Recognising triggers can help manage responses. Healthy partnerships require ongoing effort and understanding. Learn more by visiting my websites and the new online program.

    26 min

  8. 29/10/2025

    Why Modern Mental Health Gets It Wrong — And How to Find Our Way Back

    Modern mental health often promises quick fixes — usually in the form of medication. While antidepressants can help, they rarely touch the deeper roots of why so many of us are struggling. In this episode of Couples in Focus, I take a step back and ask: what if the crisis isn’t just chemical, but human? We’ll explore the four foundations of good mental health — nature, movement, social connection & meaning, and touch — and how losing these has left us unbalanced. I’ll also share the metaphor of the inner compass, showing how our thoughts, emotions, and body sensations can guide us back when we feel lost. If you’re tired of surface-level solutions and want to reconnect with the deeper foundations of well-being, this episode is for you. Learn more at coupletherapy.earth.

    28 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.9
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Couples in Focus is a podcast for anyone wanting to improve their relationships. Hosted by Thomas and Michael, two relationship therapists from https://coupletherapy.earth/ and thesecurecouple.com, it offers expert insights, real-world advice, and answers to audience questions. They cover communication, intimacy, trust, and conflict, providing actionable tools and compassionate guidance. Each episode explores relatable challenges and offers practical strategies to help couples strengthen their connection and thrive in their relationships.

Information

  • Creator
    Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    29
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston
  • Show Website
    couples in focus

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