First Dates & Soulmates: A Romance Podcast

Meg Casebolt & Nikki McKnight

First Dates & Soulmates is a romance podcast where craft meets culture, hosted by romance author Meg Casebolt and pop culture devotee Nikki McKnight. Expect trope frameworks, feminist film critiques, author interviews, and sometimes ridiculous readalongs.

  1. 6 hr ago

    We're Taking a Hiatus: Here's What's Coming This Fall

    Nikki's got a cool work opportunity that means she's stepping away from recording for a bit — so we're taking a short hiatus and re-releasing some of our favorite episodes in the meantime (all labeled, so you know what's a rerun). While we're off, I'll be writing Elijah's book, spending time with family, and doing some behind-the-scenes upgrades — including moving fully off Substack. If you followed us there, make sure you're subscribed on Apple Podcasts or Spotify so you don't miss anything. All our show notes, frameworks, and book recs now live at firstdatesandsoulmates.com. We're also close to a big YouTube milestone — if you've got a second, hit subscribe at Youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates. It genuinely helps, even if you mostly listen elsewhere. Miss us already? Check out: 🎙️ Would Recommend — Nikki's podcast on customer experience 🎙️ Aggressively Human — Meg's podcast on keeping business human in the age of AI 👯 Nikki as a guest on Meg's podcast talking customer service in the age of AI See you in the fall. 💛

  2. 4 days ago

    Cozy Romance: Healing, Hand-Holding, and Magic Coffee Cups

    This week Nikki and Meg are joined by Megan Eckman, author of PDX Spellbound, to talk about the genre that promises exactly one thing: it's gonna be okay. Cozy romance isn't about the absence of conflict — it's about the absence of catastrophe. No mafia basements. No miscommunication tropes. No throwing your therapist for a loop. Just adults, having adult conversations, in a world where the worst thing that happens is a bakery running out of cinnamon rolls. Listen in for: What actually defines cozy romance — and why it's not the same thing as low heat or closed doorThe real difference between cozy and slow burn (hint: it's pace, not tension)Why "healing" might be the most important word in this entire genre — for the characters and for the readerA deep dive into cozy fantasy: Sabrina the Teenage Witch, That's So Raven, and Howl's Moving Castle as the blueprintWhether cozy romance can exist in a big city (yes — otaku office workers and a cat café in Montreal say hello)A very funny detour into K-dramas, J-dramas, and the six-episode hand-holdMegan's real-life "I love you" letter and the mailbox panic attack that followed The Framework, In Short: cozy romance is defined less by what's absent (violence, high stakes, explicit heat) and more by what's present — hope, kindness, and communities that catch people instead of testing them. The pace is slow, but that's not the same as slow burn: slow burn runs on simmering tension that eventually ignites, while cozy runs on the absence of tension doing the narrative work instead. And underneath the cinnamon buns and magic coffee cups, the genre's real throughline is healing — not just for the characters, but for the reader borrowing a couple hours inside a fundamentally safe world. https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/episode/cozy-romance/ Pull Quotes: Megan: "It's a book that when you enter it, even more than romance, the promise is like, it's gonna be okay, like times 10."Meg: "Some people went dark and weird, and some people went cozy... the dark weird folks were like, I want to escape into a world that's worse than mine so that at least I'm not living in a mafia basement."Megan: "It is slow burn, but in a different way... it's almost more just slow pace."Nikki: "The lack of that momentum is actually what creates the momentum... it's a little bit antithetical to how plot movements work."Nikki: "I think it's interesting that you use the word healing, because it's not one that I associated with cozy... but I like the word healing in this because I think it's also healing something in the reader — not just for the characters."Megan: "The magic exists, the world is still a happier place, and magic is simply used to solve everyday problems... it's what are the ways that we would have used that ability to make our lives a little bit better."Meg: "That's what I actually want my life to be. I want my life to be cozy... having that in book form feels safer."Megan: "I think I like seeing my sort of romantic relationships reflected back at me."Nikki: "The pace of the story is slow, and that actually does a lot for my anxiety... it's the rest for my brain."Books & Media We Mention: Love is Hard for OtakuAgnes Obel's Mystical Cat ShelterLore OlympusHowl's Moving Castle (book and film)Sabrina the Teenage Witch (the Melissa Joan Hart one)That's So RavenAn Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder by K. ValentineAssistant to the VillainThe Duchess War by Courtney Milan (Meg's ship)Dynamite Kiss (Megan's ship)Game Changer, Season 8 (Dropout) (Nikki's ship)Keith Plays a Porn Game in Heaven (Try TV) (Nikki's ship) About Our Guest Megan Eckman (she/her) grew up on fantasy books, 90s rom-coms, and BBC sitcoms in equal measure. She's been writing silly, magical stories since college. PDX Spellbound, her monthly rom-com series, is her love letter to Portland's weird, wonderful energy. She lives in Vancouver, WA — just across the river from Portland — with her husband and one very opinionated tricolor cat (the inspiration for her very opinionated magical cats). Get a free month of PDX Spellbound: https://pdxspellbound.com/

  3. 22 Jul

    The Anti-Dating App: Texting Dead People Edition

    Somewhere between You’ve Got Mail and a phone plan you forgot to cancel, a whole subgenre of rom-coms decided that the sexiest thing you can do is fall for someone’s grief-texts before you know their face, their name, or the fact that you have no business reading their voicemails. Nikki and Meg dig into Voicemails for Isabelle and its 2023 cousin Love Again — two films built on the same bones: someone’s dead loved one’s number gets reassigned, a total stranger becomes an accidental witness to someone else’s rawest, most unguarded grief, and instead of doing the normal human thing (saying “wrong number, so sorry for your loss”), they just... keep listening. Nikki and Meg discuss: The “anti-dating app” premise — no photo, no bio, no strategically fished fish pic, just someone’s unfiltered interior life, and why that’s simultaneously the most romantic and most deeply unhinged foundation a relationship can be built onWhy staying silent is the real betrayal here — not the wrong number, not the listening, but the choosing not to say anything while your crush becomes increasingly based on surveillanceThe redemption math: what actually has to happen for “I’ve been secretly listening to your dead sister’s voicemails for weeks” to be forgivable, and why both movies kind of chicken out on making their heroes grovel enough for itSister acts, San Francisco food trucks, and why Wes might be the blandest man to ever accidentally fall in love with someone’s griefA grand unified theory of the wrong-number romance, tracing the DNA back through You’ve Got Mail, P.S. I Love You, and a stack of “we’ve been texting and I don’t know it’s actually you” books If you’ve ever wanted to yell “just tell her!” at your television, this is the episode for you. "The core romantic fantasy of this is you fall for the person before you even see their face — you're falling in love with the inner person, the unguarded you, the one that comes out when no one else is watching." — Nikki"I witness your mess, and it doesn't turn me away." — Meg"If you're worried about losing them when you tell them the truth, you've got bigger issues, my dude." — NikkiMedia MentionedFilms Voicemails for Isabelle (Netflix) — Zoey Deutch, Nick RobinsonLove Again (2023) — Priyanka Chopra, Sam Heughan; remake of a German film based on a novel by Sophie KramerSet It Up — Zoey Deutch, Glen Powell (referenced as an earlier FDSM episode)You’ve Got MailP.S. I Love YouPractical Magic (+ upcoming Practical Magic 2) Books Top Secret by Sarina Bowen & Elle KennedySpoiler Alert by Olivia DadeQueer Ways to Fall in Love series by Jax CaldnerP.S. I Hate You by Lauren Connelly This week’s ships: Top Secret by Sarina Bowen & Elle KennedyMac’s Horribly Hellacious Ghost Town by AJ Sherwood (final book in the Mac’s Marvelous Manifestation series)First book in series: Brandon’s Very Merry Haunted ChristmasFull series reading order

  4. 15 Jul

    Grumpy x Sunshine: This Trope Is About Masks, Not Moods

    The Grump isn’t just the villain and the Sunshine isn’t just a naive ingenue. Nikki and Meg finally tackle the grumpy sunshine archetype after 115 episodes of somehow avoiding it, breaking down why it works, where it curdles into “just an a*****e,” and why the small crack in the armour and shy smile is worth the whole build up. Listen in for: Why “opposites attract” is too broad a label, and what actually separates grumpy sunshine from its cousins in the family tree (black cat/golden retriever gets its own dissection)The hard line between grumpy and cruel, and why a grump who punishes people for existing isn’t playing this trope anymoreFandom’s fingerprints all over this one, from Geralt and Jaskier to Bones and Kirk to a Zootopia fic (?) Nikki wishes she’d never gone looking forHow the dynamic shifts (or stubbornly doesn’t) when the pairing goes queer, and the body-type stereotypes still doing a lot of quiet work underneath it Books & Media Mentioned: The Hating Game by Sally Thorne It Happened One Summer A Deal with the Devil by Elizabeth Rourke The Geek Who Saved Christmas by Annabeth Albert Fae Quinn’s Christmas Daddy series Peppermint Bark No Bite by Bailey Seaborn What we’re shipping: The Governess Affair by Courtney Milan (start of the Brothers Sinister series) Magpie by Lucy Lennox

  5. 8 Jul

    Grease vs. Annie Hall: Fantasy vs. Reality in 1970s Rom Coms

    The 1970s gave us Star Wars, Watergate, the sexual revolution, and what critics apparently decided to call romantic comedies. Nikki and Meg are back with the next chapter of Rom-Coms Through the Ages, and this week’s entries are Grease (1978) and Annie Hall (1977). Nikki and Meg discuss: * Why Grease is ‘50s nostalgia dipped in ‘70s cynicism and how the candy colours and hand jive are doing a lot of heavy lifting over some genuinely dark material lurking underneath * The Woody Allen of it all: how Annie Hall uses genuinely innovative filmmaking techniques (fourth-wall breaks, non-linear narrative, walk-and-talks) to dress up a script that is, and we quote, “a complete self-indulgent, navel-gazing piece of shit” * The Pygmalion problem that connects Grease, Annie Hall, and My Fair Lady and why all three films named after women are actually about what men want those women to become * Why Rizzo is the character Meg wanted to be at 14 and the character she actually is at 40-something (and why Sandy’s whole arc hits differently in retrospect) If you’ve ever wondered why your favourite ‘90s rom-com feels so warm and alive by comparison, this episode is the origin story. Books We Mention: * Shadows Never Lie & Shadows Never Leave by Lark Taylor * The Prince and the Player (The Prince Pact, Book 1) by Nora Phoenix How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative

  6. 1 Jul

    Beyond Heated Rivalry: What to Read Next Based On Your Favorite Tropes (Not Just Hockey Romance)

    If you’re into your 100th reheat of Heated Rivalry and you’re looking for your next favourite, Nikki and Meg have you. This week they’re breaking down what actually makes the Game Changers series work and the emotional formula underneath the fandom. What they get into: * The “soft, squishy boy hiding behind a stoic f*****y facade” formula and where else you’ll find it in the wild * Secret relationship pressure cookers from competing NHL teams to the president’s Secret Service detail (yes, really) * The rivals-not-enemies dynamic that hits differently than enemies to lovers * The long-distance logistics that make every reunion explosive The formula is rivals plus yearning plus impossible logistics plus one person who has no idea how to say the thing out loud. Meg and Nikki have a reading list for every single piece of it. Books We Recommend: Game Changers series (Heated Rivalry) by Rachel Reid Him / Us by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy Puckboys series by Eden Finley and Saxon James Zero Hour series by Amy Nicole Walker Love Logic series by K.M. Neuhold Bedside Manner series by C.G. Macington Dear Plant Daddy by Shenee Howard The Worst Best Man by Kate Canterbury Diving in Deep by K.A. Mitchell Gravity by Tal Bauer Secret Service by Tal Bauer Saddles to Sunup by Emmy Sanders Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston PS I hate you by Lauren Connelly Mistakes were made by Meryl Pilsner Rookie Move by Sarina Bowen How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative Get a paid subscription on Substack for one month or for many months! Get full access to First Dates & Soulmates: Romance Podcast at firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe

  7. 24 Jun

    Asexual Romance Proves Romance Isn’t Only About Sex

    Pride Month isn’t over yet, and Nikki and Meg are closing it out with the corner of the rainbow nobody’s putting on a deep dive: asexual romance. The A doesn’t stand for ally, y’all; it stands for a whole spectrum of stories where the spice dial gets turned down and the intimacy dial gets cranked all the way up. Listen in for: * What actually fills the space in a romance when sex isn’t the payoff, and why the genre’s deep interiority makes ace stories hit so hard * The “problem to be solved” trope they’re both done with, and what separates a great ace romance from a lazy one * Why ace and aspec characters stay nearly invisible in mainstream media, and what that did to a whole generation figuring themselves out * Nikki gets real about identifying as ace, dating in a small town, and why these books feel like a promise that it’s possible The queer love continues on this show forever and ever; Pride Month just gave it a spotlight. Press play, then come tell them how you read romance. Our Ace/Aspec Recommendations: * Upside Down by NR Walker * His Quiet Agent by Ada Maria Soto * Oceans That Swim by Casey Cox * Inevitable by Briar Prescott * Unconventional Hearts by Emmy Sanders * Squared Away by Annabeth Albert * Cupid Calling by Viano Oniomoh * The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun * Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall * Something Extraordinary by Alexis Hall * Finding You by E.M. Lindsey * Here We Go Again by Alison Cochrun * Role Playing by Cathy Yardley * That Kind Of Guy by Talia Hibbert * The Mistletoe Motive by Chloe Liese * Our Bloody Pearl by D. N. Bryn * The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz * Set the Record Straight by Hannah Bonam-Young Other Mentions: Sex Lives of Superheroes by Diana McCallum The Greening of Thaddeus Grey by Jay Hogan

  8. 17 Jun

    Bottoms & Fire Island: This Is What Queer Romance Gets to Be Now

    It’s Pride Month, and Nikki and Meg are spending it with a lesbian fight club and a bunch of gays on vacation. This week’s episode is a double feature: Bottoms (2023) and Fire Island (2022), two queer comedies with 98% and 94% on Rotten Tomatoes respectively that somehow flew under the radar until now. Both films skip the coming-out arc entirely. Both are messy, funny, and a little absurd. And both have something genuinely sharp to say about class, hierarchy, and what queer stories are actually allowed to be. Nikki and Meg dig into: * Why starting with “we’re already gay” changes everything about how these films work, and what it means that queer identity isn’t the transformation arc * How both films use social hierarchy (popular cheerleaders, wealthy gay lawyers, and Nicholas Galitzine acting like a “whiny, whiny bitch” on crutches) to ask the same question Pride and Prejudice was asking in Regency England * The Bottoms subversion: what happens when you take Fight Club, swap in lesbians, and accidentally build a feminist empowerment movement you didn’t mean to start * Fire Island as a queer Pride and Prejudice retelling that earns its happy-for-now ending precisely because it refuses the heteronormative template for what a romantic ending has to look like Books & Media We Mention: Bottoms (2023), dir. Emma Seligman, written by Rachel Sennott and Emma Seligman Fire Island (2022), dir. Andrew Ahn, written by Joel Kim Booster Would Recommend: Real Stories From Businesses Worth Talking About, hosted by Nikki McKnight https://theopshop.biz/wouldrecommend What' We’re Shipping This Week: * When You Least Expect It by Haley Cass * The Beast Who Bought Me by Leighton Green, Clemenza Family Series Book 1 How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative Get a paid subscription on Substack for one month or for many months! Get full access to First Dates & Soulmates: Romance Podcast at firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe

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First Dates & Soulmates is a romance podcast where craft meets culture, hosted by romance author Meg Casebolt and pop culture devotee Nikki McKnight. Expect trope frameworks, feminist film critiques, author interviews, and sometimes ridiculous readalongs.

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