19 episodes

Come help us build the world's first football theme park, Footballland!
Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given 1 Billion US Dollars by the state of Qatar, to build the world's first football theme park in Qatar, to be ready in time for World Cup 2022. Unfortunately, Anthony has never built a theme park before, so he's enlisted the help of his friend and colleague Mark Davison. Unfortunately, Mark Davison has no experience of building theme parks either, but it's too late to give the money back now, as they've spent some of it already on a new laptop and a really nice pen.
Every week Anthony and Mark will plan out their football theme park and take ideas and ride designs from special guests including comedians, footballers, musicans and journalists, none of whom have any experience building theme parks.
Come join us at Footballland! "Our Goal Is Your Dreams!" "Where Dreams Are Kicked About!" "Come In And Kick The Magic!" "The Beautiful Game (Park)!" "Come Score Some Pleasure!"
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Footballlan‪d‬ Anthony Richardson, Mark Davison, Ryan Baxter

    • Comedy
    • 5.0 • 13 Ratings

Come help us build the world's first football theme park, Footballland!
Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given 1 Billion US Dollars by the state of Qatar, to build the world's first football theme park in Qatar, to be ready in time for World Cup 2022. Unfortunately, Anthony has never built a theme park before, so he's enlisted the help of his friend and colleague Mark Davison. Unfortunately, Mark Davison has no experience of building theme parks either, but it's too late to give the money back now, as they've spent some of it already on a new laptop and a really nice pen.
Every week Anthony and Mark will plan out their football theme park and take ideas and ride designs from special guests including comedians, footballers, musicans and journalists, none of whom have any experience building theme parks.
Come join us at Footballland! "Our Goal Is Your Dreams!" "Where Dreams Are Kicked About!" "Come In And Kick The Magic!" "The Beautiful Game (Park)!" "Come Score Some Pleasure!"
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    The Arsenal Way | Footballland Ep 18

    The Arsenal Way | Footballland Ep 18

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
    Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
    Listeners to Footballland have rightly asked us - "Why isn't there a ride at your theme park that celebrates the ridiculousness of Arsenal Football Club?" It's a question we've been pondering ourselves, so we duly invited Arsenal Twitter scholar Laura Kirk to come up with a solution. 
    Laura sealed herself in the Wayne Lineker Fibreglass Testicle for a full 35 minutes before emerging (like a weird butterfly) with The Arsenal Way, a gauntlet run featuring all the manners in which her beloved Gooners have self-destructed in the last 20 years. We think it's a hit, and we hope you enjoy riding it. 
    PLUS, this week:
    - Patreon Nick Dunmore writes 3 words - 'Downsize Fitz Hall,' in the shortest ride idea yet. 
    - Mark reveals his work in progress "The Ali Dia Waltzers"
    - And there's a problem with our existing ride, "Lee Cattermole's Petting Zoo."
    Footballland Explained:
    Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.
    All the best 
    Anthony Richardson, CEO of Footballland 
    Mark Davison, Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer
    Ryan Baxter, Intern.
    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

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    • 28 min
    Roman Abramovich's Runaway Mine Train | Footballland Ep 17

    Roman Abramovich's Runaway Mine Train | Footballland Ep 17

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
    Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
    It's been another hugely successful meeting at Footballland HQ.
    After a record TWO whole weeks spent in the Wayne Lineker Fibreglass Testicle Green Room, Larry & Paul emerge to pitch their second ride for Footballland - It Doesn't Actually Really Matter That Much: The Ride. This meeting was a tense one - Mark and Anthony, and Larry and Paul clearly hate each other. But they had this meeting in the interests of Footballland, and the interests of business. And we feel that Footballland has been the winner.
    Also, the boys are proud to unveil THREE NEW EXPERIENCES:
    - Roman Abramovich's Runaway Mine Train
    - Why Is No One Talking?
    - Patreon James Worley's Gary Mabbutt's Queen's Nose.
    But some sad news, as intern Ryan has identified a problem with Tom Deacon's England House of National Horrors
    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

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    • 40 min
    The Important Planning The Park Episode | Ep 16

    The Important Planning The Park Episode | Ep 16

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
    Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
    "I think many guests would love to hear Neymar reading A Brief History of Time by Professor Stephen Hawking."
    It's been yet another hugely successful meeting at Footballland HQ. 
    We now have over 30 (THIRTY) rides, experiences and attractions, and it's now time to start thinking of the all-important part: where they actually go in the park itself. 
    In this meeting the boys plan the park's zones, or 'areas' - 6 different regions of Footballland, titled UEFA-Land, ConMeBol Close, ConCaCaCaCaCaf Cul-de-Sac, Oceania Archipelago, Place de Caf and AsiaTown. Each region will have a giant statue of the person that represents their region the best. But which 6 statues will be chosen?
    For all you theme park aficianados out there interested in the behind the scenes, this is the podcast to listen to. This is exactly how they plan your Disneys, your Thorpe Parks and your Alton Towers of this world. 
    A must listen for students and the curious. 
    Please note there is no guest this week, for two reasons:
    a) Larry and Paul are still in the fibreglass testicle green room. 
    b) This meeting is too important for guests, if anything. 
    Footballland Explained:
    Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.
    All the best 
    Anthony Richardson, CEO of Footballland 
    Mark Davison, Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer
    Ryan Baxter, Intern.
    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 25 min
    The Elland Roadacoaster | Footballland Ep 15

    The Elland Roadacoaster | Footballland Ep 15

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
    Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
    "Willian gave me a hug once, and it was lovely."
    It was another very successful meeting in the world of Footballland. We are proud to announce FIVE new rides:
    - Special guests, comedy double act Larry & Paul, pitched the Elland Roadacoaster, in which guests can experience exactly what it's like to be a Leeds United fan. Quite a violent ride, even by Footballland standards, this coaster claims to be the longest in the world, lasting 15 years and 2 1/2 minutes. 
    - Our patrons Richard Beecham and Dan Rennie pitch The Grimsby Town Waterslide, charting the club's precipice-like downfall in the mid noughties. 
    - Our patron Phil Lee brings us 'A Cup of Caribou,' a children's ride designed to improve the image of the Carabao Cup. 
    - Mark unveils his new creation, Mourinho Laundrinho, the world's first wicker basket rollercoaster. 
    - And Anthony proposes a new way of ferrying guests around the park, with his fleet of Holding Midfielders. 
    But sad news, as Ryan our intern has found a problem with Footballland's stadium, The Squeaky Bumtime Arena. 
    We hope you enjoy this episode, and please don't stop sending us your ideas. 
    Footballland Explained:
    Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.
    All the best 
    Anthony Richardson, CEO of Footballland 
    Mark Davison, Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer
    Ryan Baxter, Intern.
    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 38 min
    Roy Keane's 'Stick It Up Your B*llocks' Dodgems | Footballland Episode 14

    Roy Keane's 'Stick It Up Your B*llocks' Dodgems | Footballland Episode 14

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
    Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
    "Not sure we need the pit crew anymore."
    The bees are buzzing, the birds are singing, and Roy Keane is on his way to Footballland, taking charge of his very own theme park attraction, Roy Keane's 'Stick It Up Your B*llocks' Dodgems!
    Jim Daly, comedian and host of FYP Podcast came up with the idea, and it's now our job to convince Keano to come out to Qatar and tell all the Footballland guests that their driving is sh*te. 
    PLUS:

    Anthony announces a long-awaited ride for the children, 'Jurgen Klopp's Clip Clop Trots' Supporter 'Entertainer' pitches a Newcastle United themed rollercoaster.But bad news, as Ryan finds a problem with Patron Matt Whitworth's Nigel De Jong's Clog Flume. 
    Warning, due to the effects of Roy Keane, the final section of this episode contains some strong language. Mostly f*ck. 

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 39 min
    The England National House of Horrors | Footballland Ep 13

    The England National House of Horrors | Footballland Ep 13

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
    Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
    "I'm two years old. I don't think it's very nice to see your own fans booing you. I don't think it's very nice at all."
    We are delighted to unveil Meeting 13 of Footballland, featuring comedian and presenter Tom Deacon's addition to the park - The England National House of Horrors.
    In this terrifying experience, guests will walk through a series of shameful rooms, depicting The Three Lions' mostly dismal displays on the international stage over the last 70 years. 
    PLUS:
    - Anthony pitches Alan Hansen's Lost Childhood Youth Team Tournament.
    - Mark unveils Luis Suarez's Pacman Maze 
    - Patron Chris Pinguin sends in a jingle 
    - And an exciting marketing opportunity: Durex have got in touch and want a ride that's 'sexy but safe.'
    Keep your ideas coming - we'll discuss them all in upcoming meetings.
    Footballland Explained:
    Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.
    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.

    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    • 39 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
13 Ratings

13 Ratings

Timmyman111 ,

Can not wait to visit

Great podcast and even only 3 episodes in I cannot wait to visit footballland.... definitely getting a fast track wristband and going to ride the Steve (mechanical) Bull until I get my signed pic! Let’s hope the grand plans don’t get caught up in a load of red tape.

phlipper27 ,

The Best Podcast About A Football Theme Park Out There

This is hands down the best podcast about a football themed theme park in 2020. Replying to a previous reviewer, you can clearly hear that these guys are wearing poppies.

Bob00849920 ,

A good show but where are the poppies??

I’m very excited about footballand / football land, I just hope there is a commemorative ride to celebrate the poppies as we near the remembrance celebration month.

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