13 episodes

“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.

Goodbye to All This BBC World Service

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.7 • 189 Ratings

“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.

    12. Moving

    12. Moving

    He’s still here all the time. Yet he’s not. And a diary has more in it than expected.
    “I’ll feel his absence every day, like a bruise that’s tender to the touch.”
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 32 min
    11. The shoe

    11. The shoe

    “She hates me going into her room”. A pink, strappy, high-heeled shoe causes a big row. The girls are growing up – fast. And now Sophie is crying over a shoe.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 19 min
    10. Appointment

    10. Appointment

    The washing machine breaks. The bills are mounting. Sophie almost electrocutes herself. And just as it couldn’t get any worse, it’s raining and there’s nowhere for the delivery men to park. Now she is going to be late for her appointment.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 24 min
    9. Something new

    9. Something new

    “You’ll never find anyone if you’re not online.” Sophie is ready to start dating again but finds it’s done differently now. She meets a man who likes her shoes.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 29 min
    8. Going under

    8. Going under

    “Mama, I can’t get to you!” There’s unexpected danger on a holiday, when the family is swept out to sea in Byron Bay, Australia.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 31 min
    7. Port in the storm

    7. Port in the storm

    “His death is nothing like the worst thing. The worst thing is now.” Sophie is struggling after Russell’s death. Everyone is trying to help, but is saying the wrong thing – except one person, who knows what it’s like because his wife has died.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 25 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
189 Ratings

189 Ratings

Julie-Henrietta ,

This has helped me through my grief

I was researching cancer and grieving for my mum and brother when I found this Podcast.

I was hooked after listening to episode 1.

I realised that everything Sophie was feeling was similar to my grief.

I listened for two days, on the way to work, cooking, in bed and folding the laundry.
I learned and I cried and felt Sophie’s pain as my own.

And the funny moments were oh so familiar too.

Thank you Sophie - I don’t feel so alone in my sorrow now x

MollyJessicaAnn ,

Beautiful

Incredibly beautiful and heartbreaking. I've never felt so inside of something I've never actually experiened. Very difficult to listen to at times but worth it.

Smudge1977 ,

Heartbreaking and beautiful

Wow! What a pod cast. I cried every episode. As an oncology nurse I thought I knew quite a bit about death, dying and bereavement, well it turns out I didn’t snd still don’t. Thank you Sophie for your honest and heartbreaking account of the diagnosis, treatment and ultimate death of your beloved husband Russell, also the story of the devastation left by his death. I wish you, Bear and Poppy the happiest of futures. I will never forget you and your story. Look after yourselves and each other xxx

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