The Voyage Cast: Real Talk on Marriage, Mental Health, & Emotional Growth

Eddie Eccker
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When life needs more than a session, we’re here to help beyond the office.Welcome to The Voyage Cast, a podcast for anyone seeking real guidance in relationships, emotional health, personal growth, and mental health news. Hosted by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Eddie Eccker, this show offers therapy-informed insights for navigating the tough stuff like conflict, communication breakdowns, and disconnection in marriage or family life. 🎙️ Each episode covers topics like:     👉 Marriage repair and relationship tools     👉 Emotional intelligence and mental wellness     👉 Communication strategies that actually work     👉 Real-life stories and interviews about healing, change, and resilience      👉 Current news impacting & shaping our culture & the field of mental health  Whether you’re facing challenges in your relationship, trying to break unhealthy patterns, want a roadmap for deeper connection and lasting love, or you just want to know what's going on - The Voyage Cast helps you stay the course.🔔 Subscribe for weekly episodes and tools that go beyond the office. 🌐 Learn more at: https://www.voyagescounseling.com/ or https://www.eddieeccker.com/

  1. 2 hr ago

    Porn Is a Monkey's Paw (A Halloween Episode)

    Send us Fan Mail A ghost story from 1902 is a great description for what pornography does to a man. This Halloween episode reads you the ending of The Monkey's Paw, then uses it to explain why porn is so hard to quit: it pays, the cost comes from a direction you aren't watching, and every fix you try while still holding it makes it worse. This one is for the man who has tried to quit porn more times than he can count, the wife or girlfriend who found it and can't understand why he won't just stop, and the friend who is about to get a phone call. In this episode: The reading. The last third of W. W. Jacobs' The Monkey's Paw, the way it was written. The bargain. Three things in the story that explain the struggle: the paw pays, the cost arrives sideways, and the second wish makes it worse. What the research actually says, including the parts that don't help my case. The 50-study review on porn and relationship satisfaction. Why the effect is small on average and why that doesn't mean what people think. The study that found viewing alone, not viewing, is where the damage is. Starting porn and divorce. Whether it's an addiction (the DSM says no, the WHO says sort of). The MRI study. Why "porn causes ED" is kind of a myth but does contain some real warnings. How men get out. The one treatment with a real trial behind it, what medication does and doesn't do, and the six things I tell the men I work with. For the wife. You are not the cause of this. You are a partner in the marriage. Both are true at the same time. A friend's story. James Michael told his wife. Then they went out for Chinese food. Not kid-friendly. Frank discussion of pornography. If you're in need of support, Voyages Counseling can help. New clients: (720) 729-7372. https://www.voyagescounseling.com THE STORY The Monkey's Paw, W. W. Jacobs (1902), full text: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/12122 MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE James Michael, "A History of Secrets: What It Takes to Tell the Truth," The Good Men Project: https://goodmenproject.com/arts/102137/?shem=aimgspe My article on Proverbs 7 and how affairs start, "I Never Thought I Would Be the One": https://www.eddieeccker.com/post/i-never-thought-i-would-be-the-one THE RESEARCH, IN THE ORDER I TALK ABOUT IT Wright, Tokunaga, Kraus and Klann (2017), Pornography consumption and satisfaction: a meta-analysis: https://academic.oup.com/hcr/article-abstract/43/3/315/4670699 Abdi et al. (2024), Effect of pornography use on sexual satisfaction: a meta-analysis: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39267458/ Maddox, Rhoades and Markman (2011), Viewing sexually explicit materials alone or together: https://www.doi.org/10.1007/S10508-009-9585-4 Perry and Schleifer, Till porn do us part? Pornography use and divorce (summary): https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/pr_am_2016_perry_news_release_final.pdf Grubbs et al. (2019), Self-reported addiction to pornography in a nationally representative sample: https://scholarworks.bgsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1052&context=psych_pub Briken et al. (2024), Assessment and treatment of compulsive sexual behavior disorder: https://academic.oup.com/smr/article/12/3/355/7634799 Voon et al. (2014), Neural correlates of sexual cue reactivity in compulsive sexual behaviour (summary): https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/07/140711153327.htm Jacobs et al. (2021), Online pornography and sexual dysfunction in young men: https://publichealth.jmir.org/2021/10/e32542 Malcolm and Naufal (2014), Are pornography and marriage substitutes for young men?: https://docs.iza.org/dp8679.pdf Crosby and Twohig (2016), Acceptance and commitment therapy for problematic internet pornography use (summary): https://cehhs.usu.edu/news/2016/pornography-treatment Psychotherapy for problematic pornography use: a comprehensive meta-analysis (2025): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40126561/ Savard et al. (2022), Naltrexone and paroxetine vs placebo for compulsive sexual behavior disorder: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9453901 Support the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

    Porn Is a Monkey's Paw (A Halloween Episode)

  2. 2 days ago

    The Princess Bride Part 2: “As You Wish,” Gottman’s Bids, and the Difference Between Doing and Answering

    Send us Fan Mail “As you wish.” Three words that sound like a servant talking to his boss, and Buttercup knew Westley by them the instant she heard them. Why did those words get through when the line about pain didn’t? In the second of six episodes of The Princess Bride, licensed marriage and family therapist Eddie Eccker returns to the farm, where a rude farm girl orders a farmhand around, and he answers the same way every time. The scene usually gets read as proof that love is action, not words. Eddie thinks that reading is wrong, and the real lesson is more useful. What’s in this episode: The pitcher she could have reached herself, and what John Gottman calls a bid  Turning toward, away, or against: what Gottman’s lab actually counted, and the 86 percent to 33 percent gap between couples who stayed married and couples who didn’t  Why the famous divorce prediction numbers deserve skepticism (Heyman and Slep, 2001)  Harry Reis on responsiveness, the feeling that your partner gets you  What the 2024 review of love languages found (Emily Impett, University of Toronto)  The bad version of “as you wish,” and why going quiet to keep the peace isn’t it  Two things to try this week: count your partner’s reaches for seven days, and make one bid plain For the listener who does everything and says nothing, and the one who says all the right things and can’t figure out why none of it lands. And for anyone who, like the grandson, didn’t sign up for the kissing parts. Next episode: Vizzini, his favorite word, and the mistake smart, careful people make about their spouses every day. Eddie Eccker, MS, LMFT, is co-owner of Voyages Counseling in Colorado and the author of You Are Not Finished (coming 2027) at eddieeccker.com and voyagescounseling.com. Sources: Gottman Institute, Turn Toward Instead of Away, on the 86 and 33 percent figuresHeyman, R. E., & Slep, A. M. S. (2001). The hazards of predicting divorce without cross-validation. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63(2), 473–479. Full textReis, H. T., Clark, M. S., & Holmes, J. G. (2004). Perceived partner responsiveness as an organizing construct in the study of intimacy and closeness. In D. J. Mashek & A. Aron (Eds.), Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy (pp. 201–225). Erlbaum.Impett, E. A., Park, H. G., & Muise, A. (2024). Popular psychology through a scientific lens: Evaluating love languages from a relationship science perspective. Current Directions in Psychological Science. Abstract | University of Toronto summarySupport the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

  3. 22 Oct

    The Princess Bride, Part 1: Life Is Pain | What to Accept and What to Fight

    Send us Fan Mail “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” It’s the most quoted line in The Princess Bride, and the man who says it is right about pain and wrong about the woman he loves. In the first of six episodes on The Princess Bride, licensed marriage and family therapist Eddie Eccker takes the hilltop scene apart. Westley, masked as the Dread Pirate Roberts, tells Buttercup that life is pain while believing a story about her that isn’t true. The episode is for anyone in a hard stretch who keeps thinking this shouldn’t be happening. What’s in this episode: Why valuing happiness too highly can make people less happy (Iris Mauss, UC Berkeley) Radical acceptance, where Marsha Linehan’s DBT skill came from, and how it gets misused The 2018 study that found accepting your feelings helped and accepting your situation didn’t (Brett Ford, University of Toronto) Cynicism as armor, and why Westley couldn’t tell his real injury from the story he built on it - A two-sentence practice for the next time you think this shouldn’t be happening Haven’t seen the movie? Watch it this week. The sword fight on the Cliffs of Insanity is one of the best in cinema, and the actors did it themselves. Sources and research notes:  Ford, B. Q., Lam, P., John, O. P., & Mauss, I. B. (2018). The psychological health benefits of accepting negative emotions and thoughts: Laboratory, diary, and longitudinal evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(6), 1075–1092. Abstract | Full textUniversity of Toronto summary of the Ford study: Don’t brood or wallow when feeling badMauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. Emotion, 11(4), 807–815. Full textLinehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. The radical acceptance skill is in the Distress Tolerance module.Eddie Eccker, MS, LMFT, is co-owner of Voyages Counseling in Colorado and the author of You Are Not Finished (Coming soon).  More at eddieeccker.com and voyagescounseling.com Support the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

  4. 21 Oct

    “Have You Ever Thought of Just Not Forgetting?” ADHD, Neurofeedback, and the Kid Who Left the Garage Door Open

    Send us Fan Mail As a kid, Eddie Eccker could not remember to close the garage door. His parents covered the house in sticky notes. His dad told him to get his head out of his ass. Nobody knew he had ADHD until college, and that is when he found neurofeedback. In this episode Eddie, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-owner of a neurofeedback practice, talks to parents of kids who forget, drift, and can't get started on the worksheet. He explains what was going on inside him that his parents couldn't see, why "try harder" gives a kid nothing to do, and why a diagnosis explains a kid without excusing him. Then he lays out what neurofeedback is, what the three strongest studies found (kids got better and were still better two years later), why researchers still argue about it, and his answer to the argument. He closes with three questions to ask any provider and how to know whether it is working for your kid. This episode covers: What undiagnosed ADHD looks like at home and in the classroomThe five different reasons a kid can't start his homeworkUnderstanding a kid without lowering the bar for himWhat neurofeedback is and what a session looks likeWhat the research shows, including the sham-controlled trialThree questions to ask a neurofeedback providerHow to measure whether it is workingResearch referenced: the NIMH-funded double-blind trial (Neurofeedback Collaborative Group, 2021, with its 2023 two-year follow-up), the German multicenter trial (Strehl and colleagues, 2017, with its 2019 follow-up), and the 2025 JAMA Psychiatry meta-analysis (Westwood and colleagues). Links below. Voyages Counseling offers neurofeedback in Colorado's south metro area. If you heard your kid in this episode, or heard yourself: https://www.voyagescounseling.com Chapters (approximate, 155 words per minute; adjust to the recording) 00:00 The garage door and the sticky notes 01:30 Who this episode is for, and where I'm coming from 02:30 What my parents couldn't see 05:00 What neurofeedback is 06:30 What the research found, and the argument about it 10:30 If you decide to try it 12:00 Close Research links for the notes Neurofeedback Collaborative Group, 2021, Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (the double-blind trial): https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2020.07.906Neurofeedback Collaborative Group, 2023, 25-month follow-up of the same trial: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2022.07.862Strehl and colleagues, 2017, Frontiers in Human Neuroscience (the German trial): https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/human-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00135/fullAggensteiner and colleagues, 2019, European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (six-month follow-up): https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-018-01271-8Westwood and colleagues, 2025, JAMA Psychiatry (meta-analysis of 38 trials): https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2827733Arns and colleagues, 2020, Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback (guideline review of standard protocols): https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10484-020-09455-2Support the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

  5. 16 Oct

    What Am I Actually For? Finding Purpose Living in Groundhog Day

    Send us Fan Mail What are you supposed to be doing on an ordinary Tuesday? Plenty of people can answer the big question of purpose. The harder one is the day to day: you get up, make coffee, go to work, come home tired, and wonder if the repetition means anything. In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Eddie Eccker brings Scripture and clinical research to that question. From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible tells the story of people made to be with God. Attachment research from John Bowlby and René Spitz, along with Thomas Joiner’s work on thwarted belongingness, shows how much we depend on each other. Eddie’s answer for daily purpose is to be connected and generative. Connected means actually known, seen and heard, by God first, and by the people you trust with the real you. Generative, a term from Erik Erikson, means bringing your best, to the degree you can, to the people around you. Little by little it grows you and plants seeds that God can grow in those who are willing. In this episode: Finding purpose in ordinary, repetitive daysIdentity and the cost of managing what people seeAttachment theory, loneliness, and belongingErik Erikson’s generativity and Dan McAdams’s redemption storiesWhat Groundhog Day shows about purposeRomans 12, worship, and the drummer boy’s offeringIf you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US). The Voyage Cast is hosted by Eddie Eccker, MS, LMFT, co-founder of Voyages Counseling in Colorado. [Add your site links] Support the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

  6. 13 Oct

    How Affairs Start: Why Good People Cheat and How to Protect Your Marriage

    Send us Fan Mail “I never thought I would be the one.” It is the sentence people say after an affair, and it points to why affairs happen to people who were sure they were safe. How do affairs start? Why do good people cheat, including people in happy marriages and committed Christians? In this episode of The Voyage Cast, Eddie Eccker, MS, LMFT, walks through Proverbs 7 as a three-thousand-year-old case study of infidelity and sets it beside what he sees in his counseling office and what the research on affairs shows. Most affairs do not begin with a stranger. They begin with a coworker, a friend, a neighbor, or someone from church. Eddie explains the four things a person is offered at the start of an affair (being chosen, a clear conscience, pleasure, and secrecy) and why the real decision gets made long before anyone thinks they are deciding. This episode covers: How affairs start, and why most begin as friendships or at workWhy good people cheat, even in happy marriagesWhat arousal and secrecy do to your judgmentWhy the people most confident in their self-control are at higher riskThe confusion after an affair: “What have I done?” and “Who am I now?”What an affair costs: your marriage, your family, your reputationHow to protect your marriage from infidelity before temptation shows upWhat Proverbs 7 and 1 Corinthians 10:12 say about temptationIf you are the spouse who was betrayed, parts of this episode may be hard to hear. An explanation is not the same thing as an excuse. Research referenced: Shirley Glass (Not “Just Friends”), Dan Ariely and George Loewenstein, Daniel Wegner, Helen Fisher, Loran Nordgren, and Leon Festinger. This episode is based on Eddie’s article “I Never Thought I Would Be the One.” Read it, with all the sources and Scripture references, on his website: https://www.eddieeccker.com/post/i-never-thought-i-would-be-the-one Topics discussed: how affairs start, why people cheat, infidelity, emotional affairs, workplace affairs, affair prevention, protecting your marriage, Christian marriage, temptation, Proverbs 7, marriage counseling. Support the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

  7. 23 Sept

    What do you do when someone is thinking about suicide?

    Send us Fan Mail What do you do when someone in your church tells you they’re thinking about suicide? For many people in crisis, the first person they tell isn’t a therapist. It’s a pastor, youth leader, small-group leader, friend, or someone else they trust in their church community. That puts churches on the front line of suicide prevention—often without much training for what to do next. In this episode of The Voyage Cast, Eddie Eccker, MS, LMFT, talks candidly about suicide, faith, mental health, and the role churches can play when someone is in serious emotional distress. The goal isn’t to turn pastors or church members into therapists. It’s to help them become a bridge to appropriate care. Eddie explains why suicidal despair can narrow a person’s thinking until death begins to feel like the only available exit, why directly asking someone about suicide matters, and what to do if they say yes. He also challenges a false choice that sometimes exists within Christian communities: faith or treatment. Prayer, Scripture, pastoral care, therapy, medication, crisis intervention, and community support do not have to compete with one another. They can work together. The church can also provide something a clinician often cannot: people who notice, bring meals, give rides, sit with someone through a terrible night, and continue showing up during the other 167 hours of the week. The episode also speaks directly to Christians experiencing suicidal thoughts themselves. Struggling this deeply does not mean you have failed spiritually or that God has abandoned you. Scripture itself contains people of profound faith who experienced extraordinary despair. If you remember nothing else, remember this: Ask. Stay. Connect. Keep showing up. If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is immediate danger, contact emergency services. This episode discusses suicide and suicidal thoughts. Please listen with appropriate care. Topics discussed: suicide prevention, Christian mental health, faith and therapy, pastors and suicide prevention, church mental health, suicidal thoughts, depression, crisis intervention, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, pastoral care, youth ministry, therapy, and mental health treatment. Support the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

  8. 23 Jul

    Grief Beyond the Five Stages: Relearning the World with Dr. Thomas Attig

    Send us Fan Mail Most of what we think we know about grief is wrong. The five stages. Closure. The push to let go and move on. Dr. Thomas Attig has spent nearly 50 years making the case for something better. Dr. Attig is an applied philosopher, emeritus professor at Bowling Green State University, and past president of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. His 1996 book How We Grieve: Relearning the World became a landmark in modern grief studies. His new collection from Oxford University Press, Seeking Wisdom in Death’s Shadows, gathers 50 years of his work in 23 essays. In this conversation, Eddie and Dr. Attig explore why the Kübler-Ross stages were built for dying, not grieving, and what actually happens when someone we love dies. They discuss grief as relearning how to live in a changed world, the ongoing love that continues after death, the self as a web of connections, and the crucial difference between reacting to loss and responding to it. Dr. Attig also draws a line between problems, which we can solve, and mysteries, which ask us to be transformed. This episode is for anyone grieving, anyone walking alongside someone who is, and every clinician who wants a deeper framework than the one taught in graduate school. Get the book: order Seeking Wisdom in Death’s Shadows directly from Oxford University Press and use promo code AUFLY30 for 30% off - also on Amazon. For additional resources and helpful information, go to voyagescounseling.com and eddieeccker.com Support the show What does it take to keep becoming? Eddie Eccker wrestles with that question on The Voyage Cast through interviews, topical discussions, and teachings on emotional health, marriage and family, faith, and the habits and stories that shape a life. Connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voyagescounselingco/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573649534384 X: https://twitter.com/thevoyagecast Website: https://thevoyagecast.com Eddie Eccker: https://www.eddieeccker.com Voyages Counseling: https://www.voyagescounseling.com

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When life needs more than a session, we’re here to help beyond the office.Welcome to The Voyage Cast, a podcast for anyone seeking real guidance in relationships, emotional health, personal growth, and mental health news. Hosted by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Eddie Eccker, this show offers therapy-informed insights for navigating the tough stuff like conflict, communication breakdowns, and disconnection in marriage or family life. 🎙️ Each episode covers topics like:     👉 Marriage repair and relationship tools     👉 Emotional intelligence and mental wellness     👉 Communication strategies that actually work     👉 Real-life stories and interviews about healing, change, and resilience      👉 Current news impacting & shaping our culture & the field of mental health  Whether you’re facing challenges in your relationship, trying to break unhealthy patterns, want a roadmap for deeper connection and lasting love, or you just want to know what's going on - The Voyage Cast helps you stay the course.🔔 Subscribe for weekly episodes and tools that go beyond the office. 🌐 Learn more at: https://www.voyagescounseling.com/ or https://www.eddieeccker.com/

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