Let Them Lead: The Child-Led Autism Podcast

Nicole Casey

Hosted by Nicole Casey, speech-language pathologist and founder of The Child-Led SLP, Let Them Lead is the go-to podcast for professionals and caregivers who want to support autistic kids with respect, trust, and connection. Each week, we explore child-led, neuroaffirming approaches to communication, play, and therapy—centered around the belief that autistic kids deserve communication partners who honor and support them holistically. Whether you're navigating gestalt language processing, AAC, sensory differences, or just want to break free from compliance-based systems, you're in the right place. You'll hear honest conversations, practical strategies, and plenty of real-life examples to help you unlearn old habits and confidently support the kids you love or work with. No behavior charts. No rigid protocols. Just curiosity, compassion, and the freedom to follow your autistic child's lead.

  1. 3 days ago

    54. Help Autistic Kids Share About Their Day (Without Drilling Wh-Questions)

    JOIN THE SUMMIT WAITLIST HERE GRAB THE HANDOUT FOR TODAY'S EPISODE LEARN MORE AND JOIN THE CHILD-LED COLLECTIVE SUMMARY A parent sits across from you and says, "I just want to be able to ask my child about his day and have him tell me about it." It is one of the most common requests we get, and it usually turns into a WH question goal that never quite goes anywhere. In this episode, Nicole shares the Personal Narrative Builder, the simple, flexible strategy she has used with nearly every student on her caseload to help kids relay real experiences to real people. She walks through where it came from, how it works step by step, and why it does a better job at the thing teams are actually asking for than drilling questions ever could. KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS (00:30) The request almost every one of us has gotten: "I just want him to tell me about his day" (04:49) Why this matters so much for families and for the child, including safety and connection (05:30) The traditional move: writing a WH question goal, and why Nicole is not a fan (06:57) The pilot question problem and what drilling WH questions actually teaches (09:09) Everything that looks like progress is not progress (11:21) Introducing the Personal Narrative Builder and what "personal narrative" really means here (13:13) Not a formal story retell. The foundational skill of relaying an experience (13:50) Why telling about your day is more complex than it sounds (recall, sequence, vocabulary, delivery) (15:35) Why Nicole starts with what is happening right now, in the moment (16:00) The student who started it all: a multimodal communicator who was not using verbs (20:50) The idea from a colleague, Miss Alyssa, that changed everything: use the visual schedule (23:00) Highlighting verbs on the schedule, then the word bank, then fading the support (28:00) Writing a session recap together and why letting kids watch us write matters (30:30) Handing the recap to the teacher: the moment it becomes real communication (31:57) The sentence frames: Today I ___, I was with ___, we ___, it was ___ (34:22) Why Nicole expanded this to her whole caseload and how targets shift per child (36:30) Communication for safety: kids being able to report if someone hurts them (37:00) Step 1: pick your sentence frames about something happening right now (38:12) Step 2: scaffold for the child (photos, icons, word banks, AAC modeling, past tense) (41:13) Every version is valid, from pointing at one picture to writing full sentences (42:30) Step 3: recap together at the end of the session (not a test, not a quiz) (43:27) Why this makes a child-led session so easy: the agenda lives in the last five minutes (45:51) Step 4: the child delivers the message to a real person and gets a real response (48:00) Taking it home: typing the recap as an email to mom, dad, or a sibling (48:57) Giving families a window and a better way in than "what did you do today?" (50:13) Real emails from real kids and why grammatically imperfect is completely fine (51:30) Communication going both ways: families sending photos and videos back (53:30) A Collective member's win: the child who would not put the paper in his backpack (57:06) Why this is a better path to the WH question skills teams ask for (59:10) Wrap-up, the resource inside The Child-Led Collective, and an invitation   RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED - The Child-Led Collective membership: childled.org/collective - The Personal Narrative Builder workbook and implementation video (inside The Collective) - The Child-Led Autism Summit (coming this August)   ABOUT NICOLE Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective, a membership community for SLPs, OTs, and special educators who want to practice with confidence using a child-led, neuroaffirming approach. She has spent more than 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and hosts the Let Them Lead podcast. Learn more at childled.org.

    57 min

  2. 16 Jun

    53. Why You Should Let Your Autistic Students Tell You What to Do

    Download the handout for this episode here! Join us inside The Child-Led Collective! childled.org/collective If you have been doing this work for a while and you are still mostly targeting requesting... I need you to hear this episode. Not because requesting is wrong. But because there is so much more your student could be doing, and one specific communication function might be the exact thing that shifts the dynamic in your sessions. This episode is about directing actions: what it is, why most of us skip it, and how to start building it in without overhauling your whole approach. This is Part 3 of the expanding communication functions series, and today we are talking about directing actions. Directing actions is when a child tells another person what to do, things like push me, open, stop, go, come here. It is different from requesting because the child is directing a person to do something, not asking for an object. Nicole shares why this communication function matters for autonomy, vocabulary growth, and real social back-and-forth, and why she spent way too many years ignoring it. She also walks through practical strategies for modeling in context, working with teams, and supporting both gestalt language processors and early communicators who use AAC.  What You'll Learn Why teaching only requesting can accidentally teach kids that communication is just a transaction for getting things What "directing actions" actually means, and how it is different from the requesting you are already targeting The moment Nicole realized she had been sitting across from kids and making them earn pretzels they both knew they wanted, over and over Why giving kids the words to direct other people is one of the most powerful autonomy moves you can make with autistic students The starter verbs that make this easier to teach (open, stop, go, push, jump, pour, spin) and why they work when more abstract verbs do not How to model directing actions without drilling, and why you should never make a child repeat what you just modeled to get the action What to do with the "verbs are too abstract for my kids" objection, and why it is less true than we think How to use playful sabotage (doing the wrong thing on purpose) to actually give kids a reason to direct you How to bring your para and team with you without making them feel like they are starting from scratch Why boundary-setting still applies: directing actions does not mean the child runs everything Your next steps: Join The Child-Led Collective at childled.org/collective Subscribe to Let Them Lead so you do not miss the next episode in this communication functions series Share this episode with a para or team member who works snack time, swing time, or any routine where directing actions could show up naturally

    52 min

  3. 9 Jun

    52. Deep Interests are NOT Distractions

    Download this episode's summary and action plan Learn more about The Child-Led Collective Nicole shares the real stories behind how she used to use kids' special interests as reinforcers (Harry Potter worksheets, co-opting a child's favorite songs) and the moment she realized kids were actually hiding their interests to protect them. She walks through what it looks like now when deep interests become the therapy itself, including a student whose love of Google Maps turned into sessions full of language, sequencing, and inside jokes. She also talks through what to do when a team or family worries that a deep interest is "too distracting," including a Hardest Case Roundtable example about a child fascinated by clocks and a family who removed every letter and number toy from their home on a previous therapist's advice.  KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS  [00:00] Welcome and intro: today's topic is special interests and deep interests [02:02] How most of us were trained: interests as "reinforcers," withhold and reward [04:28] The Harry Potter example: camouflaging worksheets with a child's interest [06:49] When kids see through it: "You're using my interests against me" [07:45] The student who loved music and stopped sharing his songs with the team [09:14] The coloring book analogy: what if someone used YOUR hobby as bribery? [11:34] A current student who loves maps and has an incredible sense of direction [13:42] What sessions look like now: Google Maps as the therapy itself [16:06] Why Nicole hears the most language and sees the most progress inside deep interests [17:50] The "there's you!" inside joke on Google Earth and what it reveals about connection [18:54] "What if that's ALL they want to do?" Addressing the tension honestly [20:41] When the interest won't fit (gym class, broken technology) and presuming competence [22:54] The slippery slope fear and why it doesn't hold up after 12 years of practice [25:15] Building variety within a single deep interest (crash pad example) [27:30] Hardest Case Roundtable coaching: a child obsessed with clocks and time [29:58] Making the clock interest a strength: the timekeeper idea and wearing a watch [32:11] The family who removed all letter and number toys on a therapist's advice [34:21] Nicole's son and monster trucks: the double standard for neurotypical deep interests [36:41] The relief on a parent's face when given permission to lean in [39:05] Deep interests are doorways, not obstacles RESOURCES MENTIONED The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective The Hardest Case Roundtable (monthly feature inside The Collective)  ABOUT NICOLE Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective. She has spent over 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and is on a mission to help SLPs, OTs, and special educators shift from compliance-based practices to child-led, neuroaffirming approaches that actually work. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two young children.

    41 min

  4. 26 May

    51. The Four Things That Make Every Child-Led Session Work

    Download this episode's summary and action plan Learn more about The Child-Led Collective EPISODE SUMMARY Nicole breaks down the Let Them Lead Framework, the four-part approach she uses in every child-led session: Regulate, Connect, Honor, and Expand. She walks through what each component looks like in real sessions (including a monster chase game and a little boy who loved rainbow order), talks about why "child-led" is not a buzzword, and explains why these four things are not a step-by-step checklist but a set of lenses she keeps in mind throughout every session. KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS [00:00] What does "child-led" actually mean? And why Nicole still finds it hard to answer [02:29] Introducing the Let Them Lead Framework [03:15] When "play-based" became a buzzword and Nicole's first "huh" moment at a local clinic [04:48] Doing the hard parts of child-led therapy, not just the fun parts [05:30] The gatekeeping problem in our field and why Nicole is not that person [07:12] Social media pressure, imperfection, and giving yourself grace [08:30] "You're not wrong, you're early." Why child-led professionals are early adopters [11:49] In 10 years, everyone will say they were always child-led [13:00] The Let Them Lead Framework overview: Regulate, Connect, Honor, Expand [14:12] These are not linear steps. They're components that float within a session [15:30] REGULATE: What regulation actually means (hint: it's not just "calm") [16:26] Nicki Smit's explanation that changed everything for Nicole [18:51] Can the child's nervous system tolerate connection right now? [21:09] Regulation as an ongoing lens, not a checkbox at the start of the session [23:30] The monster chase game: co-regulation in action (the sleepy, tiptoe monster) [28:03] Explaining co-regulation to a parent in real time [30:07] CONNECT: Why being a partner matters more than being the director [32:33] "Slower but stickier" progress in a child-led approach [34:57] The window story: building connection by joining a child where they already are [37:18] Retraining the voice in our heads that says "I'm not doing anything" [39:35] Letting go of the anxiety about what others might think of your sessions [41:57] HONOR: Understanding what a child is trying to accomplish and not getting in the way [44:18] The rainbow crayons story: honoring a child's vision [48:54] Honoring how a child communicates, not just what they're doing [51:12] Multimodal communication and why one way is not better than another [53:33] EXPAND: Where clinical expertise meets child-led practice [55:55] Modeling one step beyond where the child is (GLP example) [58:19] "If I push too hard and expand, the other three components fall apart" [59:30] Why rubric-based goals make the Let Them Lead Framework possible [01:00:40] How the framework was developed from hundreds of hours of real sessions [01:02:57] Going deeper inside The Child-Led Collective   RESOURCES MENTIONED The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective Nicki Schmidt Therapy  https://www.instagram.com/nikkismittherapy/   ABOUT NICOLE Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective. She has spent over 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and is on a mission to help SLPs, OTs, and special educators shift from compliance-based practices to child-led, neuroaffirming approaches that actually work. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two young children.

    1hr 5min

  5. 19 May

    50. Protesting Is Protective (And Why We Need to Encourage Autistic Kids to Tell Us No)

    DOWNLOAD THE FREE SUMMARY & ACTION STEPS FROM THIS EPISODE HERE! SUMMARY Nicole shares the story of the first time an autistic student told her to "go away" and why that moment was worth celebrating. She breaks down why protesting is one of the most important and most overlooked communication functions we should be supporting, how the slippery slope fallacy keeps professionals from teaching it, and what to say to team members who worry that letting kids say no means they'll never cooperate again. KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS [00:00] The "go away" moment and why Nicole was thrilled [03:15] Protesting as self-advocacy, boundary setting, and autonomy [04:30] Why protesting is often one of the first goals Nicole targets [05:34] The slippery slope fallacy and why "they'll never stop saying no" isn't real [06:30] Nicole's personal story: wake windows, postpartum depression, and all-or-nothing thinking [10:18] How rigid systems thinking carries over into how we support autistic kids [11:00] Why honoring a child's "no" actually strengthens the relationship [12:43] The tickling analogy: what happens when you can't say stop [15:09] Protesting as protection against harm and abuse [16:30] The developmental "no" phase and why autistic kids need it too [19:56] Going back to the "go away" moment and what it really communicated [22:00] Why politeness shouldn't come before reliable communication [25:30] When a child protests, they're testing trust and safety in your relationship [27:00] Honoring "no" reduces the need for escalation [29:20] Being child-led makes this easier [30:30] Going deeper inside The Child-Led Collective   RESOURCES MENTIONED The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective Previous episode on the Slippery Slope Fallacy   ABOUT NICOLE Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective. She has spent over 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and is on a mission to help SLPs, OTs, and special educators shift from compliance-based practices to child-led, neuroaffirming approaches that actually work. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and lives in Philadelphia with her husband and two children.   META DESCRIPTION  Why teaching autistic kids to protest is protective, empowering, and one of the first communication goals Nicole targets. Plus what to say to skeptical teams.   TARGET KEYWORDS/PHRASES 1. teaching protesting to autistic children 2. child-led speech therapy 3. neuroaffirming communication goals 4. teaching kids to say no 5. protesting as a communication function 6. compliance vs connection speech therapy 7. autistic self-advocacy skills 8. child-led SLP podcast 9. honoring communication in autism 10. boundary setting for autistic kids

    30 min

  6. 12 May

    49. Should We Be Working On Requesting With Autistic Students?

    Join us inside The Child-Led Collective! If you've ever felt that nagging feeling in a session like, "okay, but we've been working on requesting for a really long time and I don't know what to do next," this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale. Requesting tends to get a bit of a bad rep, and you know what, sometimes for good reason. Not because helping a child ask for what they want or need is wrong, but because so many of us were taught to start there and then just... stay there. For years. And in the meantime, our students' communication functions stay narrow when they could be expanding in beautiful, meaningful, connected ways. In this episode, you'll get a full breakdown of the different kinds of requesting we can support, why each one matters, and how to start building these into your day without overhauling your whole approach. Plus, the gentle case for why "he might ask for the playground all day" isn't a good enough reason to skip teaching a skill. What you'll hear inside this episode Why requesting is a great place to start, and a not-so-great place to stay How traditional requesting work can accidentally turn communication into a transaction The 10+ different kinds of requests you can support (and how to know where your student is with each one) A real story about a little girl who couldn't open her lunch and what it taught me about requesting help How requesting people (yes, people) can transform a child's connection with their family How to honor a child's "I'm all done" without throwing safety out the window Why measuring a child against their own previous skills is the most honest way to see progress Why this episode matters So many of our autistic students walk around with "I want" essentially baked into their communication. And not because they actually mean "I want" every time, but because that's what we've modeled, taught, and reinforced for years. When we expand the purposes for which a child can communicate, we're not just adding more vocabulary to a device or more goals to a paper. We're giving them more access to their world. To their people. To their wants and needs and preferences and limits. That is what child-led speech therapy looks like in practice. The kinds of requests we walk through in this episode Requesting favorite things Requesting things they need (the spoon for the yogurt situation) Requesting places they want to go Requesting actions (and directing actions) Requesting people they want to see Requesting help Requesting something different Requesting more Requesting a break Requesting to be all done A few things to sit with after you listen Which of these requests does your student already have reliable access to? Which one feels the most overlooked on your caseload right now? If your student suddenly had a way to request a person, who would they ask for first? Where might "I want" be doing more work in your student's communication than it should? A moment from this episode you'll probably remember There's a story in this episode about a hyperlexic student riding in the car with his mom. He says "Chick-fil-A" from the back seat for the first time ever. She does what any of us would do. She makes a sharp turn into the parking lot. He gets his food. He's happy. That's the whole point of this work. Not the perfect request. Not the polished sentence. Just a child finally having a way to tell the people who love him where he wants to go. Resources mentioned The communication functions checklist for requesting (available inside The Child-Led Collective) Season 1 episodes on supporting early gestalt language processors Keep going with us inside The Collective If this episode helped you see requesting differently, you're going to feel right at home inside The Child-Led Collective. The checklist I'm reading from in this episode is one of many tools members have access to, along with implementation videos, monthly trainings, a community of professionals doing this work alongside you, and ongoing coaching from me. You can join us at jointhechildledcollective.com. This is the start of a series I'm planning to break down communication functions one by one across upcoming episodes. If this format was helpful, send me a DM, send me an email, or leave a review and let me know. Your feedback shapes where we go next. Stay connected Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss the next episode in this series Leave a review if this one helped you Share it with a teammate who is feeling stuck on requesting

    29 min

  7. 5 May

    48. What Happens Between IEP Meetings (And Why It Matters More Than the Meeting Itself)

    Join The Child-Led Collective: jointhechildledcollective.com   One IEP meeting a year. That's it. And somehow we're supposed to build a real relationship with a family in 60 minutes (or, as I recently heard, 25...which, no). This episode is about what happens in between those meetings, because that stretch of time is where the relationship either grows or goes flat. I'm sharing the system I've been using for nearly 10 years to stay connected with the families I support, including the tool I found out about from Rachel Madel and have never stopped using, and the six principles that guide every single update I send home. This is one of those things that sounds like more work but actually ends up being less, because when families are genuinely in the loop, everything else gets easier. I also want to talk about something that still makes me a little fired up: what happens when teams judge families for not showing up, not following through, or not seeming engaged, without ever actually knowing what that family's life looks like. The only reason I knew what was really going on with one of my student's families was because I had built a relationship outside of that one annual meeting. And it made all the difference. What You'll Learn: Why IEP meetings alone are not enough to build the kind of family partnership that actually supports progress The story of what happened when a team started judging a parent who didn't show up, and why I was the only one who knew the full picture The tool I've used for nearly 10 years to send weekly updates to families (without spending hours on it) How to reach families who aren't checking email, using a QR code and a piece of paper The six principles behind my Caregiver Collaboration System, including why "no homework" is one of them Why families not following through is almost never about buy-in, and what's actually getting in the way What to say in a two-minute video when you have no idea where to start How to frame a hard session for a family without adding guilt or making them feel like something went wrong Why one mom cried watching a Loom update I barely thought twice about sending Resources Mentioned: Loom (free video recording tool): https://www.loom.com Join The Child-Led Collective: jointhechildledcollective.com

    54 min

  8. 28 Apr

    47. Supporting Autistic Kids Through Transitions: Real Strategies That Work

    Have you ever had a great speech session with a child... and then watched the whole thing fall apart the second it was time to go back to class? Same. And for a long time, I felt like I was doing something wrong. Today we're talking about why transitions are so much harder than we treat them, and what to do about it without abandoning your child-led values. Episode Summary A conversation came up recently inside The Child-Led Collective about this exact thing... a clinician dreading the walk back to the classroom because she knew it wasn't going to go well. And I get it. I've been there too. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on what's actually happening when an autistic child struggles with transitions. Spoiler... it's not a behavior issue. It's a nervous system shift. And once you start seeing it that way, the whole game changes. I'm sharing the real strategies I've used over the years in school, clinic, and private practice settings... including the ones that worked beautifully and the ones that backfired. Because not every kid responds to a timer. Not every kid needs a transition object. And the answer is almost never "rip the bandaid off and force them to go." What You'll Learn Why transitions aren't one isolated skill kids need to be taught... they're a nervous system shift kids need support through The honest reason your child-led session might be making the transition back to class harder (and why that's not a reason to make your sessions less child-led) How to tell when a tool like a visual timer is actually helping versus quietly cranking up a child's anxiety The clinical nuance behind transition objects... when they work, when they don't, and the systems you can put in place so the classroom team is on board What to do when you're stuck between honoring the child's nervous system and racing to your next session How to build regulation into the end of your session so the transition doesn't catch anyone off guard The schedule shift I'd make every single day of the week to save a kid from a stressful transition Why calling down to the classroom for backup feels so loaded... and how to reframe that whole dynamic with your support staff Your Next Steps Join The Child-Led Collective: https://jointhechildledcollective.com

    46 min
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About

Hosted by Nicole Casey, speech-language pathologist and founder of The Child-Led SLP, Let Them Lead is the go-to podcast for professionals and caregivers who want to support autistic kids with respect, trust, and connection. Each week, we explore child-led, neuroaffirming approaches to communication, play, and therapy—centered around the belief that autistic kids deserve communication partners who honor and support them holistically. Whether you're navigating gestalt language processing, AAC, sensory differences, or just want to break free from compliance-based systems, you're in the right place. You'll hear honest conversations, practical strategies, and plenty of real-life examples to help you unlearn old habits and confidently support the kids you love or work with. No behavior charts. No rigid protocols. Just curiosity, compassion, and the freedom to follow your autistic child's lead.

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