Not Quite Typical: AuDHD & Neurodivergent Conversations

Amber Nap

Late-diagnosed autistic & ADHD, Amber is an expert by experience living it. Ditching small talk for raw, real conversations, Not Quite Typical is a safe space for anyone figuring out their own chaotic brain in a world not built for it. New episodes drop every Tuesday with lived-experience guests & experts. ⚠️ Disclaimer: Amber is not a medical professional; this show is for connection, not diagnosis. Some episodes touch on sensitive topics, so please listen with care. Connect on Instagram: @notquite_typical

  1. 2 days ago

    AuDHD Dating vs Friendship: What 800 Dates Taught Me

    I’ve been on nearly 800 dates. Two became relationships. In the same time, I’ve made nine close friendships without a single app. So is it really true that neurodivergent people are “bad at relationships”? Or is dating just not built for AuDHD brains? In this solo episode of Not Quite Typical, I unpack why dating can feel so hard for autistic and ADHD people, and why our friendships often work so much better. We get into: • Amatonormativity, the belief that romantic love outranks every other kind of love (a term coined by philosopher Elizabeth Brake) • Sensory overload, hidden social rules and rejection sensitivity on dates • The relationship escalator, and why it doesn’t fit everyone • Dating apps, dopamine and the ghosting loop • Why dating asks us to do in an hour what friendship takes months to build • Unmasking, double empathy and low-demand friendships • Neurodivergent love languages, including penguin pebbling 🐧 • Three ways to find your people If you’ve ever been told you’re too much, too intense or just bad at connection, this one’s for you. 00:00 800 dates, 2 relationships, 9 close friends 02:05 Flipping the lens 03:01 Amatonormativity: the rule nobody told us 05:32 Why dating is harder for neurodivergent brains 08:26 Dating apps and the dopamine slot machine 13:59 One seat vs a whole table 16:14 Ghosting and the uncertainty loop 17:27 Dating rushes what friendship takes months to build 21:19 Why neurodivergent friendships work 23:17 Neurodivergent love languages 25:24 How to find your people 26:03 Not giving up on love, just redistributing it 26:44 Your turn Follow the show so you never miss an episode, and leave a rating if this one landed. Come say hi on Instagram @notquite_typical and tell me: what friend has changed your life? #AuDHD #autism #ADHD #neurodivergent #latediagnosed #dating #friendship

  2. 3 Nov

    Limiting Beliefs, Neuroplasticity & Neurodivergence: How to Rewire Your Brain

    Limiting beliefs aren’t facts. They’re paths your brain has built, and neuroplasticity means they can be rebuilt. In this episode of the nqt. podcast, I explore how limiting beliefs form in neurodivergent childhoods (ADHD, autism, AuDHD), why they feel so true, and how to start rewiring them in a way that actually works for an ND brain. This is part 3 of Understanding My Brain, a mini-series for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults rediscovering how their brains work. If you haven’t heard parts 1 and 2, start there. In this episode: What a limiting belief is, and the one I carried for yearsHow childhood experiences, masking and other people’s words shape what we believe about ourselvesNeuroplasticity explained: from overgrown grass to motorwaysWhy neuroplasticity isn’t a cure, and why that mattersThe double empathy problem and talking to my younger selfSix ND-friendly ways to rewire your beliefs, without relying on willpowerA simple challenge: write down one belief, ask where it started, and whose words they really wereIf this episode resonated, please follow or subscribe, and send it to someone who might need it. I’d love for this to become a community, so tell me in the comments which belief you’re working on. If you’re working through this with a therapist or mental health specialist, keep doing that, and take care of yourself in this. Find me:Instagram: @notquite_typical #ADHD #Autism #Neurodivergent #LimitingBeliefs #Neuroplasticity #AuDHD #LateDiagnosed

  3. 14 Oct

    Why Can’t I Stop Scrolling? ADHD, Dopamine & the Late-Diagnosed Brain

    Episode 1: Being Bored Is a Skill (Understanding My Brain Ep. 1) What happens when you have five minutes to wait and don't immediately reach for your phone? In the first episode of our new mini-series, Understanding My Brain, we explore the hidden value of boredom, why late-diagnosed neurodivergent brains interact so differently with screens, and how the automatic reach for our phones has become our default state. We look at why boredom can feel physically uncomfortable with ADHD, how phones act as a protective sensory shield for autistic adults in overstimulating environments, and what happens to our internal world when we finally put the screen down. Plus, we break down the mechanics of the "Default Mode Network"—the brain network responsible for memory, imagination, and building our sense of self—and share a simple 4-step framework to help you reclaim your focus without shame. Key Topics Covered: The Five-Minute Wait: Why the automatic phone reach has become our default state. ADHD, Autism & Phones: Why boredom feels painful for some brains, and why phones make a great sensory shield for others. The Default Mode Network: Why daydreaming and mind-wandering are actually when your brain builds who you are. Dopamine & Scrolling: Understanding anticipation, slot-machine mechanics, and why the next scroll always feels magnetic. A 4-Step Practice to Reset: How to notice your triggers, introduce friction (like grayscale), and choose intentional, phone-free moments. Research Notes & References The Default Mode Network (DMN): Refers to an interconnected network of brain regions that activate when a person is not focused on the outside world. It is heavily tied to internal processing, autobiographical memory, daydreaming, future-planning, and identity consolidation. Research suggests that human minds spend roughly 50% of waking hours wandering or disengaged from immediate external tasks. "The Button Experiment" (Disengaged Mind Study): Source: Wilson, T. D., Reinhard, D. A., Westgate, E. C., Gilbert, D. T., Ellerbeck, N., Hahn, C., Brown, C. L., & Shaked, A. (2014). Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind. Science, 345(6192), 75–77. Key Finding: In studies where participants were asked to sit alone in an unadorned room with nothing to do for 6 to 15 minutes, many found it deeply uncomfortable. When given the option to administer a mild electric shock to themselves rather than just sit with their thoughts, 67% of men and 25% of women chose to shock themselves at least once. Dopamine & Anticipation Mechanics: Psychological studies on dopamine demonstrate that it functions primarily as a chemical of anticipation and reward-prediction, rather than pure sensory pleasure—explaining why variable-reward systems (like slot machines and endless social media feeds) create such powerful compulsive loops. Screen Time Statistics: According to data tracking via industry insight reports like the IPA TouchPoints study, UK adults spend an average of 7 hours and 27 minutes per day engaging with screens. Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast/episode is for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only. It reflects personal experiences, reflections, and general discussions around neurodivergence, psychology, and modern digital habits, and should not be taken as formal medical, psychological, or clinical advice. If you are navigating mental health challenges, late diagnosis processing, or looking for tailored support, please consult a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.

  4. 28 Jul

    S02E07:Navigating Adult Neurodivergence: PDA, Demands & Burnout with Dr Jay Watts

    Why is the term "Pathological Demand Avoidance" so heavily contested, and what does PDA actually look like in adulthood? In this episode, Amber is joined by Dr Jay Watts , a neurodivergent Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist and disability activist for an eye-opening conversation about PDA from an adult and neurodivergent perspective. Together, they break down the history of the label, the shift toward reclaiming PDA as a Persistent or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, and how demand avoidance intersects with Damian Milton’s Double Empathy Problem. Whether you’re late-diagnosed, questioning if you experience PDA, or wanting to understand how environmental demands impact nervous systems, this conversation offers validation, history, and deep insight. In this episode, we cover: The history of PDA and why the "pathological" label is problematic. Reclaiming PDA as a Persistent/Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. The transition of PDA from childhood into adult life, work, and relationships. How Damian Milton's Double Empathy Problem explains the clash between neurotypes. Overcoming shame cycles around executive dysfunction, inertia, and demands. Guest Info: Dr Jay Watts: jaywatts.co.ukX/Twitter: https://x.com/Shrink_at_LargeWritings: https://city.academia.edu/DrJayWatts Your support means the world to me and the show, so if you like what you hear please hit 'follow' and leave a 5-star review. Share this episode with a friend or colleague who needs to hear it! Follow us on instagram: @notquite_typical 📩 hello@notquitetypical.com Content Warning & Disclaimer:Content Warning: This episode contains brief discussions of mental distress, suicidal ideation, burnout, and trauma. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only and is based on personal experiences and guest expertise. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or clinical support.

  5. 14 Jul

    S02E06:Can the film industry be accessible for neurodivergent talent?With Filmmaker Sarah Leigh

    If you’ve ever felt like the spaces you want to work or exist in weren't built with your brain or body in mind, this episode is a must-listen. Joining the podcast is the incredible sarah leigh, an award-winning filmmaker, writer, director, and the powerhouse founder of inclusivity films and inclusive talent. In this open, honest, and eye-opening conversation, we dive deep into what it really takes to break down barriers in the creative industries. sarah shares why true, absolute accessibility is a continuous work in progress, and how we can move past tokenism to create spaces where neurodivergent and disabled talent can actually feel seen, heard, and supported. we explore the reality of navigating the film and television world, the power of putting actionable access riders on sets, and why a lack of access holds back some of the most brilliant creatives in the industry. sarah also opens up about her personal journey as a neurodivergent creative, being a mother to a disabled son, and her incredible advocacy work with the nhs to develop healthcare passports that make medical appointments easier to navigate for those with complex needs. Connect with Sarah: website: https://www.inclusivityfilms.co.uk/ instagram: @inclusivityfilms / @sarahleighfilm 💖 love the show? hit 'follow' on spotify or apple podcasts, leave a 5-star review, and share this episode with a friend or colleague who needs to hear it!follow us on instagram: @notquite_typical 📩 hello@notquitetypical.com 🚨 disclaimer & content warning:while i share my lived experience as a neurodivergent individual, and my guests share their professional expertise, this podcast is not a substitute for medical advice or formal diagnostic assessment. please consult healthcare professionals for official clinical support. we often cover sensitive subjects, so please listen with care and look after yourself.

  6. 7 Jul

    S02E05:Hypnotherapy for AuDHD: Bypassing the Mask & Dissolving Burnout with Hypnotherapist Josephine Knechtli

    If you’ve completed the "mainstream levels" of mental health care,from talk therapy to psychiatric labels,and you’re still left wondering why you are struggling, this episode is the "how-to" guide you’ve been waiting for. Joining the podcast is the incredible Josephine Knechtli, a brilliant hypnotherapist who is completely changing the game for the neurodivergent community. In this deep, humorous, and incredibly cathartic conversation, we bust the old Hollywood myths about hypnosis and mind control to reveal why "Hypnoland" is actually Neurodivergent City. Josephine explains how hypnotherapy completely bypasses the "crunchy, crusty layer" of social masking, coulds, and shoulds to target the raw, emotional protection mechanisms underneath. We dive into why traditional behavior management tools fail us when we are in a primitive fear state, how the psychiatric system often leaves late-discovered women feeling fundamentally broken, and why true unmasking requires building deep internal safety rather than just trying harder. Connect with Josephine: Website InstagramListen to Josephine's Podcast 💖 Love the show? Hit 'Follow' on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, leave a 5-star review, and share this episode with a friend or colleague who needs to hear it! Follow us on: ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ 📩 hello@notquitetypical.com 🚨 DISCLAIMER & CONTENT WARNING: While I share my lived experience as an AuDHD individual, and my guests share their professional expertise, this podcast is not a substitute for medical advice or formal diagnostic assessment. Please consult healthcare professionals for official ADHD support.

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About

Late-diagnosed autistic & ADHD, Amber is an expert by experience living it. Ditching small talk for raw, real conversations, Not Quite Typical is a safe space for anyone figuring out their own chaotic brain in a world not built for it. New episodes drop every Tuesday with lived-experience guests & experts. ⚠️ Disclaimer: Amber is not a medical professional; this show is for connection, not diagnosis. Some episodes touch on sensitive topics, so please listen with care. Connect on Instagram: @notquite_typical

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